Women's Room - come talk
- Thread starter CivE Bricky
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Help Support Professional Engineer & PE Exam Forum:
Capt Worley PE
Run silent, run deep
I love message boards. They are a fantastic source of information. During a quest to find out how to kill bahaia while encouraging centipede growth, I stumbled across a message board for people who ran lawn care business.
The striations are known as 'stripes' in the lawncare biz, and those who are good at making them are quite proud of it. They post pictures and techniques. I'd post the message board, but I changed computers since the last time I used it, and lost the addy.
You probably didn't want to go there...
wilheldp_PE
PE, LEED AP, SPAM KING
RIP - VTEnviro
His Memory Eternal
What about the best product for polishing a wood floor?
It really depends on the state of your floor. Old vs. new, polyurethane, general cleaning vs actual polish, etc.
Fluvial
The Ditch Witch
My mom (who was born in 1928) told me that when she went off to college, she was shocked to find out (via the communal bathrooms) how many girls dyed their hair. I got the impression that it was considered a bit scandalous back in the day.
snickerd3
Taking suggestions
My grandma was one of the those scandalous girls, dyed her hair, smoked cigarettes, and drank beer with the boys.
Fluvial
The Ditch Witch
^^ I don't think it took Mom too long to join their ranks. 
Capt Worley PE
Run silent, run deep
easily corrupted, huh?
Fluvial
The Ditch Witch
She was just a fun-lovin' gal, what can I say.
maryannette
Wise One
My mom was born in 1929 and I've seen pictures. Oh, MY!!!
G
Guest
Personally, I think that's awesome. FMJR and I have talked A LOT about this, and if we have children, that is certainly something we both want to encourage: exposure to lots of different things; especially different cultures. We both strongly feel that helps in developing a better sense of who you are and a healthy respect of those around you.
Truer words were never said ...
Interestingly, I read an article recently about the CA budget crisis - it started off with single mother, 19 yrs old, will lose education support and child daycare funds and proceeded to paint a picture of bleakness on an apocalyptic scale. I often get frustrated because we come from all different walks of life and the struggle to define who we are and what we want in life. That struggle, IMHO, is critical to defintion and whether you stay at home to be a mother or go to trade school, college, or whatever you chose to do - it's your life to do it. Our country is awesome that it affords you the ability to have choices - not gurantee your successes.
I digressed momentarily, but my point here is that you are right - many different things factor into how one would chose to raise their children and there is no one right way of doing it.
I agree that a partner who is willing to pick up the slack and is committed to giving their best effort at all times is not only critical to a happy marriage, but also for raising children.
Interesting, when I was with ex-Mrs. JR, I did most of the cooking because she was working all kinds of crazy hours as the Supreme Allied Commander of Nurses for her faciity. The responsibility for cooking came down on my squarely as well, because she her son was still a minor and her elderly mother was living with us as well. At first I didn't mind it because it was one of the first times in our marriage that I had some discretion with grocery shopping and meal choices. That quickly eroded when everyone realized I could cook as well as ex-Mrs. JR and didn't seem to mind it then I had all sorts of 'requests' foisted upon me and it became a chore. Especially after being the primary responsible party after a year or two.
However, don't take that as a gripe on my part - I learned MANY things from that period of my life. I am very grateful for what I have now, especially in FMJR.
What I see is someone who is willing to be a partner in the responsibilities you both share. I don't consider that emo ... I consider that to be equitable and balanced ... and if anything healthy as both of you are happy with how things are working.
Right now FMJR has been at home, not working. She's been volunteering at a hospital, considering additional/alternate education, but she is very considerate about doing everything ... cooking, cleaning, laundry, ... she's very doting. More so than ex-Mrs. JR. Sometimes I feel guilty because I am not reciprocating in the same way but I realize that FMJR is happy to do the things she does for me. Part of it is my mind set of expectation vs. doing because you want to and I know that is something I still need to break-out from my old mindset.
How's that for emo?
My great grandmother was apparently very scandalous! She left her playboy husband with four children in tote - settled in south florida. When she went to re-marry, she told the guy her daughters were her little sisters, so she could still go out freely without the social stigma attached.
My grandmother was quite crazy too - her official political voter registration was communist, she was a self-professed wiccan, and actively smoked pot until her dying day.
Apparenlty, I am the boring one in the family.
JR
Now that has the sounds of a healthy relationship! I'm searious!
And you deserve it JR!
Speaking of Grandma's..... I am the only buy grandchild on my Mom's side. My Grandma used to spoil me rotten. :cheeburga:
Oh and my Grandma DID NOT dye her hair, get tattoos, or go out drinking with the guys. She was a good girl!!
maryannette
Wise One
Is that the definition of a good girl? I have a very cool story to tell and I will maybe later today when I can take time.
Fluvial
The Ditch Witch
^^ Looking forward to it Mary.
G
Guest
maryannette
Wise One
Years ago, I worked for a German company doing product design. I enjoyed my work and did well in that job. It had its ups and downs. I was not well-accepted as an engineer by most of the Germans. The German language did not even have a proper word for a female engineer. German language uses gender and the word for engineer was only used to refer to men. I learned this when I was taking German language classes provided by the company.
