Corrupt a Wish!

[roadwreck]

Granted, but this is what is going to be at the top of the next page

I wish I didn't have to run 23 miles tomorrow morning.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Poof!!! You are now the woman in that pic and cant even run 0.23 miles.

I wish I was out playing golf today.

 

[knight1fox3]

Granted! But you'll be playing at Bushwood Country Club with Judge Smails.

On top of that you'll have to try and concentrate while the greens-keeper is taking care of a rodent problem.

I wish the battery on my new HTC Thunderbolt lasted longer than half a day.

 

[Wolverine]

<BLING>

Congratulations. You have a new battery with a half life of 357 years.

It's a limited edition though and a little cumbersome to wear.

I wish the accounting group in the cubicles next to me wouldn't chatter incessantly!

 

[csb]

Granted! But they are a little pissed you had the boss come after them.

I wish our 1:30 projects meeting was canceled.

 

[Master slacker]

Wish granted. They moved into your cubicle when they realized you weren't participating. DAMN!

Wish granted. Your project is deemed to be unnecessary... as is your team... as are you. You're now Occupying Wall St.

I wish 2:30 would hurry up and get here.

 

[Slugger926]

Wish granted. They moved into your cubicle when they realized you weren't participating. DAMN!

Wish granted. Your project is deemed to be unnecessary... as is your team... as are you. You're now Occupying Wall St.

I wish 2:30 would hurry up and get here.

Granted as you have been kidnapped, and on a plane in the 2:30 AM time zone to be a slave in a poppy plantation.

I wish I was going to Disney World with the family this weekend.

 

[Master slacker]

Granted. This is your family...

and this is why they're going without you...

I wish this awesome weather would last longer than just a couple of months.

 

[Supe]

Granted! Except it leads to Al Gore claiming to have solved global warming, and is elected President of the Universe.

I wish my grass would grow, despite that crappy Pennington seed not sprouting worth a damn.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Granted, unfortunately it grows so fast you lose everything you have outside and the city condemns your property.

I wish our new puppy would stop peeing on the floor and would take his business outside.

 

[Supe]

Granted. He shits on the floor instead, starts a construction business in your backyard, and a few short months later kicks you out after declaring "eminent domain."

I wish there was ice cream cake that was healthy for you.

 

[Master slacker]

Granted. You create celery ice cream. Not only did you invent it, but you're also the poster boy and you LIKE IT! Bottoms up!

I wish that my performance review this year goes really well.

 

[csb]

Granted! Only now you work at a Russian McDonald's.

I wish it was Friday!

 

[Master slacker]

With your enthusiasm... POW! Not only is today Friday, but tomorrow will be, too! In fact, every day is now Friday. So long, weekend. Hello VEEEEEERRRRRRYYYYY long work week.

I wish I didn't have to provide so much feedback for my coworkers' reviews every year.

 

[Wolverine]

<BLING>

Ask and ye shall receive!

No one is asking for your feedback anymore!

Especially now that they moved your office down to the basement and corrected that little error in Payroll Accounting.

I wish the level of douchebaggery around here tomorrow would diminish to (well) below acceptable tolerance range.

 

[Slugger926]

<BLING>

Ask and ye shall receive!

No one is asking for your feedback anymore!

Especially now that they moved your office down to the basement and corrected that little error in Payroll Accounting.

I wish the level of douchebaggery around here tomorrow would diminish to (well) below acceptable tolerance range.

Granted, you are quarantined in your place of work for the next six months due to some new virus a coworker caught after everyone has left for the day.

I wish my house to be cleaned out except for the valuables.

 

[Wolverine]

I wish my house to be cleaned out except for the valuables.

<"BLING">

Congratualations! Your house is now totally cleaned, inside and out:

I wish that this was the last post on this page so that we can honor the previous wish to never have to see the naked man on the toilet ever again.

 

[roadwreck]

Granted. Unfortunaley that guy is at the top of this page as well.

I wish EPD guidelines made more some sense.

 

[pbrme]

Granted...

In an effort to dumbdown Early Pregnancy Detection guidlines...

this one slips by, daddy never loves her, rebels and starts smoking in 5th grade...

runs escort ads in college and gett's adidded to crack...grows up to be #2 from top of page.

I wish I could own a tesla roadster.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Granted. Unfortunately you find out what happens when you hit 100 mph:

I wish I would stop finding things that need to be replaced/fixed on my Bronco (found out this morning during my drive to work in the snow that the heater doesn't work).