Am I being unreasonable?

[TXengrChickPE]

With less than a week left until the exam, I was feeling ok (not great, but not bad) about the exam. I had planned on using this weekend to finalize my preparations. I had a few things that I needed to print and/or make copies of. We have a printer/copier at home, but it is SLOW! So, I told my husband that I would be going into the office for an hour or so today (Saturday) to get that stuff done.

He got all pissy about it and said that he couldn't see why it couldn't be done when I'm at work on Monday. I tried to explain that with 40-50 of us using one printer, people get pissed if that printer is being used during work hours for non-work stuff. He said that since my boss told me that he wants me to take the exam, it is work related. I feel like it's not right to hog the printer (and be "on the clock") when I'm printing this stuff. I also want to have time tomorrow to make sure everything is tabbed and ready to go.

He still had an attitude when I left. He's been grumpy for a couple of weeks because I'm not spending enough time with him. I keep telling him that we both agreed that this was important, and that once the exam is over, I will have time for him again.

So, I gotta know. Should I have stayed home today? Which one of us is wrong?

 

[roadwreck]

I don't think either of you is wrong. I don't like using the copier at work during business hours for things like that either. Like you said your husband is probably just upset that you have been spending a lot of your spare time studying and not spending time with him. He needs to get over it. You'll be finished in 6 days. If he has put up with it this long he can last a few more days without your undivided attention.

 

[Polysloman]

[so, I gotta know. Should I have stayed home today? Which one of us is wrong?

 

[IlPadrino]

When I print during the work day, I try to break it up so that I'm not hogging the printer. I won't do more than 30 or so pages at a time.

At this point, it's all about "getting 'er done!" Do whatever needs doing because time is running out. A week before the exam is no time for procrastinating.

 

[Guest]

Completely agree with all of the aforementioned statements. This is your last weekend before the big dance and keeping busy with last minute organization should be at the TOP of your list!

Having said that, I have a wife who gets particularly pissed that I am not 'helping out' around the house because I am on a crash course to finish/defend my graduate project whilst taking on a class and a VERY BUSY travel schedule starting the last week of October. I just take the <_< looks and keep rolling. You can always patch up some hurt feelings - you MUST wait a minimum of 6 months to retake the exam not to mention the added fees, headaches, inconveniences, etc.

Focus on what needs to get done

JR

 

[TXengrChickPE]

^ it'd be at least a year for me. My baby is due April 13th... the exam is the 11th... I won't be there!

 

[IlPadrino]

So, I gotta know. Should I have stayed home today? Which one of us is wrong?

I thought about this some more (sorry, I've got duty ALL night and it's very dull around here... nothing to do but watch some football and read EB), and I think maybe you've made what might be called a "tactical error". I recommend you do what the husband wants... this way it becomes win-win. Either you pass (BIG WIN) or you fail and then can tell your husband it was because you didn't give the last little push. It might be good for a very large payback (which I'd call a LITTLE WIN).

Kind of like when I bet against the Mets. If they win (and I lose the bet), I'm happy. If they lose, I win the bet and I'm still a little happy.

 

[Jennifer Price]

TXengrChick,

As a woman/wife taking this exam, I can completely empathize with you. I know there have been times that I have had to put studying ahead of my husband's needs and have had the questions asked of me, "why can't you stay home? why can't you clean more? why are you wasting a perfectly good Saturday indoors? etc" But thankfully these questions are rare (although heart wrenching b/c I would much rather be with him than studying) and he has been very patient/understanding about this whole exam thing.

I know/understand where my husband is coming from when the attitude starts and have to remind him that this will all be over with (hopefully - fingers crossed) in 6 days. I know that me being stressed out about the exam has also brought added stress in our house so I think that he may also be picking up on my anxiety.

Just keep reminding him that in 6 days, 11 hours, 48 minutes that this will be over and that life will return as planned (plus you guys will get to start planning for the new baby ).

 

[Undertaker]

Guy is a tool. Excuse my honesty. You had worked so hard so why does he have to make an issue the last weekend before the test? Stupidity 101. Should that be my wife I would be at her service one more week.

