Why would a Terminator make me her *** slave?

[Fudgey]

I keep having this fantasy with Cameron, the new protector Terminator on the Sarah Connor Chronicle. It's the same actress who played River on Firefly. My problem though is my fantasy doesn't seem to have any logical starting point that would make it consitent with how Terminators functionm much less fit into the overal arc established in the show.

How can someone fantasize if their 'efforts' don't work with the show's offical canon?

My theory is that she fully functional and needs a test subject. I am her test subject. Problem is the show is based in L.A. and I live in Illinois. Why would she be in Illinois or me in L.A. when I am oviously still here.

I'm definitely stuck on this point. Any ideas out there? I could use a little help on this one.

 

[Fudgey]

Hey do you think this belongs in shoot the breeze or here? I posted it here on accident but its kind of a rant.

 

[Dark Knight]

I keep having this fantasy with Cameron, the new protector Terminator on the Sarah Connor Chronicle. It's the same actress who played River on Firefly. My problem though is my fantasy doesn't seem to have any logical starting point that would make it consitent with how Terminators functionm much less fit into the overal arc established in the show.
How can someone fantasize if their 'efforts' don't work with the show's offical canon?

My theory is that she fully functional and needs a test subject. I am her test subject. Problem is the show is based in L.A. and I live in Illinois. Why would she be in Illinois or me in L.A. when I am oviously still here.

I'm definitely stuck on this point. Any ideas out there? I could use a little help on this one.

If you cannot go over that silly problem let me know. I would gladly be her *** slave. :eyebrows:

C'mmon Fudgey. It is just ***. There is no logic involved in that...just ***.

 

[Wolverine]

Everyone knows how difficult it is to coordinate a jump through the time-space continuum, so it's easy to imagine how she might end up in Illinois instead of LA. Plus, I think it all depends on the jump point. Maybe in 2031, Illinois is a hot place to be, especially after the bankrupt Big 3 turn to manufacturing Terminators after the US car market finally finishes it's swirling descent into the toilet bowl sometime around 2012.

As to how her programming gets, ahem, properly oriented towards the most important task a female cyberdine system could be asked to perform, perhaps she gets a little bump on the head or something, or maybe she has a bizarre accident involving a toaster and some spilled water. Maybe you have some very important information that she needs to get out of you and she decides to snu-snu you to death to get it.

It could happen.

 

[frecoder78]

All I have to say is as a huge Terminator fan the series definately doesn't do the movie justice! Very disappointing!

 

[TouchDown]

snu-snu you to death to get it.

Futurama reference?

Fudgeman... Open up your mind, man.

Why would she be in Illinois or me in L.A. when I am oviously still here.

You hear of a new restaurant opening up in L.A. that is premiering the "Mammoth Sandwich". It in fact is a sandwich made of Mammoth after a freak scientist uses DNA cloning and baby elephants he stole from the L.A. zoo to create Mammoths, which he then carves up and serves. You purchase the first plane ticket to L.A. to partake in the sandwich of all sandwiches. Upon arrival at LAX, you feel like you're being followed, you stop in the restroom to do your normal business and notice as you're AC slatering, that someone in the next stall is rubbing their foot against your pantleg - all Larry Craig style. Unsure of your situation, you bust down the door to the next stall and find that the person in the next stall is dead. He has been choked to death and the leg rubbing against you was him flailing about asking for help.

Shaken, you run out of the restroom. People are beginning to look at you funny and you feel a draft. You have forgotten to pull up your pants. Damn it. You pull up your pants and embarassed leave your luggage and want to get out of there and you have a panging for this sandwich still. Hailing a taxi, you realize you're being tailed - some hot chick with sunglasses is right behind you. It's getting late and the driver takes you straight to the restaurant, when you get there they are closing the doors. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The dark car that was following you has now parked across the street and is watching you. You wait for everyone in the restaurant to lock up and leave. You bust the window out and sneak in a side door. There on the counter is a Mammoth sandwich that is fresh and beckonning your frenzied consumption.

You then hear the side door creak open. It's the terminator chick. She says she had to meet the one who was AC slatering in the stall next to the guy she killed. She didn't understand going to the restroom that way and needed to build information for her database on why anyone would use the toilet in that fashion.

You take a bite of the sandwich, she walks toward you,

You can fill in the blanks...

arty-smiley-048:

 

[Dleg]

^^That was beautiful! I nominate Touchdown for EB Post of the Year!

I was just going to postulate that the only reason a "female" terminator might be interested in *** would be for some sort of reproductive purposes. But that makes no sense at all - terminators are made by other robots, they do not reproduce sexually. And, because their purpose is to terminate humans, her only interest in your reproductive organs would be to insure they no longer work, so that you cannot reproduce.

Thus, I have come to the conclusion that, because the female terminator is HOT, and therefore attracts male humans, her sole purpose must be to stop humans from reproducing by TEARING YOUR BALLS OFF. Probably with some sort of bear-trap like mechanism in her "crotch."

Now, on the other hand, you could just simply fantasize about being the makeup artist for the actress who plays the female terminator. Your fantasy could involve you pretending to be gay, gaining her trust, and finally having her ask you to assist her by testing how smooth the wax job for her last Brazilian was...

 

[squishles10]

I need a beer.

 

[frazil]

fixed it.

I need a beer cigarette.