What I’ve learned about the NCEES grading process from Engineeringboards.com
Somebody, knows somebody, who knows when the test results will come out. This person consulted a Magic 8 ball that reportedly came from the desk of NCEES employee who formerly worked at Area 51 where they use a new alien technology to process test results and is rumored to go by the name SCANTRON.
Sometimes the SCANTRON patterns look like this < or like this > or like this / or this \. When doubt, you can also use a secret word that magically makes your test answer correct, that language is ABACADABA!
Even though this technology has a maximum rated capacity of 15,000 sheets graded per hour, it is infinitely more complicated than you could ever think.
Each time they use this new alien technology they must decipher the coded language which is written in an invisible ink. This invisible ink reveals itself on a fragile scroll of paper only, and I repeat, ONLY after 8 to 10 weeks from when the test is given. No exceptions.
Unfortunately, there is absolutely no way to know the passing score and it changes from test to test. The results are only given in two words, PASS or FAIL. You will never know the exact results of the test even though you spent months or years of your life preparing and probably spent a thousand dollars or more in references and code books. The only thing you will receive for your trouble is a free NCEES pencil (Retail Value: $265).
If you call NCEES directly to ask whether or not results will be out before Christmas, you have the choice of taking a red pill or a blue pill. The pill actually has nothing to do with the test results, however, it will tell you whether you are expecting a boy or a girl.
No other information is available from NCEES between when a test is given and when the results are released. Any phone calls to NCEES during this period are answered by a recording that says, “Results are typically released 8 to 10 weeks after the test”.
Occasionally, NCEES will post meaningless updates about things they are considering to do 2 to 3 years into the future, or to let you know they are going to take the day off. Evidently, they are exploring the use of computers in the testing.
However, the real problem is figuring out how to build a computer with today’s technology, while limiting the capability of the computer to that of a TI-30X Solar Calculator. The aliens are baffled. They have resorted to using an umbrella, aluminum foil, a circular saw blade, record player, some string, the wind in a nearby forest and a Speak and Spell. It seems to be working . . . for now.
Investigations of the NCEES process have been conducted and vaguely presented on a National Geographic special where people get within 100 yards of the NCEES compound before being shooed away by an off-duty Sheriff with a Smokey the Bear hat and a black t-shirt that says “TEST SECURITY” in plain white lettering. Although garbled in the tape, it is believed he says, “Remain in your veee-hick-L” before pulling out a package of Twizzlers and those little popper things that people throw on the 4th of July. After that, the camera is shut off and we do not know what happens.
Regardless, this test grading methodology leaves testees frustrated and PE-ness-less until the technology is deciphered and results are released. As you can imagine, when there are 40,000 people looking for their PE-ness, it can be quite the disturbance to society and productivity. These individuals were last seen doing trance like choreographed dance moves to a Michael Jackson song. The dance moves include repeatedly grabbing ones groin area, a move that is reminiscent of someone obsessively checking for their PE-ness.
It is rumored that these people communicate through a unique internet commune called Engineerboards.com. No one can figure out why these people spend so much time on this website, or what they are talking about. Friends, family and coworkers have filed several missing person reports. None of the reported missing have been found because they do not go by real names, but self appointed call signs to protect their true identity.
Somebody, knows somebody, who knows when the test results will come out. This person consulted a Magic 8 ball that reportedly came from the desk of NCEES employee who formerly worked at Area 51 where they use a new alien technology to process test results and is rumored to go by the name SCANTRON.
Sometimes the SCANTRON patterns look like this < or like this > or like this / or this \. When doubt, you can also use a secret word that magically makes your test answer correct, that language is ABACADABA!
Even though this technology has a maximum rated capacity of 15,000 sheets graded per hour, it is infinitely more complicated than you could ever think.
Each time they use this new alien technology they must decipher the coded language which is written in an invisible ink. This invisible ink reveals itself on a fragile scroll of paper only, and I repeat, ONLY after 8 to 10 weeks from when the test is given. No exceptions.
Unfortunately, there is absolutely no way to know the passing score and it changes from test to test. The results are only given in two words, PASS or FAIL. You will never know the exact results of the test even though you spent months or years of your life preparing and probably spent a thousand dollars or more in references and code books. The only thing you will receive for your trouble is a free NCEES pencil (Retail Value: $265).
If you call NCEES directly to ask whether or not results will be out before Christmas, you have the choice of taking a red pill or a blue pill. The pill actually has nothing to do with the test results, however, it will tell you whether you are expecting a boy or a girl.
No other information is available from NCEES between when a test is given and when the results are released. Any phone calls to NCEES during this period are answered by a recording that says, “Results are typically released 8 to 10 weeks after the test”.
Occasionally, NCEES will post meaningless updates about things they are considering to do 2 to 3 years into the future, or to let you know they are going to take the day off. Evidently, they are exploring the use of computers in the testing.
However, the real problem is figuring out how to build a computer with today’s technology, while limiting the capability of the computer to that of a TI-30X Solar Calculator. The aliens are baffled. They have resorted to using an umbrella, aluminum foil, a circular saw blade, record player, some string, the wind in a nearby forest and a Speak and Spell. It seems to be working . . . for now.
Investigations of the NCEES process have been conducted and vaguely presented on a National Geographic special where people get within 100 yards of the NCEES compound before being shooed away by an off-duty Sheriff with a Smokey the Bear hat and a black t-shirt that says “TEST SECURITY” in plain white lettering. Although garbled in the tape, it is believed he says, “Remain in your veee-hick-L” before pulling out a package of Twizzlers and those little popper things that people throw on the 4th of July. After that, the camera is shut off and we do not know what happens.
Regardless, this test grading methodology leaves testees frustrated and PE-ness-less until the technology is deciphered and results are released. As you can imagine, when there are 40,000 people looking for their PE-ness, it can be quite the disturbance to society and productivity. These individuals were last seen doing trance like choreographed dance moves to a Michael Jackson song. The dance moves include repeatedly grabbing ones groin area, a move that is reminiscent of someone obsessively checking for their PE-ness.
It is rumored that these people communicate through a unique internet commune called Engineerboards.com. No one can figure out why these people spend so much time on this website, or what they are talking about. Friends, family and coworkers have filed several missing person reports. None of the reported missing have been found because they do not go by real names, but self appointed call signs to protect their true identity.
