Christmas Song Question

[MA_PE]

[bob Rivers:]

Yo, yo

[Girl as Dina Rae:]

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jinglin' all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

From Detroit to East LA

[bob Rivers as Eminem:]

Is this a white Christmas? Hell no, my man

I'm leavin' blood in the snow and smacking fat men

You mean Santa? That boy's a bitch

He caught my mom Christmas eve and tried to give her a kiss

Fo' real, he's no joke, the guy don't play

He tried to ride way more than a one-horse sleigh

Laughing all the way, but he's not laughin' today

We'll jingle more than his bells, even the elves will pay

COME CHRISTMAS EVE, OLD NICK'S A GONNER!

We'll be snacking on deer, EATIN' Blitzen and Donner

Not a question of when, not even a maybe

Have a drunk Mrs. Clause sayin' "Jiggle it, Baby!"

Give a new meaning to "Ho, ho, ho"

Shake that ass, girl, bumpin' booty in the snow

So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll

We'll be strippin' that sleigh and leave you the coal

[Girl as Dina Rae:]

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jinglin' all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jinglin' all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

From Detroit to East LA

[bob Rivers as Eminem:]

[ From: http://www.metrolyri...ics-eminem.html ]

Playing reindeer games, hell yeah my friend

Grab Rudolph's horns, and see how far they bend

When his nose turns red, his ass gets sent

Back out to the woods with his faggy elf friends

Oh, Santa Claus wouldn't list me as nice

In fact, he'll have me listed as 'naughty' twice

Not 'cause' of the fight, or the Christmas gift heist,

But Because of all the nog I left on his wife

It's time for old nick to move and retire

'Fore we roast his nuts on a big ass fire

Yes I'm that bad, Yes, I'm that crude

I mean your ass is huge, lose weight, for real dude

All the cookies and milk, simply quite sick

I mean, when's the last time you seen your ****

I don't mean to throw a fit and I'm not one to bitch

But every year I get underwear, socks, and ****

[Girl as Dina Rae:] (Bob Rivers as Eminem

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Ah, the new Christmas Classics.

 

[Capt Worley PE]

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party

We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog

Little sister brought her new boyfriend

He was a Mexican

We didn't know what to think of him until he sang

Felis Navidad, Felis Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him

The three from his first wife Lynn

And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell

Of course he brought his new wife Kay

Who talks all about AA

Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel

The First Noel

Carve the Turkey

Turn the ball game on

Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone

Send somebody to the Quickpak Store

We need some ice and an extension chord

A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites

A box of tampons, Marlboro Lights

Haleluja everybody say Cheese

Merry Christmas from the family

Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen

I can't remember how I'm kin to them

But when they tried to plug their motor home in

They blew our Christmas lights

Cousin David knew just what went wrong

So we all waited out on our front lawn

He threw a breaker and the lights came on

And we sang Silent Night, Oh Silent Night, Oh Holy Night

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on

Make Bloody Mary's

Cause We All Want One!

Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go

We need some celery and a can of fake snow

A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites

A box of tampons, some Salem Lights

Haleluja, everybody say cheese

Merry Christmas from the Family

 

[Lumber Jim]

(To the tune of Dashing through the snow)

Dashing through the snow

in my Rusty Chevrolet

Down the road I go

Sliding all the way

I need new piston rings

I need some new snow tires

My car is held together

By a piece of chicken wire

CHORUS

Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke

The door just blew away

I light a match to see the dash

And then I start to pray

The frame is bent, the muffler went

The radio, it's okay

Oh what fun it is to drive

This Rusty Chevrolet

I went to the IGA

To get some Christmas cheer

I just passed up my left front tire

And it's getting hard to steer

Speeding down the highway

Right past a county cop

I have to drag my swampers

Just to get the car to stop

(chorus)

(instrumental)

Bouncing through the snowdrifts

In a big blue cloud of smoke

People laugh as I drive by

And I wonder what's the joke

Got to get to Wal-Mart

To pick up the lay-away

'Cause Santa Claus is coming soon

In his big old rusty sleigh

(chorus)

 

[pbrme]

^ Good one LJ.Here's da video for does who don't know, dontcha know.<br><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/50IgzksUqpQ?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[blybrook PE]

Good one LJ! Gotta have da yoopers rusty chevrolet! It is funny to watch them do this skit in person!

Been listening to Trans-Siberian Orchestra recently. Winter in wonderland is a good one; otherwise I think they are usually overplayed.

 

[Lumber Jim]

Tanks fellers! Never had da oppertunidy to see dem (will check out da video at da house) but dey had a lasting effect since da first time dat I heard dem. Ya know dat de speak my language, dontcha know...

 

[mudpuppy]

I've always heard it "Negaunee Cop" rather than "county cop". . .I think of that song every time I go down the hill on US-41 into Negaunee since there's a speed trap there.

 

[YMZ PE]

That 'Baby it's cold outside' song sounds like a rapist.... no means no dumb a$$, I don't care how cold it is outside, I'm going home, so leave me alone... now!

/>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc_F0zP9usU&

 

[blybrook PE]

I've always heard it "Negaunee Cop" rather than "county cop". . .I think of that song every time I go down the hill on US-41 into Negaunee since there's a speed trap there.

Dey do say Negaunee Cop. And it ain't da only speed trap in dat area!

 

[engineergurl]

too funny YMZ! I had never seen that before!

 

[FLBuff PE]

<--- She seems to be simply having a wonderful Christmas time...

 

[pbrme]

Think those bows are homemade or chineese?

 

[pbrme]

I've always heard it "Negaunee Cop" rather than "county cop". . .I think of that song every time I go down the hill on US-41 into Negaunee since there's a speed trap there.

Dey do say Negaunee Cop. And it ain't da only speed trap in dat area!

Yaw, yaww... I hear da Negaunee as well.

 

[RIP - VTEnviro]

Ok, I was listening to Sirius's "Holly" (100% x-mas music) channel this morning and I heard a song about Santa being stuck in a chimney.

The song went on to say that Santa basically died in the chimney and started to stink up the house.

Good thing mini-kevo can't understand that stuff yet.....

"There's something in the chimney and we don't know what it is but it's been there since last Christmas."

To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland"...."walking 'round in women's unerwear"

Later on, if you wanna...we can dress, like Madonna...