April 2019 15k SPAM Thread

[Booo]

What I really want is a rep-to-post ratio closer to yours. Apparently I need to step up my pun game...

Are you sure that's the right direction? 

 

[JayKay PE]

I made more puns, surprise surprise

You've got to start going for the gold, something like, "I went to the bank today with my mother.  She said she wasn't sure of her balance, so I pushed her over.  My response of bad wasn't enlightening."

BAM.  PUN.

 

[Booo]

DID YOU DO THE GOOGLE THANOS THING.  DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT.  Not spoilers, but coooool!!!!

you can click a second time to undo the dusting.

 

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

Are you sure that's the right direction? 

Yes.

 

[Booo]

Yes.

well... we are waiting.

 

[JayKay PE]

you can click a second time to undo the dusting.

I did, but it didn't go back to the original number.  Which means some people got vacuumed by the other half.  I'm thinking vindictive vacuuming by angry ex-lovers.

 

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

well... we are waiting.

You can’t just “force out” a pun like a turd, it has to come naturally.

 

[JayKay PE]

Hey guys, it's Friday, and you know what that means!

JK frantically trying to remember what happened earlier in the week so the timesheet can be filled in!

Stay tuned for: "Things will be different next week, I'll fill out my timesheet every night" soon to be followed by "That was a half hour?  No.  I'm bumping that to .75-hours at least."

 

[Booo]

I did, but it didn't go back to the original number.  Which means some people got vacuumed by the other half.  I'm thinking vindictive vacuuming by angry ex-lovers.

aaahhhhh  .. no spoilers

BTW, mine did go back to the original number.

 

[JayKay PE]

You can’t just “force out” a pun like a turd, it has to come naturally.

Throw out an oldie but a goodie: "A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

 

[Booo]

You can’t just “force out” a pun like a turd, it has to come naturally.

 

[JayKay PE]

aaahhhhh  .. no spoilers

IS VACUUMING A SPOILER?  I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET.  Now I'm assuming there will be an aggressive vacuuming montage set to "Poison" by Britney Spears.

 

[squaretaper LIT AF PE]

Friday SPAM.

 

[Booo]

lets start a bad pun joke competition. Here my submission

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

 

[JayKay PE]

So how about that draft pick last night?  I know nothing about it, since I don't really follow football, but I was BWW last night and I guess the Giants screwed the pooch?  Also, all the black players had impeccable taste in suits and the white guys looked like they wouldn't know a well-fitted suit if it was thrown at them.

 

[Booo]

IS VACUUMING A SPOILER?  I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET.  Now I'm assuming there will be an aggressive vacuuming montage set to "Poison" by Britney Spears.

🤐

 

[JayKay PE]

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.  The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."   Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.   Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"   The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

 

[RBHeadge PE]

What I really want is a rep-to-post ratio closer to yours. Apparently I need to step up my pun game...

You'll surpass me pretty soon. Most of my recs come from helping out the noobs and posting the results maps, audiences who typically don't register or know to rec. You're punning to the regulars.

 

[ChebyshevII PE PMP]

I tried to catch fog today, but I mist.

I was contemplating the rising of the sun last night, then it dawned on me.

I was playing frisbee, and tried to catch it with my mouth like a dog. And then it hit me.

 

[RBHeadge PE]

DID YOU DO THE GOOGLE THANOS THING.  DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT.  Not spoilers, but coooool!!!!

Is it actually safe to do? If I do it and get spoiled: