Farting to become illegal in Malawi

[Dleg]

From The Daily Mail

[SIZE=24pt]Better in than out: African country set to make breaking wind a crime[/SIZE]
By Colin Fernandez

Last updated at 10:36 AM on 28th January 2011

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13...l#ixzz1Clm03VQl

Breaking wind is set to be made a crime in an African country.

The government of Malawi plan to punish persistent offenders 'who foul the air' in a bid to 'mould responsible and disciplined citizens.'

But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence.

One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: 'My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus?

'And how about at meetings where it is difficult to pinpoint 'culprits'?

'Children will openly deny having passed bad air and point at an elder. Culturally, this is very embarrassing,' she said.

Another said: 'We have serious issues affecting Malawians today. I do not know how fouling the air should take priority over regulating Chinese investments which do not employ locals, serious graft amongst legislators, especially those in the ruling party, and many more.'

The crime will be enforceable in a new 'Local Court' system which will also have powers to punish a range of other crimes in the bill set to be debated in the country's parliament.

These include insulting the modesty of a woman, challenging to fight a duel, and trespassing on a burial place.

It also outlaws pretending to be a fortune teller, according to local press in the country.

Opposition leaders complain the new courts will be 'kangaroo courts'.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13...l#ixzz1CllulJ4d

 

[Supe]

I'd hate to smell the protests.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

I guess the police will enforce 'he who smelt it dealt it?'

 

[mrt406]

"I'm sorry officer.... but he made the rhyme, so he did the crime."

 

[Master slacker]

Will the police now station themselves in the sh*tters so that when people unload, almost certainly accompanied by gasseous expulsions, they'll be arrested?

 

[Supe]

Yes. Machine gun farters will be charged for assault with a deadly weapon.

 

[cableguy]

Could this also be extended to include those who don't shower, and/or those who think perfume is an effective deodorant? I've worked with some people that should be prosecuted for that...

 

[Capt Worley PE]

Another case of The Man trying to silence Gary Brown.

 

[FusionWhite]

After all the extra hot wings I ate for lunch I would be on death row right now.

 

[wilheldp_PE]

I just broke the law in the office. It was rancid.

 

[Dexman PE]

I wonder what Fudgey thinks of this. He'll definately need to change his international travel wish list.

 

[wilheldp_PE]

I wonder what Fudgey thinks of this. He'll definately need to change his international travel wish list.

I don't know about him, but Malawi was never on my travel wish list.

 

[Dleg]

Would a farting conviction show up on your criminal record?

I can just see the hiring scene now: "Well Mr. Dleg, we were all set to hire you until we ran your police check. Turns out you are repeat offender. We can't have that in our office - our ventilation is no good."

 

[benbo]

I wonder what Fudgey thinks of this. He'll definately need to change his international travel wish list.

I don't know about him, but Malawi was never on my travel wish list.

Isn't this where Madonna got the kid she adopted. Maybe they had a bad odor experience with "The Material Girl."

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Uh oh...the dog just committed a Class IV felonious violation under that statute. Someone better call animal control.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

Would a farting conviction show up on your criminal record?
I can just see the hiring scene now: "Well Mr. Dleg, we were all set to hire you until we ran your police check. Turns out you are repeat offender. We can't have that in our office - our ventilation is no good."

HAHAHAHA reminds me of a story.

When I was a senior in HS, we had a substitue for Senior Composition class. Since he was the girls b-ball coach, he didn't know shizzit about English, so we pretty much had a study hall that day. Some of the football players decided they'd have an imprompto pharting contest, and soon it sounded like the HS trumpet section was being pinned down with sandinistas with AK-47s.

Coacher said, "If you have to go to the bathroom, just go," whch of course caused snickers around the classroom.

Well, apparently he was more cheesed off about the thing than he let on because he complained about it to our teacher. She came in the next day and said, "Now how would you like something like that on your permanent record? FF: farts frequently." More howls of laughter.

 

[Dleg]

Sounds like your regular teacher was pretty cool.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

She was. Gave us a lot of good advice on how to get through the malarkey (her words) of college English. Worked well for me.

 

[TESTY]

Maybe send in the Farting Preacher to convert them all.

Farting Preacher 2 Fart Harder

 

[cableguy]

In a completely unrelated incident, I received Dr Who Season 1 Disc 2 from Netflix last night, which has the Slitheen episodes on it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slitheen

I didn't realize the Brits were so in to gaseous giggles. Of the British comedy I've watched, very little has centered on expulsions.