Dirtiest Joke Thread- potentially X-rated, NSFW, etc...you've been warned

[pbrme]

Sorry...I had a meeting today that was long.

What do you with a dog with no legs?

You take it for a drag!

I heard it this way:

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Nothing, the fucker won't come to you anyways.

And a few more...

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call a woman with one leg? Ileen

What do you call an oriental woman with one leg? Ireen

What do you call a man with no arms or legs, water skiing? Skip

What do you call a man with no arms or legs swimming? Bob

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs raking leaves? Russel

 

[pbrme]

since no one's posted any yet:

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? ...ughhh

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? By walking on her text books with their golf shoes. ...or They moved the furniture around. ...or Stuck door knobs on the walls.

What's Hellen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy ...or Velcro

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? She needs the other to moan with.

Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love

 

[MA_PE]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying on the floor? Matt

How do you make a homone? don't pay her

 

[Flyer_PE]

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pond? Bob

 

[IlPadrino]

"How do you make a hormone?" I heard the quickest way was to put sand in the vaseline.

 

[Mike in Gastonia]

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

She was a woman.......... < quickly ducks >

 

[guitarjamman]

How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the chin..............

 

[pbrme]

A cowboy was riding through the desert one day...

As the cowboy scanned the sun baked landscape, he noticed a dark silhouette on a nearby dune, and decided to check it out.

As he rounded the top, he was shocked to see a naked Indian laying square on his back, with his dick standing straight in the air.

The cowboy peared down and asked the naked Indian; "what the Hell do you think yer doin?"

The naked Indian looked back up at the cowboy and said; "me tell'em time"

The cowboy asked; "well what time is it?"

Naked Indian looks accross at his pecker and says; "It'em about 2:30"

The cowboy pulls out his pocket watch and says; "damn, yer right on the money." and rides off.

A while later, he noticed another dark silhouette on a nearby dune, and decided to check it out.

As he rounded the top, there was another naked Indian laying square on his back, with his dick standing straight in the air.

The cowboy peared down and asked the naked Indian; "what the Hell do you think yer doin?"

The naked Indian looked back up at the cowboy and said; "me tell'em time"

The cowboy said; "well what time is it?"

Naked Indian looks accross at his pecker and says; "It'em about 2:54"

The cowboy pulls out his pocket watch and says; "damn, yer right on the money." and rides off.

A little while later, he noticed another dark silhouette on a nearby dune, and rode up to check it out.

At the top there was another naked Indian laying square on his back, dick standing straight in the air, and jackin' it.

The cowboy asked the naked Indian; "The Hell do you think yer doin?"

The naked Indian looked back up at the cowboy and said; "me whind'em clock"

 

[Master slacker]

Q. What's the hardest thing about eating vegetables?

A. Getting them back in the wheelchair when you're finished.

 

[Master slacker]

Did you hear about the girl that went fishing with 20 guys?

She came back with a red snapper.

 

[MA_PE]

Two guys and one girl get stranded on a desert island.

After a week goes by the girl is so ashamed of what she's been doing.....she commits suicide.

After another week goes by the guys are so ashamed of what they've been doing.....they bury her.

After another week goes by the guys are so ashamed of what they've been doing.....they dig her back up.

 

[csb]

I missed this thread!

 

[Ship Wreck PE]

Superman was on a mission, and when he flew over WonderWomans house, she was laying by the pool naked. He said I should go get some of that but I am on a mission. So a little while later he flew by and she was still naked by the pool.

He said I think I should go and tap that, so he flew down and bam! Bam! Bam! Them he flew away.

Wonder Woman jumped up and said "what the hell was that"?? And the Invisible man answered her and said " I don't know? But it sure tore my ass up"!!!!!