Caption the Photo 5-2-13

[Capt Worley PE]

 

[snickerd3]

Hi honey, I have some bad news...

 

[Master slacker]

[reading] "Dear John..." [/reading]

Who the f*ck is "John"?

 

[snickerd3]

...the office is changing health insurance plans so you aren't covered anymore. You are going to have to hang up your aapron and get a job with insurance benefits.

 

[Dexman PE PMP]

Who left this HSD over here?

 

[Supe]

Another f*cking giant candle and wax fruit bill.

 

[blybrook PE]

Reading: "The entertainment is late, so you'll be my entertainment tonight. I have prepared myself dinner, you must work for yours..."

 

[Wolverine]

"HI Honey, I'm home.

Say, do you know what tonight is?

It's WEDNESDAY, that's what it is. Wednesday night.

And you know what Wednesday night means?"

Aww Yeah
Girl tonight we're gonna make love
You know how I know?
Because it's Wednesday
And Wednesday night is the night that we usually make love
Monday night is my night to cook
Tuesday night we go and visit your mother
But Wednesday we make sweet little love

When everything is just right
There's nothing good on tv
You haven't had your after work social sport team practice
So you are not too tired
Oh, boy, it's all love
You lean in and whisper something sexy like,
"I might go to bed. I've got work in the morning."
I know what you're trying to say baby.
You're trying to say "Aww, yeah. It's business time.

It's business
It's business time
I know what you're trying to say
You're trying to say it's time for business,
it's business time, oooh
It's business
It's business time
Aww ohooowoah yeah, yeah

 

[MA_PE]

(reading card)

Happy March 14th, dear. The steak is warming in the oven or you can just head over here first.

 

[pbrme]

Kathy pretended not to notice Harold as he arrived home from work. Waiting for him at the door was a polaroid of the first clue. She'd phoned him earlier that day, and new he was feeling distressed by his engineering duties, and decided she'd make him a scavenger hunt to ease his tension. The first clue was a picture of an ice cold PBR in the fridge. He looked up to Kathy, smiled and asked "what is this Tomfoolery?" To which she replied "I don't know Harold, maybe it's a clue or something.." Harold walked to the fridge and opened it to find the energy star dial turned down Looow & full of ice cold PBR... in the middle row, there was one with a note which read "drink me" ...to which he obliged. As he tilted it back, he noticed another polaroid taped to the ceiling. He finished his frosty beverage and slid a chair over, climbed up and retrieved the picture. Much to his enjoyment it was racey image of his wife and the hot neighbor lady dressed in black lingerie leaning on and over the hood of his corvette. Looking for signs of a clue, Harold retieved another PBR and sat down at the table. He stared at the image intensely for what was probably an hour, only to break consentration to get fresh PBR. After a few more, he put in a good dip, moved his research to the study and proceeded to sketch clues and numbering sequences out on his drafting board. Angles, circle templates of binary... french curves... his drafting paper was starting to resemble the shed of formulas from "A Beautiful Mind".

Nearing midnight, Kathy entered the study and draped herself around the doorway dressed in the same outfit she was pictured in. She asked Harold how he was doing and that there was a surprise waiting for him in the garage.

With Herald's back facing the doorway, deep in concentration and sketching, he muttered "I think I'm close to figuring it all out, but I won't know until I go to the hardware store in the morning."

Kathy said "what for Harold?"

Harold explained... "well, from what I can gather from this picture, I'm going to need another 150 ft of Romex, 100 ft of 3-0 guage & sub panel, breakers, 4 tube florecents, full course of plumbing for a 1/2 bath, some touch up paint, and a handheld buffer."

Stunned, Kathy asked "how did you get all of that from the picture?"

Harold turned around and said "well, I thought I could see the neighbors goodies peeking out from that see-through get-up she was wearing, but I wasn't sure... so after studying it for a long time I knew I'd have to have better lighting out there."

Kathy asked "what do you need the plumbing and sink for?"

Harold said "well that's for poker nights, so the guys don't have to walk back and forth to the house or piss on the flower beds..."