During that time, I had the worst boss in my career followed by the best boss in my career. Both were German men. I won't dwell on the worst one now. That is another story. I'll just say that I survived until he went back to Germany.
The good boss liked me, respected me, and realized that it wasn't always easy for me. He never cut me any slack, but was a very good people manager and I appreciated that.
The industry I worked in used trade shows to introduce products. There were 2 very prestigious, "gotta-go-to" shows - one in Chicago and one in Germany. Only the fair-haired-boys got to go to the one in Germany. My favorite boss decided that I should be allowed to go to the trade show. Other engineers who had done work like me had been to that trade show and he wanted to be fair. He had asked permission to allow me to go, but the power-bosses in Germany said no. Well, that didn't stop him. He set up a needed technical trip to consult with a specialist in Germany and bought my tickets. He got in trouble for it, but I went.
It was a unique trip. I was travelling alone and knew very little German. I got to the motel on my own. I got to the offices on my own. The tradeshow day was most interesting. Two young engineers who spoke English picked me up at the motel and took me with them. We had to ride a train to the tradeshow - it was about a 2-hour trip. We got to the show and split up and walked the show for a few hours. We met back late in the afternoon. It was a tradition to walk to a local tavern and drink beers, then travel back home. I went into this old-time German bar with a group of about 15 German men. They ranged in age from 20's to 50's. I know I was the first female ever to be included in that trade show tradition. We drank beer. There were a couple plates of appetizers. They mostly spoke German, so I didn't know all of what they said. But, I knew they were acknowledging me as unique. I'll never forget that time when I shared a couple of beers with a bunch of German engineers. If they were not nice to me, I couldn't tell because of the language barrier. And I didn't care. Some of them actually acknowledged that I had done something special and congratulated me.
During that time, I had the worst boss in my career followed by the best boss in my career. Both were German men. I won't dwell on the worst one now. That is another story. I'll just say that I survived until he went back to Germany.
The good boss liked me, respected me, and realized that it wasn't always easy for me. He never cut me any slack, but was a very good people manager and I appreciated that.
The industry I worked in used trade shows to introduce products. There were 2 very prestigious, "gotta-go-to" shows - one in Chicago and one in Germany. Only the fair-haired-boys got to go to the one in Germany. My favorite boss decided that I should be allowed to go to the trade show. Other engineers who had done work like me had been to that trade show and he wanted to be fair. He had asked permission to allow me to go, but the power-bosses in Germany said no. Well, that didn't stop him. He set up a needed technical trip to consult with a specialist in Germany and bought my tickets. He got in trouble for it, but I went.
It was a unique trip. I was travelling alone and knew very little German. I got to the motel on my own. I got to the offices on my own. The tradeshow day was most interesting. Two young engineers who spoke English picked me up at the motel and took me with them. We had to ride a train to the tradeshow - it was about a 2-hour trip. We got to the show and split up and walked the show for a few hours. We met back late in the afternoon. It was a tradition to walk to a local tavern and drink beers, then travel back home. I went into this old-time German bar with a group of about 15 German men. They ranged in age from 20's to 50's. I know I was the first female ever to be included in that trade show tradition. We drank beer. There were a couple plates of appetizers. They mostly spoke German, so I didn't know all of what they said. But, I knew they were acknowledging me as unique. I'll never forget that time when I shared a couple of beers with a bunch of German engineers. If they were not nice to me, I couldn't tell because of the language barrier. And I didn't care. Some of them actually acknowledged that I had done something special and congratulated me.
Fluvial
The Ditch Witch
Now *that* is one to tell the grandkids. Very cool, Mary. Very cool.
engineergurl
Resident Sweet Cheeks
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hmmm.... I guess there are lots of definitions of good girls... I think everyone is just happy that my tattoo is somplace that is covered by clothing, that my hair dye is no longer green coolaid like it used to be, that I am constantly trying to quit smoking and when I drink with the boys these days, I am usually accompanied by my husband.
To catch up on the conversations- I got into engineering because I hated forestry (that would be the short version)
Our house chores and stuff usually isn't divided evenly... but I think we have reasons for that. I have major ocd and have to do most of everything myself to be happy, additionally, when the hubby deploys, it's easier if your already doing all the work and keeping track of everything yourself because then I don't need to figure out any additional responsibilites. He helps me when I ask and has recently been pitching in a lot more with stuff like the laundry and animals becuase of everything that I had going on. I usually do most of the cooking on Sunday and the meals are planned out on the side of the fridge so that he can heat up the right item if he gets home first. We don't have any kids so that makes our house different from a lot of other people our age... I do get frustrated with how things work when he asks me if I've taken care of something, and often hearing myself saying to my husband "it's not like I'm sitting on my @ss eating bonbons all day" (I'm still working on the bitterness of this last move and having to leave someplace where I was feeling successful in my life in so many ways to start over at doing stuff that I hate, can you tell?)
Awesome story Mary- no matter what rewards you get, the feeling of acceptance is always the best, and paves the way for future women to follow.
