I know for a fact - and everybody knows this - because I heard it from many, many, many people - you know it and everyone knows it - that the results - and these will be the best results of any test ever taken - will be released on Friday.
Right before you called somebody in the office said, "If we get one more call from one of those impatient engineers, we should delay the results another week!"
Just kidding. I'm still hoping for Friday.