This is my waffle iron.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My waffle iron is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
Without me, my waffle iron is useless.
With out my waffle iron, I am useless...
I must pour the batter true.
I must ensure my timing is better then my enemy, who is trying to kill me.
I must feed the hungry children before the hungry children succeed in killing me.
Before God, I swear this creed: my waffle iron and myself are defenders against hunger, we are the masters of of hungry children, we are the saviors of my sanity.
So be it, until there is no hunger and world peace.