G
Guest
I recently relocated my list of engineering terminologies that I used to keep posted on my door. :lmao: I am posting below - feel free to add any. I am always looking to add to my list.
JR
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Engineer’s Dictionary for Common Terminologies
MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
DEVELOPED AFTER YEARS OF INTENSIVE RESEARCH – It was discovered by accident.
PROJECT SLIGHTLY BEHIND ORIGINAL SCHEDULE DUE TO UNFORSEEN DIFFICULTIES – We are working on something else.
THE DESIGNS ARE WELL WITHIN ALLOWABLE LIMITS – We just made it, stretching a point or two.
CLIENT SATISFACTION IS BELIEVED TO BE ASSURED – We are so far behind schedule that the customer was happy to get anything from us at all.
CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We should have asked someone else; or, we know who to blame.
THE DESIGN WILL BE FINALIZED IN THE NEXT REPORTING PERIOD – We haven’t started this job yet, but we’ve got to say something.
A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We don’t know where we are going, but we’re moving; or, we are still pissing in the wind.
TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING – We are so surprised the stupid thing works!
EXTENSIVE EFFORT IS BEING APPLIED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college; we’ll let them kick it around for awhile.
PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS ARE INCONCLUSIVE – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED – The only guy who understood the thing quit.
MODIFICATIONS ARE UNDERWAY TO CORRECT CERTAIN MINOR DIFFICULTIES – We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.
IT IS IN THE PROCESS – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
WE WILL LOOK INTO IT – Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL – Let’s spread the responsibility for the screw-up.
GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it does not interfere with what we have already done.
GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION – I can’t wait to hear this bull!
SEE ME or LET’S DISCUSS – Come in my office, I’m lonely.
ALL NEW – Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
RUGGED – Too damn heavy to lift.
LIGHTWEIGHT – Lighter than RUGGED.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – One finally worked.
ENERGY SAVINGS – Achieved when the power switch is off.
LOW MAINTENANCE – Impossible to fix if it is broken.
ESSENTIAL COMPLETE – Half done.
WE PREDICT – We hope to God!
DRAWING RELEASE IS LAGGING – Not a single drawing exists.
RISK IS HIGH, BT ACCEPTABLE – 100 to 1 odds, or with 10 times the budget and ten times the manpower, we may have a 50/50 chance.
SERIOUS, BUT NO INSURMOUNTABLE PROBLEMS – It will take a miracle. God should be the program manager.
NOT WELL DEFINED – Nobody has thought about it.
REQUIRES FURTHER ANALYSIS AND MANAGEMENT ATTENTION – Totally out of control.
THE PROJECT IS DESIGNED FOR HIGH AVAILABILITY – Malfunctions will be blamed on the operator’s mistakes.
THE PROJECT HAS LOW MAINTENANCE REQUIREMENTS – We wouldn’t let the technicians change a light bulb, much less fool around with our baby.
THE SOFTWARE IS BEING DEVELOPED WITHOUT EXCESSIVE PROCESS OVERHEAD – The documentation will be written in clear and lucid Chinese.
THE DELIVERABLE IS SCHEDULED FOR THE LAST QUARTER OF NEXT YEAR – This leaves us plenty of time to decide who is to blame for it being late.
JR
___________________________________________________________________________
Engineer’s Dictionary for Common Terminologies
MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
DEVELOPED AFTER YEARS OF INTENSIVE RESEARCH – It was discovered by accident.
PROJECT SLIGHTLY BEHIND ORIGINAL SCHEDULE DUE TO UNFORSEEN DIFFICULTIES – We are working on something else.
THE DESIGNS ARE WELL WITHIN ALLOWABLE LIMITS – We just made it, stretching a point or two.
CLIENT SATISFACTION IS BELIEVED TO BE ASSURED – We are so far behind schedule that the customer was happy to get anything from us at all.
CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We should have asked someone else; or, we know who to blame.
THE DESIGN WILL BE FINALIZED IN THE NEXT REPORTING PERIOD – We haven’t started this job yet, but we’ve got to say something.
A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We don’t know where we are going, but we’re moving; or, we are still pissing in the wind.
TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING – We are so surprised the stupid thing works!
EXTENSIVE EFFORT IS BEING APPLIED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college; we’ll let them kick it around for awhile.
PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS ARE INCONCLUSIVE – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED – The only guy who understood the thing quit.
MODIFICATIONS ARE UNDERWAY TO CORRECT CERTAIN MINOR DIFFICULTIES – We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.
IT IS IN THE PROCESS – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
WE WILL LOOK INTO IT – Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL – Let’s spread the responsibility for the screw-up.
GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it does not interfere with what we have already done.
GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION – I can’t wait to hear this bull!
SEE ME or LET’S DISCUSS – Come in my office, I’m lonely.
ALL NEW – Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
RUGGED – Too damn heavy to lift.
LIGHTWEIGHT – Lighter than RUGGED.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – One finally worked.
ENERGY SAVINGS – Achieved when the power switch is off.
LOW MAINTENANCE – Impossible to fix if it is broken.
ESSENTIAL COMPLETE – Half done.
WE PREDICT – We hope to God!
DRAWING RELEASE IS LAGGING – Not a single drawing exists.
RISK IS HIGH, BT ACCEPTABLE – 100 to 1 odds, or with 10 times the budget and ten times the manpower, we may have a 50/50 chance.
SERIOUS, BUT NO INSURMOUNTABLE PROBLEMS – It will take a miracle. God should be the program manager.
NOT WELL DEFINED – Nobody has thought about it.
REQUIRES FURTHER ANALYSIS AND MANAGEMENT ATTENTION – Totally out of control.
THE PROJECT IS DESIGNED FOR HIGH AVAILABILITY – Malfunctions will be blamed on the operator’s mistakes.
THE PROJECT HAS LOW MAINTENANCE REQUIREMENTS – We wouldn’t let the technicians change a light bulb, much less fool around with our baby.
THE SOFTWARE IS BEING DEVELOPED WITHOUT EXCESSIVE PROCESS OVERHEAD – The documentation will be written in clear and lucid Chinese.
THE DELIVERABLE IS SCHEDULED FOR THE LAST QUARTER OF NEXT YEAR – This leaves us plenty of time to decide who is to blame for it being late.
