EB Mafia

[JayKay PE]

Cool frijoles. I am currently practicing hip thrusting on my squeaky wheeled skate board.

Dude.  So jealous right now.

 

[ChaosMuppetPE]

@JayKay PE, lather up...

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

Welp, 4 minutes to go. Don't say I didn't warn y'alls.

 

[JayKay PE]

Time!

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

I ded.

 

[ChaosMuppetPE]

The suspense is killing me. @JayKay PE, please tell me @squaretaper PE is a member of an underground ring of illegal pharmaceutical salesmen.

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

Please, please. I prefer the term 'street pharmacist.'

 

[ChaosMuppetPE]

Please, please. I prefer the term 'street pharmacist.'

Maybe prohibited product peddler?

 

[ChaosMuppetPE]

Here's a little something to occupy all of us while we wait for the official count.

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

Maybe prohibited product peddler?

As someone with an actual English degree, one key to good writing is to always avoid alliteration.

 

[JayKay PE]

As someone with an actual English degree, one key to good writing is to always avoid alliteration.

...

*deletes some of story and goes into re-write mode*

 

[ChaosMuppetPE]

As someone with an actual English degree, one key to good writing is to always avoid alliteration.

I actually adore alliteration and always appreciate accumulating alphabetical asymmetries.

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

I are so ded now. So liberate.

 

[ChaosMuppetPE]

Japanese people are scary.

 

[JayKay PE]

Disaster strikes during the brownie round.

A faulty Pyrex, no longer made of borosilicate and instead the still highly suspect soda-lime, explodes when @ChaosMuppetPE takes their...questionable brownies out of the oven.  Luckily, their eyes are closed when they toss the dish to the side, preventing them losing their vision, but not everyone is so lucky from the subsequent spray of hot glass shards mixed with molten chocolate .

A cameraman groans as they limply drape their arms over a huge piece of glass  sticking out of their side.  A huge vat of whipped cream topping has been knocked over during the event, making the floor a slippery mess, and someone is attempting to wipe up the light pink-tinted foam.  The judges look slightly queasy, but don't move from their perches.  God knows what would happen to their image, and the competition paycheck, if they didn't anything outside their contract?

'Medic!  MEDIC!' Someone yells, only to groan when the movement causes the tear in the  corner of their mouth to open further towards their ear.  Blood fountains down towards their chin as they clamp their hand over the flesh that is barely holding together by bits of skin, the motion causing their tongue to push against their hand in a futile attempt to escape.  A garbled sound produces globs of spittle, which causes the remaining chefs to cover their bakes in an attempt to prevent cross-contamination.

They did not prevent cross-contamination.

There is an awkward pause until the director pipes up, "Where is @squaretaper PE?  This was part of their contract to actually respond to an emergency when a real emergency happened!"

As one, everyone turns to the epicenter of the bakeware explosion.

Tiny-pinpricks of light cover @squaretaper PE, almost looking like edible glitter under the high-powered studio lighting.  They had landed on their side, slumped over, and a pool of blood slowly begins to form from the multiple slivers that had occurred all over their body.  Vacant eyes stare forward and nobody wants to look too closely to see if those are tears or shards of glass rimming their eyes.

"Wait, one of the bakers was the on-site medic?  That doesn't...seem very well planned?"  @ChebyshevII PE questioned from their stool, tilting back in an attempt to prevent the pool of blood from touching their loafers that were gifted to them by someone ultra-famous that they couldn't say outside of DMs.

@RBHeadge PE shrugs, "I heard it was a budget matter."  @RBHeadge PE knew a lot about budgets.  They were quite smart in running their brand in most major cities around the world.  There was even a rumor they could convert currency and somehow always had the right exchange rate.

"What?"

"It was so they could pay us more to come watch this debacle." @Audi driver, P.E. drawls, tapping the tabletop so the intern assigned to the judges could refill their glass with a refreshing prosecco.  Drinking was the only thing that made this whole thing worthwhile.  That and the free hotel.

"Oh.  In that case, perfectly acceptable," @ChebyshevII PE responds, flipping out their phone so they can take a picture of their smiling reflection in a pool of blood with an artfully placed slice of devil's food cake within the frame.

#dying4aslice

@squaretaper PE was the doctor

The remaining players are:

@tj_PE, @leggo PE, @blybrook PE, @chart94, @NikR, @LyceeFruit, @txjennah PE, @Ranger1316, @ChaosMuppetPE, and @MadamPirate

The final vote was:

5 @squaretaper PE

4 @ChaosMuppetPE

1 @Ranger1316

1 @MadamPirate

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

I. Told. You. People.

 

[ChaosMuppetPE]

I. Told. You. People.

CHIT.

 

[Booo]

I. Told. You. People.

I was hoping someone else would vote chaos and there would at least be a coin flip. 

 

[ChaosMuppetPE]

I was hoping someone else would vote chaos and there would at least be a coin flip. 

Why the hate boner for me?

 

[tj_PE]

I was hoping someone else would vote chaos and there would at least be a coin flip. 

Noone asked!