Bad advice to previous poster

[Ramnares P.E.]

Tell them you knocked up your wife's sister.

Friend getting married, what do I get her for a gift?

 

[TESTY]

Vacuum Cleaner, Washer and Dryer, Cooking Supplies, Masseuse lessons, 1950's Housewife lessons.

Getting divorced, what do I get her for going away present?

 

[knight1fox3]

How about a trebuchet?

I don't want to take (2) courses this summer but must if I want to graduate next spring. What to do?

 

[matt267 PE]

Just drop out. Think about the $ you'll save.

How do I reduce my dependance on caffeine?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Switch to meth.

Upcoming job interview for another position within the same company, don't really want the job. Should I still interview?

 

[catinthehat]

Yes, a chair on the party planning commitee should not be taken lightly. Progressive resonsibility is the name of the game.

I'm about to give my 2 weeks notice to my current employer, what should I say?

 

[Supe]

IT is restricting our ability to burn to disc or write to a USB drive. What to do?

 

[Ramnares P.E.]

Call IT and say they're obstructing your black market porn dvd sales.

Really want to leave early today, how do I tell my boss?

 

[Supe]

Call IT and say they're obstructing your black market porn dvd sales.

Really want to leave early today, how do I tell my boss?

This technique really is multifaceted:

Want to leave early today. How can I keep our VP's from checking my office to see if I'm here?

 

[Ramnares P.E.]

Set a bunch of fires in spaced apart offices, including theirs.

Need to buy a mother's day gift, what should I get?

 

[Supe]

Have three calendars in here, and am too lazy to flip them all to May. What to do?

 

[P-E]

easy, take someone else's calendar and shred your three

I feel the need to burn something, but what?

 

[TESTY]

Have Tommy Chong roll up his famous "quarter pounder" joint which is mostly Maui Wowie and part Labrador.

How do I get my ex-wife to keep bothering me to deliver my daughter, (who we have shared custody), clothes and other items that she left at my house?

 

[Supe]

To keep bothering you? Marry her again.

How do I get my dogs to stop being scared of thunder and fireworks?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Lock them up in a kennel outside during the next thunderstorm and shoot fireworks at them until they stop whining.

Getting transferred downtown where it is known work is boring. How do I keep things interesting?

 

[matt267 PE]

Date the new bosses daughter.

How do I stop procrastinating?

 

[NakedOrangie]

Put some arsenic into your morning coffee. No work to do if you're dead!

I'm trying to start a rainy day fund, how should I go about it?

 

[knight1fox3]

Loan shark. Preferably one from Vegas or Atlantic City.

Trying to handle 2 grad courses and work. Any recommendations?

 

[knight1fox3]

I'll just answer myself here to reincarnate this one. Just persevere right up until the end and then drop both courses.

What to make for dinner?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Tofu wrapped in kale bacon.

How do I recruit one or two more coworkers for tomorrow's company softball tourney?