# Pick up Lines - What's your best?



## DVINNY (Aug 27, 2010)

OK.

I'm going to keep sending VERY CHEESY pick-up lines to my wife. This will be my attempt to annoy the shiat out of her, but at the same time, showing small amounts of attention throughout the day.

After 19 years (dating &amp; married), ya still gotta keep 'em laughing.

So today, I'm sending:

*ARE YOUR LEGS TIRED?............. cause you've been runnin' thru my mind all day.*

Please, help me out for future comments, and post your best here.


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## ktulu (Aug 27, 2010)

Baby, somebody better call God, b/c he's missing an angel!


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## picusld (Aug 27, 2010)

if you don't have any sugar to put in the coffee, you can just touch it.


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## Sschell (Aug 27, 2010)

"if I told you you hd a nice body would you hold it against me?"


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## Wolverine (Aug 27, 2010)

Wow, I love that dress you're wearing. It looks so good on you. You know what else would look good on you?

?

?

?

Me.


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## Sschell (Aug 27, 2010)

its hard to beat:

"nice shoes wanna fuck?"


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## DVINNY (Aug 27, 2010)

Last night, I started off......

"Wanna get naked and spit all over each other?"


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## Capt Worley PE (Aug 27, 2010)

You know what I like about you? My arms.


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## DVINNY (Aug 27, 2010)

me "WANNA GET A PIZZA, THEN SCREW?"

her "NO"

me "WHAT, YOU DON'T LIKE PIZZA?"


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## Master slacker (Aug 27, 2010)

Dammit, sschell. You took mine.


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## csb (Aug 27, 2010)

Your daddy must be a thief, because he stole the stars from heaven and put them in your eyes.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Aug 27, 2010)

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me

I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too

I love to hear you oralize

When I'm between your thighs

You blow me away


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## FusionWhite (Aug 27, 2010)

My favorite is (I think this is from The Ladies Man):

Was your daddy a meat burglar? Because it looks like he stole two fine canned hams and stuffed them down the back of your pants.


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## Chucktown PE (Aug 27, 2010)

VTEnviro said:


> Sit on my face and tell me that you love meI'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too
> 
> I love to hear you oralize
> 
> ...



VT, I thought yours would have something to do with a goatse.

Like, "Your eyes are as big and beautiful as the hole of a goatse."


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## Master slacker (Aug 27, 2010)

"a goatse"? Is there more than one?


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## Supe (Aug 27, 2010)

If your legs are Christmas and Thanksgiving, I say we get together between the holidays.


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## DVINNY (Aug 27, 2010)

me, DID IT HURT?

her, WHAT?

me, WHEN YOU FELL FROM HEAVEN.


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## KEG (Aug 27, 2010)

you: Do you like apples?

her:yes

you: Well then lets screw, how do you like them apples!


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## Supe (Aug 27, 2010)

(Stolen from the internet)

Did you fart? Because you just blew me away!

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can definitely see myself in your pants.

You're like a dictionary ... you add meaning to my life.

Sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up.

Do you have a bandaid? I scraped my knee when I fell for you

I Lost my number, can I have yours?

Do you work for UPS? Because I swear I saw you checkin’ out my package.

Are you from Tennessee cause you’re the only ten I see?

I just ate some skittles, do you want to taste the rainbow?

Have you got a library card, because I want to check you out?


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## cement (Aug 27, 2010)

Master slacker said:


> "a goatse"? Is there more than one?


sounds like a photoshop project


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## cement (Aug 27, 2010)

Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.


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## baddriver (Aug 27, 2010)

Do you work at Subway?

Because you're giving me a footlong


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## Sschell (Aug 27, 2010)

Supe said:


> Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can definitely see myself in your pants.


this one reminds me of:

is that a keg in your pants? cause I want to tap that ass!



Supe said:


> I just ate some skittles, do you want to taste the rainbow?


human centipede pick up line?


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## NCcarguy (Aug 27, 2010)

you: Here's a few aspirin...

her: Why? I don't have a headache.

you: Then lets go screw!


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## Dexman PE (Aug 27, 2010)

Hey baby, just picked up some condoms at Big Lots...


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## FLBuff PE (Aug 27, 2010)

Dexman PE said:


> Hey baby, just picked up some condoms at Big Lots...


Winner, winner chicken dinner! :spit:


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## Supe (Aug 29, 2010)

Lets pretend your ass is Rodney King and I'm a police officer so I can hit that.


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## DVINNY (Sep 9, 2010)

Found 100 good ones...

I'm a raindrop and I'm falling for you.

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet

I must be a Snowflake, becuase I've fallen for you.

I know somebody that thinks they might like you a lot. And if I wasn't so shy, I would tell you who it is.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Are you religious? [Why?] Because you're the answer to my prayers.

