Bad advice to previous poster

[glockjacket P.E.]

Hard liquor.  Skip the weak Nyquil stuff and go straight for the main ingredient, hard liquor.

Vice President of my dept is here right now, how do I impress him without actually doing anything impressive?

 

[Ken PE 3.1]

Hard liquor.  Skip the weak Nyquil stuff and go straight for the main ingredient, hard liquor.

Vice President of my dept is here right now, how do I impress him without actually doing anything impressive?

Drop a deuce on his desk.

Is a masters in engineering management worth the cost?

 

[glockjacket P.E.]

NO! Just tell everyone you have a PhD and if anytone questions you just show them your post hole digger

Too tired not to wake up early and go to the gym. Too fat not to. What should I do?

 

[P-E]

bring a large raft into the pool and take a nap

Not much food in the house, what should I have for breakfast tomorrow?

 

[glockjacket P.E.]

Just skip breakfast by intentionally oversleeping.

Trying to figure out where to go for a honeymoon in December, any suggestions?

 

[matt267 PE]

Divorce court

Should I fertilize the lawn this weekend?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

You should fertilize it everyday.

GIFSoup

We have an open house scheduled for tomorrow and can't be home during it. What should I take the family out to do?

 

[matt267 PE]

Hide in the bushed and watch strange people walk in and out of your house.

I got razor burn on my neck while shaving this morning. What should I do?

 

[Sarah Guppy]

Spray deodorant on it.

I have a condescending coworker. What should I do?

 

[SE_FL]

Sweeten his coffee with a small amount of fresh, warm urine.

We've got three kids under the age of 6 and I'm trying to make partner at my firm. Should we hold off on more kids for now?

 

[einatlanta PhD PE]

Sell em' to the highest bidder. That should free up your time.

How do I keep from falling asleep today?

 

[matt267 PE]

Cocaine!!!

Should I attend the annual banquet for the local NSPE chapter?

 

[Ken PE 3.1]

Yes but only if it is part of an organized protest for engineering 'safe-spaces'. Getting yelled at all the time hurts ones feelings.

I need motivation to finish my job or do I just mail it in?

 

[thekzieg]

Take a bad fall down some stairs and ride out the sick-leave.

Should I spend 2k on a week long cruise or save the money for something responsible?

 

[matt267 PE]

Save it for something responsible. Like a hooker named "Candy."

How should I encourage my daughter for her soccer game tonight.

 

[thekzieg]

"Pull her hair, honey!" "Knock her to the ground!" "It's not a foul if the ref doesn't call it!"

Should I call in sick tomorrow so I can spend time with the in-laws?

 

[einatlanta PhD PE]

Nah, just bring them to work with you and let them stand in your office for ten hours (definitely keep them hidden though).

Should I sell my house and get a boat to sail to key largo?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Definitely get the sail boat, but be sure to detour through the Bermuda Triangle during hurricane season.

Should I work the remaining 3 weeks before my resignation date, or just burn off all my PTO and stay home?

 

[einatlanta PhD PE]

Of course neither! You should borrow the boat I just bought and head for the bermuda triangle (luckily big storms are starting to pop up around there).

What is the best way to start a conversation with a gorgeous woman at a bar?

 

[P-E]

Hey there, I'm a PE.

I need a shed for the back yard.  Which should I get?