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I like "We scanned some undergraduates" and "We are 500 scientists and here's what we've been up to for the last 10 years"
I love the 500 scientists one because the actual 'mock paper' just had the block o' authors that lists every single one of those 500 scientists in order of seniority. I know there is a specific way to list people, I had a friend explain it to me once, where the super important people either go at the start or the end of the author block, but I just assume I'd be in the middle for holding a beaker. Or being scanned.
 
One of the rental places I've bounced between did that while I was at the store in the middle of the day. Drove the wife nuts. Worst thing was that there was a hard wired detector less than a foot away on the same wall near the ceiling. Someone went overboard and installed battery operated detectors as backup, but they used a non-standard battery that is nearly unobtainium at any local store.

Property manager said to just leave it alone until we departed, I said that we're not listening to it beep every 3 minutes for the remainder of our stay (3+ days), so I pulled it down and left it on the counter. They had to figure out how to reinstall it in the cathedral ceiling area.
 
Property manager said to just leave it alone until we departed, I said that we're not listening to it beep every 3 minutes for the remainder of our stay (3+ days), so I pulled it down and left it on the counter. They had to figure out how to reinstall it in the cathedral ceiling area.

This happened to us in a hotel once. I don't recall why but I wasn't able to remove the battery for some reason so I took the detector down, wrapped it in a towel and shoved it in a drawer so we couldn't hear it any more.
 
This happened to us in a hotel once. I don't recall why but I wasn't able to remove the battery for some reason so I took the detector down, wrapped it in a towel and shoved it in a drawer so we couldn't hear it any more.
Bold move in a hotel. They usually have tamper switches on them so they can see if/when you take them off the wall (to prevent people from smoking in non-smoking rooms).
 
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