EB Mafia

[RBHeadge PE]

To be clear, my "haha" reaction is related to the @JayKay PE's story and not @blybrook PE gruesome murder.

 

[JayKay PE]

To be clear, my "haha" reaction is related to the @JayKay PE's story and not @blybrook PE gruesome murder.

Suburbia murders?  Suburbia murders.

I have decreed that to be this round's theme.

 

[tj_PE]

Omg I thought for sure I'd get dedded

 

[tj_PE]

Also my life in the eyes of @JayKay PEis way cooler than reality. Now I feel the need for bedazzled weights. #neverskiplegday

 

[tj_PE]

And! I feel like I would have tried to unload the machine and help!

 

[JayKay PE]

And! I feel like I would have tried to unload the machine and help!

Real tj def would have helped, no doubt.  Suburban tj is too worried about getting blood on their expensive sneakers, which aren't used for running, to help.

 

[MadamPirate PE]

Following a mild warning from the HOA due to the brunch events, which mostly concerned the packages ruining the aesthetics of the community versus the death of a neighbor, @tj_PE is relaxing for the evening.  Ready to dig into their dinosaur erotic novel, which is sooooooo much better than @vhab49_PE’s Viking trash, they pause at a knock at the door.  Who could be visiting at such a late hour?

Blowing out the nearby candle, which added ambiance to the sitting room, and grabbing a bedazzled 50-lb kettlebell, which also added ambiance, they slowly crept to the door.  Might as well get in some exercise to keep tight while protecting the homestead.  A few squat steps later and the kettlebell slips from their sweaty hold, crashing violently to the lovingly restored hardwood flooring.

Screw fitness!  I want murder, @tj_PE thinks, taking a leg-burning leap towards to front door in hopes of catching the assailant in the act-only to open the door to an empty porch.

A flyer for a nearby Chinese restaurant flutters to the ground, having been wedged in the door frame, presumably by the knocker.

As they turned to close the front door, contemplating the illicit flyer to see if there was at least a good lunch combo, they paused at a slight wheezing noise coming from next door.  Lifting their head, they slowly headed over to their neighbor’s open garage door to investigate.  A garage converted into a state-of-the-art home personal gym comes into view, with the best-of-the-best equipment laying mostly untouched except for the Peloton treadmill.  The warm yellow lighting inside the garage makes the shadows look more menacing that usual.

@tj_PE steps into the halo of light and begins to wonder if it was a poor decision to visit when the wheezing becomes louder, now interspersed with a wet popping noise.  Holding up their phone after they hit record, hoping to at least get some YouTube hits if they die, they step over a dusty yoga mat and find the source of the wheezing: @blybrook PE

Legs pinned to their chest, muscles pushed to the max, a leg press has obviously been used incorrectly.  Loaded with weight plates totaling over 900-lbs, the weight shifts slightly lower as @tj_PE watches, forcing torn leg muscles to flap helplessly across @blybrook PE’s chest and against the over-sanitized pleather bench.  @blybrook PE’s arms hang limp, a small stream of blood trickling from shoulder to fingertip, and their eyes stare vacantly up at the brushed concrete ceiling of their garage.

@tj_PE swallows down a sticky lump in their throat when a different texture catches the light (is that bone?), before dropping their phone and fleeing.

@blybrook PE was killed by the mafia last night.

The remaining players are:

@ChebyshevII PE, @chart94, @RBHeadge PE, @Will.I.Am, @tj_PE, @Ranger1316, @NikR, @vhab49_PE, and @MadamPirate

This is legit my new favorite murder story.

 

[JayKay PE]

This is legit my new favorite murder story.

I'm kinda using these as writing exercises.  I wish I could say I was a mastermind writer, who has everything planned out, but I am literally like "what's an interesting way to die that wouldn't be amiss in the Hamptons?  Oh!  I know!"  I'm actually excited to see who votes for who so I can look up more Suburban nonsense that makes them angry.

 

[tj_PE]

This is legit my new favorite murder story.

why is it your favorite? because you chose him to be murdered????? :suspish: :squintyeyes:

 

[MadamPirate PE]

why is it your favorite? because you chose him to be murdered????? :suspish: :squintyeyes:

I didn't choose @blybrook PE, I chose @vhab49_PE!

You're awfully accusatory this morning - I bet you're mafia. 

 

[blybrook PE]

What a way to get killed! Great story line.

 

[Booo]

Following a mild warning from the HOA due to the brunch events, which mostly concerned the packages ruining the aesthetics of the community versus the death of a neighbor, @tj_PE is relaxing for the evening.  Ready to dig into their dinosaur erotic novel, which is sooooooo much better than @vhab49_PE’s Viking trash, they pause at a knock at the door.  Who could be visiting at such a late hour?

Blowing out the nearby candle, which added ambiance to the sitting room, and grabbing a bedazzled 50-lb kettlebell, which also added ambiance, they slowly crept to the door.  Might as well get in some exercise to keep tight while protecting the homestead.  A few squat steps later and the kettlebell slips from their sweaty hold, crashing violently to the lovingly restored hardwood flooring.

Screw fitness!  I want murder, @tj_PE thinks, taking a leg-burning leap towards to front door in hopes of catching the assailant in the act-only to open the door to an empty porch.

A flyer for a nearby Chinese restaurant flutters to the ground, having been wedged in the door frame, presumably by the knocker.

As they turned to close the front door, contemplating the illicit flyer to see if there was at least a good lunch combo, they paused at a slight wheezing noise coming from next door.  Lifting their head, they slowly headed over to their neighbor’s open garage door to investigate.  A garage converted into a state-of-the-art home personal gym comes into view, with the best-of-the-best equipment laying mostly untouched except for the Peloton treadmill.  The warm yellow lighting inside the garage makes the shadows look more menacing that usual.

@tj_PE steps into the halo of light and begins to wonder if it was a poor decision to visit when the wheezing becomes louder, now interspersed with a wet popping noise.  Holding up their phone after they hit record, hoping to at least get some YouTube hits if they die, they step over a dusty yoga mat and find the source of the wheezing: @blybrook PE

Legs pinned to their chest, muscles pushed to the max, a leg press has obviously been used incorrectly.  Loaded with weight plates totaling over 900-lbs, the weight shifts slightly lower as @tj_PE watches, forcing torn leg muscles to flap helplessly across @blybrook PE’s chest and against the over-sanitized pleather bench.  @blybrook PE’s arms hang limp, a small stream of blood trickling from shoulder to fingertip, and their eyes stare vacantly up at the brushed concrete ceiling of their garage.

@tj_PE swallows down a sticky lump in their throat when a different texture catches the light (is that bone?), before dropping their phone and fleeing.

@blybrook PE was killed by the mafia last night.

The remaining players are:



@ChebyshevII PE, @chart94, @RBHeadge PE, @Will.I.Am, @tj_PE, @Ranger1316, @NikR, @vhab49_PE, and @MadamPirate

Damn these suburbia murder stories are scary. I may actually lock my door tonight to be safe.

 

[JayKay PE]

Damn these suburbia murder stories are scary. I may actually lock my door tonight to be safe.

Karen is upset you didn't buy any Girl Scout nuts for the holidays.

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

Karen is upset you didn't buy any Girl Scout nuts for the holidays.

That reminds me, we forgot to order Girl Scout junk for my daughter.  Oops.

 

[DoctorWho-PE]

I didn't choose @blybrook PE, I chose @vhab49_PE!

You're awfully accusatory this morning - I bet you're mafia. 

vhab is not the mafia member you are looking for.

<<squintyeyes>>

<<<<<----- closest I thought to squinty eyes

 

[RBHeadge PE]

I didn't choose @blybrook PE, I chose @vhab49_PE!

You're awfully accusatory this morning - I bet you're mafia. 

She was the first person to vote for @civilrobot last night. It'd be pretty galxay brain for a mafioso to initiate voting for a fellow mafioso.

 

[tj_PE]

also, wasn't being accusatory, just suspicious! 

 

[chart94 PE]

has anyone asked @tj_PE if they are mafia?!?!

 

[tj_PE]

has anyone asked @tj_PE if they are mafia?!?!

many people! i am not mafia. I am just a dance teacher. 

$5 off if you wear a tutu tu class!

 

[chart94 PE]

many people! i am not mafia. I am just a dance teacher. 

$5 off if you wear a tutu tu class!

Do you teach the salsa?!?1