October 2016 Spam-athon Thread

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Stay on the couch.

I've been sleeping on the couch since the baby arrived. It's been nice.

 
I think I'll stay home today and spam and drink wine...
Fixt.

I only pay attention to baseball starting in October. 
Baseball is still on? :huh:

soooo tired!!!  snickette was waking up like every hr or so last night, she is super congested
Sudafed with sleep-aid. :thumbs:

coffee is nasty.
No, soda is nasty. Me thinks you've never had good coffee. Soda destroys your stomach lining. Coffee has anti-oxidants.

 
^why is that?
Don't want more babies.

The biggest reason is her snoring. But she's also nursing in bed and I'm a very light sleeper and wouldn't be able to sleep for the 2hrs it takes the baby to eat with the lamp on.

 
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So consensus is that we should own a comfortable couch before having kids. Got it. 
that's why we bought a comfortable lazyboy rocker/ recliner for the baby's room.   person getting up with baby has comfy spot and the other person gets to sleep in normal setting 

 
food-drink-Yvi7jSNEewY80


 
So I don't have babies or wives but I do want to pass! If i knew in April that all I had to do to pass was spam, maybe I could have gone to more concerts this summer :D  

am0V9VV_700b.jpg
 

 
You got this. Just keep your mouth shut and your pants on.
Speaking of keeping your pants on, I read this yesterday on Reddit.  It's long, but funny.  There's a TL:DR for the lazy at the bottom.

Nov 1st. 65 degrees in chicago. Signs of the apocalypse? Perhaps. Also signs that i get to ride my motorcycle to work one last time.

Expecting a light sprinkle, i suited up in full gear this morning. This includes windbreaker/snowpants esque pants over my jeans. After i got to work i went into my office to remove the gear. When i got to my desk i saw some invoices had been rejected and needed attention, so i paged the office secretary into my office so i could show them to her.

Then it was like a whirlwind of F-ups. I've been calling my SO "honey" for quite a while now ironically. (we find 50's pet names funny, she calls me doll-face)

So when the secretary comes into the room, i accidentally refer to her as "honey" which prompts a look but i played if off as best i could (in retrospect, not that well) and handed her the invoice. A rejected invoice is a bad thing for our company, as it means we don't get paid for almost another week, so she's a bit worried she may have screwed up. I told her it's nothing to worry about and i swear to god the words out of my mouth were "I'm sure we can work this out" as i unbuttoned, then unzipped my over-pants.

She bolted to her feet and yelled "excuse me!" loud enough that people outside my office looked over through the much larger than i previously thought it was window, to see her yelling at me while i had a hand on my zipper.

I felt my face get hot but figured the best course of action at this point was to keep taking off the over pants so everyone could see i had jeans on under them. So as i said "no, look i'm wearing jeans underneath" and laughed nervously, i slid the pants down.

And of course, both the outer pants and my jeans slid down, because why not. i guess i never buttoned my jeans in my haste to ride this morning, so when i grabbed the top of my riding pants to pull them down, i inadvertently grabbed my jeans too. now i'm standing in front of her, pants halfway down, showing off far too much of my untanned thighs. People are still looking in the window at this performance as i scrambled to pull up my jeans and she ran out of my office.

Took me about an hour to work up the nerve to go in and explain it to her but she was pretty understanding. We both laughed about it, but i'm dreading the new nicknames that will stem from this incident.

TL;DR: wore motorcycle gear to work, called my secretary "Honey" and took my pants off while asking her to correct her mistake.

 
^ LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

 
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