Can I lick that film off your teeth?

Can you give me directions...to your heart?

Did they just take you out of the oven? [No, why?] Because you're hot!

Do you have a map? [No, why?] Because I just got lost in your eyes.

Don't be so picky... I wasn't!

Falling for you would be a very short trip.

Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I'm asking for only one.

I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Let's go behind that rock, and get a little boulder.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

Remember me? Oh, that's right, I've met you only in my dreams.

Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I'll go choo choo.

What do you like for breakfast?

You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.

You don't need car keys to drive me crazy.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

You sure have a great looking tooth.

I wish I were sine squared and you were cosined squared, because together we could be one.

I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? [No, why?] 'Cause I can see me in your pants.

May I have some kisses up here, please.

If a star fell from the sky every time I thought about you, then tonight the sky would be empty.

My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.

Haven't I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?

If home is where the heart is, then my home is in you.

You must be a magician, because everytime I look at you, everyone else disappears.

You want me. I can smell it.

If you were a drug, I would overdose!

If you gave me a penny for my thoughts I'd have just one penny, because i only think about one thing and that's you.

[Note: for use when someone you know is getting married] Hi, I'm throwing the bachelor/bachelorette party for a friend of mine,

and I need a stripper. Interested?

Is your dad a baker? [No. Why?] Cause you have some nice buns.

I don't speak in tongues, but I kiss that way.

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No.] Then wink.

You know, we were born without clothes.

Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?

Like alcohol to the alcoholic,

Like chocolate to the chocoholic,

You are the [name] to the [name]holic.

(preferabally for use on men/women that have an A or O as the last letter of their first name.)

If I bit my lip would you kiss it better?

Will you read my palm? [i don't see anything.] I didn't expect you to because love is blind.

Did you drop something? [What?] Your conversation, so let's pick it up right here.

Can I have your picture? [Why?] So I can show santa what I want for christmas!

Damn.....your ass is fine! Want to come see mine?

You dropped something. [What?] My jaw.

That's a nice dog/cat/pet. Does it have a phone number?

Do you mind if we share this cab to my house?

Baby, you're sexier than socks on a rooster.

Do you have a band-aid? [Why?] I hurt my knee when I fell for you.

What do you say we play some football? You can have first down!

You're like pizza. Even when you're bad, you're good.

You had better phone the firefighters in advance, cause when you're done with me, we'll be on fire!

Lets make like fabric softener and Snuggle!

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you.

Hi, who's your friend?

Are you an Alien? [No, why?] Because you just abducted my heart.

I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Can I borrow your library card? [Why?] Cause I'm checking you out.

Drop an ice cube and say 'Now that we've broken the ice, my name is...'

Are you bored? [No, why?] Because i really want to nail you.

Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?

Are those astronaunt pants? Cause that ass is out of this world!

Are you sure that you're not a microwave oven? Because, you sure make my heart melt!

Your feet must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

You must be the cause of global warming!

Are you from Tennessee? [No, why?] Because you're the only 10 I see!

What's your sign?

I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?

Got any raisins? [No.] Then how about a date?

Kiss me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Guadalupe?

You know what your remind me of? [what?] Lucky Charms, You want to know why? [why?] Because you're magically delicious!

I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} Oh it says your going to call me soon!

So long as we're in the theatre....why don't we get some play?

If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love onto you.

You must be Jamaican, cause you Jamaican me crazy.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? "Is it really your birthday?" No, but how about a kiss anyway?

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

Darling, if you were cocaine I'd OVERDOSE!

If you were a wedgie, I'd pick you!

Milk does the body good, but damn how much did you drink?

I lost my virginity... can I have yours?

Do you sleep on your stomach? [yes/no] Can I?

Are your parents retarded? 'cuz DANG your special!

Do you have a quarter? [Why?] I told my boyfriend/girlfriend that I would call him/her when I found someone better.

Whenever I see you my heart races. I hope to win first place.

Do you have a bandage? I hurt my knee when I fell in love with you.

You are like a glass of milk... you do the body good.

Fat penguin. [What?] I just wanted to say something to break the ice.

I'm not feeling myself today, can I feel you?

Are you a light switch? Cause I want to turn you on!

Where is your mother? [Why?] Because you're too young to be here without an adult.

You spend so much time in my dreams I should charge rent!

Want to get some air? You took my breath away!

How much does a polar bear weigh? [i don't know, how much?] Just enough to break the ice. Hi my name is ____.


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## MA_PE (Sep 9, 2010)

> I'm not feeling myself today, can I feel you?


nice!


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## DVINNY (Sep 9, 2010)

> If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?



^ Love that one


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