Yay, I have brakes again!!!
To be perfectly honest, I probably shouldn't have even been driving the truck. The front brakes were shot...obviously metal-on-metal...but my new rotors and pads took a little longer to get here than I thought. I had them delivered to my mom's house since she has a little more room in her garage to work. Stopped at a traffic light on the way there, but when I hit the brakes, the pedal kept going and going. Fortunately her house was all uphill from where I was, so with the help of engine braking and gravity I was able to get it there.
I had gotten new sport rotors, i.e. slotted and dimpled *bling*, and pads from EBC and also picked up some new calipers from Advance Auto Parts just in case I needed them. I really wish I had gotten a picture of the passenger side caliper before I boxed it up to return for my core exchange. The pads were beyond gone and the rotor was shredded. One of the pistons had been pushed out so far that it came out of the cylinder...that would explain the loss of pressure and that dragging I heard/felt. Everything got replaced with minimal hassles and I was on my way home after a few hours with a very spongy brake pedal, but at least I had brakes. The next day I bled everything since I could do that in the driveway. Heck, Mopar was nice enough to design the rear so you don't even have to take the wheels off. The front passenger side had so much air in the line that I kept loosening the screw because I wasn't getting any fluid. Few pedal pumps later, all is right with the world again and I can stop on a dime.