Study vs. Family Life

[CivE Bricky]

For the FE, I pretty much disappeared and left the family....kids didn't see me much except weekends. When I reappeared it became obvious that my husband and two daughters had gone on without me -- and there was no obvious spot held open for me to return to. I gained the tiniest hint of how tough it must be for soldiers to come home after being away. (Thankfully, I passed.)

1st time PE, I think I wasn't willing to miss out on my family again and prioritized them over studying. (I didn't pass.)

2nd time PE, I worked a little harder, but not hard enough. (Didn't pass.....realized this halfway thing was going to a slow death and too many vacation days devoted to study and exams)

3rd time PE, I hit the right balance. I tracked all my study hours (and topic) in a spreadsheet. I studied most nights (always away from home) but never past 9pm. I called kids at bedtime. I read instead of relying on TV (and couch sleeping) to unwind after studying. I made use of small blocks of time and nearly always had my study stuff in the car. I had hours of operation for every good study place around--so it was a snap decision where to go if I had an opening 7-9 on Sunday night. I did stay connected and didn't feel like my role in the family got filled in.

(what got totally ignored was housework and anything that didn't have high importance and a tight deadline.....still trying to dig out from that!)

I did lots more studying and nearly all of it was really productive (ear plugs in my study kit helped too)....here's hoping 3x the charm!

 

[Fluvial]

I think I took the FE cold - spring of my senior year at Uni. My daughter was two years old at the time.

For the PE, four of us in my company were taking it on the same day. So for the previous months leading up to that, we studied together at lunchtime at the office. My kids were 5 and 8 years old then.

 

[maryannette]

I took EIT 2 times and PE 4 times before passing. It spanned over many years, from toddlers to teen/adult children. It was always a sacrifice. But, very much worth it.

Good luck. Hope you get passing results soon.

 

[Stokey]

Congratulations to all of you!! It was hard enough to juggle studying for the FE and PE with my career and taking care of a small household (great spouse and lazy cat!) No toddlers or teens though. I let all the house work, cooking, shopping, etc... go and my husband picked up the slack as much as possible with his long hours at work. It was tough, but since we do not have children I was able to just disappear for a while and then return to dig out of the mess.

 

[Guest]

I was still in college when I took/passed FE.

I ended up getting a divorce as a result for my time/effort placed into passing the PE exam. :true:

I did lots more studying and nearly all of it was really productive (ear plugs in my study kit helped too)....here's hoping 3x the charm!

Best wishes on getting POSITIVE news!!

JR

 

[CivE Bricky]

Best wishes on getting POSITIVE news!!
JR

Thx JR fingers are crossed.....

Sorry to hear the divorce/PE study story...that's a big price to pay.

 

[Airborne]

I took/passed the FE my last semester of college while working at a firm. Between studying for the test, studying for classes, and working, I never saw my 1 1/2 year old daughter or my pregnant wife. The wife was awesome, she brought our daughter by, along with dinner, to the study lounge at school several times a week. I took the SE1 for the first time 24Apr09. Again, very little family time. I took a week off from work and studying for the birth of our 4th/last child in early April. I hope this test is a one time deal too. It's a level of stress that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but to accomplish our goals, we must drive on soldier, hoo-ah. Wish me luck.

 

[Dexman1349]

Was married but still in college for the EIT (FE), and we had school sponsored study sessions. They were a few hours long every tuesday night for the 8 weeks leading up to the exam and each night was taught by a different professor for each section. I didn't really study much outside of the study sessions and the few random breaks between classes.

My daughter was 13 months and my son was almost 3 when I took the PE. We had an 8:30 bedtime for the kiddos so I dedicated the time between then and about 11pm to studying. I would disappear for a few hours during nap-times on weekend days (about 12-3). Never really missed any major family functions, but I did skip a couple small family gatherings (both my parents and my in-laws live about 130 miles away and we only see them about once a month).

