funny pic thread
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MetsFan
Well-known member
MetsFan
Well-known member
TESTY
Breeze Shootist
[SIZE=12pt]>> Subject: RETIRED HUSBAND
>>
>>
>>
>> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
>> Target.
>>
>> Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to
>> get in and get out.
>>
>> Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
>>
>> Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
>> Target:
>>
>> Dear Mrs. Harris,
>>
>> Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
>> our store.
>>
>> We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you
>> from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are
>> listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
>>
>> 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
>> people's carts when they weren't looking.
>>
>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
>> intervals.
>>
>> 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
>> women's restroom.
>>
>> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
>> voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
>>
>> This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a
>> reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union
>> grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
>> We don't have a Code 3.
>>
>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
>> layaway.
>>
>> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>>
>> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
>> children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
>> blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
>>
>> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
>> and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
>> called.
>>
>> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
>> mirror while he picked his nose.
>>
>> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
>> the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>>
>> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
>> the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
>>
>> 12. October 6 In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
>> using different sizes of funnels.
>>
>> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
>> yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>>
>> 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
>> assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>>
>> 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the
>> fitting room?
>>
>> And last, but not least:
>>
>> 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
>> and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One
>> of the clerks passed out.[/SIZE]
>>
>>
>>
>> After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
>> Target.
>>
>> Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to
>> get in and get out.
>>
>> Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
>>
>> Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
>> Target:
>>
>> Dear Mrs. Harris,
>>
>> Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
>> our store.
>>
>> We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you
>> from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are
>> listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
>>
>> 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
>> people's carts when they weren't looking.
>>
>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
>> intervals.
>>
>> 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
>> women's restroom.
>>
>> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
>> voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
>>
>> This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a
>> reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union
>> grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
>> We don't have a Code 3.
>>
>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
>> layaway.
>>
>> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>>
>> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
>> children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
>> blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
>>
>> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
>> and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
>> called.
>>
>> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
>> mirror while he picked his nose.
>>
>> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
>> the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>>
>> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
>> the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
>>
>> 12. October 6 In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
>> using different sizes of funnels.
>>
>> 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
>> yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>>
>> 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
>> assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>>
>> 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the
>> fitting room?
>>
>> And last, but not least:
>>
>> 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
>> and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One
>> of the clerks passed out.[/SIZE]
ventilator
Well-known member
OK, dumb question but can I post a picture from my desktop without having to upload it to an image site first?
MetsFan
Well-known member
You can upload it to your post, but it needs to be less than 500Kb
knight1fox3
Jedi MASTER & Friend of Capt. Solo
In addition it also stays in your "my files" repository and that also has a limited amount of storage space. Web site storage isn't cheap.
But there are so many free sites to host from that don't even require you to log in. And usually only takes a few extra seconds to go through the process.
ventilator
Well-known member
OK, so this showed up on my amazon home page yesterday
I needed more info on the science one and found this. Pretty cool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQJAwQinqF8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQJAwQinqF8
knight1fox3
Jedi MASTER & Friend of Capt. Solo
matt267 PE
"1000000 warning points" Club Member
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I bet you want to kill those trees don't you?
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