DVINNY
2-time 10K winner
I am a dynamic figure, often seen leaping tall buildings, scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and god-like trumpet playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I?m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard.
I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don?t perspire. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.
Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket and the contents of the nutritional labels for each. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekend, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a spatula and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet. I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. I can grow just by looking at weights, Jen e parle pas encore tr?s bien le francais, however, I will say ?J'esp?re que nous aurons binet?t l'occasion de nous revoir, Est-ce que vous comprenez ce que je veux dire??.
I can weave my vehicle between suicidal-like light poles with an ALMOST perfect efficiency, I am a reverse psychic, I can see the past with 99% accuracy and can foresee the future with 50/50 odds. Many physicians ask my opinion and for my expertise, I am like the personified PDR, I have many Superhero like traits, my own wife says how I?m faster than a speeding bullet, I can dream an eight hour dream during a ten minute nap, I can eat the meals of 5 men at one sitting, I script award-nominated poetry. I've counted to infinity...... twice.
I can engineer the most cost efficient water systems, sometimes without the green hose. Neighbors envy my Holiday lighting decorations, while admiring that I did them in my sleep. I plan the most extravagant trips to Boston, but have yet to venture on one of them.
I was not credited for my work on ?Back to the Future?, but I do own the patent for the flux capacitor, and have recently found a way to generate the required 1.21 gigawatts using burnt aluminum foil with hamburger grease on it found in your average grill. I time travel for fun, and no, I won?t go to next week to get you lottery numbers, I have morals. I have X-ray vision, heat vision, and ice cold breath, I honestly have the nose of a blood hound and find it to be a hindrance and not a virtue. Renowned scientists ask me to prove their theorems, models ask me for fashion advise, and Roger Ebert has asked for my movie reviews.
I wish all of you a Good Day!!
DVINNY
Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and god-like trumpet playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I?m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard.
I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don?t perspire. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.
Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket and the contents of the nutritional labels for each. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekend, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a spatula and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet. I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. I can grow just by looking at weights, Jen e parle pas encore tr?s bien le francais, however, I will say ?J'esp?re que nous aurons binet?t l'occasion de nous revoir, Est-ce que vous comprenez ce que je veux dire??.
I can weave my vehicle between suicidal-like light poles with an ALMOST perfect efficiency, I am a reverse psychic, I can see the past with 99% accuracy and can foresee the future with 50/50 odds. Many physicians ask my opinion and for my expertise, I am like the personified PDR, I have many Superhero like traits, my own wife says how I?m faster than a speeding bullet, I can dream an eight hour dream during a ten minute nap, I can eat the meals of 5 men at one sitting, I script award-nominated poetry. I've counted to infinity...... twice.
I can engineer the most cost efficient water systems, sometimes without the green hose. Neighbors envy my Holiday lighting decorations, while admiring that I did them in my sleep. I plan the most extravagant trips to Boston, but have yet to venture on one of them.
I was not credited for my work on ?Back to the Future?, but I do own the patent for the flux capacitor, and have recently found a way to generate the required 1.21 gigawatts using burnt aluminum foil with hamburger grease on it found in your average grill. I time travel for fun, and no, I won?t go to next week to get you lottery numbers, I have morals. I have X-ray vision, heat vision, and ice cold breath, I honestly have the nose of a blood hound and find it to be a hindrance and not a virtue. Renowned scientists ask me to prove their theorems, models ask me for fashion advise, and Roger Ebert has asked for my movie reviews.
I wish all of you a Good Day!!
DVINNY