# Corrupt a Wish!



## Capt Worley PE (May 9, 2008)

The idea of the Corrupt a Wish thread is for the person above you to post a wish, and the following reply to completely ruin the wish, and post his own wish. It's quite funny, honest.

For example:

I wish I could afford a house.

Granted! But it is a crackhouse in Compton.

I wish....

I'll start...I wish I had a new Corvette.


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## jmbeck (May 9, 2008)

Capt Worley PE said:


> I'll start...I wish I had a new Corvette.



GRANTED!







I wish I had a yacht!


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## MA_PE (May 9, 2008)

done.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener.


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## jmbeck (May 9, 2008)

MA_PE said:


> I wish I was an Oscar Meyer wiener.


Granted!






I wish I didn't have to work!


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## ODB_PE (May 9, 2008)

done






I wish I had lots of money


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## jmbeck (May 9, 2008)

ODB_PE said:


> I wish I had lots of money


ABRA KADABRA!






I wish I was fishing!


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## ODB_PE (May 9, 2008)

sorry to temporarily break the thread, but that is pretty phenomenal. Check out that earing!

Now back to jmbeck who wishes he was fishing....


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## jmbeck (May 9, 2008)

ODB_PE said:


> sorry to temporarily break the thread, but that is pretty phenomenal. Check out that earing!


Yeah, once I posted that at full screen (sorry, I don't sizes 'em, I just posts 'em), I was like "is that a diamond encrusted little.... Surely not...well, maybe."


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## jmbeck (May 9, 2008)

wilheldp said:


> I wish I was golfing.


Here's a tribute to a finely tuned athlete on the verge of greatness!

DONE!






I think the secret to longer shots off the tee is to have your cigarette in a parallel plane to your swing arch. Here, Mr. Daly demonstrates that technique.

I wish I had a house!


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## Flyer_PE (May 9, 2008)

jmbeck said:


> I wish I had a house!


How's this:

I wish I was flying.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 9, 2008)

^ OK!






I wish I had a CAB.


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## wilheldp_PE (May 9, 2008)

Awww..did my fish hook picture post get deleted? I see that jmbeck responded to it, but I don't see the post any more.

Regardless, jmbeck, you should have found the pic of Daly shirtless and shoeless with a cig in his mouth. It's classic.


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## jmbeck (May 9, 2008)

wilheldp said:


> Regardless, jmbeck, you should have found the pic of Daly shirtless and shoeless with a cig in his mouth. It's classic.


That was actually what I was looking for, and couldn't find it.


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## jmbeck (May 9, 2008)

VTEnviro said:


> I wish I had a CAB.



This one actually brings back memories...






My grandfather was somewhat of a cheapskate. I can distinctly remember opening their refrigerator and seeing solid white cans with the words "Beer" or "Light Beer" printed on the can.

I wish I was famous!


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 9, 2008)

^ Ahh, it's too bad I missed the no frills generic craze of the early 80s.



> I wish I was famous!


Our top news story - Jmbeck was announced as the new president of NAMBLA today!

I wish I had a new computer.


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## jmbeck (May 9, 2008)

VTEnviro said:


> I wish I had a new computer.








I wish Mississippi State would win a National Championship!


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## Sschell (May 9, 2008)

CONGRATULATIONS!

Missippi State wins national inbreeding championship!!!

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller.


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## Casey (May 9, 2008)

Done!!






I wish I was more handsome than I already am.


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## jmbeck (May 9, 2008)

Casey said:


> I wish I was more handsome than I already am.


SHAZAM!






I wish I lived in Hawaii!


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## roadwreck (May 9, 2008)

jmbeck said:


> I wish I lived in Hawaii!


Done







I wish I had $2 pints


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## Chucktown PE (May 9, 2008)

I wish I had $2 pints

Here you go. I think you could get these for substantially less than $2.

I wish I had a flat screen TV.


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## wilheldp_PE (May 9, 2008)

There ya go!

I wish I had 10 more weeks of vacation.


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## Capt Worley PE (May 9, 2008)

GRANTED!!! But in cellblock C, w/Bubba.

I wish I had a faster connection than 565k.


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## TouchDown (May 9, 2008)

OK - your connection is lighting fast... but here's your computer.






I wish I had lots of muscles!


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## Flyer_PE (May 9, 2008)

TouchDown said:


> I wish I had lots of muscles!


Here ya go:

I wish I owned a jet.


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## TouchDown (May 9, 2008)

Hop on!






I wish I was independently wealthy!


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## FusionWhite (May 9, 2008)

TouchDown said:


> I wish I was independently wealthy!


Done, the bad hair cut is free.






I wish I had a maid to clean my house...


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## Chucktown PE (May 9, 2008)

FusionWhite said:


> I wish I had a maid to clean my house...


Here he/she is?


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## csb (May 9, 2008)

There was no wish, so I went with the generic man wish of wanting to see boobies:






I wish I had a dinosaur.


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## frazil (May 10, 2008)

Granted! That will be your last wish...






I wish I had a beach house (and time to use it).


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## csb (May 12, 2008)

I escaped...and I'm here to grant your wish!

SHAZAM!

I wish I could pass the PE...


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## ODB_PE (May 12, 2008)

done!

I wish I could fix the oil leak on my Camry

are these attached photos working? I can't see mine.


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## csb (May 12, 2008)

^ that's just wrong!


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## maryannette (May 12, 2008)

ODB_PE said:


> done!
> I wish I could fix the oil leak on my Camry
> 
> are these attached photos working? I can't see mine.


*Re: Oil Leak 96 Camry *

Best to change all the oil seals once the timing cover is removed.

Sounds like an oil pump seal, since those are under pressure.

Tips for the crankshaft oil seal replacement.

These are my own ideas, not necessarily representing them as a

professional approach, but they worked for me.

The big caution when removing the crankshaft oil seal by prying with a

screwdriver as usually recommended, is not to scratch the crankshaft.

Since I didn't want to take a chance on ruining a crankshaft on my

first attempt, and noticed the crankshaft oil seal has a steel backing,

I center punched and drilled some small holes, using tape on the drill

bit to limit depth and proceeding very carefully, then using a hook and

pick set, hooked one of those holes, pulled hard, and the seal popped

out. Turns out drilling one small hole would have been enough.

For driving in the new crank seal, I took the new crank seal to Home

Depot and matched it up with a "wye" ABS black plastic plumbing line.

Turned out to be a standard size - don't remember anymore, 2 1/2" or

something similar. Then held the angle part and tapped on the end with

a small sledge hammer to drive the crank seal in flush. Had tried

finding a socket, but none of the deep sockets, even up to 3/4" drive

at Sears, had enough depth to reach over the crank snout. Good thing I

had that little plumbing pipe because otherwise could not have gotten

the crankshaft oil seal to seat fully - it did have to be driven into

place.

Oil seal replacement was fairly simple, Small seal could be pressed in

by hand. Used a small amount of red grease to hold the little O ring in

place, since it would otherwise fall out of the groove.

Used the electric impact wrench to remove the oil pump pulley bolt,

after removing the oil pump. I used one of those neoprene band clamps

to hold the oil pump sprocket. Some had said it can be extremely

difficult to remove, but mine spun right off.

I wish there was peace on earth.


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## Guest (May 12, 2008)

mary said:


> I wish there was peace on earth.


Done !!






That's me testing the plasticity of your piece of earth! 

I wish I had nice date for this coming weekend. (cringing at potential responses...)

JR


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 12, 2008)

Granted - there's your date! (I knew this picture would come in handy again!) You two will meet at 8 PM on Friday at the Rusty Rail bath house. Enjoy!

I wish all the hassle of moving was over.


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## BluSkyy (May 12, 2008)

Done. Now you just have to clean up the mess. (tornado in Picher, OK leveled the town so all the people waiting to get bought out through superfund don't have any stuff left to move.)






I wish I had a nice t ruck.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 12, 2008)

^ Here ya go!






I wish the fridge at the office didn't stink.


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## csb (May 12, 2008)

The fridge still has a distinct smell, but the smell will give you the munchies! (it's a hydroponic growing fridge)

I wish I had thicker hair.


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## ODB_PE (May 12, 2008)

thick enough for you?







I wish I could run a 5 minute mile


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## roadwreck (May 12, 2008)

ODB_PE said:


> I wish I could run a 5 minute mile


SHAZAM!

You are now a horse






I wish I had a Wii


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## BluSkyy (May 12, 2008)

Granted

Wii

i wish I were on vacation


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## Fudgey (May 12, 2008)

granted: you're fired!

I wish I had some new fishing gear.


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## jmbeck (May 12, 2008)

Fudgey said:


> I wish I had some new fishing gear.


POOF!






I wish I could play golf for a living!


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## Chucktown PE (May 12, 2008)

jmbeck said:


> I wish I could play golf for a living!


Poof, you just look like this guy now.

Someone already wished for a boat. I wish I was at the beach.


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## Dleg (May 12, 2008)

Granted:






I wish I was hiking in the Rockies


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## frazil (May 12, 2008)

You're ready to go...






but all you brought was your slippers...






I wish I was a rock star


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## Dleg (May 12, 2008)

Granted - you are now Courtney Love:






I wish I could go to the moon.


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## csb (May 13, 2008)

Granted! Here's your spaceship.

I wish I could lose 25 pounds.


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## ODB_PE (May 13, 2008)

It will only sting for a minute (bad taste warning?)






I wish this rash would go away.


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## PE-ness (May 14, 2008)

This stuff tastes better, and it might help cure your rash:






I wish I was taller.


