# Major Parenting Failure



## Road Guy (Feb 5, 2010)

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584938,00.html


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## Ble_PE (Feb 5, 2010)

This is just crazy. How old is the dad? I'll tell you one thing, if someone got my 11 year old daughter pregnant, I'd probably be in jail the rest of my life.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 5, 2010)

Wow..just wow.

But they are emulating Britney, Miley and Lindsay, so what can you expect? My wife taught elementary school and you wouldn't believe all the little prostitots. I don't see how they leave the house wearing that stuff.


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## MechGuy (Feb 5, 2010)

^ +1. I'd go all Samuel L. Jackson on the little punk's ass if it were my little girl.


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## Sschell (Feb 5, 2010)

whats really wierd is that by the time she's old enough to drink, she's going to have a kid in 5th grade!


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 5, 2010)

sschell_PE said:


> whats really wierd is that by the time she's old enough to drink, she's going to have a kid in 5th grade!



That's dicked up, no pun intended.


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 5, 2010)

Capt Worley PE said:


> Wow..just wow.
> But they are emulating Britney, Miley and Lindsay, so what can you expect? My wife taught elementary school and you wouldn't believe all the little prostitots. I don't see how they leave the house wearing that stuff.


That's just one of reasons why it'll be a pretty cold day in a really hot place before my kid sets foot in a public school.


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## MA_PE (Feb 5, 2010)

I know a woman who got pregnant when she was 13. It was pretty weird partying with her when we were in our mid 30s and her daughter was legally partying with us.

She said the father was 16 at the time, she made him pay child support and she raised a really nice young lady. She wasn't proud of getting pregnant that early and she was very much against anyone following in her footsteps, but she assumed the responsibilty and (with some help of course but she carried most of the struggle on her own) survived pretty well.

she said it was because no one watched her very closely when she was young. Stuff happens (just not to my kid I hope)


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## csb (Feb 5, 2010)

Just last night I told my four-year-old son, "Don't have sex until your married, okay?" He nodded his head. We were in the midst of watching Teen Mom on MTV when I thought of it. I didn't think the advice would apply to elementary school...


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 5, 2010)

csb said:


> Just last night I told my four-year-old son, "Don't have sex until your married, okay?" He nodded his head. We were in the midst of watching Teen Mom on MTV when I thought of it. I didn't think the advice would apply to elementary school...



I'm not one to cast judgement but why are you watching Teen Mom on MTV with your four year old?


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## csb (Feb 5, 2010)

It was on as background noise. Any other questions?


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 5, 2010)

csb said:


> It was on as background noise. Any other questions?



Yes. Decibel level for the TV speakers? Then go pee in that cup over there and I'll be in touch with you in a couple of weeks.


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## csb (Feb 5, 2010)

Did you just ask for some of my pee?!


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## Master slacker (Feb 5, 2010)

^^^ not to sound sick or anything, but... can I have some, too?


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## maryannette (Feb 5, 2010)

One of the hardest things for parents to do is to have a good discussion about sex with children. I did it, but I didn't enjoy it. They didn't either.  But it is necessary and I hope that all of the parents reading this will do what is right.


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## cement (Feb 5, 2010)

Flyer_PE said:


> Capt Worley PE said:
> 
> 
> > Wow..just wow.
> ...


the parents make the kid, not the school


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 5, 2010)

cement said:


> the parents make the kid, not the school


No argument there. I just would rather have both me and the school pulling on the same end of the rope.


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## Dleg (Feb 5, 2010)

Stories like this make me sick.....

....because I have a 13 year old daughter (7th grade), and she just informed me this morning that she wants to go to her school's Valentine Dinner with a 15 year old boy (8th grade - seems too old to me???).

I told my wife, in private, no f'in way. But I will let her deal with it. We have had almost every-other day sex and drug talks with her, so she ought to know how we feel about it. Plus, it's a religious school and a very small class, and the whole event is chaperoned, but still..... I was a 15 year old boy once, and I can think of only one reason a 15 year old boy would want to go out with a 13 year old girl.

Oh God, I think I'm going to puke.....


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## DVINNY (Feb 5, 2010)

^^^ I'm with ya, I hope these next few years take forever and my daughter stays 8 for alot longer


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## frazil (Feb 5, 2010)

mary :) said:


> One of the hardest things for parents to do is to have a good discussion about sex with children. I did it, but I didn't enjoy it. They didn't either. But it is necessary and I hope that all of the parents reading this will do what is right.


So at what age do you have the sex talk? Is it an ongoing thing since they're little, or a big talk one day? I was thinking 11-12 was the age but now I'm thinking maybe sooner!


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Feb 6, 2010)

SapperPE said:


> Oh dear... I'd like to have a daughter, but I'd like for her to go from newborn to 8 normally, then skip right to 18 with good solid decision making skills and a full ride scholarship to some Ivy League school.


That's basically my wife and her sister in a nutshell. It's scary.


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## MGX (Feb 6, 2010)

My mom had "the talk" with me when I was six. Dad gave his own version when I was 8 or so.

That wasn't all of it, the subject was discussed many times while growing up with my parents.

Mom's talk was very scientific with defined terms and an illustrated anatomy book. Dad's was more colorful; alot more colorful but the two stories matched and we (sister and I) understood quite well how the plumbing works.

My nephew (7) knows the basics because we told him and the 3 year old nephew and niece will have the same.

There's nothing to be ashamed or embarrased about. However it will probably be different when I have kids.


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## Road Guy (Feb 6, 2010)

I've got a soon to be 11 years old but I hadn't planned on the talk until 8th grade, incant see doing it now?

My parents copped out and left a book on my bed one day, I don't plan on doing that.


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## benbo (Feb 6, 2010)

I can't remember when I got the talk as a kid, but I do remember not believing it would fit.

I guess I had delusions of grandeur in those days.


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## MA_PE (Feb 6, 2010)

tough call these days where sex and sexual innuendo is thrown at the kids from many sources - prime-time TV shows, cable networks airing stuff at all hours (I believe the TV-mature ratings actually attract the "immature") video games, and yes the internet, too.

I'm one of the old fashioned guys that feel it not necessarily doing the kids any favors getting explicit to pre-teens. Also I have two boys and my kids didn't really show any interest during the little league days (they were too busy with sports and others stuff to focus on girls) so I didn't think it was necessary for me to start anything focusing on it. They eventually noticed and I had an abbreviated talk but told them if they ever had any questions or issues at all don't hestitate to come to me...and they didn't. Cop out on my part? I don't know but (so far) it seemed to work. God was good to me, because I really don't know if I could handle girls.


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## Dleg (Feb 6, 2010)

Yeah, girls are a little different. I was hoping for another year or two, but our daughter had her first period when she was still just 11. You can't wait at that point. (and Holy Jebus is it ever uncomfortable to even say the "p" word about your own little girl).

Boys can pretty much just walk away from any trouble they cause. Girls (and their parents....) have to live with it, forever. But, you better believe I would do anything in my power to make sure the boy didn't just walk away from it if that were to ever happen. That little bastard _and his parents _would _pay_....


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## maryannette (Feb 6, 2010)

It has to start early in a casual way that is comfortable for everyone. (Well, as comfortable as possible.) I think my girls were 8 or 9 when we started talking about sex, but not specifically. They just knew there was stuff that they were not involved in yet and that there was more information if they wanted it. It is important to answer the questions honestly. Sometimes a very simple answer is enough. In middle school, I think 6th or 7th grade, they had basic sex education in health classes. Parents had to consent and also had to be involved in discussions at home. I bought a picture book of anatomy and used it. I think both parents need to be involved in some way - at least to acknowledge that there is a discussion with the other parent and it's alright to ask questions.

