--~~ Ask A Female Engineer Anything ~~--

[FLBuff PE]

[No message]

 

[csb]

damnit! Why do my prom pictures keep popping out up?

 

[Fluvial]

FL that is so old, dude.

MGX, 80% of the support is supposed to come from the chest band, not from the straps. Iif you put too much weight on the straps it is bad for the neck and back.

So the cup is supposed to be supported from below by the band. Get the band right and you won't even need straps.

That pic is more weird 'cos it looks like silver tubes are growin out of their heads.

 

[maryannette]

Well, I have made some decisions about my comfort. I'm 51 years old. I don't HAVE to have perfectly shaped ****s at the expense of my comfort. No underwires. I also gave up wearing mascara a few years ago.

 

[CivE Bricky]

okay so here is a question...
The engineering firms I have worked at normally have less women than men, and the women usually get more than their fair share of attention from the guys at work (stopping by chatting, flirting, etc)

So do you enjoy this attention or is it ,, oohh gross the old guy is hitting on me again?

I work mostly with men--but few are available and I haven't been available for a long time either. Although it rarely happens now to me, what's really annoying is when your excellent brain gets overlooked or ignored. That pushes my button vs. flirting which is usually easy to squash. You may be sitting in a group brainstorming and come up with a great insight. No one acknowledges it until some guy repeats it and suddenly its golden. I've learned to compensate by jumping in a bit and being more aggressive than I'd naturally be. I clearly request instead of suggesting etc. etc. The problem is that I sometimes find it hard to recalibrate when I'm with females.

I usually cut people slack and zero in on the intention. If an old guy makes some inappropriate joke, but routinely gives me credit for good ideas and treats me (mostly) as another engineer, I can think of him "as a product of his generation".....but I'm never going to see him as modern male that might have had potential if I wasn't married. I married a very modern man and those are the people I'm going to trust and share my true self with--someone on my wavelength that respects my interests and my sense of humor. If an attraction seems to have developed, I'll just chill out and back off and be 100% business for a while until it passes....sometimes it can be amusing or even endearing when some guy just obviously has a huge crush all of sudden...I'm not one to wear the skirt and pumps and cross my legs on the day I have to negotiate the 20K change order, but if some guy has trouble focusing on the work at hand and it's his problem, yeah, I'll push harder on my negotiation...especially if in looking at facts, I deserve to win that one.

I've developed a bit of authority over time -- lots of body language. People didn't touch my belly when I was pregnant. I use that to "encourage" others to treat me how I want to be treated.

A young really beautiful super talented engineer coworker dealt by never wearing makeup, jewelry, or dressy clothes to work -- because doing so aided people in seeing "her" -- and it mostly worked and gave her more authority and credibility with contractors and peers (although she still wanted more). It was always a shock to see her outside work when she was effortlessly drop dead gorgeous. She manipulated her looks and behavior to encourage the behavior she preferred in others.

Here's another intention story - when I was much younger, a 60ish contractor who I knew fairly well just swung his arm around my back and gave a friendly brief one arm buddy hug - it surprised me a little but then I realized he was treating me exactly as he'd treat a male in my role...it made me realize how seldom that happens.....I find I make lots of friendships and establish a comfort level, but it can sometimes take a little longer for me to have everyone comfortable than it might take a male in my role. Usually my projects are long enough that the little lag amounts to nothing in the end. It helps that I had every-hobby-there-ever-was Dad and three brothers, so I find it pretty easy to establish a rapport with men by talking hobbies.

Before I was married, I always had zillions of male friends (yeah, I know) but they treated me a real friend, regardless of how they might have changed our friendship given the opportunity. That's what I want out of male coworkers, too. No flirting at work -- but back in my single days if there was mutual interest, I was all for getting together outside of work to see what developed (as long as there wasn't an ethical issue with our business roles). Now that I'm married, I find it's lots harder to maintain male friendships outside of work...not 'cause my husband cares, but because no one does it, so it tough to get all interested parties comfortable with it and on the same page. It's just too hard - especially with my age group lacking much free time anyway.

