Adult children living at home

[matt267 PE]

I would have no problem with either of my kids living at home as adults if they: 1) contribute by helping out around the house, 2) have an exit strategy, 3) and are making progress towards exiting.

Life happens and I hope to be there for my kids, but I don't want to "enable" laziness.  

 

[Road Guy]

Nationwide unemployment is at around 3 1/2% and 30-year-olds are still living at home? I'm not buying it

 

[tj_PE]

Nationwide unemployment is at around 3 1/2% and 30-year-olds are still living at home? I'm not buying it

just because UE is low right this moment doesn't mean people who have school loans have magically started making enough money to pay their debt and pay rent, when COL some places is more than 50% of your take home pay. some people are living at home to be economically conservative in preparation for the future, some just simply don't make enough, some are lazy and who knows what else. i figure it's just like having a roommate...if you cohabitate with someone it's an agreement by all parties and let those parties decide ya know

 

[MA_PE]

My mid 20's college graduate son is back (he moved in with GF for a year and the relationship went south) living at home.  He's a good kid and a hard worker and he's welcome for as long as he wants to stay.  Facing facts, it's a lot cheaper to live at home than get his own place.  He's working on it, but it's ok for now. 

This is not a forever situation and he doesn't treat it as such.

 

[jeb6294]

I would have no problem with either of my kids living at home as adults if they: 1) contribute by helping out around the house, 2) have an exit strategy, 3) and are making progress towards exiting.

Life happens and I hope to be there for my kids, but I don't want to "enable" laziness.  

^ This...the referenced bozo did none of those things.

I'm still split on the whole more millennials living at home thing.  I still think part of it is the fact that they have no concept of what real life is.  They graduate with their degree in prehistoric basket weaving and immediately want a 6-figure job and a 9th floor loft in Manhattan.  That ain't how it works.  I graduated and started off in an apartment that was so bad that I wouldn't let my parents come over when they came down to visit.

 

[knight1fox3]

Don't worry, your @mudpuppy's taxes are going to be increased to pay for this guy.  

Fixt. :thumbs:

 

[csb]

We just hired a EE at $3700 gross a month. He lives with his parents and rightly so, because there's no way to get ahead in the rental market here. It's easily $700-$1000 a month for a decent place (I know, I know...in SF/NYC/wherever that's cheap) and that's 50% of take home. Living at home will give him a chance to get up. As far as we can tell, he's not an asshole to his parents. 

 

[Szar]

48000 gross?  You guys are slaver traders!

No wonder they live at home!

 

[wilheldp_PE]

My dad's deal with my sister and I consisted of paying for our undergraduate education and our first car.  He would only pay for 4 years of college, and after that, he expected us to take care of ourselves.  It seemed to work out pretty well for him.  He ended up with an attorney and an engineer that are self-sufficient.  The only time that either of us spent any time at home after graduation was when I was on a 3 month stretch of unemployment after being laid off a couple years after graduation.  I had an apartment near Cincy, but I was job hunting in Louisville, so I spent a month or so at my parent's house.  As soon as I got a job, I rented an apartment and moved out nearly immediately.

 

[Road Guy]

It's a big country and there are plenty of places to live that don't have crazy COL. Even some big cities.... but you have to be willing to make a move to improve your situation.

I am honestly unsure if I will go with my eldest kid to college to drop him off. Just needs to sort of be a message that this is the beginning of you being an adult.

 

[YMZ PE]

I think we can all agree this particular situation is a combination of the guy being a selfish turd and the parents enabling him for way too long. There’s a distinction between compassion and coddling your kids. Some kids need to be forced to be on their own to become independent, others are better at making the most of what they’re given. So I can’t really make a blanket judgment on adults who live with their parents.

I think the key thing as a parent is to put in the effort to understand your kid so you can predict whether a particular approach is going to reinforce or discourage an unhealthy motivation. If you think helping your kid move into his dorm is going to make him think he can still run to you to fix his problems, don’t do it. But if he just wants to spend time with you before he moves out, why not?

 

[Road Guy]

Saw an update on the news bout this guy- after he left his parents he is going to live with a distant cousin. Lols...

 

[frazil]

Sucker!!

 

[P-E]

I have the ultimate story: I have two uncles who live with their mother who is now 95. Their father passed a few years ago.  One never left and uses her credit card to buy the groceries.   The other is a drug addict who just moved back after squandering his share of the sale of the family's summer property.  The house they all live in is reverse motgaged.   Sad situation.