JayKay PE
Lower Intestine Aficionado
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2018
- Messages
- 9,049
- Reaction score
- 5,060
"Okay everyone, let's do this!" @jean15paul_PE cheered from the front of the class, whipping their beautiful weave ponytail around like a helicopter to match the furious pumping of their legs. "I want everyone to get hustling so we can begin some intervals! I see you over there, @tj_PE, you with your class streak, it's really been paying off!" A few jealous glances were pointed at the rider with the shout-out, a few grumbles of discontent rippling throughout the cycle class. "And intervals are a go! Up, and down, and up, and down, and move those tooshies!!!!"
A couple of the cyclists, with legs larger than tree trunks, gave a cheer, while the remainder struggled to keep up with the pace and began panting at the sudden influx of...cardio.
All the result of a company-wide effort for everyone to get fit (and not a secret upper management attempt at lowering health care overhead costs). It was a weeklong retreat-FOR WORK BONDING AND FITNESS (you better lose weight and/or inches, or else!). So everybody have fun (and lower the type 2 diabetes claims that are running up our premiums!).
One of the cyclists, @SaltySteve PE, seemed to be struggling more than others, with their intervals being off no matter how much cheering was coming from the instructor. Another failed interval and @SaltySteve PE collapsed in a pile against the front of the bike, wheezing dramatically. Their feet, strapped into the bike pedals, twitched momentarily, before their whole body stilled. Nobody realized that they had died from a sudden cardiac arrest until the end of class, when everyone else slid to the floor for burpees before they were allowed to leave.
Everyone gathered around @SaltySteve PE for a moment, struggling to breath and struggling to understand what happened, before they shuffled off in sweaty dejection. With one person killed during the retreat, would that mean the plan deductibles would go up, because they now had to cover the premiums with less people? Was that how health plans worked? They thought that is how health plans worked.
A conversation started between two co-workers, discussing the benefits of a HDHP versus a PPO, when one began coughing and collapsed to the floor after taking a sip from their bedazzled water bottle. Good thing the other co-worker had taken the CPR-training offered by their current health plan's online portal! They were able to keep the heart of @DuranDuran beating in time with "Staying Alive", and finally use their keychain CPR mouth barrier to lower the risk of transmission of whatever, long enough for the onsite paramedics that were hired by the company to rush over and take over! It was a very dramatic save of @DuranDuran!
Later investigation revealed the water bottle was filled with something that looked like Crystal Light but was, in fact, full sugar drink mix! Obviously an attempt at assassination! Someone was trying to make the medical plan costs go up. But whom?
The remaining players are:
@MadamPirate PE, @beccabun PE, @EyehatethePEexam, @ChebyshevII PE, @RBHeadge PE, @Dothracki PE, @txjennah PE, @DuranDuran, and @BlueBlueprint_PE
@SaltySteve PE was lynched by forced exercise. They were a normal co-worker.
Final Vote
@txjennah PE (doth)
@RBHeadge PE (blue)
@SaltySteve PE (mp)
@BlueBlueprint_PE (rbh)
@DuranDuran was saved
A couple of the cyclists, with legs larger than tree trunks, gave a cheer, while the remainder struggled to keep up with the pace and began panting at the sudden influx of...cardio.
All the result of a company-wide effort for everyone to get fit (and not a secret upper management attempt at lowering health care overhead costs). It was a weeklong retreat-FOR WORK BONDING AND FITNESS (you better lose weight and/or inches, or else!). So everybody have fun (and lower the type 2 diabetes claims that are running up our premiums!).
One of the cyclists, @SaltySteve PE, seemed to be struggling more than others, with their intervals being off no matter how much cheering was coming from the instructor. Another failed interval and @SaltySteve PE collapsed in a pile against the front of the bike, wheezing dramatically. Their feet, strapped into the bike pedals, twitched momentarily, before their whole body stilled. Nobody realized that they had died from a sudden cardiac arrest until the end of class, when everyone else slid to the floor for burpees before they were allowed to leave.
Everyone gathered around @SaltySteve PE for a moment, struggling to breath and struggling to understand what happened, before they shuffled off in sweaty dejection. With one person killed during the retreat, would that mean the plan deductibles would go up, because they now had to cover the premiums with less people? Was that how health plans worked? They thought that is how health plans worked.
A conversation started between two co-workers, discussing the benefits of a HDHP versus a PPO, when one began coughing and collapsed to the floor after taking a sip from their bedazzled water bottle. Good thing the other co-worker had taken the CPR-training offered by their current health plan's online portal! They were able to keep the heart of @DuranDuran beating in time with "Staying Alive", and finally use their keychain CPR mouth barrier to lower the risk of transmission of whatever, long enough for the onsite paramedics that were hired by the company to rush over and take over! It was a very dramatic save of @DuranDuran!
Later investigation revealed the water bottle was filled with something that looked like Crystal Light but was, in fact, full sugar drink mix! Obviously an attempt at assassination! Someone was trying to make the medical plan costs go up. But whom?
The remaining players are:
@MadamPirate PE, @beccabun PE, @EyehatethePEexam, @ChebyshevII PE, @RBHeadge PE, @Dothracki PE, @txjennah PE, @DuranDuran, and @BlueBlueprint_PE
@SaltySteve PE was lynched by forced exercise. They were a normal co-worker.
Final Vote
@txjennah PE (doth)
@RBHeadge PE (blue)
@SaltySteve PE (mp)
@BlueBlueprint_PE (rbh)
@DuranDuran was saved