AND ... you dad's of little girls need to get real. Teenage girls do the same things that teenage boys do. Who do you think the teenage boys are getting it from? My best advice is to let them know that sex is a huge responsibility and should be reserved for serious relationships, but in the event they decide to engage in sex, they should take precautions. Yes, precautions. If more teenage girls were on birth control, there would be less teenage moms.

I'm sure that all will not agree with me, but it's an opinion to think about.


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 6, 2010)

Ugggghhhhhhh. I have a 4 year old little boy and a 2 year old little girl who I absolutely adore. I know I come across as a total pervert on this board but I just cannot fathom having to deal with all this stuff one day. I remember my dad giving me the sex talk when I was 8 when we were on the way to a hunting trip. I don't remember much about it. I guess I'll be having the sex talk with my kids in 6 and 8 years.

I do despise the fact that young children are bombarded with such inappropriate material from such a young age. Hannah Montana is wearing totally inappropriate clothing and teaching young girls to do the same. Even dolls aren't safe, I cringe every time I walk through Target and see Bratz dolls.


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## maryannette (Feb 6, 2010)

That's the world we live in. I have to think that 50 years ago, people had the same thoughts about Barbie. Smart parents adjust to the times, the child, the region, and all of the other variables.


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## Supe (Feb 7, 2010)

It's threads like these that make me glad that I have a relatively intimidating appearance. MIAF's daughter is a very cute little girl, and if she grows up to be anything like her mother, I'll be kicking teenage asses until I'm in my grave.


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## Road Guy (Feb 8, 2010)

my 7 year old boy took the program from the last thrashers game we went to and taped the page of (whatever you call the chearleaders in Hockey) up in his room... I think I am in for a rough road with that one...


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 8, 2010)

Road Guy said:


> My parents copped out and left a book on my bed one day.


HAHA...mine did too.

I know it was a long time ago, but back in the eighties, most girls I knew were on the pill and those who had unexpected pregnancies got abortions. That seemed to change radically by the early nineties. I never really understood what caused this cultural shift.


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## Road Guy (Feb 8, 2010)

back in the eighties I had a hard time finding those types of girls to be honest, not for a lack of looking!


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 8, 2010)

Well, the AIDS uncertainties back in the day put a wet blanket on a lot of the escapades.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Feb 8, 2010)

Capt Worley PE said:


> Well, the AIDS uncertainties back in the day put a wet blanket on a lot of the escapades.


By the time I was a wild horny teenager, AIDS was less of a new scare, but they did a good job of scaring you silly with other STDs.

Nothing like the shock and awe pics of herpes ridden genitals in health class to help you keep it in your pants.


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## TouchDown (Feb 8, 2010)

Damn it. I have 2 daughters 8 and 6. They are both in elementary so I know they're hearing crap.

My wife and I have given very vague / brief discussions with both about differences between boys / girls. I have to start having this conversation now?

It's too early for this crap.


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 8, 2010)

I think it's the mom's job to have the conversation with girls and the dad's job to have the conversation with boys.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 8, 2010)

TouchDown said:


> Damn it. I have 2 daughters 8 and 6. They are both in elementary so I know they're hearing crap.


Unfortunately, yeah, they are.

I was amazed to hear my wife telling me what was going on with the girls in elementary school. They really are trying to grow up too fast. And a lot of them don't have very much parental supervision.


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## Dark Knight (Feb 8, 2010)

Chucktown PE said:


> I think it's the mom's job to have the conversation with girls and the dad's job to have the conversation with boys.


We will agree to disagree on this one. It is the same responsability for Mom and Dad.


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## Dexman PE (Feb 8, 2010)

I have purposfully ignored this thread because my daughter turns 3 in March. I don't want to think about having "the talk" with her, and I hope if I don't think about it enough, she will automatically be 25 and I won't have to deal with it.

I never really got "the talk" from my parents, although my dad did try once. It was a very basic, but uncomfortable 30 second exchange:

Driving home from one of my high-school sporting events...

Dad: Son, do you know what your balls are for?