 

[Alan Coons]

I started preparing for the 2009 April PE mechanical exam in November of 2008. I started preparing using the Kaplan books and did not find their material to be complete, accurate or well organized. I was very vocal in expressing my opinions to Kaplan and did not get any response from them at all.

A friend of mine that was preparing for the exam introduced me to the PPI(Professional Publications Inc.). I ordered just about all of their reference material and enrolled into their online review course. Their review material is very well organized, accurate and the course has a structured outline schedule that you can follow or create your own. There are several proctors that are available to answer any questions that you might have as you progress through the study schedule. It is all self motivated and depends purely on your ability to follow a schedule and initiate suggestions using their online forum. This was my first time taking the exam and without PPI's review I don't believe I would have had the same results.

There were a lot of weekends and most nights sacrificed in reviewing for the test, but my family were very supportive and understanding. I have been out of school for 14 years, and preparing for this exam reminded me exactly what being back in school was like.

Congratulations to all of you who passed your exams, and good luck to all those who have to dig in and prepare for the next one.

 

[Johnny]

I did o.k. with the family life I guess. There were some nights/weekends at Starbuck's, the bookstore, library etc...

I did choose (my wife's idea actually....bless her heart) to go visit my Mom for a week about 2 weeks before the exam. It was a blessing. I got 8+ hrs/day studying done at a local college library including taking a practice exam. I came out of study hibernation to eat meals and such. It was such a difference. Being at home with the kids was just so inefficient, regardless if they were trying their best to be quiet.

 

[bkrs2002]

Just past the Civil PE / Water Resources. First try. I stayed more or less connected but it was a long haul. Put in a couple hours at night after the kids went to bed for about 4 months. Most of the material I studied from the CERM and 6 minutes solutions was not on the exam but I'm sure the practice help me pass the first time around.

 

[psucivilengineer]

I passed the April 09 PE on my first try. I would say I stayed connected with my family while I studied. I started studying on January 5th and the exam was on April 24th. That allowed me 16 weeks to study. My daughter was 4 months when I started studying and 8 months when I took the exam. I am fortunate that my daughter goes to bed early and sleeps through the night. I was able to put her to bed at 7pm every night and I studied from 7 to 9 or 8 to 10. Some nights I could only handle studying for one hour. I would say I averaged 1.5 hours per night, 6 nights per week for 16 weeks. I took the civil transportation exam. I studied the CERM book, the AASHTO green book and the Highway Capacity Manual as well as some other miscellaneous sources. I used these three books for the entire afternoon exam. It was definitely a lot of dedication and hard work to prepare for the exam. I had to give up a lot in those 4 months, no doubt about it. I felt as if my life was put on hold for 4 months. I don't think I could have put as much effort into studying had I taken it in October. That time of year is just too busy for me. I would recommend taking the April exam for first time takers. I would take it in October if I failed in April though. Good luck to everyone!

 

[Phantasma]

I started studying about 8 months before the exam. In the beginning I only studied during my lunch hour and on the bus commute to and from work, about 2.5 hours a day total. About 2 months before the exam I did a lot of practice problems and familiarized myself with my reference materials and about 2 weeks before the exam I took the family on vacation where I did the NCEES practice exam problems for about 3 hours every night after the kids went to bed. I did the practice exam about 4 times. Then two days before the exam I did the practice problems one more time. Then I did not look at another problem until the exam. So, no I don't think studies affected the family.

 

[snickerd3]

I took an october sitting. Starting the springf before the test I spent all my breaks and lunch hours reading the lindburg book. Then about 3 monthes before the test I started studing an additional 2-3 hr each evening at home. The hubby was traveling for work a lot during these 3 months so things worked out. I didn't have to feel bad about not being tuned in, because he wasn't around. I did not study on the weekends

 

[AT II]

I tried to stay connected but definitely had to sacrifice a lot of time and fun (staying in on weekends, studying on weekend vacations, long hours after work, etc.).