So to sum up - if you think you're building brownie points by flirting every chance you get, you're likely wrong. If there's an attraction, either act on it by suggesting lunch, a "grab some coffee with me?" or a drink after work (ie bring it outside the office). If she says "no - I'm busy.", give it up. If she says, "I'm busy, but how's next Monday?" she's interested.

Lots of women will humor you or tolerate your flirting -- but resent it and wish you'd stop (at least at work). Again, if there's mutual interest, outside of work is another story. And if you hit it off outside work, don't bring that back in the office--continue to be professional at work - out of consideration for coworkers and your own careers if nothing else.

 

[CivE Bricky]

Here's my question for the Ask The Girls:
One day, I went for a bike ride at lunch while wearing the appropriate cycling related apparel, otherwise known as bike shorts. On my entry back into the building, I was very clearly eye-groped by the female security guard. I mean, I was looking at her, and she was looking at me, and then she was not looking at my eyes anymore.

So, I'm not saying I've ever done anything even remotely similar, but just strictly hypothetically speaking, since you ladies might have more experience, if my eyes were to accidentally flick away for just a moment within the first ten seconds of meeting you, do you notice?

Also, is there such a thing as Ick Radar? Can you telepathically sense when there is ogling going on, especially when I'm ...uh...I mean someone else is wearing sunglasses?

I'm gonna give away a few closely held woman secrets here - use the new knowledge wisely.

The one day bike shorts wearing is usually seen as a cheap play for an opportunity to show off assets. If you've got appeal, women will make note and appreciate whether they're secretly disgusted or intrigued--but you'll never get anywhere with that. If on the other hand, you wear them all the time because you're a hard core cyclist and get right to riding without touring the entire office first, you'll get respect and potentially high level interest. (Doing something for attention is either cute or pathetic -- but either way, not what you're going for. Doing something because you love it and well this is what you have to wear for that love --is hmmm...intriguing. So...it's all in how you do it.) BEWARE: b ike shorts are just a step above Speedos. You can only get away with Speedos at swim practice or during competition or by being foreign AND in a foreign country.

The security guard either:

was deliberately making a pass at you

curious

couldn't help herself

or wanted to objectify/minimize you.

I can't begin to guess which.....it's all in her facial expression, body language.

Do we notice your eye flicks? Yeah....usually and think "he's being a guy"... And you rarely lose points for that...but if it's more than a flick or you don't look at our faces or we need to repeat ourselves, we get disgusted. And if it happens routinely, we lose respect for you professionally and talk about it and you get a rep. And if you make us angry - we'll confront you directly... ("Stiff neck - should see a chiropractor for that.........<<<<<<loser>>>>>.) And for the record, we do it too -- but try to be way way more clever about it than you guys are....and convince ourselves that you NEVER catch us.

Ick Radar? Oh yeah....finely tuned. Classic is the guy in the bar who hits on 90% of the women there - going in an obvious progression along his idea of most to less attractive. They reek of sleaze or desperation and come across as super needy -- which repels women. Don't be that guy. If he gets a woman, it's someone worse off than he is.

They are very very different from the classic bad boy/"gas station attendant". That's all about charisma/true confidence - every woman in the place will be (discretely) noticing this guy and well "taking him in"....perhaps not one will talk to him, but we're all on it. Sometimes he's too out there to consider(too dangerous, too bad, too scruffy/dirty, too something), but other times he's a realistic choice. Next time you're in a bar, ask who the women are noticing.......it's fun! "Ya know, women on this message board told me there's always a few guys all the women are very discretely noticing - I don't buy it -- did my leg get pulled?"

One of the funnest conversations I ever had was with a few girlfriends on the steps of the National Art Gallery. We sat there for an hour or two talking about what was sexy for us (looks and behavior). There wasn't complete consensus, but there was an awful lot. This kinda cute guy who looked like he'd use the knowledge wisely was listening in the entire time and thought we didn't know....he made our conversation more fun and we didn't steer him wrong.

