How do snakes **********?

[Fudgey]

I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.

 

[roadwreck]

I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.

Ummm...

...fudgey, I don't think snakes are alone here. Aside from primates there aren't to many species in the animal kingdom that can get away with that act. I mean can you imagine trying to do the deed with a hoof? Yikes!

I guess dogs lick themselves, but I don't want to open that can of worms (I guess I already have).

Hooray for the opposable thumb!!

 

[jfusilloPE]

I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.

I have heard that reason that the tyranosauras rex was always so pissed off was because he had those short stubby arms and couldn't masterbater either

 

[MA_PE]

I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.

Why do you think they're wriggling/rubbling against everything in sight?

 

[Dark Knight]

I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.

Well, that is a change. From smelly stories to masturbating stories. Keep it up Fudgemaster. Just when I thought Fudgey could not surprise me anymore....

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

I think this article will point you in the right direction Fudger.

 

[Hill William]

I think this article will point you in the right direction Fudger.

Spines or hooks for anchoring, wow.

 

[FusionWhite]

If your ***** had spines or hooks on it would you even WANT to masterbate?

 

[Dark Knight]

"Only one is used at a time, and some evidence indicates males alternate use between copulations."

Don't know about you guys but I think it has to be great to be able to do that. They can alternate between them. Wao...that is cool. Can you imagine that?

He: "We are not done yet Honey. I still have another one that have not used tonight."

She: :bio:

 

[GCracker]

:bio:

I think this thread is head for the hall of fame!

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

He: "We are not done yet Honey. I still have another one that have not used tonight."She: :bio:

Here's the thing. You've got two of just about everything else - arms, eyes, kidneys, etc. But only one...uh...fun part. Having two might be cool.

 

[cement]

I don't know how your life works, but if I came at the old lady with that spiky looking thing, It would be :bio: X 2

 

[DVINNY]

Aw hell, I'm married, I don't get to use the ONE enough, I'd really be pissed off all the time if I had TWO to take care of.

 

[SuperAlpha]

my brother's dog "loves" his blanket.....twists it up into a ball and mounts it....several times per day...

 

[MA_PE]

my brother's dog "loves" his blanket.....twists it up into a ball and mounts it....several times per day...

you sound ticked off, doesn't he share? j/k

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Damn - MA bringing the pure pwnage!

B) :bio:

 

[Dleg]

I hate to break it to you Fudgey, but it appears snakes just aren't smart enough to **********.

http://news.softpedia.com/images//news2/Do-Animals-**********-2.jpg

Here's a great little excerpt from Answers.com that will answer many of the other questions posed on this thread, such as how goats **********:

Autoeroticism (masturbation)
It appears that many animals, both male and female, **********, both when partners are available and otherwise.

For example, http://www.petplace.com comments in its guide on assessing potential breeding stock purchases: "Masturbation is a normal behavior in all stallions that does not reduce semen production or performance in the breeding shed, and thus the use of devices to prevent such behavior is strongly discouraged and can be harmful to the stallion." [5]Likewise the paper "Sexual Behavior - Current Topics in Applied Ethology and Clinical Methods" by Sue McDonnell of the Equine Behavior Laboratory, University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine states:

"One example is the behavior known within the horse breeding industry as masturbation. This involves normal periodic erections and penile movements. This behavior, both from the descriptive field studies cited above and in extensive study of domestic horses, is now understood as normal, frequent behavior of male equids.

"#wp-_note-McDonnell.2CHenry.2CBristol.2C1991">[29]

Attempting to inhibit or punish masturbation, which is still a common practice of horse managers regionally around the world, often leads to increased masturbation and disturbances of normal breeding behavior (McDonnell and Hinze, in preparation). [6]

Sexual release seeking is common in both domestic and non-domestic species. For example, a video (non-explicit) showing a kangaroo masturbating, inadvertently caught during a TV broadcast, can be found here. Also, another video (explicit) of a kangaroo licking its own ***** can be found here. The female porcupine will use a stick as a vibrator, holding one end of a stick between her paws and walk around, straddling the stick as it bumps against the ground and vibrates against her genitalia. [7]

Sexologist Havelock Ellis in his 1927 "Studies in the Psychology of ***" identified bulls, goats, sheep, camels and elephants as species known to practice autoeroticism, adding of some other species:

I am informed by a gentleman who is a recognized authority on goats, that they sometimes take the ***** into the mouth and produce actual orgasm, thus practicing auto-fellatio. As regards ferrets ... "if the *****, when in heat, cannot obtain a dog [ie, male ferret] she pines and becomes ill. If a smooth pebble is introduced into the hutch, she will ********** upon it, thus preserving her normal health for one season. But if this artificial substitute is given to her a second season, she will not, as formerly, be content with it." [...] Blumenbach observed a bear act somewhat similarly on seeing other bears coupling, and hyenas, according to Ploss and Bartels, have been seen practicing mutual masturbation by licking each other's genitals.

In his 1999 book, Biological exuberance, Bruce Bagemihl PhD documents (p.71, 209-210) that:

Autoeroticism also occurs widely among animals, both male and female. A variety of creative techniques are used, including genital stimulation using the hand or front paw (primates, Lions), foot (Vampire Bats, primates), flipper (Walruses), or tail (Savanna Baboons), sometimes accompanied by stimulation of the nipples (Rhesus Macaques, Bonobos); auto-fellating or licking, sucking and/or nuzzling by a male of his own ***** (Common Chimpanzees, Savanna Bonobos, Vervet Monkeys, Squirrel Monkeys, Thinhorn Sheep, Bharal, Aovdad, Dwarf Cavies); stimulation of the ***** by flipping or rubbing it against the belly or in its own sheath (White-tailed and Mule Deer, Zebras and Takhi); spontaneous ejaculations (Mountain Sheep, Warthogs, Spotted Hyenas); and stimulation of the genitals using inanimate objects (found in several primates and cetaceans).[30]

Many birds ********** by mounting and copulating with tufts of grass, leaves or mounds of earth, and some mammals such as primates and Dolphins also rub their genitals against the ground or other surfaces to stimulate themselves.[30]

Autoeroticism in female mammals, as well as heterosexual and homosexual intercourse (especially in primates), often involves direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris [...]. This organ is present in the females of all mammalian species and several other animal groups.[30]

and that:

Apes and Monkeys use a variety of objects to ********** with and even deliberately create implements for sexual stimulation [...] often in highly creative ways.[30]

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Yeah, but aren't the hall of fame posts the ones that keep on getting the attention? Like the exam pencil thread.

If you limit access, it will slow it down. Maybe once the thread is pretty much dead anyway?

Another vote for the HoF is the infamous sandwich thread from pi:

 

[redrum]

word

 

[MA_PE]

Yeah, but aren't the hall of fame posts the ones that keep on getting the attention? Like the exam pencil thread.
If you limit access, it will slow it down. Maybe once the thread is pretty much dead anyway?

Another vote for the HoF is the infamous sandwich thread from :"the other board":

I miss the power of being able to a thread deleted by posting the lunch menu. :asthanos: