Bad advice to previous poster

[aog]

Sell your house and start speaking with an Australian accent.

I want to post more on EB.  Is the "Forum Banning Game" a good place to start?

 

[matt267 PE]

Yes, start buy calling @Road Guy a "dumbass."

I have a lot of house projects that need to get done this summer, what is the best way to prioritize.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Ouiji board.

Potential employer in NZ is dragging their feet with providing an official offer.  How do I get them to get it done without being too pushy?

 

[Supe]

Mick Dundee videogram to really get their attention.

Cough medicine isn't doing its job.  What to do?

 

[matt267 PE]

Jägermeister

What should I cook for dinner tonight?

 

[Supe]

Scotch Ramen.

How do I get this grease stain out of my t shirt?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Set the grease on fire. That will burn it out.

I'd like to do some tile work at the house to replace some worn carpet areas.  Should I do it myself or hire a contractor?

 

[knight1fox3]

Hire Tom Hanks to help you out.

Don't feel like driving to Ohio for a wedding. Alternatives?

 

[Ken PE 3.1]

Hitchhike through New Jersey instead.

The temperature on the hot tub is all over the place, how do I fix it?

 

[glockjacket P.E.]

Poor a thick layer of gasoline on the top of the water sans bubbles.  Once its about half evaporated/vaporized, light it off.  Gasoline burning will warm the water consistently. 

Current big work project ends at the end of the year, small boring projects after that, what should I do?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Initiate massive change orders to extend the big project.

I need to figure out how to get all my shit together so I can move to NZ by the first of June. Advice?

 

[thekzieg]

Burn all your stuff; alienate all your friends. 

How do I cure my insomnia?

 

[glockjacket P.E.]

Drink every red bull you can find, once you hit a tipping point the sugar and caffeine will put you to sleep

Have a lazy, annoying, takes credit for other's work, absentee co-worker who makes more than me. What can I to ease the constant frustration? 

 

[P-E]

Be more lazy, annoying, absent and dishonest.  You'll probably get a raise.

There's a very expensive restaurant and brew pub near my hotel while on business travel next week.  Should I go there and expense it?

 

[Ken PE 3.1]

Yes. Be sure to bring hookers and document it all with selfies to share.

Need to learn how to be a marketing guru, any advice?

 

[matt267 PE]

Remember one thing: Sex sells.

Busy weekend at home coming up and I'd rather be at work. What should I do?

 

[glockjacket P.E.]

Fake a heart attack, once the ambulance passes work, force open the back door and ride the gurney out the back of the ambulance.

Need to lose some weight but everyone in my office goes out to lunch everyday, how can I avoid being the odd man out?

 

[thekzieg]

Become bulimic.

How do I find a better job for my husband?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Tell him to show more leg when standing in front of Home Depot.

I'd like to negotiate more $ for the relocation package to NZ. Suggestions?

 

[Supe]

Tell him to show more leg when standing in front of Home Depot.

I'd like to negotiate more $ for the relocation package to NZ. Suggestions?

Emphasize that the nudist colony you're moving to has exceptionally high rental costs.

How do I keep this cough at bay until my next doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon?