Congrats on hitting the big three five, Fudgemaster! May you find true love this year with a woman who appreciates you and all your bodily idiosyncrasies.
I am just coming back from a father's day cookout where one of the subjects was the disproportionately obnoxious farts a woman's roomate used to let out relative to her frame/size. Nobody understood how a woman that small could generate the reverberating noises her bowels would emit.
So, my friend, you aren't alone in what appears to be your gastrically-challenged world.