October 2019 15k SPAM Thread

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I wake up some days, and think about how I only had two things I wanted when I grew up. I would have thought having a normal life wouldn’t have been too much of pipe dream. But here I am, in the land of crazy.
what were the 2 things?

 
I am not poor but I'd rather take my PTO to do something more than just sit at home - I have the privilege that my family is 1.5 hours away tho so it's easy to go visit
I just started this job and have a end-of-December vacation planned (December 26 to New Years) and then an ultra 19-day vacation in June. ...So I'm PTO-stingy.

My family is now too far away for me to visit easily.  Which is sadddd.

 
I swear, they need to hire retired engineers to do document management and run the ‘vault’/document database. It does me no friggin good, Karen, to know what the tube bundle looks like without having the shell and channel details, when I’m needing to find info on the nozzles. Just because the bundle was replaced doesn’t mean the whole friggin exchanger is obsolete. I mean, the bundle isn’t out there installed by itself!

 
Also, planning a bridal shower/bachelorette party from four states away is a little difficult.

*sigh*
I would think it'd be difficult regardless of location but that's largely because I don't drink or go out so I'd be useless lol 

 
No it’s not, just google map all the bars in the area. Hire a stripper. Done.
I can't do that to my friend!  She's so tiny and adorable and wants to be real low-key (I don't think I can even get her to wear a bride-to-be sash)!  I think we're going to do a murder/mystery theater show in NYC and maybe a speakeasy afterwards for hanging out.  She doesn't drink due to medical issues, so nothing too crazy.

Shower...God I'm hoping it can be held at someone's house so I don't need to go crazy with decorations.  Are couple showers a thing?  I kinda want her husband and his family/friends to be there too?

 
I can't do that to my friend!  She's so tiny and adorable and wants to be real low-key (I don't think I can even get her to wear a bride-to-be sash)!  I think we're going to do a murder/mystery theater show in NYC and maybe a speakeasy afterwards for hanging out.  She doesn't drink due to medical issues, so nothing too crazy.

Shower...God I'm hoping it can be held at someone's house so I don't need to go crazy with decorations.  Are couple showers a thing?  I kinda want her husband and his family/friends to be there too?
jack & jill bridal showers are totally a thing 

 
I can't do that to my friend!  She's so tiny and adorable and wants to be real low-key (I don't think I can even get her to wear a bride-to-be sash)!  I think we're going to do a murder/mystery theater show in NYC and maybe a speakeasy afterwards for hanging out.  She doesn't drink due to medical issues, so nothing too crazy.

Shower...God I'm hoping it can be held at someone's house so I don't need to go crazy with decorations.  Are couple showers a thing?  I kinda want her husband and his family/friends to be there too?
Is she already married?

 
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