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## Dark Knight (May 14, 2008)

Did you mean taller as a Giant?....granted....whooooooosh






I wish I could have a real vacation one of these days.


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## Guest (May 15, 2008)

Dark Knight said:


> I wish I could have a real vacation one of these days.


Done !! A resort hotspot in Cancun after Hurricane Wilma ....






I wish I could get some GOOD authentic chinese for lunch ... Tallahassee sucks for good food. &lt;_&lt;

JR


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## jmbeck (May 15, 2008)

jregieng said:


> I wish I could get some GOOD authentic chinese for lunch ... Tallahassee sucks for good food. &lt;_&lt;


Fresh from Beijing! KAPOW!






I wish for some permanent male enhancement.

(ahem, PG-13)


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## MA_PE (May 15, 2008)

jmbeck said:


> I wish for some permanent male enhancement.
> (ahem, PG-13)


Done. you're a trophy wife.

I wish someone would give me $10M


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## Dark Knight (May 15, 2008)

Granted

$ (M M M M M M M M M M) there you go....ten Ms

I wish I had a better sense of humor


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## Wolverine (May 15, 2008)

Bling! Granted.

Now you have a wicked sense of humor.

I wish I could get my 1969 Volkswagen beetle professionally restored.


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## jmbeck (May 15, 2008)

Wolverine said:


> I wish I could get my 1969 Volkswagen beetle professionally restored.


A la Peanut Butter Sandwiches! (Bonus points to whoever recognizes that)






I wish I had a nice office, instead of this freakin' cubicle.


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## csb (May 15, 2008)

granted...it's wide open with plenty of fresh air...just watch out for trucks

I wish I was at Disneyland.


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## jmbeck (May 15, 2008)

csb said:


> I wish I was at Disneyland.


No problem. Portus!







Sorry about the safe!

I wish I could drink on the job!


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## ME_FPE (May 15, 2008)

Done: Now you're the but of everyone's jokes:

I wish I was a movie star!


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## csb (May 15, 2008)

SHAZAM!

I wish I could wear sweatpants to work.


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## Sschell (May 15, 2008)

DONE.






I wish I was an international man of mystery...


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## Chucktown PE (May 15, 2008)

sschell_PE said:


> I wish I was an international man of mystery...


Done, you are now George Michael. (I would have preferred to make you Elton John but someone already used that one)

I wish I could sell my house.


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## Dleg (May 15, 2008)

^Done! I'll send the penny in the mail, you send the deed.

I wish I could fly.


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## Dark Knight (May 15, 2008)

Whooooooooooosh....granted






I wish we started this thread before.


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## PE-ness (May 15, 2008)

Granted:






I wish I had a bigger brain.


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## Sschell (May 15, 2008)

this should do the trick!






I wish I was VTEnviro...


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## AN_US (May 15, 2008)

wish granted?






I wish I could get around town purely on methane power.


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## maryannette (May 15, 2008)

jmbeck said:


> A la Peanut Butter Sandwiches! (Bonus points to whoever recognizes that)


The Amazing Mumford!!!!

Sorry for the interruption in wishes.


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## PE-ness (May 15, 2008)

AN_US said:


> I wish I could get around town purely on methane power.


Here ya go:






I wish I could fit into tiny places...


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 15, 2008)

sschell_PE said:


> I wish I was VTEnviro...


At the time you wrote that, you probably really, _really_ wish you were. We'll leave it at that. :true:


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## Sschell (May 15, 2008)

PE-ness said:


> I wish I could fit into tiny places...


ask and ye shall recieve:






(now that VT is done doing whatever he was doing) I wish I was DVINNY


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## Dleg (May 15, 2008)

granted:






I wish I could stop procrastinating.


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## MA_PE (May 16, 2008)

> wish I could stop procrastinating.


OK you're a eunich

oops my error, I thought you said procreating.

I wish my PE-ness was bigger than 8 x 10


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## Wolverine (May 16, 2008)

I temporarily interrupt this wish to LMAO at Lemmywinks.

Okay, done.

Please continue.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 16, 2008)

^ All hail the gerbil king!


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## Wolverine (May 16, 2008)

MA_PE said:


> I wish my PE-ness was bigger than 8 x 10


BLING! Granted. 14X48 on the downtown connector. Check out the discipline.

I wish I could get out of here. It's Friday afternoon.


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## MA_PE (May 16, 2008)

F'n kids and thier F#$%^KIN' graffitti. Little bastards!


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 16, 2008)

Wow, never knew they offered an exam discipline in fudgepump engineering.

I think I'd pick the AC Slatering afternoon depth module.


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## FLBuff PE (May 16, 2008)

Wolverine said:


> I wish I could get out of here. It's Friday afternoon.


Ask and ye shall recieve:

I wish it was sunny here...


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## FusionWhite (May 16, 2008)

FLBuff said:


> I wish it was sunny here...



Your wish is granted...congrats your a camel jockey...







I wish I didnt have to go a wedding this weekend.


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## MA_PE (May 16, 2008)

FusionWhite said:


> I wish I didnt have to go a wedding this weekend.


OK you're a runaway bride

I wish my kids college tuition was paid for.


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## Guest (May 17, 2008)

MA_PE said:


> OK you're a runaway bride


Oh boy am I going to date myself of this statement ... I remember the issue of Playboy that the more revealing picture appeared in - I used to have the magazine. hmy:



MA_PE said:


> I wish my kids college tuition was paid for.


Granted!! Your children have enrolled in the Rainbow Gathering to learn the fine ways of watermelon culture ....






I wish I could get the motivation to finish my @#$% graduate paper.

JR


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## frazil (May 17, 2008)

^I don't think its watermelon culture they're studying.



jregieng said:


> I wish I could get the motivation to finish my @#$% graduate paper.


Go get 'em JR!






I wish I could take 3 months off and travel around somewhere in Asia.


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## mudpuppy (May 17, 2008)

frazil said:


> ^I don't think its watermelon culture they're studying.


They're definitely studying something green. . .



> I wish I could take 3 months off and travel around somewhere in Asia.


Granted! But you caught bird flu along the way:






I wish I had a new motorcycle.


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## MA_PE (May 17, 2008)

mudpuppy said:


> I wish I had a new motorcycle.


Done, you now have the world's smallest functioning motocycle.

Tom Wiberg (Sweden) built a motorcycle with a front wheel diameter of 16 mm (0.62 in) and a rear wheel diameter of 22 mm (0.86 in), and rode it for more than 10 m (32.8 ft) in Hökerum, Sweden in 2003. The micro machine has a wheelbase of 80 mm (3.14 in), a seat height of 65 mm (2.55 in), weighs 1.1 kg (2.4 lb) and is powered to a top speed of 2 km/h (1.24 mph) by its 0.22 kW (0.3 hp) engine.

I wish I were independently wealthy.


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## Dleg (May 18, 2008)

Gratned: You are now Michael Jackson






I wish I never had to get sick.


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## csb (May 19, 2008)

Granted! You're dead.

I wish I knew what toilet to pick out for my bathroom renovation...


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 19, 2008)

Here you go!






I wish hadn't pulled a leg muscle playing ball yesterday.


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## Capt Worley PE (May 19, 2008)

Best way to avoid that is not have legs!

Abracadabra!!!






I wish I had a cabin in the woods.


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## Sschell (May 19, 2008)

Here you go... don't mind the smell.






I wish I " knew a guy who knows a guy"


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## TouchDown (May 19, 2008)

You can now answer yes to this Red Cross Blood Health Question:

are you a male who has had sexual contact with another male, even once, since 1977

Thus, you "knew" a guy who "knew" a guy...

I wish my farts smelled like roses.


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## Dleg (May 19, 2008)

Well, this was as close as I could get you:






I wish the people surrounding me were just a little smarter...


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## maryannette (May 19, 2008)

Dleg said:


> I wish the people surrounding me were just a little smarter...


x=2((a**2+b**2)**.5/4ab Smart enough?

I wish I didn't have to clean this desk off.


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## TXengrChickPE (May 19, 2008)

mary said:


> I wish I didn't have to clean this desk off.


Granted.






I wish my house could clean itself.


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## maryannette (May 19, 2008)

TXengrChickPE said:


> I wish my house could clean itself.


Well, this should help with the laundry. That's a big job with a baby, right?

http://www.livescience.com/technology/070105_nanofabric.html

I wish I could sleep later in the morning.

Good night.


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## csb (May 21, 2008)

Granted! However, your new job requires some later hours.

I wish I could run a marathon.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 21, 2008)

^ Congratulations! The Boston Marathon committee wants you to organize next year's race. You'll 'run' everything from registrations to timekeeping to water stops. And don't forget those port-o-potties. There's a reason they call it the runner's trots!

I wish I owned a trendy restaurant.


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## MA_PE (May 21, 2008)

VTEnviro said:


> ^ Congratulations! The Boston Marathon committee wants you to organize next year's race. You'll 'run' everything from registrations to timekeeping to water stops. And don't forget those port-o-potties. There's a reason they call it the runner's trots!
> I wish I owned a trendy restaurant.


If you're moving here get it straight, It's the BAA (Boston Athletic Association) that organizes the Boston Marathon.


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## bigray76 (May 21, 2008)

VTEnviro said:


> ^ Congratulations! The Boston Marathon committee wants you to organize next year's race. You'll 'run' everything from registrations to timekeeping to water stops. And don't forget those port-o-potties. There's a reason they call it the runner's trots!
> I wish I owned a trendy restaurant.



I wish I could lose a few pounds!


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## mudpuppy (May 21, 2008)

bigray76 said:


> I wish I could lose a few pounds!


Nice going Ray, you lost £3000!

I wish I was vacationing in Vegas.


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## Dleg (May 21, 2008)

congrats! You now have one month in beautiful Las Vegas, New Mexico.







I wish I had a new hot water heater.


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## MA_PE (May 21, 2008)

Dleg said:


> I wish I had a new hot water heater.


done. you have your choice of two models. electric or gas

I wish I had a live-in maid/housekeeper.


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## Dleg (May 21, 2008)

I'll loan you mine:






I wish I could visit the bottom of the Marianas trench.


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## csb (May 22, 2008)

Here you are taking pictures of the trench!

I wish I could ride a train.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 22, 2008)

All aboard the 10:15 express to Auschwitz...






I wish my cat liked me more.


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## frazil (May 22, 2008)

Oh she likes you alright...






I wish I had some swedish fish.


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## TouchDown (May 22, 2008)

Sorry Ve are out of ze fish, ze chic chic? mmmm... Morph, Morph, Morph!






I wish I could go really fast!


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 22, 2008)

Here you go, straight out of the Baltic sea!

I wish I had a new stereo.


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## Capt Worley PE (May 22, 2008)

TouchDown said:


> I wish I could go really fast!


Done, but you really suck at stopping.






I wish I had a submarine.


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## Chucktown PE (May 22, 2008)

Capt Worley PE said:


> I wish I had a submarine.




I bequeath to us U-864. You should be able to find it about 500 feet under the Atlantic about 2.5 miles off the western Norway island of Fedje. It has about 70 U.S. tons of mercury aboard so you'll probably want to clean that up before you take her out for a spin.


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## FusionWhite (May 22, 2008)

^^^ You didnt make a wish so Ill steal it!

I wish I was an Olympic caliber fencer!


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## Dleg (May 22, 2008)

Granted!






I wish I had X-ray vision.


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## MA_PE (May 22, 2008)

Dleg said:


> I wish I had X-ray vision.


you got it. check out this supermodel!

I wish I had a 60's muscle car


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## Dleg (May 22, 2008)

Granted! And, it's so portable, you never have to worry if it doesn't start!






I wish I had a clone to do all my dirty work for me.


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## Guest (May 24, 2008)

Dleg said:


> I wish I had a clone to do all my dirty work for me.


Granted !!!






It's too bad you wanted the clone to get all of the 'dirty work' !!! :leghump:

I wish I could crash a BBQ grillfest this weekend.

JR


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## RIP - VTEnviro (May 24, 2008)

Here ya go! Attempted arson is gonna look great on your resume.






I wish I knew where I packed half of my belongings for the move.


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## Wolverine (May 26, 2008)

> I wish I knew where I packed half of my belongings for the move.


Oh, that one's easy. BLING! Congratulations: you know exactly where you packed half your belongings.

(It's the other half that you can't freakin find!)

But, since that one was so easy, I will also grant your wish a second time. BLING! I have sent a pencil back in time to you just as you started to pack your boxes so that you can label each box with its respective contents. It will be right there in the drawer. You just need to go over there and get it.

Unfortunately, I can't make you use it. Even Genie can't fix stupid.

I wish I had a ninja costume and ninja skills.


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## Flyer_PE (May 26, 2008)

Wolverine said:


> I wish I had a ninja costume and ninja skills.


Granted!

Unfortunately, you're a turtle.

I wish the air conditioner in my car worked.


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## ClemsonCE (May 26, 2008)

Flyer_PE said:


> Granted!
> 
> 
> Unfortunately, you're a turtle.
> ...



Granted! Unfortunately, it works a little TOO well now and your gas mileage sucks.

I wish I didn't have to work today.


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## Dleg (May 26, 2008)

Ouch- careful what you wish for.







I wish I could be Iron Man!


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## FusionWhite (May 26, 2008)

Dleg said:


> Ouch- careful what you wish for.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Granted, you've got more iron then you'll know what to do with.






I wish I lived in a cartoon.


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## csb (May 27, 2008)

Granted! However, watch out for your mate...I hear he likes to hump like a rabbit...

I wish I could go to Disneyland today.


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## TouchDown (May 28, 2008)

> I wish I could go to Disneyland today.


And you are Pluto. Your shift starts at 7AM and you play Pluto until 7PM. Good news is you get to do it EVERY day, FOREVER!






I wish I enjoyed going to work every day!


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## ODB_PE (May 28, 2008)

TouchDown said:


> And you are Pluto. Your shift starts at 7AM and you play Pluto until 7PM. Good news is you get to do it EVERY day, FOREVER!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thread hijack -

I knew a guy who played Pluto at Disney World! Actually, he was one of several, as there are 3 Plutos running around at any given time (so he said) It was a summer job for him. As an added bonus, the summer he was working David Letterman did a Top 10 list along the lines of worst summer jobs and high on the list was "the guy who plays pluto at Disney World". pretty random, but he got some mileage out of it.

EDITED - thanks to google I can find exactly what the Top 10 list was and when it was read:

Top 10 Things that Will Get You Kicked Out of Disney World - October

11, 1989

10. Driving down Main Street USA with Bambi's mother strapped to your fender.

9. Dumping medical waste into Sleeping Beauty's moat.

8. Boarding the monorail and announcing you're Bernie Goetz.

 7. Taunting guy in Pluto costume for not being able to get better job.

6. Declaring loudly, "I do believe in Tinkerbell!" in mens room.

5. Going after Chip and Dale with a weed-wacker.

4. After biting into snack bar sandwich saying, "I taste mouse."

3. Taking a leak in the Enchanted Forest.

2. Parading around in "Home of the Matterhorn" underwear.

1. Bringing your own mouse suit.

I guess my memory embellished a bit of it, but oh well...

Hijack complete - back to Touchdown's wish....


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## frazil (May 28, 2008)

TouchDown said:


> I wish I enjoyed going to work every day!








I wish someone would hem my curtains.


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## rudy (May 30, 2008)

frazil said:


> I wish someone would hem my curtains.


Poof! Princess has volunteered to help you out.






Am going to use this space for VT's unanswered wish:



VTEnviro said:


> I wish I had a new stereo.


----------



## TouchDown (Jun 4, 2008)

> I wish I had a new stereo.


It's new to you! Now, where did you put those 8-tracks of Willy Nelson, "Blue Eyes Cryin In the Rain"?






I wish I had a new pet!


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Jun 4, 2008)

Alakazam!!!






Can't say that he looks like he'd be fun to play with.

I wish I had a Fiat 850 Sport Coupe!


----------



## ODB_PE (Jun 4, 2008)

Nothing is as good around children as a hyena





doh! beat to the punch.. hmmm



> I wish I had a Fiat 850 Sport Coupe!








Buy it on eBay - only $20!

I wish this thread would die already...


----------



## FLBuff PE (Jun 20, 2008)

Granted, but it is a zombie, so it lives on...

I wish that I could go on a vacation


----------



## csb (Jun 20, 2008)

GRANTED! There's miles and miles and miles and miles of sand to relax on...well, at least to be on.






I wish money grew on trees.


----------



## bigray76 (Jun 20, 2008)

Too bad all of your trees got caught in a forest fire....

I wish I was having a cold drink right now!


----------



## rudy (Jun 21, 2008)

Granted ! Oopsie... too bad it's a little too much on the cold side... frozen in fact.






I wish I had a home theater.


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Jun 23, 2008)

SHAZAM!!!






Dang, that's some high tech stuff, rudy!

I wish the presidential election didn't start three years before voting day.


----------



## Dexman1349 (Jun 23, 2008)

Capt Worley PE said:


> I wish the presidential election didn't start three years before voting day.



Poof! You're now British






I wish I could switch carrers to a plastic surgeon.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Aug 20, 2008)

Thought I would bump this thread a little bit.

Poof, you are now a plastic surgeon........ that specializes in peforming male enhancement surgery.

I wish I hadn't totalled my car in a wreck.


----------



## Dexman1349 (Aug 20, 2008)

Chucktown PE said:


> I wish I hadn't totalled my car in a wreck.


Insurance declares it salvageable and sends it to Maaco:











I wish I was a photographer at the Playboy Mansion.


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Aug 20, 2008)

Granted, you're assigned to photograph all the candidates that didn't make the cut.







I wish there were more restaurants near my office.


----------



## csb (Aug 20, 2008)

Granted...but here's the menu.






I wish I could ride my bike everyday.


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Aug 20, 2008)

If it only _looks _ like squirrel, I wonder what it really is?

Granted - you're a bike buff. Too bad you missed that big bump there.

I wish I was hanging out at the dog park right now.


----------



## Dexman1349 (Aug 20, 2008)

VTEnviro said:


> I wish I was hanging out at the dog park right now.


Granted!!

Unfortunately it has 6' fences and contains wild rabid dogs.






I wish there was a large wave of hot women graduating with Engineering degrees right now.


----------



## Wolverine (Aug 27, 2008)

&lt;BLING&gt; Granted!

Unfortunately, they are also members of the Chinese Gymnastic Team and Chris Hanson has got his eye on you. I'd ask to see a birth certificate and at least two other forms of identification before starting up any chats.

I wish I had some new Happy Thoughts.


----------



## Guest (Sep 7, 2008)

^^^ Granted .. unfortunately it happens to be the wrong kind of change you were looking for in your life! hmy:






I wish I could actually go out on a date with someone who isn't actually psycho .....