At this point Kathy doesn't know what to think and asks "so I guess the touch up paint and buffer is for the corvette?"

Harold, in a polite tone says "well your gotdamn right it's for the corvette toots.."

Kathy, with a look of shock asks "Why is that?"

Harold, "Well if my calculations are correct, after I get done shining the hood with you and the neighbor, I'm going to need to give the '63 a polish."

Kathy asked "Why did you waste so much time figuring out all that stuff instead of just coming out to the garage earlier?"

Harold, "because I'm an Engineer"

Feel free to replace the underlined with your own, that was the best I could come up with.

 

[Judowolf PE]

^It's March 14th, you're late again and the neighbor came for a visit

 

[snickerd3]

Kathy pretended not to notice Harold as he arrived home from work. Waiting for him at the door was a polaroid of the first clue. She'd phoned him earlier that day, and new he was feeling distressed by his engineering duties, and decided she'd make him a scavenger hunt to ease his tension. The first clue was a picture of an ice cold PBR in the fridge. He looked up to Kathy, smiled and asked "what is this Tomfoolery?" To which she replied "I don't know Harold, maybe it's a clue or something.." Harold walked to the fridge and opened it to find the energy star dial turned down Looow & full of ice cold PBR... in the middle row, there was one with a note which read "drink me" ...to which he obliged. As he tilted it back, he noticed another polaroid taped to the ceiling. He finished his frosty beverage and slid a chair over, climbed up and retrieved the picture. Much to his enjoyment it was racey image of his wife and the hot neighbor lady dressed in black lingerie leaning on and over the hood of his corvette. Looking for signs of a clue, Harold retieved another PBR and sat down at the table. He stared at the image intensely for what was probably an hour, only to break consentration to get fresh PBR. After a few more, he put in a good dip, moved his research to the study and proceeded to sketch clues and numbering sequences out on his drafting board. Angles, circle templates of binary... french curves... his drafting paper was starting to resemble the shed of formulas from "A Beautiful Mind".

Nearing midnight, Kathy entered the study and draped herself around the doorway dressed in the same outfit she was pictured in. She asked Harold how he was doing and that there was a surprise waiting for him in the garage.

With Herald's back facing the doorway, deep in concentration and sketching, he muttered "I think I'm close to figuring it all out, but I won't know until I go to the hardware store in the morning."

Kathy said "what for Harold?"

Harold explained... "well, from what I can gather from this picture, I'm going to need another 150 ft of Romex, 100 ft of 3-0 guage & sub panel, breakers, 4 tube florecents, full course of plumbing for a 1/2 bath, some touch up paint, and a handheld buffer."

Stunned, Kathy asked "how did you get all of that from the picture?"

Harold turned around and said "well, I thought I could see the neighbors goodies peeking out from that see-through get-up she was wearing, but I wasn't sure... so after studying it for a long time I knew I'd have to have better lighting out there."

Kathy asked "what do you need the plumbing and sink for?"

Harold said "well that's for poker nights, so the guys don't have to walk back and forth to the house or piss on the flower beds..."

At this point Kathy doesn't know what to think and asks "so I guess the touch up paint and buffer is for the corvette?"

Harold, in a polite tone says "well your gotdamn right it's for the corvette toots.."

Kathy, with a look of shock asks "Why is that?"

Harold, "Well if my calculations are correct, after I get done shining the hood with you and the neighbor, I'm going to need to give the '63 a polish."

Kathy asked "Why did you waste so much time figuring out all that stuff instead of just coming out to the garage earlier?"

Harold, "because I'm an Engineer"

Feel free to replace the underlined with your own, that was the best I could come up with.

Absolutely funny that you used the name harold...that was the name i was going to use in my next post for the guy.

 

[Wolverine]

+1 for PBR = winner, winner, chicken dinner.

I'm going to add a new punchline to my list of classic story-endings:

#1: " ... and that's why I drink."

#2: " ...and now I'm not married anymore."

#3: " ... because I'm an engineer."