Date Advice

[Fudgey]

I've managed to line up a date for this weekend with a lovely lady from our tech support division. I've had the occasional date, but really haven't had a serious girlfriend since my ex-gf broke up with me after my troubles a couple years ago. I'm thinking maybe dinner at this sushi/hibachi place I like followed by a trip into the city to see a comedy show. A light and easy-going evening hopefully.

Here's what I'm worried about. It still bothers me how my last relationship ended. For those of you who weren't around, my stomach was upset one night after dinner, and I wasn't able to make it to the bathroom without soiling myself, and her and the bed as well. I don't want to repeat this.

I've read some of your comments over the months, and maybe you guys are right that I do have some issues with my GI tract. I'm just not sure what to do on my date. Should I level with her? If I wear a man diaper it will be obvious. And if I slip in a buttplug it will be tough to sit down and I will get real fidgety. Plus I've never liked them in the past.

If anyone has any advice, I would really appreciate it.

 

[wilheldp_PE]

Immodium Advanced.

 

[Fluvial]

Don't eat anything for 24 hours prior. And don't eat anything on the date, either.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

Hydraulic cement.

 

[Chucktown PE]

Fudey, I'm starting to notice some wrinkles in your stories here. At some point there was a girl in Denver that you didn't defecate on, I think you just took a nasty dump while she was puking in the bathroom. You failed to mention her above.

As for the diaper, I wouldn't do it. I think it will lull you into a false sense of complacency. And what happens if you do unload a brown soupy mess in your trowser safety mechanism? When my little girl unloads in her diapers it still stinks, so I'm just assuming the same would happen with human diapers.

First, I think you need to see a gastrointerologist, what your colon is doing is not normal. Two, to get by this date in the interim, I would go with a combination of immodium, eating a couple of pieces of white bread, hydraulic cement, and a half gallon of pepto bismol. For dinner, you should only eat the rice, no meat, no soy sauce, just plain white rice.

 

[Ble_PE]

As for the diaper, I wouldn't do it. I think it will lull you into a false sense of complacency. And what happens if you do unload a brown soupy mess in your trowser safety mechanism? When my little girl unloads in her diapers it still stinks, so I'm just assuming the same would happen with human diapers.

What the heck kind of girl do you have??

 

[KEG]

And if I slip in a buttplug it will be tough to sit down and I will get real fidgety. Plus I've never like them in the past.

never liked them in the past? As in, you've done it before? WTF?

 

[KEG]

Immodium Advanced.

+1

 

[snickerd3]

First, I think you need to see a gastrointerologist, what your colon is doing is not normal. Two, to get by this date in the interim, I would go with a combination of immodium, eating a couple of pieces of white bread, hydraulic cement, and a half gallon of pepto bismol. For dinner, you should only eat the rice, no meat, no soy sauce, just plain white rice.

but then we wont have any stories that make laugh out loud or laugh ourselves to tears.

 

[Dexman PE]

As for the diaper, I wouldn't do it. I think it will lull you into a false sense of complacency. And what happens if you do unload a brown soupy mess in your trowser safety mechanism? When my little girl unloads in her diapers it still stinks, so I'm just assuming the same would happen with human diapers.

What the heck kind of girl do you have??

I picked up on that too. I hear some people treat their pets like children.

 

[Dexman PE]

First, I think you need to see a gastrointerologist, what your colon is doing is not normal. Two, to get by this date in the interim, I would go with a combination of immodium, eating a couple of pieces of white bread, hydraulic cement, and a half gallon of pepto bismol. For dinner, you should only eat the rice, no meat, no soy sauce, just plain white rice.

but then we wont have any stories that make laugh out loud or laugh ourselves to tears.

And ultimately not recieve any wierd looks from co-workers who walk by while said laughing/crying.

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

First, I think you need to see a gastrointerologist, what your colon is doing is not normal. Two, to get by this date in the interim, I would go with a combination of immodium, eating a couple of pieces of white bread, hydraulic cement, and a half gallon of pepto bismol. For dinner, you should only eat the rice, no meat, no soy sauce, just plain white rice.

but then we wont have any stories that make laugh out loud or laugh ourselves to tears.

Or make us appreciate the value of a properly functioning sphincter.

I've read some of your comments over the months, and maybe you guys are right that I do have some issues with my GI tract. I'm just not sure what to do on my date. Should I level with her? If I wear a man diaper it will be obvious. And if I slip in a buttplug it will be tough to sit down and I will get real fidgety. Plus I've never liked them in the past.

Am I the only one who noticed this?

 

[z06dustin]

Why not just find a chick that's into scat?

 

[Chucktown PE]

As for the diaper, I wouldn't do it. I think it will lull you into a false sense of complacency. And what happens if you do unload a brown soupy mess in your trowser safety mechanism? When my little girl unloads in her diapers it still stinks, so I'm just assuming the same would happen with human diapers.

What the heck kind of girl do you have??

I picked up on that too. I hear some people treat their pets like children.

She just turned two, so she's still not potty trained.

 

[wilheldp_PE]

She just turned two, so she's still not potty trained.

So if you're not potty trained, you're not human?

 

[Dark Knight]

Fudgey,

I love you like a brother kid, but going to a comedy show after dinner is not smart, specially with your history of gastrointestinal problems. DO NOT DO IT ld-025: . What will happen if you are having "issues" :mf_Flush: after dinner and the comedian says something really funny. You get the point, don't you? :blowup:

 

[Dexman PE]

She just turned two, so she's still not potty trained.

So if you're not potty trained, you're not human?

Once they turn 2, they go into a cocoon and by the time they're 3, they emerge as a beautiful 3 year old...

Wait, mine didn't do that...

 

[Kephart P.E.]

Fudgy,

+1 on the don't eat anything suggestion.

I suggest taking her to a zoo. This way if an accident happens you can blame the smell on the other animals.

It sounds to me like you have some sort of IBS issue that can be aggravated by specific foods, alcohol, and stress. Until you figure out what the problem is every date will be like playing Russian roulette. Except when you lose the end result seems worse to me.

So an empty stomach/colon is key.

Also, get to the doctor and see if they can figure out your issues or prescribe you something.

 

[Chucktown PE]

She just turned two, so she's still not potty trained.

So if you're not potty trained, you're not human?

Once they turn 2, they go into a cocoon and by the time they're 3, they emerge as a beautiful 3 year old...

Wait, mine didn't do that...

I'm not sure I'm following this string correctly. To clarify, my two year old little girl is not potty trained. Therefore, she poops in her diapers. It stinks. Then either me or my wife changes said dirty diaper. This process is repeated a few times a day as she also pees in her diapers as well. When she is potty trained she will wear underwear and this won't be necessary.

 

[snickerd3]

She just turned two, so she's still not potty trained.

So if you're not potty trained, you're not human?

Once they turn 2, they go into a cocoon and by the time they're 3, they emerge as a beautiful 3 year old...

Wait, mine didn't do that...

I'm not sure I'm following this string correctly. To clarify, my two year old little girl is not potty trained. Therefore, she poops in her diapers. It stinks. Then either me or my wife changes said dirty diaper. This process is repeated a few times a day as she also pees in her diapers as well. When she is potty trained she will wear underwear and this won't be necessary.

you said you figured human diapers would smell just as bad as your daughter's poop diapers...hence the what's your daughter if she isn't human.