Last night we finished watching
Conan the Barbarian.
First off, when this movie was first pitched to the producers, they must have said, "Ok... picture this... TEETH! ... and... eruptions of blood!" No sh*t. Seems like every evil character showed off their teeth more than their acting talents. Also, it seems as if every character who is killed is actually a pressurized Ziploc bag full of tomato soup. Sword across your back? Five foot blood explosion. Get thrown into a rock? Rock covered in blood explosion. Just a weeeee bit over the top for my taste.
Next, after the first twenty minutes, I almost turned it off. It just got to the point of "this is just getting stupid". But, we managed to snake our way through the entire flick.
The positives - There are lots of TATA shots. Like, WHOA, so many tatas! And you get to see Rachel Nichols naked.
The negatives - You see Jason Momoa's (Conan) ass. There are unnecessary / stupid amounts of blood explosions that make the movie seem silly. The producers / writers / directors seemed to just try way too hard to make a good movie. It is nothing like Ah-nold's Conan movies.
Overall, I won't watch it again. It may have been a good movie if the negatives I mentioned had been fixed, which should have been easy. I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, though. 3 stars.