@RBHeadge PE realized something was...odd while in the pizza aisle. They were searching for a Digiorno stuffed crust, spinach and cheese frozen pizza, when they saw a customer go by with a cart full of toilet paper. Shrugging, they continued their search (so many supreme pizzas, so little vegetarian options), when another shopper attempted to entire the aisle they were in, this time pushing and pulling carts that were filled with toilet paper. The woman pushing/pulling the carts gave a little shriek when they saw someone else in the aisle and backed up, quickly walking towards the registers.
“What’s going on here?”
@RBHeadge PE muttered to themselves.
“Didn’t you hear? There have been confirmed budvid-19 cases.” A voice spoke from behind, muffled and raspy.
When
@RBHeadge PE turned, they were baffled by the person dressed in a full tyvek suit paired with angel wings. I mean, yes, Wal-Mart did get odd, but it was Tuesday night, no reason for this level of tomfoolery. “What’s that?” They asked, reaching for the freezer handle only to stop when the tyvek angel gave a squeal and forced various PPE into their hands.
“The budweiser virus. Came over from Missouri. Has already toppled Russia.” The person might have been squinting, “Why don’t you know about this? It’s been on the news?”
“Wait, what?”
“I can’t say anymore. I need to grab 14-pounds of cheddar before they start implementing.” And with that, the tyvek turned and hustled off, wings flapping wildly with their large stride.
As
@RBHeadge PE mused on what they learned, and began to pull on multiple pairs of nitrile gloves to prevent cross-contamination, they didn’t notice the other who had entered their aisle from behind. The slinky person, who seemed to be cloaked in shadow and non-toxic black paint from the craft aisle. The super stealthy person, who silently crept closer, one hand out reached towards
@RBHeadge PE, while the other opened up the freezer nearby.
@RBHeadge PE didn’t know what happened when they were grabbed from behind,twirled and then thrown into the empty freezer, and reacted too slowly to push against the door before a broom was threaded through the handles. Most freezers at Wal-Mart weren’t efficient, barely keeping the cold food below room temperature, but this freezer had obviously been emptied because it was too good at keeping things cold: the layer of ice on the shelves was thick enough to encase ice cream gallon containers from the early 70s. Their gloved hands squeaked against the cold glass as they fumbled to move shelving that was welded in-place to avoid theft. The one of two people who passed through the aisle shuffled past too quickly to notice
@RBHeadge PE, or were carefully making sure their attention was on their phones, where more news updates on the spread of budvid-19 were being reported.
So
@RBHeadge PE made themselves as comfortable as they could and waited.
But nobody would come.
@RBHeadge PE was killed by the Wal-Mart mafia last night.
The remaining players are:
@ChebyshevII PE,
@tj_PE,
@MEtoEE,
@vhab49_PE,
@jean15paul_PE,
@LyceeFruit PE,
@MadamPirate PE,
@chart94,
@SaltySteve,
@blybrook PE, and
@Roarbark
now what do i do?