 

[Dark Knight]

I fell your pain TXChick.Went thur the same with my wifey. She made me promised her that passing or failing that was going to be my last try so we can talk about unreasonable. Do not let that bother you and keep your focus.

This little obstacle will just add flavor to that passing.

Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Kind of like when I bet against the Mets. If they win (and I lose the bet), I'm happy. If they lose, I win the bet and I'm still a little happy.

Don't make me relive the last two weeks of the baseball regular season. My therapist told me I was making real progress. :suicide1: Nice to see another fan here though.

As for the original question, I think many of us have been on both sides of this argument before. You need to do whatever you need at this point in order to pass this thing, regardless of how much time it takes or how much you see the hubby.

If he's unhappy about this now, he's not going to like it any better in 6 months or a year when you have to do it again because you couldn't prepare enough to pass now. Considering it will advance your career and bring in more $$$ each month, it's in his best interest for you to pass too.

I can see why he's grumpy though. He probably feels neglected and underappreciated. It's a tough spot. If he's just venting I wouldn't worry too much. If he's really trying to detract from your studies then it needs to be addressed.

 

[NCcarguy]

I kinda agree with undertaker on this one. I have had to have a FEW discussions with my wife about this exam, her role right now is to NOT make my life more difficult than it would be without her in it. I think she understands that clearly, but the few times she has forgotten, she's been reminded quickly.

This is a very stressful, difficult event in your life, and to get it behind you is extremely important, not only for your self satisfaction, but your longterm financial stability. I know many that seem to think becoming a PE doesn't really mean much, but I don't agree. I think it's a badge that let's people know you've achieved a certain level of knowledge in this business regardless of how you use it.

There will be plenty of time after the exam for family things, but this next week needs to be all about you! tell him to quit being so co-dependent.

 

[TXengrChickPE]

Thanks everybody. I think he figured out all on his own that he was wrong... when I got home he apologized...

And, while I was gone, he took our 6yr old out shopping for Halloween decorations AND stopped to get her a CD that I had promised her. That was cool cuz I was getting worried about how the Halloween stuff was gonna get done, and I wasn't planning on getting the CD until after the exam.

Then, after the kid went to bed, he asked if there was anything he could do this week that would help me out. I told him that as long as he managed to keep the house reasonably clean, keep everyone reasonably well fed, and make sure all the bills get paid on time, we could deal with the rest NEXT weekend. I also said that it would be nice if he and the kid got most of the outside decorations done. He agreed, and said that he'd do what he could to keep everything low-key for the next couple of days.

 

[Guest]

^^^ Cool!! :appl: :appl:

Just a few more days !!! :woot:

JR

 

[ktulu]

I agree. Hopefully it will give you the push needed to succeed.

Good Luck!

ktulu

 

[Undertaker]

Taking back what I said before.He is not a tool.We all make mistakes but only a few recognize and fix them.Way to go hubby.

 

[Dleg]

Good thing that he apologized, because he was wrong. You've got to get this test behind you, and he's just got to understand that. In another week it won't even be an issue.

 

[Enginnneeer]

Your very reasonable! He is total wrong. Do what you need to do to be prepared and in your happy place for the exam. I find its faster going in to the office on the weekend. Not to mention it gives you piece of mind.

He did make up for it after you came home. And he hit the nail on the head with figuring you need a very low-key, household until the big day.

If you fail, he may feel guilty for adding even more stress this weekend, poor guy. With all that guilt, he will definitely take care of the 2 kids and house for you to ace the Oct 08 exam.

Bonus points for you taking the exam while pregnant.

 

[TXengrChickPE]

Bonus points for you taking the exam while pregnant.

Uhhh... that wasn't exactly planned... but thanks!

 

[bigray76]

I did most of my major copying and printing either before everyone got here or after everyone left at night. I came in on a saturday to do nothing other than print out the MUTCD and HCM - then raid the supply closet to find binders and use the industrial sized hole puncher we have.

The other things I needed to print here lately have been totally work related - LEED, GGHC, ICRA Requirements - so hogging the printer/copier was justified.

-Ray