Me: Yeah.

Dad: Ok.

Only other time I talked about sex with my parents before college was during my senior year of high school. At the time I was dating my wife (a long distance relationship which required sleep-overs if we wanted to see each other). When we visited each other, we would sleep in each other's guest bedroom until I asked my parents if the cared if we shared a bed. My mom's response: "You're 18 which means you're an adult, you know what happens if you slip, so be careful." It didn't hurt the fact that my bedroom and my parent's bedroom were both lofts over the living room. I was on the west side, my parents on the north of an "L" shaped house. I could see my mom's pillow from my bed if I sat up. &lt;--- really good sex deterant.

I probably won't be that basic with my kids, and I probably won't wait until HS to have the talk either.


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 8, 2010)

Dexman PE said:


> It didn't hurt the fact that my bedroom and my parent's bedroom were both lofts over the living room. I was on the west side, my parents on the north of an "L" shaped house. I could see my mom's pillow from my bed if I sat up. &lt;--- really good sex deterant.


Good sex deterant for them or for you?


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## Dexman PE (Feb 8, 2010)

It didn't seem to stop me...


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## Sschell (Feb 8, 2010)

uke:


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 8, 2010)

^^ x2


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## Sschell (Feb 8, 2010)

sschell_PE said:


> whats really wierd is that by the time she's old enough to drink, she's going to have a kid in 5th grade!


not to mention that the kid will almost be as old as she was when she got knocked up!


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## Dexman PE (Feb 8, 2010)

^^^ She could be a grandma before age 25.


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## cement (Feb 8, 2010)

omg the kids don't sleep with thier dates under the parents roof!

at least not when we are home. uke: uke:


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## z06dustin (Feb 8, 2010)

Sorry for the tread *jack* but did you see this? Chick gets pregnant by getting stabbed with a knife.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/teen...tory?id=9732562

I've apparently been doing it all wrong.


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## csb (Feb 9, 2010)

My mom gave me one of many sex talks beginning in third grade. Sex sounded so gross that I didn't understand why ANYONE would want to do it. Later on, in high school, when many girls were getting pregnant she asked me this series of questions:

Mom: Can you get pregnant the first time?

Me: Yes

Mom: Can you get pregnant if he pulls out?

Me: Yes

Mom: Can you get pregnant and still live in this house?

Me: No?

Mom: Good answer.

She also said to my boyfriend as we were headed out on a date, "Hey, keep your penis out of my daughter."

I never had sex in high school.


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## Road Guy (Feb 9, 2010)

I will have to remember that one.

Mary, please hang around here for at least 4 more years, I may need some help / advice.

My 8 year old daughter has already asked my wife what those boxes are for next to the toilet in mom and dads bathroom( you know the box that shows up for a few days once a month). My wife described a little bit to her and my daughter's face turned white and she said I won't have to do that until I am really old am I?

.....


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## MonteBiker (Feb 9, 2010)

Chucktown PE said:


> I think it's the mom's job to have the conversation with girls and the dad's job to have the conversation with boys.


Then what is public school? I thought that is why I paid all of those tax dollars. That way I could pay some one else to do this kind of stuff...


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## cement (Feb 9, 2010)

that's the route I took.


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## TouchDown (Feb 9, 2010)

csb said:


> She also said to my boyfriend as we were headed out on a date, "Hey, keep your penis out of my daughter."
> I never had sex in high school.


I am so using that.

Reminds me of the other day when the 6 YO was in my 18MO son's room and he had torn off his diaper. She said VERY LOUDLY:

"Dude, I don't want to see your penis!"

I SO wish I had that on video. I could play that back with every date that she ever had in our house.

Although, I'm sure it'd just be an embarassment at the time and probably make her do it just to "get back at her old man".

Why oh why did I ever decide to grow up?