Sunglasses? Outdoors, they give you a little cover, but we notice head tilt and such - you gotta be good to avoid suspicion. Indoors? You're so caught, it isn't funny---drunk, drugged, oogling or all of the above.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

MGX, 80% of the support is supposed to come from the chest band, not from the straps. Iif you put too much weight on the straps it is bad for the neck and back.
So the cup is supposed to be supported from below by the band. Get the band right and you won't even need straps.

Tube top?

 

[Supe]

I say just use a big foam insert for breast support. Sort of like those toe separators you gals use when painting your toenails.

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Precast concrete retaining wall with #4 bars 12" O.C., each side.

 

[frazil]

Here's my question for the Ask The Girls:
One day, I went for a bike ride at lunch while wearing the appropriate cycling related apparel, otherwise known as bike shorts. On my entry back into the building, I was very clearly eye-groped by the female security guard. I mean, I was looking at her, and she was looking at me, and then she was not looking at my eyes anymore.

So, I'm not saying I've ever done anything even remotely similar, but just strictly hypothetically speaking, since you ladies might have more experience, if my eyes were to accidentally flick away for just a moment within the first ten seconds of meeting you, do you notice?

Also, is there such a thing as Ick Radar? Can you telepathically sense when there is ogling going on, especially when I'm ...uh...I mean someone else is wearing sunglasses?

 

[csb]

Precast concrete retaining wall with #4 bars 12" O.C., each side.

I can't wait to see the commercial for that on tv

 

[Road Guy]

& just to clarify my question, the old creepy guy flirting is not me (just something I witnessed... a lot)

I used to work in a mini-cube farm and was the only guy in my section, I was borrowing a cube in the water resources area which happened to be all chics, I mean women (just kidding) one of them got so tired of it she taped a sign to the back of her chair that said "only necessary interuptions please!" or something similar, it was pretty funny....

 

[CivE Bricky]

& just to clarify my question, the old creepy guy flirting is not me

I'd never dream of making that assumption (cough, cough)

 

[Wolverine]

The security guard either:was deliberately making a pass at you

curious

couldn't help herself

or wanted to objectify/minimize you.

I can't begin to guess which.....it's all in her facial expression, body language.

I can't say that I'd never be interested in a 250#, six foot two, African-American-Amazon woman, filling out a size 6 uniform with only a little bit spilling out over the sides, I'm just saying it wasn't on my radar at the time. But never say never. I was quite flattered.

 

[maryannette]

250 lbs in a size 6? Sounds like a sausage stuffing.

 

[Fluvial]

I don't know how a six-foot two would be a size 6 either, unless they were stick-thin. Perhaps he meant size 16?

 

[Guest]

Well ladies, I discovered something new. I took FMJR with me to an outlet mall yesterday. After going through a few stores, she wanted to stop at the L'eggs, Haines, Bali, Playtex store - apparently this store was set-up for women's undergarments. This time I entered without intrepidation!!

Well, it turns out that FMJR was having issues with her existing undergarments - they had reached the end of their service life. She looked around a bit, but eventually said, okay, let's go. Now .. yes, I tend to be dense ... but I figured there is something I am missing, so I asked. After some prying, she told me about the undergarment dilemma (spelled correctly) but didn't want to "spend that much money" on undergarments. I guess she was a bit sheepish spending 'my' money on her undergarments.

I got a pretty good laugh ... and I told her to buy what she thought was necessary. When she came up with her number ... I multiplied by two since I figured she was fudging. That made her happy.

I'd never dream of making that assumption (cough, cough)

QFTW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JR

 

[CivE Bricky]

This time I entered without intrepidation!! That made her happy.

Fast learner, JR -I'm so proud. Nice job!

 

[Capt Worley PE]

Do L'Eggs still come in thos plastic eggs? I didn't even know they were around any more.

 

[Guest]

Do L'Eggs still come in thos plastic eggs? I didn't even know they were around any more.

Nope - these hose in this store were all in plastic wrap; no eggs. I remember the eggs too. ldtimer:

JR