Corrupt a Wish!

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*BAM* your wish is my command... but while at the lot trading in your Fix Or Repair Daily, you're indecisive and consider showing off the new Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything but common, putting snow chains on them isn't trendy. The Just Empty Every Pocket aisle beckons but you walk stoic. Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques is not the answer but you'd rather be in one than in an Old Lady Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Insanely Late Everyday. In the end you settle for Another Ugly Deutsche Invention.

I wish I didn't eat those cajun rice and beans

 
Granted!! Instead you found what looked to be a very nice plate of leftovers only to discover halfway through eating it that it belonged to your easily angered and over-reacting boss who's currently working on the company "realignment" plan...

I wish I had admin rights to delete the three inserted pics at the top of this page.

 
* POOF * Wish granted. You hacked the accounts of Road Guy and VT and find the secret password. You erased the pics and then called RG and VT some not so nice names. Children cry, women weep, and dogs howl. They both find out, ban you (who'd a thunk?), and permanently reattach the pics to the original posts. All is right again with the world.

I wish I didn't have to rely so much on coffee in the morning.

 
(One of my all time favorite threads)

*POOF* WIsh granted, you can now look forward to each morning getting started with choclately delight!!

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I wish these damn leaves would clean themselves up!!

JR

 
*BAHLING* Wish granted, the leaves file together like a choreographed scene from Fantasia, but while maintenancing your leaf vac you overlooked some fine print.

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I wish I had a massage.

 
*BAHLING* Wish granted, the leaves file together like a choreographed scene from Fantasia, but while maintenancing your leaf vac you overlooked some fine print.

I wish I had a message.
<BLING!>

Here you go.

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Genie even put it in a bottle for you.

I wish I had a tiny pianist that I could carry around in my pants pocket to play music for me whenever I liked.

 
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Granted.

Unfortunately, the genie mis-understood you and instead gave you a tiny penis and put holes in all your front pockets...

I wish I had a set of bolt-cutters so I can cut the lock off my circuitbreaker box and reset the CB that controls my kitchen lighting.

 
Granted.

Unfortunately, the lock and entire box was electrified by the blown circuit giving you the ride of your life. Your life has been reset...

I wish that the neighbors would get control over their 13+ dogs and keep them from howling all night...

 
Granted,

Zombie Indians raise from neighbor's backyard as you play "native death" at that night's Magic the Gathering game.

Culdisac nerds turn in unison from the garage's makeshift tourney table to side yard window as carnage is released.

blybrook PE, a level 14 undead, is humbled as an onslaught of nerd revenge approaches.

I wish i was a little bit taller.

 
And it has become so:

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Sorry now you're a giraffe.

I wish I could find a non-psycho girlfriend.

 
<BZRING!>

Granted.

Only problem is... to find one non-psycho, you have to go off-planet.

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I wish I could have an awesome 4.5 days of high productivity and accomplishment before checking out of here mid-day on Friday.

 
<BAMMM>

Your wish came true, but while off-planet, mudpuppy discovers a vortex which, makes, time travel, possible.

Your week ends in the previous week and you rinse and repeat.

I wish I could get a nice fatty xmas bonus this year.

 
Ba-ZOW! Wish granted. You worked hard for it. Enjoy!

I wish tracking our purchase order history weren't such a fuster-cluck.
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Granted! There is a new AI and software development firm in town that promises fast results and little or no hassle. In addition they've offered a much easier method to track purchase orders within your company.

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I wish my first grad school class wasn't an advanced engineering mathematics course.

 
Granted. Unfortunately It has been changed to underwater basket weaving and you don't know how to swim...

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I wish the snow would let-off long enough to let me finish my backyard fence.

 
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Granted, however it is now tornado season...

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You're entire fence and home is gone. You need to relocate to a safer location and restart from scratch...

I wish it was between -40 and -20 degrees F again...

 
Granted!!!

And you just got frostbite on your you-know-what and will never be able to use it again.

I wish I had a private jet.

 
Congrats, you are now rppearso and will forever be mocked on eb.com

I wish I knew what our 2012 raises will be.

 
Congrats, you get a sneak peek from the I.T. guy as he's updating your Java.

Your jelly of the month club membership will be the gift that gives. all. year. long.

I wish I had unlimited wishes.

 
<BBBLLLNNNGGGG!!!!!!>

Why of course your wish is granted.

But you are stuck in the Corrupt-A-Wish thread.

Go ahead, wish away.

PS: Here's your Genie... and yes, she likes to mess with you for her own amusement

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I wish Barbara Eden (c1968) were my genie (see how I pre-empted trouble there?)

 
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