April 2019 15k SPAM Thread

[JayKay PE]

As a millennial, I was terrified when Vanguard said that I'm slightly off-track.  They needed to reassure me that 'slightly off-track' is extremely good for my age/portfolio, but I still don't believe them.

 

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

I had a retirement cake today.

I've still got 30 years to go tho...

Are you sure it didn’t say, “congrats on being tired?”

 

[preeb]

Are you sure it didn’t say, “congrats on being tired?”

I'd be 90% cake if I had one every time I was tired.

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Nah, it was for two people who are retiring next week. 

 

[JayKay PE]

I'd be 90% cake if I had one every time I was tired.

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Nah, it was for two people who are retiring next week. 

Was it a 're-tired' cake.  You know, the cake you eat after you've woken up and you're 're-tired' and you need more sleep?

 

[23and1]

Slime

 

[Master slacker]

sdfvszfdgsdfghdjfkiyukluti

 

[23and1]

Was it a 're-tired' cake.  You know, the cake you eat after you've woken up and you're 're-tired' and you need more sleep?

Don't know if it was, but now I want some...

'Cause I'm tired

 

[akwooly]

up in here

 

[23and1]

down in there

 

[JayKay PE]

Sometimes, I wish I was friends with Flavor Flav.

 

[23and1]

Clockwork Wok Clerk

 

[preeb]

Spammy McSpamface

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

As a millennial, I was terrified when Vanguard said that I'm slightly off-track.  They needed to reassure me that 'slightly off-track' is extremely good for my age/portfolio, but I still don't believe them.

As an elder millennial, my retirement plan is growing in my backyard.

Only kidding, nothing out there but the entirely wrong kinds of weeds: goatheads, stupid blackberry bushes (die!), and thistle.

 

[23and1]

As an elder millennial, my retirement plan is growing in my backyard.

Only kidding, nothing out there but the entirely wrong kinds of weeds: goatheads, stupid blackberry bushes (die!), and thistle.

Are the blackberries good?

 

[preeb]

As a millenial, I don't know what my next financial goal is. I may be having a quarter-life/mid-life crisis. 

 

[adavi248]

As a millenial, ive spent my entire retirement on avocado toast.

 

[23and1]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...avocado toast!

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

Are the blackberries good?

Fruit: good.

Actual fruit bush with thorns: Evil.

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

For those who don't know, blackberries are pretty hard to get rid of and when they take over, they mean business.

 

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

Sometimes, I wish I was friends with Flavor Flav.

Flavor town?