The basement boys

[wilheldp_PE]

My parents told me very clearly what was expected of me. They told me they would pay for me to go to college anywhere in the country that I wanted to go as long as I made As and Bs. Anything less than that and I was to get a job and move out of the house. If I got arrested I was told very clearly that I should call someone else because my parents weren't coming to bail me out of jail. I never tested them on these things. I plan to offer my kids the same deal.

My parents had almost exactly the same deal with me and my sister. They also bought us our first cars. My sister is a lawyer and I'm an engineer and neither of us have had the need to move back home since we got our undergraduate degrees, so I think their plan worked out just fine

 

[Supe]

We haven't spanked yet because we don't think they'll understand it. I'm hoping we never have to.

We keep away from smacking MIAF's daughter on the butt. More so because she talks about everything, and with a custody battle on the horizon, pre school teachers, etc, we can envision a nightmare on that front. Sad part is, she's a total ******* whenever she comes back from her visitations with ******** on the weekends, because she's so bored there and they just let her run wild.

In lieu of spankings, we have done a number of things. If she doesn't eat dinner, no dessert and no cartoons before bed. Time outs a-plenty. Worse than that, I make a "phone call" to Santa to put her on the bad girls list. If she's worse than that, she comes home to see her room COMPLETELY devoid of just about every toy except maybe one or two.

The funny part is that now, I barely even have to raise my voice. On the rare occasion that she misbehaves or decides to whine or cry, I just give a stern "excuse me," and she shuts up INSTANTLY, lets me say what I need to, makes the proclamation that she wants "to be a good girl now", and is on her merry way.

 

[Flyer_PE]

We rarely have to spank my son. Taking away toys and privileges almost always does the trick. My favorite is the "That's not fair!!" comment. My response usually "Life's not fair son, get used to it.".

 

[Chucktown PE]

We haven't spanked yet because we don't think they'll understand it. I'm hoping we never have to.

We keep away from smacking MIAF's daughter on the butt. More so because she talks about everything, and with a custody battle on the horizon, pre school teachers, etc, we can envision a nightmare on that front. Sad part is, she's a total ******* whenever she comes back from her visitations with ******** on the weekends, because she's so bored there and they just let her run wild.

In lieu of spankings, we have done a number of things. If she doesn't eat dinner, no dessert and no cartoons before bed. Time outs a-plenty. Worse than that, I make a "phone call" to Santa to put her on the bad girls list. If she's worse than that, she comes home to see her room COMPLETELY devoid of just about every toy except maybe one or two.

The funny part is that now, I barely even have to raise my voice. On the rare occasion that she misbehaves or decides to whine or cry, I just give a stern "excuse me," and she shuts up INSTANTLY, lets me say what I need to, makes the proclamation that she wants "to be a good girl now", and is on her merry way.

We have definitely been able to discipline without spanking so far, but we (Mrs. Chucktown and me) are on the same page on just about all of our parenting issues. If we aren't we talk about it after the kids are asleep. I could imagine that it would make it very confusing for the kid and very difficult for the responsible parents to be in a situation like yours.

I thought your custody troubles were over because ******** was convicted of assault or something?

 

[jmbeck]

I may have mentioned this here before, but it amazes me how many guys I know my age (I'm 29) who can't DO anything. I was lucky enough to be taught by my dad from an early age how to do things, like car repair, home repair, landscaping, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm no master mechanic, but I can change my own oil and diagnose most problems. It completely has to do with my father taking the time to teach me how to do things, which gave me the confidence to learn on my own as well. I know guys like me my own age, but we're outnumbered (best I can tell) by those that are scared to death to try and fix anything thereselves.
When I realized this a few years ago, I made sure to thank him.

Exactly. I never realized how much I was learning from my father (and mother, for that matter) until I got my own place. As you said, I have friends that have to call a "handyman" for everything at their house. It's not just people our age either. I dated a girl in 2005 and her father called an electrician to replace a light fixture in their bathroom. Total cost, $350. I just looked at him in shock. Here was a man in his mid to late 50's, and has zero ability to do anything around a house.

My parents also never got upset when faced with a problem. I know people that totally lose their mind when things go a little bit south. That is one of the greatest gifts I received from my parents is the ability to focus on the solution rather than the problem.

In closing, I blame the weeniefication of the American Male on all you little yankee wusses.

 

[Chucktown PE]

In closing, I blame the weeniefication of the American Male on all you little yankee wusses.

lusone:

 

[Mutha PE PS]

Moral of the story: Not everyone gets a trophy in real in life. There are winners and losers. Kids need to learn this fact early on so they can cope with real life situations. I have an 8yr old and a yr old and have been told many times already that "I'm the worst Dad in the world!"; But I'm ok with that. They are learning there are consequences and hard gets rewarded and bad choices have consequences. They should be able life when everything doesn't always go as planned.

 

[Supe]

I thought your custody troubles were over because ******** was convicted of assault or something?

