Wedding gift spat spirals out of control after bride demands to see receipt

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My return text would be "GFY." then I'd delete the bride's number off my phone. Like others have said, a wedding isn't an investment opportunity. It's usually a very expensive party thrown so your friends can come see an important moment in your life. If you're bitching because you gift wasn't "good enough," then you really need to re-assess your priorities.

 
She says it cost $34,000 to host 210 guests at a local wedding hall. Mason was one of only two guests who didn’t gift at least $150 cash (the other gave a present in addition to cash)

me thinks me see the problem.....but nothing really surprises me anymore..

 
Is that envelope expectency just a New York City phenonmenon? That's what I was brought up with. We did't go to weddings unless it was someone pretty special to us because we didn't want to just feed the downpayment account for a couple that we hardly knew.

 
I've never been a big ceremonies guy. I went to as few weddings as possible. Glad those days are behind me.

I did know a girl that had a $20K rehearsal dinner.

 
Typical Serbian wedding is in the 300 to 400 guest range. Ours was around 125. It was pretty funny listening to the two "groups" afterward. The Serbs (Wife's family and friends) all loved it because it was such a small wedding. My friends and family thought it was a huge production. I figured the price of the reception was a sunk cost and was actually surprised that it wound up being largely subsidized by the monetary gifts.

 
the $ gift is more of a european thing I think. larger cities with huge immigrant populations, NY - Chicago My mom's family is all polish and it is ALWAYS a cash gift and at least $50 per person attending...the closer the fam the higher the $ amount. but that is why we don't invite casual acquantances to shindigs....hell once you get past second cousins they don't get invites to weddings. baby stuff and funerals yea.

My dad's family which has been americanized a lot longer can go either way gifts or money but it wouldn't be as much.

 
some of my older relatives wait until after they see the reception hall/food and if the drinks are free before they seal the envelope....i've seen it at cousin's weddings. The nicer the party the more they contribute...

 
Flyer_PE said:
Typical Serbian wedding is in the 300 to 400 guest range. Ours was around 125. It was pretty funny listening to the two "groups" afterward. The Serbs (Wife's family and friends) all loved it because it was such a small wedding. My friends and family thought it was a huge production. I figured the price of the reception was a sunk cost and was actually surprised that it wound up being largely subsidized by the monetary gifts.
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this but change to polish

 
Polish-German Catholic wedding here. Lotsa beer. lotsa dancing. mostly family (~325 attended) . The meal was good but very simple (chicken, mashed potatos, dressing and some veggies) We got a mix of money, cheesy gifts, and a couple really nice gifts where some of the family members went in on it together. Opened gifts the next morning, stuffed the cash in our pockets and were off on a road trip for the honeymoon. :dancingnaughty:

Didn't work out how much it cost us until after we got back and didn't really care. (It turned out that we about broke even but the in-laws helped with the meal and mom and dad bought the beer)

If people didn't have a good time it was their own fault.

 
we got married young and poor, we got towels, toasters, plates, forks, kitchen shit, bathroom shit, etc, and we were damn happy to get it, we received very little cash.. we wrote thank you cards after the honey moon, maybe that's just a southern thing...

I still laugh when I go to a typical modern wedding where the bride and groom are already well into their careers, make good money, most of the times one of them already owns a house, and then listen to some preacher talk about how difficult it is to "start out" in a marriage.. what I remember the difficult part was being on the "roman noodles every night for dinner cause you HAD to...."

 
Road Guy said:
we got married young and poor, we got towels, toasters, plates, forks, kitchen shit, bathroom shit, etc, and we were damn happy to get it, we received very little cash.. we wrote thank you cards after the honey moon, maybe that's just a southern thing...

I still laugh when I go to a typical modern wedding where the bride and groom are already well into their careers, make good money, most of the times one of them already owns a house, and then listen to some preacher talk about how difficult it is to "start out" in a marriage.. what I remember the difficult part was being on the "roman noodles every night for dinner cause you HAD to...."
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Thank you cards are not a just a southern thing...OMG in my family if you don't send thank yous in a reasonable amount of time you are labeled an ungrateful little putz and it will be remembered the next time you have a major life event.

 
snickerd3 said:
Road Guy said:
we got married young and poor, we got towels, toasters, plates, forks, kitchen shit, bathroom shit, etc, and we were damn happy to get it, we received very little cash.. we wrote thank you cards after the honey moon, maybe that's just a southern thing...

I still laugh when I go to a typical modern wedding where the bride and groom are already well into their careers, make good money, most of the times one of them already owns a house, and then listen to some preacher talk about how difficult it is to "start out" in a marriage.. what I remember the difficult part was being on the "roman noodles every night for dinner cause you HAD to...."
Click to expand...
Thank you cards are not a just a southern thing...OMG in my family if you don't send thank yous in a reasonable amount of time you are labeled an ungrateful little putz and it will be remembered the next time you have a major life event.
Click to expand...
Same here for both my family and the wife's.

 
^ and it better not be a generic thanks for the gift either. they included how great it was to see them again and I had to be sure to note what they gave and what we were going to use it for.

I.e. gifts of money were going to be used to buy a washer and dryer so we didn't have to go to the laundry mat anymore.

we will enjoy making stir fry in the new wok etc...

 
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Road Guy said:
we got married young and poor, we got towels, toasters, plates, forks, kitchen shit, bathroom shit, etc, and we were damn happy to get it, we received very little cash.. we wrote thank you cards after the honey moon, maybe that's just a southern thing...
Click to expand...
This.

 

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