Annual performance reviews

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Sorry, but they're looking for results. Everyone's bonus (paid out in March) and annual pay increase depends on the status of their goals right now. The bottom 10% of performers have one year to perform better lest they want to walk out the gate never to return...
It takes them six months to get from assessment (what you called "review" in October) to payout?!?

 
I'm doing contract work through a small company now, so I don't have to do performance reviews anymore. My contract got renewed for another year a couple of weeks ago, so I guess I'm doing ok. Thats one thing I don't miss about bigger employers.

 
It takes them six months to get from assessment (what you called "review" in October) to payout?!?
It's an odd process working for such a large employer. I am compared to every single person across the globe in my pay scale (yes, everyone). My performance is judge against their's and we're ranked from 1 (oops!) - 5 (walking on water). I forget what the percentage falls into each category, but it's a long and drawn out process that takes time.

 
I'm doing contract work through a small company now, so I don't have to do performance reviews anymore. My contract got renewed for another year a couple of weeks ago, so I guess I'm doing ok. Thats one thing I don't miss about bigger employers.
Ditto. My annual review usually occurs just before Christmas and goes something like: "Oh, by the way, your salary increase for the year is x%".

 
^me too, except for the last several years, x=0... so they like to throw in some BS about the company's financial difficulty, and that I am on the "A" team....

 
We get an annual review, always due by October 31st, so as typical everyone gets their review during the last week. And they claim the annual raise is based on that, but it's a sham. Corporate comes down with "everyone gets X%" and thats what your boss works with. Say the X is 2%, and he gives you 2.5%, that means somebody else gets 1.5%. Basically anyway... We have a 1-5 scale, 1 being "Suck it up" and 5 being "you must be God". You get ranked on like 13 "Key Areas" on a 1-5 scale, then they figure your average. It's pretty impossible to get a 4. If your boss wants you to get a 4 or higher, HR and upper management have to approve.

And I get a boss who tells me I'm meeting and exceeding his expectations, but I get like 3.5 averages on my review. huh??

Around here, underperformers don't get let go and often get promoted, and over-achievers don't get anything but headaches and assigned more work. As you can see from my other posts, I'm in the job market.

 
I have not received a performance appraisal for ~15 years now - since I moved to the islands. They just don't do that here. This is the land of passive-aggressiveness. Your boss just gets mad at you and assumes you will interpret that as a need to get your shit together and read his mind.

So what I get instead of appraisals are drunken chats with my boss every 6 months or so at an agency barbecue. At one, he will slur drunkenly that he needs me to be as by-the-book as possible, to keep his ass out of trouble, and don't worry, Dleg, he'll handle all the political heat. Then at the next barbecue, he will slur drunkenly that I need to be more flexible because I am too by-the-book, and I am getting him into trouble politically. And so on and so forth.

:true:

 
My employer has a 3-level rating system. If you rate on the top third, you get a bonus (not big but better than nothing I suppose). In the middle ranking, nothing. Bottom, nothing.

The bonuses haven't been funded in a few years, so bosses aren't allowed to give anyone higher than the middle ranking overall.

 
Our review period has shifted twice this year (from calendar year, to fiscal year to twice per fiscal year). So since January I have had two yearly reviews and one mid-year "check-up" review. Everyone in the company had to come up with 2 or 3 goals on our own and then the department managers tacked on a couple more as they saw fit. I made one of my goals "Pass the PE exam".

In hindsight I should have put down "TAKE the PE exam".

We did get a nice bonus of 3% of base salary though.

 
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