couple says goodbye to son and then walks in front of a train

[Road Guy]

http://www.newser.com/story/186161/couple-says-goodbye-to-son-walks-in-front-of-train.html?utm_source=part&utm_medium=united&utm_campaign=rss_topnews

damn.....

 

[Krakosky]

Wow. That's really sad.

 

[Road Guy]

There really should be some provision for Dr. assisted suicide in this country

 

[engineergurl]

It's commendable that the son called the train driver who I am sure could be struggling with this. I do admit to questioning in my mind if she knew what she was doing considering the son said she had the cognitive thinking equivalent to a toddler. I don't think Dr assisted suicide would have helped because she probably would have been deemed incapable of making the decision and I doubt a Dr would want to assume that liability.

 

[goodal]

I agree this was a bad way to go, but boy that sure is a slippery slope. When people start legally offing themselves, you open the door to alot of really bad outcomes.

 

[envirotex]

Same thing just happened here except it was a 13-yo girl.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

When people start legally offing themselves, you open the door to alot of really bad outcomes.

The counter argument is that if they want to go, they will find a way. And typically, it hurts others who have nothing to do with the situation (ie the train conductor).

 

[goodal]

Its just not a good idea to kill yourself, period.

 

[Road Guy]

lots of people get injured (car wreck) or an illness that was meant to kill them, then they get taken to the Hospital and get "saved" but there really not saved in most cases. Most will have a lifetime of difficulty..Doctors should tell the families "you need to let them go" more often also..

they can work miracles in hospitals but we were looking at a patient my wife had in the hospital a few years ago that was in the news recently, work place shooting fairly young guy was shot in the back, will be on a ventilator and wheel chair bound for the rest of his days.. if he wanted to find a peaceful way to "go" I think they should be allowed..

 

[goodal]

My wife's grandfather was in the exact situation. His second wife was in a car wreck and was messed up bad. Prior to this she was a very active, graceful, elderly lady. After the wreck she was bedridden and couldn't even communicate. She was a shell of the person she was. They went through months in the hospital just to get her back that far. It took 3 years for her to die, which was really all she was doing during that time, getting slowly worse. I'm sure he wished he would have let her go that night it happened. Saving her led to 3 yrs of torment for everyone involved.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Usually the "saving" is for the family, not the individual. Someone in the family is not ready to let that person go, so instead they end up watching that person die slowly over several days/weeks/months because they were greedy. They claim there is hope the person comes back, but most know it isn't going to happen.

And yes, I deliberately used the word greedy.

 

[engineergurl]

So the lesson learned in this thread, it is important to ensure it is very clear that you are a DNR before any of your greedy family can try to keep you alive in a lesser quality of life?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

So the lesson learned in this thread, it is important to ensure it is very clear that you are a DNR before any of your greedy family can try to keep you alive in a lesser quality of life?

It's important you have a will, power of attorney, and other legal documents in place to ensure YOUR wishes are met, not theirs.

 

[engineergurl]

So the lesson learned in this thread, it is important to ensure it is very clear that you are a DNR before any of your greedy family can try to keep you alive in a lesser quality of life?

It's important you have a will, power of attorney, and other legal documents in place to ensure YOUR wishes are met, not theirs.

I agree. I actually just changed my will and the executor, and I have it very clearly outlined which decisions my med-poa can make and at what point I become a DNR.

 

[Road Guy]

[SIZE=12pt]I often wondered, you can have a “final care” plan in place, but if your in the ER or ICU and your spouse doesn’t tell anyone about it, no one is really going to know about it.. My wife is paranoid about this, working in both the neuro ICU and Caridiac ICU she sees families make the wrong decision every week it seems like.. …..so what she observes is grief stricken family members that don’t have the heart to say “withdraw care”…[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]So my wife wrote up one of those legal “plans” and actually made her brother [the doctor] the person who has the right to say “pull the plug” She said she did it so that I wouldn’t have to be burdened with the decision, even though technically it’s my burden as her husband.. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]So here’s the thing, we live in Colorado, her brother in Florida, she gets hit by a truck and is in a coma in the hospital no one there (but me) will have a clue this document exists. I can say keep her alive before her bro springs into action to stop me, by then she could be brought back to life but say with major brain damage, but at that point you cant easily withdraw care and then I am stuck taking care of a 40 year old that acts like a 2 year old.. see what I am saying. Its not like they can really take legal action against me for keeping her alive (not that I would) but just using as an example..and then their should be some point after that poor decision of mine that we should be able to let her go to sleep forever, legally today you can’t, but you should..[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]I am just stuck with my wife making the decision so she will pull the plug first chance (I hope)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]So if you want to be sure get DNR tattood on your chest. Not sure if that works but I know lots of nurses that had it done…[/SIZE]

 

[engineergurl]

When I had surgery while my husband deployed, I ensured that the hospital had the paperwork in case something went wrong. I did it because my husband is not always around and able to make the decision and I didn't want my family bickering over who had to and if they needed to wait for him or all that stuff. If he's there I hope that he would respect my wishes.

 

[YMZ PE]

Does this story make anyone else think of that Fastball song "The Way"?

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

All you can really do is make sure as many people know about it as reasonably possible and keep emergency contact info with you (and easily accessible). There are still plenty of instances where your paperwork won't do you any good, but you can only do so much.