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## Ble_PE (Feb 10, 2010)

Mini Ble is only 6 months old, so at least I have a little time to prepare for this discussion, but I don't know what I'll do if we have a little girl next. I can totally see myself as the big, intimidating dad that will question the hell out of my daughter's dates. I can remember very well what it was like to be a teenager, and I think it would drive me crazy as a dad to think of my daughter going out with one of those guys! 

I figure I'll be able to handle a talk with my son, but I'm sure I'll have to have Mrs. Ble's help if we have a daughter. Mrs. Ble said her mom always told her "Man, woman, bed, baby" so she got the picture from a young age without too many graphic details.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Feb 10, 2010)

csb said:


> My mom gave me one of many sex talks beginning in third grade. Sex sounded so gross that I didn't understand why ANYONE would want to do it. Later on, in high school, when many girls were getting pregnant she asked me this series of questions:


You had girls that got pregnant in your HS? As in plural?

We had some girl who got knocked up in a bathtub after the senior prom in the class ahead of us, and it was the most scandalous thing that rocked the school district in years.

Then I moved to VT and it was commonplace. It was pretty freaky.


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## Dexman PE (Feb 10, 2010)

My ex-girlfriend from my Junior year of high school was pregnant before graduation (daddy was the ass-clown she was cheating on me with).

My wife's HS best friend was 5 months pregnant at her graduation too. It was literally the first time she had ever had sex. Ironically, she got pregnant on her 2nd attempt too a couple years later.

BTW, my wife and I didn't go to the same high school, but we did graduate the same year.


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## Ble_PE (Feb 10, 2010)

VTEnviro said:


> csb said:
> 
> 
> > My mom gave me one of many sex talks beginning in third grade. Sex sounded so gross that I didn't understand why ANYONE would want to do it. Later on, in high school, when many girls were getting pregnant she asked me this series of questions:
> ...


I remember several pregnancies when I was in high school. There was also a girl that had a baby in 8th grade.


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 10, 2010)

There were quite a few pregnancies in my high school as well. The one that was the weirdest to me was this girl that I always thought was a Mormon. She wore the long skirts/dresses every day and I didn't even think she knew what sex was. Anyway, I remember seeing her walk across the stage 7 months pregnant at graduation and being totally flabergasted. I think there were somewhere between 15 and 20 pregnancies in my graduating class of about 400.


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## Dexman PE (Feb 10, 2010)

Should also add that the two pregnancies I said above were the only 2 in both mine and my wife's graduating classes. Granted, I graduated with 53 others and my wife graduated with 16 (yes, sixteen)


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 10, 2010)

VTEnviro said:


> csb said:
> 
> 
> > My mom gave me one of many sex talks beginning in third grade. Sex sounded so gross that I didn't understand why ANYONE would want to do it. Later on, in high school, when many girls were getting pregnant she asked me this series of questions:
> ...


Yeah, there were a few, but they all went to the doctor to 'take care of it.' Some went a few times.

I'd think birth control would have been cheaper and more comfortable for them.

And I went to private school...


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## snickerd3 (Feb 10, 2010)

there were many pregnancies while I was in HS. There was one girl who was on #2 by the time she graduated...at least I think she graduated.

More than half our lamaze class was high school students, here in our small town.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Feb 10, 2010)

Welcome to childhood in an upper middle class NY suburb. When I graduated high school, we had something like a 94% rate of kids that went on to college of some sort. Not because half of those shlubs had anyplace being there, it's that just not going to college was an unacceptable option that looked bad on the parents. It was such an image conscious place. I don't miss it.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 10, 2010)

VTEnviro said:


> When I graduated high school, we had something like a 94% rate of kids that went on to college of some sort.


Our rate was probably 98-99% college attendance. Didn't really make a difference, and honestly, i would have expected a bit more caution, but that's the way it was in the early eighties, I guess.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 10, 2010)

Our school district actually has a couple of TAPP schools (TeenAge Pregnancy Program). I think the rule is that once they begin to show, they are shipped off to the TAPP school to keep up to date in class without disrupting it. Then a few weeks/months after the kid is born, they go back to their regular school.


