Those darn kids

[ElCid03]

My daughter likes to have conversations at the grocery store....with everyone.

 

[frazil]

Today my son (6) told my daughter (4), "Don't accessorize me!"

I have no idea which word he was shooting for. :dunno:

 

[Dexman PE]

My son (almost 5) can't say yogurt. It comes out yo-grit.

 

[Chucktown PE]

My 4 year old had diarhea today. I don't think he's had it in quite a while. He yelled to me and my wife from the bathroom, "MOMMY AND DADDY, I'M EXPLODING."

 

[goodal]

During March Madness my 6 year old got really into bsketball with me for the first time. He aways cheered for the opposite team as me. So during one of the Duke games (i was cheering for whoever the other guy was) Duke made a nice run and took the lead for the first time to which he turned to me and said "how bout them them apples". I died laughing.

My 3 year old is the constant hypocondriac (sp?) and will milk an injury till its dry. After interupting my wife reading a story a couple times over nothing in particular, she told him to be quiet until she got done unless he had to go to the bathroom or needed to puke. A few seconds later he interupted by saying "mommy i need to puke." he didnt.

 

[TouchDown]

My 3 year old is the constant hypocondriac (sp?) and will milk an injury till its dry. After interupting my wife reading a story a couple times over nothing in particular, she told him to be quiet until she got done unless he had to go to the bathroom or needed to puke. A few seconds later he interupted by saying "mommy i need to puke." he didnt.

That sounds like my middle kid, she's a total drama queen.

 

[MA_PE]

My little one just went on school vacation with his aunt, uncle, and cousin to the bahamas. He played black jack in a casino for the first time and came home up a $100. He also commented that the "free" beer they served in the casino tasted like pi$$.

Oh, by the way, he just turned 18 and the legal age in the Bahams is 18.

 

[maryannette]

My older daughter is trying to grow up.

She's 24.

 

[Dexman PE]

My kids just spilled an entire cup of coffee on my wife's laptop. I hope it still works after it dries...

 

[Supe]

My kids just spilled an entire cup of coffee on my wife's laptop. I hope it still works after it dries...

Right, your "kids." Wink.

 

[Dexman PE]

All I know is that I wasn't home when it happened, so I'm not going to be blamed for it.

 

[Wolverine]

When my now-12-yr-old daughter was 2 and her brother was 3-1/2, she liked to pull cassette tapes out of cassette. She also liked lollipops. On one particular day, these two loves collided in a sticky mess of unraveled cassette goo.

I stumbled upon my daughter wrapped in sticky cassette tape and swore loudly - [SIZE=14pt]"SH#~!"[/SIZE]

I felt a tug-tug-tug on my pants and looked down to see my 3-1/2 yr old (now going on 14) looking up at me with an innocent smile on his face. Quoth he (and proudly):

"Daddy, when I get big, and I get mad, I'm going to say sh#~! just like you."

I have tried to keep my potty mouth to myself ever since.

 

[Dleg]

I get a lot of that, too. My son recently went through a phase of saying "oh shit!" all the time, including at school. He's a little behind in language comprehension, too, so it was really difficult to explain what "bad words" means.

He picked it up partially from me, and partially from some DVDs he probably shouldn't have watched.

Today my son (6) told my daughter (4), "Don't accessorize me!"
I have no idea which word he was shooting for. :dunno:

That's awesome.

 

[NCcarguy]

OK...I'm going to attempt this, but my writing skillls may make it not as funny as when I tell it.

About 15 years ago, I was dating this girl that had a 5 year old son. We had been together for about 2 years, so the little boy was getting to the point that he told people I was his dad. We did a lot together, so it wasn't that wierd, plus his dad never saw him.

We had decided to travel to Chapel Hill to watch DISNEY ON ICE....yep, I was going to watch Disney on Ice! The trip was about 45 minutes from my house, and most of it was on the interstate. We loaded the little fella into the back seat of my explorer, and off we went. We got almost there, and Little John started whimpering like something was wrong so his mom asked him "Honey, what's wrong?" his reply as he continued to cry........"My tallywhacker is hard." I just about ran off the road! That cracks me up every time I think of that story.

My girlfriend looked at me with a SHOCK on her face, and we both sat there trying not to laugh at the poor kid.

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Kind of a depressing story from over the weekend. A good friend of ours who went to grad school with my wife is dating a guy who is originally from a few towns over from here. They were in town visiting his parents so we met up with them for a bit.

This guy is a real putz with no social skills, you can't have a normal conversation with him, and he's dumb as a rock. He asked our friend if it was ok to fart in front of us. He has spotty work filming weddings, bar mitzvahs, etc. but it's not consistent. He's got a 4 year old son he had with a former girlfriend he knocked up. She wanted to terminate the pregnancy, but he insisted on her going through with it because he wanted to be a dad and figured they'd work through it.

So now they hate each other and are using the kid as a pawn in a squabble for custody, child support, etc. The kid is definitely having developmental problems from all of this. He can't speak, isn't potty trained, and is just generally badly behaved.

The dad didn't feel comfortable coming over our house with him for fear that he might break our stuff. So take a guess where he wanted to meet up with us...a bar. Not a family style pub or anything, just a straight up bar.

This guy should be banned from pro-creating in the future. I can't see what our friend, a PhD with aspirations of being a professor one day sees in this dude and that she actually got engaged to him.

That poor kid is gonna start school with 2 strikes against him already.

 

[Chucktown PE]

^^You've got to have a license to drive a car, you've got to have a license to catch a fish, but they'll let any asshole be a father.

The quote was paraphrased from Keanu Reeves in parenthood but it is sooooooo true. I hate seeing kids that have to grow up around lousy parents. Mrs. Chucktown and I have been thinking about having a 3rd kid but I've been trying to talk her in to adopting. There are so many kids in this world that need someone to love them.

 

[Dexman PE]

My Sister and BIL are in the process of adopting. It is a long and very difficult path to adopt (especially for an infant), but it does provide a good home ("verified" by several different people) to a child who would otherwise grow up in a foster/orphanage.

 

[Chucktown PE]

My Sister and BIL are in the process of adopting. It is a long and very difficult path to adopt (especially for an infant), but it does provide a good home ("verified" by several different people) to a child who would otherwise grow up in a foster/orphanage.

I was actually thinking about a foreign adoption. I've read where up children in former Soviet bloc countries (The Ukraine in particular) are booted from the orphanage at age 15 and the majority of the boys end up in organized crime and the majority of the girls end up in prostitution. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

 

[Kephart P.E.]

I saw a report on Ukrainian/Soviet Bloc adoptions, and really I would beware, but we have friends with children from China and they are doing great.

 

[Dexman PE]

I've heard horror stories about international adoptions, but I think what I've heard are a minority of cases which were blownup in the media.