The studying / sacrifice was not an easy thing to do, especially if you're trying to explain it to people that don't understand (or care about) why you're doing it.

 

[maryannette]

This might seem silly, but I found that if I took a nap at lunchtime, it helped me study at night. I would sleep in my car for 45 minutes out of an hour lunch break. If it was cool, I would just cover up and be warm enough. If it was warm, I would park in the shade away from traffic with the windows down. It came down to making every minute count for something that I needed - sleep was part of it. I know this won't work in all climates.

 

[yel38]

Did not have the luxury of disconnecting since I’m working full time and married with two kids. I had to take the FE twice and the PE twice.

Before each exam the in-laws came to visit and stayed for 3 weeks. Now tried to study in the mix of all that. :wacko:

I think I passed both exams with more luck than knowledge.

 

[speedycoche1]

I would say that I stayed connected, but I don't really have much of a family - no kids, just the wife and I.

My study schedule was basically that I'd study either shortly after work (allowing a 1/2 hour or so of relaxation time) before working out, or else after dinner for anywhere between 1 and 3 hours. This allowed me to spend some time with my wife every evening.

On the weekends I would typically wake up around 7 or 8 and crack the books so that I had 1/2 my studying done before my wife got out of bed, and I'd be done by lunch time most days. This enabled me to get stuff done around the house in the afternoons, and we would spend time together at night.

There were a few times that we visited her family in Pittsburgh that I'd stay at my in-laws house while they went out to do something in the afternoon to study, and 1 time in particular where a bunch of her aunts/uncles/cousins were at their grandparents' house that I sat at the dining room table alone and studying for a few hours before joining them in the living room. These times were pretty far and few between though, and certainly worth the ribbing I took from them considering it led to me passing...

 

[TBSS]

I have been wrestling with how I am going to get all my studying in this time around. I have already started studying during my lunch break but it's when I get home is where the challenge is. I have 3.5 month old twin boys at home so I don't want to miss even one thing that goes on with them. The only plan I can come up with is to stay up with them between the time I get home from work (6:30) until 9:00 then study from 9:00 to ?? (too tired to stay awake). I guess I won't really see my wife during this time as one of has to cook while one is with the kids. I hope she realizes how much depends on me passing this exam (partner in my firm) and "waits" for me. Maybe I can take a night or two off now and then if I make sure I am using all of the time on the weekend that the boys take naps. I'll do the best that I can and hope for the best.

 

[CivE Bricky]

I have 3.5 month old twin boys at home so I don't want to miss even one thing that goes on with them.

My suggestions:

consider getting up super early to study for maybe 2 hours before you start your day. Early morning and lunch should allow you to leave at least some evenings free for your family.

plan time alone with your wife every week or two.

set a time daily that you hang with the kids -- maybe during dinner prep and dinner.

Don't focus on being there every minute - your sons will never know the difference....even though you will. I'm still scarred by missing the first pumpkin farm trip for my daughter (because I was studying - to finish my degree)....she is exactly the same as she'd be if I had gone with her. And the video and lots of pictures helped dull the sting of missing out.

Carry study materials all the time - and use the 20 minute opportunities that pop up to do a problem or two.

Email & text cute kid stories & pictures to each other -- that helps you feel "there" even when you can't be.

And remember the opportunities this credential will bring will potentially have a huge effect on how your family lives....and set an example for your sons. It does matter.

Let some things just go at home in favor of people time (or if it's an option, hire extra help). I'm still digging out 3 months later - but have no regrets. And agree not to complain or fight about the things that go undone.

Find a positive way to unwind from studying. For me, it was reading mysteries -- I'd sleep if tired (unlike computer use) and wouldn't crash on the couch like watching TV late. Exercise can really help too....just a 10 minute walk can be enough.

Pace yourself - don't study super late, because if you do, you'll likely skip the next day or be very unproductive.