Obama Jokes

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Applause just the same, because I hadn't read that one yet!

 
Chucktown PE said:
I'll do you one better. Just print these little cards up and leave them as tips. I did it on Friday, Monday, and will do it again today. The only catch is that you have to give someone the money. So I have been giving it to the guy who plays the saxaphone outside my office window.


I have to give credit to Neal Boortz for this. I got it off of his blog.
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That's awesome. Only one catch - would you mind posting your picture, and that of Neal Boortz? I want to make sure I am not in a restaurant with either of you when the staff decide to pay you back by "spreading the health."

Better avoid the special sauce.

 
Dleg said:
That's awesome. Only one catch - would you mind posting your picture, and that of Neal Boortz? I want to make sure I am not in a restaurant with either of you when the staff decide to pay you back by "spreading the health."
Better avoid the special sauce.
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Ahh, little grasshopper. I am one step ahead of you. 1. Tipping is always done after the eating. 2. I don't plan on visiting the same restaurant twice within a short amount of time. 3. If I do, I generally order takeout with an alias. 4. My hypothesis is that since the server sees this after I have already walked out the door, there is probably little face recognition. 5. I always check my food for anything remotely resembling special sauce. 6. I NEVER ORDER ANYTHING WITH MAYONAISE.

What a tangled web I weave.

 
Chucktown PE said:
Ahh, little grasshopper. I am one step ahead of you. 1. Tipping is always done after the eating. 2. I don't plan on visiting the same restaurant twice within a short amount of time. 3. If I do, I generally order takeout with an alias. 4. My hypothesis is that since the server sees this after I have already walked out the door, there is probably little face recognition. 5. I always check my food for anything remotely resembling special sauce. 6. I NEVER ORDER ANYTHING WITH MAYONAISE.
What a tangled web I weave.
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I realize this is a joke, but a word of caution to anyone who does want to try it out for fun. Servers remember customers that don't leave tips. My wife worked in an upscale restaurant when in college. She has a terrible memory (if I asked her right now what we had for dinner last night I doubt she would know the answer), but to this day she can recall the name of a customer that left zero tip. This has to be almost ten years ago now. It actually cost her money b/c she had to 'tip-out' at the end of the night, so even though she didn't get a tip she still had to tip-out on the value of the bill. Servers remember this. So if you try this trick NEVER go back.

P.S. - Shad Gregory Moss owes my wife money.

 
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Shad? He was named after a minnow? Sounds like his parents owe him some money.

Agree on the no tip thing. My wife worked as a server in college as well. They remember EVERYTHING.

 
I only stiffed a server once. We were at a comedy club and I ran out of cash. Between drinks and food the bill was $50 and I left $1 tip. The waitresses bitched at us the whole way out. Oh well, the show was funny as hell.

 
After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Osama is still alive', Barrack Hussein Obama has now been telling everyone he will capture Osama Bin Laden when elected."

So, Osama himself decided to send Barrack Hussein Obama a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Howard Dean.

Dean and the DNC and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to Joe Biden.

Joe Biden could not solve so it was sent to the FBI and the CIA.

Eventually they asked John McCain and his Staff to look at it.

And within a minute McCain's Staff e-mailed Obama with this reply: 'Tell Obama he's holding the message upside down'.

 
N.S. Nandagopal, P E

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