He was convicted, but they have yet to extradite him to VA, and they wouldn't even amend the restraining order to give supervised visitation. The legal system shines yet again.

 

[Supe]

In closing, I blame the weeniefication of the American Male on all you little yankee wusses.

lusone:

BTW, I was a "Yankee Wuss" (wasn't born in TX, but got there as fast as I could?), but got my fair share of *** whoopings. My father wasn't mechanically inclined whatsoever, but did show me the handy man basics. Despite both my parents being die hard democrats, I managed to stray from the pack, and was raised as lower middle class, not the Greenwich snoots who had to call Martha Stewart to wipe their *** for them.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

My Mom said she ended up spanking us because nothing else worked. She said we were such happy children that we just dealt with any other form of punishment as a new thing to experience.

Seperate us, we were happy, send us too our rooms, we were happy, take away toys, we were happy, send us outside we were happy. She once said, "Honestly Captain. I sent you to your room once and later found you pulling hair off your teddy bear. I asked what you were doing and you pulled a tuft out then watched it slowly descend to the bedspread. You said, "Look, mommy! Its the Lunar Lander!"

"Spanking was the only thing that made you get the point you were being punished."

 

[MA_PE]

yes I did it. I deserve a good spanking.

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Thank you sir, may I have another?

 

[Chucktown PE]

I asked what you were doing and you pulled a turd out then watched it slowly descend to the bedspread. You said, "Look, mommy! Its the Lunar Lander!"
"Spanking was the only thing that made you get the point you were being punished."

Gross. If my children were dropping turds on their beds I think I would resort to spanking them.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

I asked what you were doing and you pulled a turd out then watched it slowly descend to the bedspread. You said, "Look, mommy! Its the Lunar Lander!"
"Spanking was the only thing that made you get the point you were being punished."

Gross. If my children were dropping turds on their beds I think I would resort to spanking them.

The turds looked like the Command Module.

 

[Kephart P.E.]

I don't think you need to hit or spank your kids, yes it was done to me on rare occasion, but outside of the child doing something pretty dangerous, say running across a busy parking lot (saw this a couple of weeks ago) I don't think it is warranted.

It seems to me the main problem is that my friends with children don't seem to understand discipline, the purpose of discipline is to help a child learn how to control their behavior and emotions.

It seems most parents today are much more concerned about positive reinforcement and self esteem of their kid. I am not saying that isn't important just that I would rather have a highly disciplined child with average self esteem than the other way around.

Maybe this is because so many adults today were raised by just one parent and grew up with low self esteem and are now trying to fix a problem in their own lives thru their children.

 

[Santiagj]

I remember vividly the last time I got a "spanking". I was 13 at the time and was hanging out with the wrong crowd. I got home really late and my Dad asked me where I was. My response to him was "Why don't you go **** off." Next thing you know I caught the quickest back hand to the mouth. I swear my dad was trained by Bruce Lee. That was the one spanking that really straightened me out. I know I deserved it and I'm glad my parents didn't take my BS or else I would not be where I am now.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

My BIL said he was spanked every day until his younger sister got too old to spank.

Mom's favorite implement of punishment in the car was a flyswatter with a smiley face on it. I think that's where my sense of irony came from.

 

[Supe]

My BIL said he was spanked every day until his younger sister got too old to spank.
Mom's favorite implement of punishment in the car was a flyswatter with a smiley face on it. I think that's where my sense of irony came from.

I always got the wooden spoon.

One day I snuck it down to the basement and blasted it to pieces with a pellet gun.

 

[Dexman PE]

My BIL said he was spanked every day until his younger sister got too old to spank.
Mom's favorite implement of punishment in the car was a flyswatter with a smiley face on it. I think that's where my sense of irony came from.

I always got the wooden spoon.

One day I snuck it down to the basement and blasted it to pieces with a pellet gun.

We had the wooden spoon at grandma's while growing up. It had a 3" dia end on a 2' handle. The most torturous part was that she made us go get it for her. It only took one snap and we remembered it forever. If she even threatened "the spoon", we started crying and instantly promised to be nice. It ultimately snapped across my sister's *** when she was about 8 (because it was old, not because we got wailed on).

We try to employ several of the above discussed strategies (minus the wooden spoon). Usually starts with a threat to take away a toy/activity (TV, karate class) or to get sent up to their room which usually works. If the threat doesn't work, then we follow through with the removal of toy and/or sent to the room. If they are sent to their room, it means they are to sit quietly on their bed (no toys, stuffed animals, or even blankets/pillows). Then if after the above has been employed and they still act out, they'll get a swat on their butt. The only challenge is adjusting the swat to what the child is wearing (i.e. a lite tap is worthless if my daughter is wearing a pullup & jeans).

 

[Supe]

The spoon I got would never break on its own. The more it was used, the tighter and more compact the grain structure became, and the harder it felt.