JR


----------



## csb (Sep 8, 2008)

Granted and the good news is that he just can't quit you...






I wish the legislature wasn't full of pompous idiots.


----------



## jmbeck (Sep 8, 2008)

^^^^ Cannot be topped.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Nov 13, 2008)

csb said:


> I wish the legislature wasn't full of pompous idiots.


Granted, now it's full of pompous geniuses who happen to be socialists.

Still can't top the brokeback post. Ugh.

I wish my wife would stop spending so much money.


----------



## csb (Nov 13, 2008)

Good news! She quit spending money now that her campaign is over.






I wish Christmas decorations wouldn't go up the nanosecond after Halloween is over.


----------



## Dleg (Nov 13, 2008)

Granted! Christmas, or at least the commercial version that we know it as, is no longer possible now that Santa Claus is dead.


----------



## cement (Nov 13, 2008)

^this needs a wish bro


----------



## Dleg (Nov 13, 2008)

You're right!

I wish I could stop screwing around and finish my work.


----------



## Guest (Nov 13, 2008)

Granted!!!!

Except you went from dog leg humper to dog ... um .. happy ending or something! :wacko:






I wish my job involved a little more than tracking by spreadsheet ...

JR


----------



## Dleg (Nov 13, 2008)

Granted - you now get to do this for half the day:






I wish I could remember to get my hair cut before it starts to look crappy.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Nov 14, 2008)

Dleg said:


> I wish I could remember to get my hair cut before it starts to look crappy.


Granted, you went to a hair stylist way before your hair started to look crappy and they made you look like a douchebag.

I wish I had enough money to go out to lunch every day instead of bringing my lunch to work.


----------



## csb (Nov 14, 2008)

Granted! You never have to bring lunch from home again and there's always a wide variety.






I wish I could hang out with a celebrity.


----------



## Guest (Nov 14, 2008)

Granted ...

I am sure Cindy would be happy to add you to her merry band of nut jobs !!!!!






I wish I could manage to get to work on time ....

JR


----------



## MA_PE (Nov 14, 2008)

granted. you and the rest of the chain gang arrive to work together and on time.

I wish I was financially secure.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Feb 23, 2009)

This thread needs a bump.

Your wish is granted. For $100 you own this house free and clear. Without having to pay for housing you should be on easy street.

I wish I could find a car that meets my wife's specifications.


----------



## MA_PE (Feb 23, 2009)

and what is your wish to keep the chain alive?


----------



## Chucktown PE (Feb 23, 2009)

MA_PE said:


> and what is your wish to keep the chain alive?


I edited the post above.


----------



## Supe (Feb 23, 2009)

Your wish has been granted. The ultimate in technology and luxury!







I wish ESPN would STFU about Alex Rodriguez and steroids in baseball.


----------



## roadwreck (Feb 23, 2009)

Supe said:


> I wish ESPN would STFU about Alex Rodriguez and steroids in baseball.


Granted! The program directors at ESPN have decided to go in a different direction with the network. ESPN will now stand for the Everything Sweet &amp; Pretty Network. A large portion of airtime will now be devoted to the artistry behind rare porcelain dolls.






I wish I could find a functional and economical printer for home use.


----------



## cement (Feb 23, 2009)

wish granted! there will be twenty of these guys arriving, please prepare a room. they will eventually prepare the document you want.

I wish someone would clean my garage for me.


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Feb 23, 2009)

Look at that racist claptrap cement posted.

j/k...back to the show...


----------



## Guest (Feb 23, 2009)

cement said:


> I wish someone would clean my garage for me.


Granted !!!






But it looks like the specification wasn't tight enough ... hmy:

I wish I could find an easier way to get moved up to Michigan ...

JR


----------



## cement (Feb 23, 2009)

Capt Worley PE said:


> Look at that racist claptrap cement posted.


oh yeah?

How about this then?


----------



## Chucktown PE (Feb 23, 2009)

jregieng said:


> I wish I could find an easier way to get moved up to Michigan ...



Here you go, your stuff will be delivered by cargo drop next week. Assuming there is little wind, the drop shouldn't be more than 200 yards from your house.

I wish I could get our client to sign these contracts.


----------



## FLBuff PE (Feb 27, 2009)

Edited to fit the criteria:

Oh, they just signed the contracts. Good luck collecting on the invoice, though!

I wish I was skiing.


----------



## cement (Feb 27, 2009)

needs a pic^^


----------



## frazil (Feb 27, 2009)

FLBuff PE said:


> I wish I was skiing.


Its a beautiful day, but it looks like you took a wrong turn.






I wish the check was in the mail.


----------



## cement (Feb 27, 2009)

&lt;bracing for a goatse&gt;


----------



## Guest (Feb 27, 2009)

frazil said:


> I wish the check was in the mail.


Granted ....

"Hizzle is your chizzle bizzle"





JR


----------



## Chucktown PE (Feb 27, 2009)

You forgot to make a wish.


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Feb 27, 2009)

cement said:


> &lt;bracing for a goatse&gt;


Sure thing pal!


----------



## Guest (Feb 27, 2009)

Chucktown PE said:


> You forgot to make a wish.


I wish I could make it through this last day of work without the series of interruptions that seem to be preventing my SMOOTH departure!! &lt;_&lt;

JR


----------



## cement (Feb 27, 2009)

jregieng said:


> I wish I could make it through this last day of work without the series of interruptions that seem to be preventing my SMOOTH departure!! &lt;_&lt;
> JR


These folks had a smooth departure...

and a smooth landing. I think thier shoes got a little wet though.

I wish I could focus on work on a Friday afternoon!


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Feb 28, 2009)

No problem, here's a last minute project you can focus on all weekend on as well.

I wish my dog didn't wake me up at 6 AM on the weekends.


----------



## MA_PE (Feb 28, 2009)

VTEnviro said:


> No problem, here's a last minute project you can focus on all weekend on as well.
> I wish my dog didn't wake me up at 6 AM on the weekends.


done. he's not going to wake you anymore. happy now?

I wish all my worldly assets would grow and stop shrinking every day.


----------



## Dexman1349 (Mar 2, 2009)

MA_PE said:


> I wish all my worldly assets would grow and stop shrinking every day.


Done. You now have elephantitus of the scrotum...

In an attempt to keep this thread below a PG-13 rating, I will not post a picture.

I wish my daughter's diapers would stop epic failing (she needs a bath and we have "retired" several outfits because of about 1/3 of her diaper changes).


----------



## TouchDown (Mar 2, 2009)

Dex,

You now believe in EC and your kids don't wear diapers anymore!!! Congratulations:

http://www.thediaperfreebaby.com/whatIsEC.htm

Just make sure your company steers away from the brown stain on your couch.

I wish that it would warm up!!!


----------



## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

I am going to restart this thread ....



Dark Knight said:


> I do really need a vacation. I need it so badly that I am quoting myself....


Granted ..... you get a dream getaway to tropical, exotic ... FLORIDA !!!!







I wish my damn mortgage loan officer would get off her ass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ldman:

JR


----------



## csb (Aug 26, 2009)

Granted! But I don't know how you're going to get her ass back down.






I wish I had a job with less red tape.


----------



## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

Granted!!!!! Looks like like you have been offered a position by ObamaCare for those end of life counseling sessions ...






I wish I could find some way to meet my deadlines ...

JR


----------



## Wolverine (Aug 26, 2009)

&lt;BLUH-BLING!&gt;

Congratulations, you just received a Time Turner from Harry Potter series, which allows you to go back in time and finish things up.






The only downside is that knowing what a Time-Turner is makes you a Level-10 *UBER-*geek who will never get a date again, outside of the occasional hookup at DragonCon.






Good luck with that! Just be glad it's not a She-Klingon

I wish I was riding my bike through the mountains right now.


----------



## ElCid03 (Aug 26, 2009)

Wolverine said:


> &lt;BLUH-BLING!&gt;
> Congratulations, you just received a Time Turner from Harry Potter series, which allows you to go back in time and finish things up.
> 
> 
> ...


I don't know what to say other than this: I don't think even Supe has beer goggles that powerful! Woof to da izzo!


----------



## Guest (Aug 26, 2009)

Wolverine said:


> I wish I was riding my bike through the mountains right now.


Granted .. but it looks like a pretty grueling course ....






I wish I could wrap up my week on a high note ....

JR


----------



## Chucktown PE (Aug 26, 2009)

jregieng said:


> I wish I could wrap up my week on a high note ....
> JR



No problem. However, it may end up ruining some of your endorsement deals.




I wish I could find a better paying job.


----------



## Master slacker (Aug 26, 2009)

Chucktown PE said:


> I wish I could find a better paying job.


You're in luck! You even get paid in cash every night!






I wish my student loans were paid off.


----------



## csb (Aug 27, 2009)

Shazaam! Granted, but now you'll need to handle your financial affairs with these guys:






I wish stupid people would quit bothering me.


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Aug 27, 2009)

^Congrats, you will now be bothered by a bunch of Ivy League professors and MENSA members, who can gripe and bitch about their problems to you in far more articulate detail.

I wish I was doing something more exciting at work than a bunch of AutoCAD markups for a project I know nothing about.


----------



## Master slacker (Aug 27, 2009)

Happy days are here for you, my friend. You have been chosen to test the effects of combusting metal on the human flesh.






I wish there was a little more beer in the fridge for my Friday off.


----------



## csb (Aug 27, 2009)

This one is a miracle! Unfortunately, Jesus went cheap on the beer...






I wish it weren't fall so soon.


----------



## ElCid03 (Aug 27, 2009)

csb said:


> This one is a miracle! Unfortunately, Jesus went cheap on the beer...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Wow, hope you like your soul extra tasty crispy.

:mf_followthroughfart:


----------



## csb (Aug 27, 2009)




----------



## wilheldp_PE (Aug 27, 2009)




----------



## cement (Aug 30, 2009)

csb said:


> I wish it weren't fall so soon.


good news, it skipped right to winter! 


I wish I could get to sleep.


----------



## Master slacker (Sep 1, 2009)

cement said:


> I wish I could get to sleep.


You're going to sleep alright... with the fishes.






I wish my backyard grass would grow in a dead patch.


----------



## Guest (Sep 1, 2009)

Master slacker said:


> I wish my backyard grass would grow in a dead patch.


Granted !!!!!






I wish I could get my work done before I go on vacation in 1.5 days ....

JR


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted. You are now part of the 9% of unemployed Americans saved by the latest "stimulous package"...

I wish the owner's project engineer had a little more street smarts and didn't obsess over doing it "by the book."


----------



## Supe (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted. Your boss successfully used his street smarts to get the cops off his back by planting the drugs in your desk. You're now serving a 15 year felony possession charge.

I wish I could get rid of this cough.


----------



## Ble_PE (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted, you've just been given a year's supply of laxatives.

I wish we could get some work for our office.


----------



## Supe (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted. You're now part of a traveling sketch comedy group known as the "Office Clowns," fully equipped with Bozo attire for children's birthday parties.

I wish I didn't have to babysit this afternoon.


----------



## jeb6294 (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted. Someone found all the kiddie porn on your computer so you get to spend the next few years bunking with "Icepick" and once you get out you won't be allowed to live within 1000' of kids ever again.

I wish someone would buy our house.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Apr 20, 2010)

jeb6294 said:


> Granted. Someone found all the kiddie porn on your computer so you get to spend the next few years bunking with "Icepick" and once you get out you won't be allowed to live within 1000' of kids ever again.
> I wish someone would buy our house.



Done. I just purchased your house for $1. If you'd like I'll sell it back to you for $500,000.

I wish I was finished with this stinking stormwater permit.


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted. You are now the greatest stormwater modeler of all time, but forever banned from eb.com

I wish everyone on this project didn't have my cellphone number and would use the office number instead.


----------



## Ble_PE (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted, but now the telemarketers have your cell phone number.

I wish I didn't have to help my brother move this weekend.


----------



## Supe (Apr 20, 2010)

Done. You're a vegetable, and nobody expects much of anything from you anymore.

I wish our HR department would be wiped off the face of the planet.


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted. HR is now under the control of the Obama administration

I wish my boss would hire that hot EIT who interviewed here a month ago.


----------



## roadwreck (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted. Your boss just hired the 400lb guy that was sweating a lot.

I wish it were 5 o'clock.


----------



## MA_PE (Apr 20, 2010)

roadwreck said:


> Granted. Your boss just hired the 400lb guy that was sweating a lot.
> I wish it were 5 o'clock.


done it's no 5:00, quiiting time, and you are leaving your job sewing sneakers for Nike in a sweat shop in Malaysia.

I wish I were wealthy enough to retire comfortably.


----------



## Ble_PE (Apr 20, 2010)

Done, you are now wealthy enough to retire, but it's in Somalia.

I wish I could go to the beach.


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 20, 2010)

Done, you now have oceanfront property near chucktown't government post in Greenland.

I wish I didn't have to attend this conference call with the project owners.


----------



## Ble_PE (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted, instead you have to artificially inseminate Ester, the elephant at the zoo.

I wish I could have a beer.


----------



## Supe (Apr 20, 2010)

Granted. Enjoy your O'Douls.

I wish I had something good for dinner in the fridge.


----------



## cement (Apr 20, 2010)

Supe said:


> I wish I had something good for dinner in the fridge.


good luck with that




I wish this RFP would write itself.


----------



## MA_PE (Apr 20, 2010)

> I wish this RFP would write itself.


Done. Now you just have to organize and proofread it and make 100 copies for distribution.

I wish I understood the all the details of the Obamacare bill.


----------



## Supe (Apr 21, 2010)

Granted. Unfortunately, the government can't have anyone completely aware of all the bullshit they packed into it, so they put a hit out on you.

I wish my doctor's appointment was at 7:00 instead of 9:00.


----------



## Ble_PE (Apr 21, 2010)

Granted, but it was at 7 yesterday, so now you have to wait 2 weeks for another opening.

I wish my vacation would hurry up and get here.


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 21, 2010)

Granted. Your boss hopes your vacation goes well, but asks that you don't bother coming back if you actually go.

I wish my student loans would just disappear.


----------



## Ble_PE (Apr 21, 2010)

Granted, but so did your entire bank account and savings.

I wish I could just pay off my house.


----------



## Supe (Apr 21, 2010)

Granted. The new buyer covered everything after the bank auctioned it off.

I wish I could get some top notch antibiotics from the doc in a few minutes.


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 21, 2010)

Granted, but it was Dr. Feelgood. You got all kinds of good stuff, but you were instructed to take all of them at once. When you did so, Dr. Feelgood and his skank-ass nurses came into your house after you willingly let them in and sexed you out of your mind. Oh, they didn't mention to you that they are carriers of every STD known to mankind and even several that are too heinous to even be acknowledged by the medical community. You spend the rest of your blistered existence in an itchy fit with crotch rot. And MYAF kicks you in the ding-ding.

I wish life at 31 were as simple and care free as life at 8.


----------



## Paul S (Apr 21, 2010)

Granted, but now you are eight years old again and know everything you already know. You have to go to school again. And unfortunately your life expectancy will be 31 years shorter.

I wish that eating tons of garlic did not make me smell like a huge garlic.


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 21, 2010)

Granted. It just makes you a huge garlic that smells like BO.

I wish I had a million wishes.


----------



## Supe (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted. Unfortunately, there's the caveat that you can only wish for syndicated episodes of "Small Wonder."

I wish I got more than 3 hours sleep last night.


----------



## Ble_PE (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted, you are now in a coma.

I wish I had more coffee!


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted. You have just been put in the sorting piles with all of the coffee beans to be ground, roasted, and shipped to your home town. Your body, cut into a millions pieces, is now in countless Folgers coffee cans. Enjoy your stay.

I wish today goes by quickly so I can enjoy my 3 day weekend.


----------



## Inigo Montoya (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted, your office is raided by the Dread Pirate Roberts and you are taken captive on his ship where he will most likely kill you in the morning.

I wish I could find the six fingerd man.


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted. You find the 6 fingered man, but you realize he's the wrong one and is only wearing a prostetic...

I wish I could go to Vegas sooner.


----------



## JavaJim (Apr 22, 2010)

Dexman PE said:


> ...I wish I could go to Vegas sooner.


Congratulations! You are now in Lost Wages.




I wish I could get a promotion.


----------



## Supe (Apr 22, 2010)

JavaJim said:


> Dexman PE said:
> 
> 
> > ...I wish I could go to Vegas sooner.
> ...



Congrats. You are promoted to chief office sanitation engineer.

I wish I had a breath mint after lunch.


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted. The candy man unloaded in your mouth.

I wish the stray cats in my neighborhood would just die off already.


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted, now your house is full of dead stray cats.

I wish I would have some time off to recover.


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted. Your boss is making you ride the pine for the rest of your career. Go get me a cafe latte, lackey!

I wish turbine blades could auto heal themselves.


----------



## Supe (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted, they now can, but only the ones attached to your toilet.

I wish diet soda tasted like regular.


----------



## ElCid03 (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted but only Diet Nehi.

I wish my corvette did not have a blown relay.


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted. It now has a cracked block and a twisted frame.

I wish I could go out for beers now.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Apr 22, 2010)

Dexman PE said:


> Granted. It now has a cracked block and a twisted frame.
> I wish I could go out for beers now.



Granted, you'll be heading to Bob's Super Gay Homo Beer Bar.

I wish I could be in my new house by Christmas.


----------



## tcooper (Apr 22, 2010)

Chucktown PE said:


> I wish I could be in my new house by Christmas.


Granted - But unfortunately, your builder cut a few corners to stay in budget:




I wish I could go on vacation to the mountains this summer.


----------



## ElCid03 (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted but now you will have to marry your butch cousin.

I wish I could go on a cruise for my anniversary


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted. Unfortunately, your ship is hijacked by pirates and you're taken hostage.

I wish my wife would just give me a weekend off without the honey-do list.


----------



## JavaJim (Apr 22, 2010)

Your wish is granted. But now, Honey won't do what you want.

I wish I could review the entire PE exam coursework, do all problems in my texts and be prepared for the exam in one day.


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 22, 2010)

Granted. It all happens the day after the exam and you forget it before the next one.

I wish ESPN didn't go retarded over the NFL draft and actually show some sports like the NHL or NBA playoffs.


----------



## cement (Apr 22, 2010)

I think the grants are supposed to have pictures?


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 23, 2010)

^^^ FAIL!!!



Dexman PE said:


> Granted. It all happens the day after the exam and you forget it before the next one.
> I wish ESPN didn't go retarded over the NFL draft and actually show some sports like the NHL or NBA playoffs.


Granted. They now show only men's leg and crotch shaving competitions and that's the otnly channel you receive.

