DVINNY
2-time 10K winner
Local Hero -
Jonestown, AZ.— A local man is a hero today after he single-handedly stopped a couple who were attempting to rob a coffee shop. His quick thinking saved the day according to restaurant manager Ted Barkins. "He just started quoting movie lines from Pulp Fiction. The robbers kind of went berserk and then they just left." Local hero, Paul Horner, who thwarted the would-be robbers said, "It was really lucky that I had my wallet with me that said 'bad motherf*cker' on it. They came around asking for everybody's wallet and I just held it up, you know like how Samuel L. Jackson did it in Pulp Fiction."
Longtime diner Susan Litchfield said the robbers asked Mr. Horner what was in his hand. He told them it was his wallet that said 'bad motherf*cker' on it.
"Yeah it was crazy. After I said that they started freaking out, so in my best tough black guy voice I said to them: Normally, both your[..]es would be dead as f*cking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this !! while I'm in a transitional period so I don't wanna k!ll you, I wanna help you," Horner said. "Then the robbers looked at each other and just ran out of the restaurant. I knew my vast knowledge of Pulp Fiction would pay off for me one day." Barkins said he was a little concerned about the health of Mr. Horner after the robbers had left and everyone at the restaurant was waiting around for police to arrive. "It seemed like Mr. Horner's brain had temporarily snapped. I told him that I think the cops are on their way and he said, 'I don't wanna hear about no motherf*ckin' ifs. All I wanna hear from your[..] is, you ain't got no problem, Paul. I'm on the motherf*cker. Go back in there, chill them ******s out and wait for the cavalry which should be coming directly'. Then he started asking me questions about the menu. He asked me about our hamburgers and if I knew what they called a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France? It was really weird, but hey, he's a hero I guess."
Officer Miller from the Jonestown Police Department said, "It's fortunate that this small town has a person like Mr. Horner living in it. If he hadn't have had so much free time on his hands he never would have been able to quote so many lines from Pulp Fiction. Down time is the real hero here today."
The robbers are described as a white male and female aged 35-45. Any information please contact the Jonestown Police Department.
