The Adventures of Engineering P.I.

[snickerd3]

Meanwhile, back downstairs Dexman rubs his back as he walks, actually more like waddles, back to the office with a gorwing look of concern. He grabs his cell phone from his locker and calls Chucktown, but it goes straight to voicemail.

"Chuck it's Dex, I think we have a problem."

 

[snickerd3]

The three of us were looking through the building as-builts when all of a sudden my gut didn't feel so good. I tried to leave the room as quickly and casually as I could but it was not good. A fart escaped my butt and it was BAD....damn mexican food...the fart fog was going to reach the guys any momment. I made a beeline for the door then ran down the hall not waiting to apologize. The mens room was down the hall ont he right according to the maps. I bust through the door and barely make it to the toliet before my inerds exploded.

By now I am able to take in my surroundings. Very posh for a bathroom I thought. The rumbles down under started subsiding, so I began to grab for where the TP should be in a normal bathroom...and nothing...there is no TP anywhere in the stall. F*CK!!!!! I look around again maybe I missed it...then i noticed a button on the side wall labeled PRESS. Since I had nothing to lose I pressed the button and the toliet flushed beneath me. Then jets of warm water sprayed my @ss and then the toliet flushed again. This was followed by a rush of warm air.

THE TOLIET WAS DRYING MY BUTT!!!!! They are really taking this no loose paper business a little to far.

 

[snickerd3]

I walked back to the conference room to the two grown men trying to hold in uncontrollable laughter. "Back to work" I Barked as I leaned over the drawings again. "I think it would be best to start at the top and work our way down. Be sure to check all the drains for silver residues, clogs, etc...they are pouring the stuff down the drain somewhere."

 

[snickerd3]

Dexman was pacing the security office wringing his hands together when his cell phone rang. It made him jump.

"Shithead, O told you never to call me this late. I'm getting my thing on and don't want to be disturbed. Now whats the problem, the heat getting to high?"

"Theres no problem in the lab" Dexman countered bitterly. "Its just there are people here with PROBES and stuff and they knocked m...I men they are in the second floor conference room where Tim put all those maps and drawings." dexman contiuned quickly and nervously.

trying to calm dexman down Chucktown said"Don't worry Dex, the lab isn't on the drawings. I drew the as builts for the secuirty edition myself. They'll never find it. Relax Dex, have a cup of joe and chill. See you in the morning." As Chucktown flipped his phone closed he thought to himself, "I knew that guy was going to be trouble."

 

[snickerd3]

Fl Buff and Dark knight start scoping drains. I was sitting at the conference room table when my cell rang. "FusionWhite, tell me good news" I said.

"Wish I could sir, but its not pretty." Fusionwhite said. " I've search and searched about unicorn blood and everything points to something menancing. There are some references to control potions and some stuff I just can't bring my self to repeat they are so horrible."

Ok, thanks...keep searching I said

 

[snickerd3]

The outdoor work began. Dleg and sapper had started the vac truck when Chucktown was walking up to the front door. He glanced sideways at them as he walked by.

WTF is up with the truck outside he asked Dexman. Septic tank went kaput, spewing shit all over the place down there. "Septic Tank?!" Chucktown asked. Yeah...were all the shit goes when you flush a toliet or wash your.......hands." the realization quickly set in. "I thought you said this building was hooked up to public sewer" It was supposed to be. The plans said it was. Do you think they know?

 

[snickerd3]

As I reviewed the building plans I noticed a sticky note attached to one of the as builts. I pulled out my cell and dialed Dark Knight...Whaz up boss man? Dark knight said.

You and Buff can stop what you are doing. The problems isn't up here. The whole dam building hooked up to public sewer..BUT VTE the septic tank...let me finish...there is a hand written note on a single copy of the as builts that says the building was hooked up to the public sewer except for one area on the main floor. It looks like they ran out of money before a remodel was complete and left a portion hooked up to the septic. The as builts never got revised. Damn what a waste of time.