I wish i had mo alcyhol in my glass, yo!


----------



## Wolverine (Apr 26, 2010)

BLING! Granted.







But as the label clearly says, it's for external use only, and when you take your "invigorating rubdown" to try to injest it through the skin, you are suddenly painfully reminded that you passed out in the briar patch last night.

I wish that all Corrupt-A-Wishes had accompanying pictures.


----------



## goodal (Apr 26, 2010)

Granted, but this is the only picture that can be posted:




I wish i didnt have to get LEED acredited.


----------



## cement (Apr 27, 2010)

granted, now try that thing on for size.




I wish I was independently wealthy


----------



## Supe (Apr 27, 2010)

+1 SW


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 27, 2010)

cement said:


> I wish I was independently wealthy


Good news: You're wealthy!

Bad news: You're dead!






I wish 6 Sigma wasn't pushed so hard in my company.


----------



## Supe (Apr 27, 2010)

Granted. The company folded. Unfortunately, every other company pushes 6S twice as hard!

I wish my racecar wasn't plotting against me.


----------



## ElCid03 (Apr 27, 2010)

Granted. Now you your are stuck with her, her lovely tramp stamp, and crabs:






I wish the Lions will be over .500 this season.


----------



## Dexman PE (Apr 27, 2010)

Granted, they win every preseason game, then the owners lockout the regular season.






I wish my interview goes well for this new job.


----------



## jassiinpublic (Apr 28, 2010)

Dexman PE said:


> Granted, they win every preseason game, then the owners lockout the regular season.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Granted. The interview with go extremely well but the company will sit on you application for weeks and make you sweat before you get a "Dear John" letter.

I wish that my GMAT score will open up door for top 5 MBA programs.


----------



## Supe (Apr 28, 2010)

Granted. You are accepted into the top 5 Masters of Bavarian Architecture programs.

I wish the audit team couldn't find me.


----------



## tcooper (Apr 29, 2010)

"I wish the audit team couldn't find me."

Granted, but I hope your arms are strong enough to hold on until they quit looking for you.





I wish I was flyfishing in a beautiful mountain stream in Colorado.


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 29, 2010)

Granted. However, when the men you were fishing with realized what you were doing to the fronts of their jeans, they tested your ability to breathe underwater. BTW, you can't.

I wish I didn't have so much clutter on my desk.


----------



## ElCid03 (Apr 29, 2010)

Master slacker said:


> Granted. However, when the men you were fishing with realized what you were doing to the fronts of their jeans, they tested your ability to breathe underwater. BTW, you can't.
> I wish I didn't have so much clutter on my desk.


Granted know you have the ugly janitor spread out instead.

I wish I did not have to drive to Fort Belvoir for drill.


----------



## Ble_PE (Apr 30, 2010)

Granted, you now have to walk and it's raining.

I wish it was 4 pm already.


----------



## Master slacker (Apr 30, 2010)

Granted. It's currently 4:00 PM in Qatar. They are rejoicing in the end of a work day all while laughing at you because you just got to work.

I wish I had some more theater style popcorn. That stuff was good yesterday.


----------



## Wolverine (Apr 30, 2010)

[SIZE=14pt]*BLING!*[/SIZE]

Granted.

And it's all you can sweep!







I wish this nagging sore throat would go away.


----------



## Dark Knight (Apr 30, 2010)

Granted






I wish I do not give a hoot about my job.


----------



## csb (Oct 13, 2011)

Granted! But when you get to the center, it's all over.






I wish all my projects were all caught up.


----------



## Dark Knight (Oct 13, 2011)

There you go.

I wish for not to be unemployed after January


----------



## Wolverine (Oct 13, 2011)

(BLING!)

Congratulations! Mike Rowe retired and now you have his job!






I wish all these scattered papers on my desk would organize themselves into a coherent pile of do-ability.


----------



## Supe (Oct 13, 2011)

Granted! The papers have joined into a very do-able paper model of Angelina Jolie. The resultant paper cuts however, are excruciating.

I wish I could have a super-sweet Halloween jack-o-lantern.


----------



## csb (Oct 13, 2011)

Granted! It's the sweetest one we have!






I wish I could lose the last 10 pounds I need to lose.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 13, 2011)

Granted, but on the plus side it's only a flesh wound...






I wish my landlord would get his head out of his ass and give me my deposit back.


----------



## Slugger926 (Oct 13, 2011)

Dexman PE said:


> Granted, but on the plus side it's only a flesh wound...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Your landlord gives you your deposit in Viet Dongs. 1500 VD is less than $1.

I wish I owned and ran my dream company.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 13, 2011)

Granted, except you dream about unicorn men:






I wish my backyard landscaping would be done for free.


----------



## knight1fox3 (Oct 13, 2011)

Granted. But the contractor also did the landscaping for the house from the Money pit. They also do home renovations. 






I wish I were doing better in my graduate Linear Algebra course (professor is too smart for the class).


----------



## envirotex (Oct 13, 2011)

Granted. You make a perfect score on the next exam, but the class is cancelled for the semester because your "too smart" professor fled the country for embezzlement from the school. You must retake the class again next semester.

I wish I could run a half marathon in 130 minutes.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 13, 2011)

Granted. Unfortunately you have to be put down after rolling your ankle at the finishline:

Edit: photo of horse with broken leg removed. -Sorry, Dex.

I wish my computer at home work turn back on so I dont have to rely on my cell phone for internet access.


----------



## Wolverine (Oct 14, 2011)

&lt;BLING!&gt;

Oh it turns back on alright.... by itself....and it seems to have a new agenda.






I wish my curiosity would never again cause me to go look up images on the internet that I do not want to see (reference edit from previous post).


----------



## Slugger926 (Oct 14, 2011)

Wolverine said:


> &lt;BLING!&gt;
> 
> Oh it turns back on alright.... by itself....and it seems to have a new agenda.
> 
> ...


Granted, but now a virus takes over your computer so the images automatically open up and IT security is coming after you like on the Matrix.

I wish that I win the many millions in the lottery.


----------



## Master slacker (Oct 14, 2011)

Granted. But, being wealthy, you are now the target of the "Occupy Slugger's Street" protest. The neighborhood sues you for neighborhood clean up costs after the protesters leave. You lose everything.

I wish that my mortgage were paid off.


----------



## Ble_PE (Oct 14, 2011)

Granted, but it was paid off when the bank sold your foreclosed home at auction.

I wish I was drinking a beer.


----------



## Wolverine (Oct 14, 2011)

&lt;BLING!&gt;

Wish granted! You get several beers. And a few tequila shots. And some free goggles.

And then you even get lucky!






Except that's not your wife.

But it is the sister of one of her good friends.

And she talks.

A lot.

About everything.

I wish I could get back in shape!


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 14, 2011)

Granted: Round is a shape.







I wish we could finish this page out so that naked man on the toilet would stop appearing when I open this thread.


----------



## roadwreck (Oct 14, 2011)

Granted, but this is what is going to be at the top of the next page






I wish I didn't have to run 23 miles tomorrow morning.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 14, 2011)

Poof!!! You are now the woman in that pic and cant even run 0.23 miles.

I wish I was out playing golf today.


----------



## knight1fox3 (Oct 14, 2011)

Granted! But you'll be playing at Bushwood Country Club with Judge Smails.






On top of that you'll have to try and concentrate while the greens-keeper is taking care of a rodent problem.






I wish the battery on my new HTC Thunderbolt lasted longer than half a day.


----------



## Wolverine (Oct 14, 2011)

&lt;BLING&gt;

Congratulations. You have a new battery with a half life of 357 years.

It's a limited edition though and a little cumbersome to wear.






I wish the accounting group in the cubicles next to me wouldn't chatter incessantly!


----------



## csb (Oct 14, 2011)

Granted! But they are a little pissed you had the boss come after them.






I wish our 1:30 projects meeting was canceled.


----------



## Master slacker (Oct 14, 2011)

Wish granted. They moved into your cubicle when they realized you weren't participating. DAMN!

Wish granted. Your project is deemed to be unnecessary... as is your team... as are you. You're now Occupying Wall St.

I wish 2:30 would hurry up and get here.


----------



## Slugger926 (Oct 14, 2011)

Master slacker said:


> Wish granted. They moved into your cubicle when they realized you weren't participating. DAMN!
> 
> Wish granted. Your project is deemed to be unnecessary... as is your team... as are you. You're now Occupying Wall St.
> 
> I wish 2:30 would hurry up and get here.



Granted as you have been kidnapped, and on a plane in the 2:30 AM time zone to be a slave in a poppy plantation.

I wish I was going to Disney World with the family this weekend.


----------



## Master slacker (Oct 15, 2011)

Granted. This is your family...






and this is why they're going without you...






I wish this awesome weather would last longer than just a couple of months.


----------



## Supe (Oct 16, 2011)

Granted! Except it leads to Al Gore claiming to have solved global warming, and is elected President of the Universe.






I wish my grass would grow, despite that crappy Pennington seed not sprouting worth a damn.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 16, 2011)

Granted, unfortunately it grows so fast you lose everything you have outside and the city condemns your property.






I wish our new puppy would stop peeing on the floor and would take his business outside.


----------



## Supe (Oct 16, 2011)

Granted. He shits on the floor instead, starts a construction business in your backyard, and a few short months later kicks you out after declaring "eminent domain."

I wish there was ice cream cake that was healthy for you.


----------



## Master slacker (Oct 17, 2011)

Granted. You create celery ice cream. Not only did you invent it, but you're also the poster boy and you LIKE IT! Bottoms up!






I wish that my performance review this year goes really well.


----------



## csb (Oct 17, 2011)

Granted! Only now you work at a Russian McDonald's.






I wish it was Friday!


----------



## Master slacker (Oct 17, 2011)

With your enthusiasm... POW! Not only is today Friday, but tomorrow will be, too! In fact, every day is now Friday. So long, weekend. Hello VEEEEEERRRRRRYYYYY long work week.

I wish I didn't have to provide so much feedback for my coworkers' reviews every year.


----------



## Wolverine (Oct 19, 2011)

*&lt;**BLING**&gt;*

Ask and ye shall receive!

No one is asking for your feedback anymore!

Especially now that they moved your office down to the basement and corrected that little error in Payroll Accounting.






I wish the level of douchebaggery around here tomorrow would diminish to (well) below acceptable tolerance range.


----------



## Slugger926 (Oct 20, 2011)

Wolverine said:


> *&lt;**BLING**&gt;*
> 
> Ask and ye shall receive!
> 
> ...


Granted, you are quarantined in your place of work for the next six months due to some new virus a coworker caught after everyone has left for the day.

I wish my house to be cleaned out except for the valuables.


----------



## Wolverine (Oct 20, 2011)

Slugger926 said:


> I wish my house to be cleaned out except for the valuables.


&lt;*"BLING"*&gt;

Congratualations! Your house is now totally cleaned, inside and out:






I wish that this was the last post on this page so that we can honor the previous wish to never have to see the naked man on the toilet ever again.


----------



## roadwreck (Oct 20, 2011)

Granted. Unfortunaley that guy is at the top of this page as well.






I wish EPD guidelines made more some sense.


----------



## pbrme (Oct 26, 2011)

Granted...






In an effort to dumbdown Early Pregnancy Detection guidlines...

this one slips by, daddy never loves her, rebels and starts smoking in 5th grade...

runs escort ads in college and gett's adidded to crack...grows up to be #2 from top of page.






I wish I could own a tesla roadster.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 26, 2011)

Granted. Unfortunately you find out what happens when you hit 100 mph:







I wish I would stop finding things that need to be replaced/fixed on my Bronco (found out this morning during my drive to work in the snow that the heater doesn't work).


----------



## pbrme (Oct 26, 2011)

*BAM* your wish is my command... but while at the lot trading in your *F*ix *O*r *R*epair *D*aily, you're indecisive and consider showing off the new *P*roof *O*f *R*ich *S*poiled *C*hildren *H*aving *E*verything but common, putting snow chains on them isn't trendy. The *J*ust *E*mpty *E*very *P*ocket aisle beckons but you walk stoic. *C*onstantly *H*aving *E*very *V*ehicle *R*ecalled *O*ver *L*ousy *E*ngineering *T*echniques is not the answer but you'd rather be in one than in an *O*ld *L*ady *D*riving *S*lowly *M*aking *O*thers *B*ehind *I*nsanely *L*ate *E*veryday. In the end you settle for *A*nother *U*gly *D*eutsche *I*nvention.

I wish I didn't eat those cajun rice and beans


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 26, 2011)

Granted!! Instead you found what looked to be a very nice plate of leftovers only to discover halfway through eating it that it belonged to your easily angered and over-reacting boss who's currently working on the company "realignment" plan...

I wish I had admin rights to delete the three inserted pics at the top of this page.


----------



## Master slacker (Oct 26, 2011)

* POOF * Wish granted. You hacked the accounts of Road Guy and VT and find the secret password. You erased the pics and then called RG and VT some not so nice names. Children cry, women weep, and dogs howl. They both find out, ban you (who'd a thunk?), and permanently reattach the pics to the original posts. All is right again with the world.

I wish I didn't have to rely so much on coffee in the morning.


----------



## Guest (Oct 27, 2011)

(One of my all time favorite threads)

*POOF* WIsh granted, you can now look forward to each morning getting started with choclately delight!!






I wish these damn leaves would clean themselves up!!

JR


----------



## pbrme (Nov 11, 2011)

*BAHLING* Wish granted, the leaves file together like a choreographed scene from Fantasia, but while maintenancing your leaf vac you overlooked some fine print.






I wish I had a massage.


----------



## Wolverine (Nov 11, 2011)

pbrme said:


> *BAHLING* Wish granted, the leaves file together like a choreographed scene from Fantasia, but while maintenancing your leaf vac you overlooked some fine print.
> 
> I wish I had a message.


*&lt;BLING!&gt;*

Here you go.






Genie even put it in a bottle for you.

I wish I had a tiny pianist that I could carry around in my pants pocket to play music for me whenever I liked.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Nov 11, 2011)

Granted.

Unfortunately, the genie mis-understood you and instead gave you a tiny penis and put holes in all your front pockets...

I wish I had a set of bolt-cutters so I can cut the lock off my circuitbreaker box and reset the CB that controls my kitchen lighting.


----------



## blybrook PE (Nov 11, 2011)

Granted.

Unfortunately, the lock and entire box was electrified by the blown circuit giving you the ride of your life. Your life has been reset...

I wish that the neighbors would get control over their 13+ dogs and keep them from howling all night...


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## pbrme (Nov 12, 2011)

Granted,

Zombie Indians raise from neighbor's backyard as you play "native death" at that night's Magic the Gathering game.

Culdisac nerds turn in unison from the garage's makeshift tourney table to side yard window as carnage is released.

blybrook PE, a level 14 undead, is humbled as an onslaught of nerd revenge approaches.

I wish i was a little bit taller.


----------



## mudpuppy (Dec 2, 2011)

And it has become so:






Sorry now you're a giraffe.

I wish I could find a non-psycho girlfriend.


----------



## Wolverine (Dec 5, 2011)

*&lt;BZRING!&gt;*

Granted.

Only problem is... to find one non-psycho, you have to go off-planet.






I wish I could have an awesome 4.5 days of high productivity and accomplishment before checking out of here mid-day on Friday.


----------



## pbrme (Dec 5, 2011)

&lt;BAMMM&gt;

Your wish came true, but while off-planet, mudpuppy discovers a vortex which, makes, time travel, possible.

Your week ends in the previous week and you rinse and repeat.

I wish I could get a nice fatty xmas bonus this year.


----------



## Master slacker (Dec 5, 2011)

Ba-ZOW! Wish granted. You worked hard for it. Enjoy!

I wish tracking our purchase order history weren't such a fuster-cluck.


----------



## knight1fox3 (Dec 5, 2011)

Granted! There is a new AI and software development firm in town that promises fast results and little or no hassle. In addition they've offered a much easier method to track purchase orders within your company.






I wish my first grad school class wasn't an advanced engineering mathematics course.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Dec 5, 2011)

Granted. Unfortunately It has been changed to underwater basket weaving and you don't know how to swim...






I wish the snow would let-off long enough to let me finish my backyard fence.


----------



## blybrook PE (Dec 5, 2011)

Granted, however it is now tornado season...






You're entire fence and home is gone. You need to relocate to a safer location and restart from scratch...

I wish it was between -40 and -20 degrees F again...


----------



## mudpuppy (Dec 5, 2011)

Granted!!!

And you just got frostbite on your you-know-what and will never be able to use it again.

I wish I had a private jet.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Dec 5, 2011)

Congrats, you are now rppearso and will forever be mocked on eb.com

I wish I knew what our 2012 raises will be.


----------



## pbrme (Dec 5, 2011)

Congrats, you get a sneak peek from the I.T. guy as he's updating your Java.

Your jelly of the month club membership will be the gift that gives. all. year. long.

I wish I had unlimited wishes.


----------



## Wolverine (Dec 5, 2011)

*&lt;BBBLLLNNNGGGG!!!!!!&gt;*

Why of course your wish is granted.

But you are stuck in the Corrupt-A-Wish thread.

Go ahead, wish away.

PS: Here's your Genie... and yes, she likes to mess with you for her own amusement







I wish Barbara Eden (c1968) were my genie (see how I pre-empted trouble there?)


----------



## pbrme (Dec 8, 2011)

&lt;&lt;GIZZAMMM&gt;&gt; - - -,

She's all yours. Fortunately for you, amazon has released the complete first season.

...but, after opening up the delivery package your pipi falls off... oops.






I wish I knew if this is a duck or a rabbit.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 5, 2012)

Granted!! You're told what it is, but you have developed a case of short term memory loss and forget it within seconds.

I wish the contractor building my patio would just hurry up and finish the project.


----------



## Ble_PE (Jun 5, 2012)

Granted, but here's the finished product:






I wish I was at the beach with a CAB in my hand.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 5, 2012)

Granted!!

Unfortunately, you're at the beach helping with the latest oil spill






I wish I could take a summer vacation as long as the ones my kids have.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Jun 5, 2012)

^ Granted. But your summer vacation will be here. Siberia. Hope you pack a warm coat.

I wish I could afford a new truck.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 5, 2012)

Granted!!

Unfortunately, you will have to fight mini-chuck for the right to use it.






I wish I could take the rest of the day off and spend it with my family.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Jun 5, 2012)

Granted. Unfortunately they are all puking and have diarrhea and you have to clean it all up.

I wish I could go fishing the rest of the week.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 5, 2012)

Granted. You are now the greenhorn on the Kodiak and must tend to the bait station...






I wish everyone on eb.com got 10% pay raises.


----------



## Supe (Jun 5, 2012)

Granted! They docked Dex's pay to make up the difference.

