Expecting

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To any other people expecting their first child here is a glimpse into hell:

This weekend

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Friday night work Bingo from 6 PM till 1:30 AM for you eldest kids HS Band. Consist if walking around the bingo floor and selling extra bingo cards and other "****". Cash business - everyone seems to pay in $20's and the money smells like it was at the wrong strip club. Get home at 2 am, crash immediately.

Saturday morning- it's your youngest 12th bday. He hasn't received anything from ether grandparent- a early UPS deliver takes care of one set of grand parents. Terrific they got him the same thing you did! Even though you told them months ago what you were getting him. :-(

Middle child has horse riding lessons from 12-2, normally this is a good thing cause there is an awesome running trail that you get to do something (for yourself) instead you drive to nearest town (Boulder,CO) to find another gift for your youngest son.

Oh did I mention this is your wife's weekend to work?

Scurrying around boulder, find a replacement gift. Pick up middle child at 2:00. Great I am ahead of schedule. Youngest kids friends coming over at 4 PM for kbday party(spend the night **** is getting old but we will let this happen for some reason)

Get home around 2:30. Daughter "remembers" that she was supposed to also go to a bday party at 6! Clean up house a little. Thinking you still have time. First kid shows up at 4. Parent talks for about 30 minutes ... Your are antsy cause you need to get a gift card for last minute bday party . Scramble out of house after last kid shows up for our bday party. See other kids parents in Kroger who I am sure are like. Who is watching our kids? Grab a few things. Dash back home.. Take daughter to her friends house. Swing by and order pizza... Movie status at 7:46. Maybe you go ahea bad but tickets early cause it's Saturday night and line will be long? Yes you do that (good move). Go pack to House... Pizza never shows up. U call, oh I guess you said take out cause your tired.. So they deliver... It's now 7:10. Good thing you have those tickets.... Wife he's home early from work (anything before 8 PM is early). She is happy her kid is having okay time but really wants to do "the cake". You tell her no time for cake you have had hellish day.. Run out of house (you can tell she is pissed an your are pissed that you are dealing with this all by yourself) but that's life when your spouse works weekends...

Scramble to movies. Getting those tix early was a great idea- place is still packed! Leave theatre around 10. 4 12 year old

Boys wound up as hell so even though you feel like **** you know they need to get some energy out before they go hole and terrorize the house (wake up the wife who has to get up at 5 am for work). Kill time at wal Mart, Kroger, fr about an hour.. Get back at. 11- threaten to kill them if they make any noise (they actually go to bed easily). You sleep on couch to manage noise.... Wife wakes u up at 6 am - crawl into your normal bed an sleep for a. Hour. Wake up and stay feeding those *******s who are already up! Parents never show up on time. The ones that do like to talk.. You need friends but not these people... Finally at 10 am they are all gone...then you forget you have a kid at a sleep over you have to get. Drive over there . Try and not talk... But they like to talk.. Get home around 11:00--- to be continued....
This made my day. Awesome.

 
It would be nice if Obama care provided me the opportunity to take about a 30 day leave of absence from being a parent ;)

 
I remember when @FLBuff PE started this thread; we were both getting ready to become fathers to girls. Cannot believe they are about to turn 12!

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