You can be an awesome spouse and do your best and still not be banking where it counts.
I think this is where alot of issues pop up (at least in my marriage)...
back story/info.... I work 7:30-4 everyday, 30-40mins from home... She watches her cousin's little one (she'll be 4 in Sept.) at odd hours (recently, it's 10am-8:30pm, Sun, Mon, Wed, Thurs, Fri) and a friend's little boy (~18 months) for 4 or 6 hours on Mon-Thurs (9-3 or 12-4, depending on the day)... She gets almost no money for watching her cousin's little one ($5 a day), and gets paid a decent amount for watching the little boy ($120 a week, currently)...
the short version.....
We decided to take on a few projects this spring, and we all know that one thing leads to another and more often than not (esp. with a 50 yr old house), it leads to alot more... We wanted new (2) toilets... We wanted/needed new exterior doors, the old ones were the originals and they were warped or bowed or drafty or all 3.... We wanted to remove the 70s paneling in the living room...
The toilet installs went well, at least as well as you can hope... Every project takes longer than you want it to....
While the door were on order, we took on the paneling in the LR... because of the glue used, that quickly became a re-drywall the LR project.... which meant new crown molding, and a new mantle, etc... we got all that done, short of the mantle and I still have to fill the nail holes in the crown....
The doors were installed over the course of 3 weekends.... we ran new wire for the Door bells during each door's removal... the new storm doors followed shortly after each door was installed... minor things still need to be done (painting the new thresholds, and I still have to seal around the brick mold and the brick on one door)...
Then came replacement of the leaky/leaking outside faucets... which required installing shutoff valves where applicable... and new copper to replace a leak discovered (tiny tiny hole, not sure the cause... it's an old leak because of the green scaling,etc around it... I think I disturbed the plug made by the patina....)
Then there's the new door knobs to make the rest of the house match the new doors.... which requires drilling the hole in every door to the current std.... and chiseling, to make the strike plate fit... etc... etc...
Not to mention helping her dad gut and remodel their cabin along the river..... and me helping the secretary at work remodel her bathroom (mainly for extra money to fund the above listed projects)
But anyway, you guys get the idea... I haven't stopped since... well... February....
I took Tuesday off to stay home and spend time with my wife... and since we only had to babysit one kid (12-4... so it's play, feed, nap, snack, play, go home), I figured it was a good day to relax, tackle a door knob replacement or two... and generally, just spend some time with the wife...
We slept in a bit, 8ish... after we ate, she asked what the plan was, so I told her what I had in my head... she wanted the faucet outside replaced, and I can take care of the door knobs anytime since they "only take, what, like 5 min to replace?"... so I start working on the faucet.... the old one comes out easy enough, but the new frost-free ones are a bit bigger than the 1/2" copper pipe.... so 2 hours into it, I'm chipping away at brick and mortar trying to make a hole big enough to fit the new faucet... needless to say, most of the day was spent working on that faucet (and fixing the small leak in the supply line I talked about earlier)...
During the baby's nap, my wife was tired and wanted to lay down.... so I got cleaned up, and went to lay down with her... as I'm crawling into bed, she mentions the warranty claim we still hadn't made with the storm door company (defective screen) and the Sears issue we had while shopping on Sat..... So I go call Sears... an hour later, she wakes up... we work on getting the pics/info/etc for the storm door claim done, and then the baby wakes up... his parents come and get him... I go back to plumbing/etc... well, after a run for parts to fix the leak.... 8:30 rolls around and I haven't really stopped all day, and I finally finish everything in the basement and get things cleaned up (for the most part).... I head upstairs and get cleaned up again... we start watching TV/etc and she says "we never spend time together anymore".... which turned into "we're always working on the house"... which turned into "well you still haven't fixed this this this and that"...
So how do you balance the "This has to get fixed" and the "We want to replace/redo/etc this" and still stay sane? And moreover, how in the world do you keep your wife happy if the "honey-do" list never... ever... ends and she has the "oh, you finished this.... can we work on this now" mentality?
sorry for the long almost-rant-like post.....