I wish this iPhone was easier to type on.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Jun 5, 2012)

Granted. Now your fingers are 1/3 their original size. Your lady friend is less than pleased.. :eyebrows:

I wish I had a sprinkler system.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 5, 2012)

Granted. Unfortunately, it only sprinkles on you.






I wish we had better candidates to vote for in November.


----------



## Wolverine (Jun 6, 2012)

Too easy....

*&lt;BLING!&gt;* Now it's a four way race with two more good choices:






I wish I had a hottie masseusse to rub out this kink in my neck I got from sleeping wrong

(AND I wish I knew how to spell masseusse with confidence - that's two wishes).


----------



## pbrme (Jun 6, 2012)

**&lt;Fffmmzzzmmm'ing&gt;* *_Wish is granted..._

The hottest Masseuse in the world shows up and proceeds to warmup on your neck, sending you into a trance. She immediately gets turned on and starts heading down south, but finds your dirty little secret and bolts.






As for you other wish... ask your little pal...

I wish... I wish the grass was mowed, edged, and weedwhacked by the time I get home after work.


----------



## envirotex (Jun 6, 2012)

Granted. But your new lawnservice accidentally mows the neighbors grass instead.

View attachment 5158


I wish someone would go to the grocery store for me.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 6, 2012)

Granted!!

Unfortunately they run up a tap so high you end up with the mafia after to settle it.






I wish I didn't have to go to so many damn meetings.


----------



## Master slacker (Jun 6, 2012)

Baaa...... ZIIIIINNNGGG!!!!

Granted. You no longer have to, but you read a self-help book as suggested by your boss. Now do you not only "choose" to go to them, but you make required weekly meetings for your working group to teach them how valuable choices are. :wub:

After one of those meetings, your team throws you over a cliff.






I wish Thursday (my Friday this week) would hurry up and get here.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 6, 2012)

Granted!! Unfortunately, your vacation request is revoked Thursday afternoon because you forgot the coversheets on your TPS reports. By the way,






I wish my house was paid off.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Jun 6, 2012)

Congratulations. Your house is now paid off. To celebrate, you and your family take a vacation. While on vacation your homeowner's insurance was cancelled and lightning struck your house causing a fire, which burnt said house to the ground.




I wish I could get motivated to start running again.


----------



## engineergurl (Jun 6, 2012)

too easy, granted....

but you are running away from ZOMBIES (sorry had to go there)... and since you never found the motivation before this, they catch you and eat your brains...

I wish that I wasn't constantly using my vacation time to run errands...


----------



## Supe (Jun 6, 2012)

Granted!

They took away your vacation time, and you now have to run your errands during unpaid time off.

I wish the assholes at our project in Virginia would do their work right the first time.


----------



## knight1fox3 (Jun 6, 2012)

GRANTED!

Your project is finished correctly and you are assigned a new crew for the next project.







I wish I was further along on my masters degree.


----------



## Supe (Jun 6, 2012)

Congrats! You've now completed 40 credit hours... of your 90 credit hour Master's of Divinity degree.

I wish I hadn't just worked a 16 hour day.


----------



## Master slacker (Jun 7, 2012)

Baaa...... ZOW!!! Granted. You didn't work 16 hours. You showed up for a 16 hour work day, but you slept in the office with your feet kicked up all day. Unfortunately, your boss noticed, got tired of your shenanigans, chlorophormed you, and dumped you into the next concrete pour all while saying, "Tell Jimmy Hoffa 'Hi' for us!".

I wish my coffee pot would hurry up and finish making my coffee.


----------



## knight1fox3 (Jul 13, 2012)

Poof!!! Coffee is finally done! But the Chief of Malibu got the last cup and saved it just for you! And he doesn't like your jerk-off name!






I wish it were the end of the work day so the weekend could begin!


----------



## csb (Jul 13, 2012)

Work day is over! Although...






Guess it's going to be a long weekend...

I wish I was going to get a massage this weekend.


----------



## Kephart P.E. (Jul 13, 2012)

Granted! You get your massage, too bad it is from her.

She thinks you want a happy ending you get a UTI.


----------



## Kephart P.E. (Jul 13, 2012)

I wish I get work on my motorcycle all weekend instead of watching my 11 month old.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jul 13, 2012)

Granted. Unfortunately everything you touch breaks. Before you know it, you're covered in grease and gasoline standing over a pile of parts that will never work again.






I wish everyone could make it to the next eb.com convention.


----------



## mudpuppy (Jul 13, 2012)

Granted! All your favorites are going to show up: McF'tard, GT ME, rrpearso. . .

I wish I didn't have to go into work tomorrow.


----------



## pbrme (Jul 16, 2012)

Granted! You call a co-worker to cover and stay up late taking body shots of Tequila off of the Neighbor's daughter who's home from college and having a pool party. Now you have herpes.

I wish airstrikes could be called on crappy drivers.


----------



## Master slacker (Jul 16, 2012)

Ka-ZOW!!! The last thing you see is a squadron of F-16's closing in behind you...

I wish my camera's battery would stop holding only three pictures worth of a charge.


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Jul 16, 2012)

Granted, it now has hundreds of pictures of you with an underage male prostitute.

I wish there was something good around the house for lunch.


----------



## envirotex (Jul 16, 2012)

Granted. Your favorite celebrity chef shows up and makes you the best meal you've ever had, but while the crew is cleaning up their equipment, a large grease fire is started and burns your house to the ground.

I wish I had a pool, and a pool service.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jul 16, 2012)

Granted. Here's your pool, and the service provider (BTW, he uses the pool whenever he wants too):






I wish I could just get my damn backyard landscaping done and not have to figure this out anymore.


----------



## Wolverine (Jul 17, 2012)

> I wish I could just get my damn backyard landscaping done and not have to figure this out anymore.


*&lt;BLING!!&gt;*
A couple of your buddies show up and fix your landscaping for you.






_"Hyuh hyuh hyuh, Check it out Dex! Me &amp; Earl done got all arTEEstic in yer yard. Check out them circles. It's like Salvadore F%#^$ing Dolly wuz here!"_

I wish my contribution at work was appreciated and compensated accordingly.


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Jul 18, 2012)

Granted, your boss realizes you sit around and spam all day, and cuts your pay in half.

I wish I had the chocolate lab in Dex's post. (Have I ever mentioned how much I like labs around here? Particularly chocolate ones?)


----------



## engineergurl (Jul 18, 2012)

Granted, only you didn't let the apartment people know you got a second dog and they booted you out so now you are homeless.

I really wish that I was done with this packing and loading part of the move.


----------



## knight1fox3 (Jul 18, 2012)

&lt;Woosh!&gt; Granted! Now it's time to unpack!! 






I wish I could find a 1366 extreme CPU for less than $400.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jul 18, 2012)

I wish knightfox had remembered to make a wish.


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Jul 18, 2012)

Yeah, so we just picked and wished him to be a eunuch.

I wish the Mets would win a game or two after this latest shitfest of a week.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jul 18, 2012)

Granted. They win one game out of a 3 game series against the local girl scout troop.







I wish I didn't have to review all of these change order requests.


----------



## knight1fox3 (Jul 18, 2012)

Dexman PE said:


> I wish knightfox had remembered to make a wish.


Granted. Now all posts after that should be deleted like it never happened. You saw nothing.


----------



## Wolverine (Jul 18, 2012)

*[bLING!]*

Your boss comes in slightly drunk and says "FTS! No more reviewing change order requests! Just give them the..."






Unfortunately, two days later he sobers up and says "HFS! Who approved a &amp;^#%^ *POOL*? On a *DOT bridge project?!?!?* "






I wish the next good looking girl that hits on me in a bar would be closer to my age and not my mothers (or daughters for that matter)

(see what I did there? I preempted the corrupt-a-).


----------



## engineergurl (Jul 18, 2012)

granted, unfortunatly, her husband (whom she forgot to mention to you) that has been locked in jail just happened to get out that night and finds you two getting hot and heavy suck face in the parking lot before anything happens and all you end up with is a broken nose.

I wish the rain had held off and not started before I finished loading the POD's today...


----------



## pbrme (Jul 18, 2012)

Granted! You hustle and finish loading the POD's just as the storm hits... but in your haste you forgot that you left your cell phone and keys on an end table at the front of the POD. You proceed to crawl across the top of the stacks of movables when all of a sudden a crack of thunder outside startles you, and causes you to slip headfirst down a crevasse of barbie doll boxes and S&amp;M devices. You're stuck there for days until some really, really strange guy came up and knocked on the door to let you know he had noticed some people eyeing the storage units in the driveway.

I wish Bigfoot were real.


----------



## Dexman PE PMP (Jul 18, 2012)

Granted. Unfortunately, you're scheduled to marry her this weekend.






(Note to the group, be VERY careful doing google searches for "hairy woman" on work computers...)

I wish I had enough money to pay off everything for the house.


----------



## Wolverine (Jul 19, 2012)

*[bLING!]*

Granted: a box of money falls from the sky.

Oops there's a problem. Seems the box is full of those new polymer/plastic Canadian bills and it's been sitting next to the heater too long.






Once again, I wish I had the self-control to resist doing something when someone says not to do something (as in, "Whatever you do, don't Google search "Hairy Woman" while at work. *GYUH!*)


----------



## Master slacker (Jul 19, 2012)

Bam-Zowie! Granted. Dexman told you to GFY, which you resisted doing. Congratulations. Only problem is that you couldn't do it even if you wanted. You're a quadriplegic.

I wish I could dump my action items to someone else.


----------