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## csb (Feb 10, 2010)

VTEnviro said:


> You had girls that got pregnant in your HS? As in plural?


Yep...at least three in my class my junior year of high school.



Ble_PE said:


> I remember several pregnancies when I was in high school. There was also a girl that had a baby in 8th grade.


The class right behind mine had two girls who had kids in 8th grade.



Chucktown PE said:


> There were quite a few pregnancies in my high school as well. The one that was the weirdest to me was this girl that I always thought was a Mormon. She wore the long skirts/dresses every day and I didn't even think she knew what sex was. Anyway, I remember seeing her walk across the stage 7 months pregnant at graduation and being totally flabergasted. I think there were somewhere between 15 and 20 pregnancies in my graduating class of about 400.


We also had a Mormon girl who was pregnant in high school, BUT she got married first and then got pregnant. It was totally planned.



snickerd3 said:


> there were many pregnancies while I was in HS. There was one girl who was on #2 by the time she graduated...at least I think she graduated.
> More than half our lamaze class was high school students, here in our small town.


One of the girls who had a baby in 8th grade was on her THIRD by her junior year.


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## Dexman PE (Feb 10, 2010)

csb said:


> snickerd3 said:
> 
> 
> > there were many pregnancies while I was in HS. There was one girl who was on #2 by the time she graduated...at least I think she graduated.
> ...


Curious to find out how many she ended up with.


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 10, 2010)

^^ I think I would have chained her legs shut if it were my daughter.


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## csb (Feb 10, 2010)

Dexman PE said:


> Curious to find out how many she ended up with.


I saw her last year at a community event and she had more children with her that I could assume were hers. I was trying to do the math in my head about how old her kids would be from high school and determined that the kids with her that day were younger. So, my educated guess is 6.


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## Dexman PE (Feb 10, 2010)

I've seen several times where the kid gets pregnant in HS, gives the baby to her parents and they raise it as their own. Basically it allows the mom to go off to college and growup like a "normal" child.

Not sure if I like this concept or not, I just hope I don't have to make this decision. Ever.


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## csb (Feb 10, 2010)

Me either. Would I rather start over as a "new" parent again at that age, or live with knowing my first grandchild has been adopted to another family? Dunno. Don't think I'd settle into letting my son off that easily.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 10, 2010)

Dexman PE said:


> I've seen several times where the kid gets pregnant in HS, gives the baby to her parents and they raise it as their own. Basically it allows the mom to go off to college and growup like a "normal" child.


I knew someone who did this. I always wondered when/if they ever told the kid that their older sister was in fact their mother. You KNOW its gonna come out eventually.


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## Sschell (Feb 10, 2010)

a little from coulmn "A"....


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## maryannette (Feb 10, 2010)

DADS: If you have daughters, remember what you and your girlfriends did when you were a teenager. Teenagers still do that. Better to be prepared than to have regrets.


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## cement (Feb 11, 2010)

my daughter will have stalkers?


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## Dleg (Feb 11, 2010)

LOL^^

If my daughter gets all the action I did as a teenager, I have nothing to worry about.

Now, if she gets all the action I _wanted_ to get as a teenager, that's another story.


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## Ble_PE (Feb 11, 2010)

^Sadly, it's always easier for girls to get action (or at least it was at my high school). That's why you have to be so careful with them.


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 11, 2010)

As a friend of mine with three sons explained to one of my friends with three daughters: "I have to worry about 3 penises, you have to worry about all the penises."


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## Dexman PE (Feb 11, 2010)

^^^ Similar to the saying about terrorists: They only have to be lucky once, you have to be lucky everytime.


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## Dark Knight (Feb 11, 2010)

Dleg said:


> LOL^^
> If my daughter gets all the action I did as a teenager, I have nothing to worry about.
> 
> Now, if she gets all the action I _wanted_ to get as a teenager, that's another story.


Echo...echo...echo


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