# Obama Jokes



## Road Guy (Aug 5, 2008)

_The Irish are such clear thinkers!_

Thoughts from across the pond

An email from Ireland to the brethren in the States...a point to ponder

despite your political affiliation:

"We, in Ireland, can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold

an election in the United States. On one side, you have a pants

wearing lawyer, married to a lawyer who can't keep his pants on, who

just lost a long and heated primary against a lawyer who goes to the

wrong church, who is married to yet another lawyer who doesn't even

like the country her husband wants to run.

Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war hero whose name starts

with the appropriate "Mc" terminology, married to a good looking

younger woman who owns a beer distributorship. What in Lords name are

ye lads thinking over there in the colonies?!"


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## DVINNY (Aug 5, 2008)

easy enough in my opinion.


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## DVINNY (Aug 5, 2008)

After much introspection I have decided to change my position and vote Democrat. I have done a lot of research and, quite frankly, I can't see any other way around it. Here are just a few reasons:

I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don't want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.

I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I hope you will join me.


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## jfusilloPE (Aug 6, 2008)

^^^ You just swayed my vote towards Obama

:Locolaugh:


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## Wolverine (Aug 6, 2008)

^ ^ ^ :appl: :appl: :appl:


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## G-Loose (Aug 6, 2008)

I saw a T-shirt that read...

"Did I just see Obama being chased by Osama on a Llama"


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## Wolverine (Aug 6, 2008)

My son asked me what's the difference between a Republican and a Democrat?

Well son, I says:

A Republican is someone who, when he has a consensual heterosexual relationship with an underage intern, is run out of town by his peers, never to be heard from again (Dan Crane).

A Democrat is someone who, when he has a consensual homosexual relationship with an underage intern, is applauded by his peers, receives a standing ovation from his constituents at home, is re-elected 6 more times to Congress, is appointed chair of the House Committee on Merchant Marine and Fisheries, and gets a National Marine Sanctuary named after him (Gerry Studds). :f_115m_e45d7af: _Oh, he's so brave for coming out._

(Disclaimer: :f_115m_e45d7af: Not that there's anything wrong with that)


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## cement (Aug 7, 2008)

candidate Obama offered high sounding platitudes of hope and change that some considered:

hot air.

nominee Obama, when pressed for a plan to address $4 gasoline, came up with:

compressed air.

if elected president Obama, what can we expect in our homes this winter?

cold air.


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## dagget (Aug 7, 2008)

"Barack Obama gave a speech in Germany and 200,000 people showed up. There were so many Germans shouting and screaming that France surrendered just in case." --Craig Ferguson

(Ok, that's really a France joke, not an Obama joke)

"Today in Berlin, Barack Obama spoke to a crowd of over 200,000 people. In fact, he was so eager to please the Germans, he promised he'd name David Hasselhoff as vice president." --Jay Leno

"After a quick meet-and-greet with King Abdullah, Obama was off to Israel, where he made a quick stop at the manger in Bethlehem where he was born." --Jon Stewart, on Barack Obama's Middle East trip

"Obama's camp initially agreed that the cartoon was, quote, tasteless and offensive. Really? You know what your response should have been? It's very easy. Here, let me put the statement out for you. Barack Obama is in no way upset about the cartoon that depicts him as a Muslim extremist, because you know who gets upset about cartoons? Muslim extremists. Of which Barack Obama is not. It's just a f**king cartoon." --Jon Stewart, on the New Yorker Cartoon controversy

"Barack Obama's two daughters are very excited, because I guess Barack Obama promised the kids that after the election he's going to get them a dog. That's the thing, they're all excited, he's going to get them a dog after the election. And the good news -- Jesse Jackson has offered to neuter it, so I think that's terrific." --Jay Leno

"Well, the Democrats are now preparing for their convention in Denver, and they have hired the first ever director of greening. They say that this year that everything about their convention will be green, including nominating a candidate who's only been a senator for a couple of years." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama is campaigning very hard, going everywhere these days to get the vote out. Barack Obama's staff recently announced that Barack is planning to hold a campaign event at a NASCAR race. Yeah. The event will be called 'Meet your first black guy.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton campaigned for the first time together in Unity, New Hampshire, today. Isn't that cute? Unity, New Hampshire. For real. Their tour goes from Unity to Tolerate, Rhode Island; and Getting on My Nerves, Virginia; and then Crazy Makeup Sex, California." --Jimmy Kimmel

"You know. People really like Barack Obama because he's an inspirational speaker. But he was not the first one -- I was checking my presidential history -- he was not the first candidate to use the phrase 'Yes we can!' Bill Clinton frequently used that on interns." --David Letterman

"Both McCain and Senator Barack Obama are trying to woo voters who are outside their natural demographic. In this election, for Senator Obama, that means trying to reach working class, non-Muslim white women who love America." --Jon Stewart


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## StructuralPoke (Aug 11, 2008)

Note the subtle change of lyrics -- from "never gonna" to "and we're gonna"


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## DVINNY (Aug 11, 2008)

From Richmond Times-Dispatch, Monday, July 7, 2008 ~

Dear Editor, Times-Dispatch:

'Each year I get to celebrate Independence Day twice. On June 30 I celebrate my independence day, and on July 4 I celebrate America's. This year is special, because it marks the 40th anniversary of my independence.

'On June 30, 1968, I escaped Communist Cuba, and a few months later, I was in the United States to stay. That I happened to arrive in Richmond on Thanksgiving Day is just part of the story, but I digress.

'I've thought a lot about the anniversary this year. The election-year rhetoric has made me think a lot about Cuba and what transpired there. In the late 1950s, most Cubans thought Cuba needed a change, and they were right. So when a young leader came along, every Cuban was at least receptive.

'When the young leader spoke eloquently and passionately and denounced the old system, the press fell in love with him. They never questioned who his friends were or what he really believed in. When he said he would help the farmers and the poor and bring free medical care and education to all, everyone followed. When he said he would bring justice and equality to all, everyone said, 'Praise the Lord.' And when the young leader said, 'I will be for change and I'll bring you change,' everyone yelled, 'Viva Fidel!'

'But nobody asked about the change, so by the time the executioner's guns went silent, the people's guns had been taken away. By the time everyone was equal, they were equally poor, hungry, and oppressed. By the time everyone received their free education, it was worth nothing. By the time the press noticed, it was too late, because they were now working for him. By the time the change was finally implemented, Cuba had been knocked down a couple of notches to Third-World status. By the time the change was over, more than a million people had taken to boats, rafts, and inner tubes. You can call those who made it ashore anywhere else in the world the most fortunate Cubans. And now I'm back to the beginning of my story.

'Luckily, we would never fall in America for a young leader who promised change without asking, what change? How will you carry it out? What will it cost America?

'Would we?'

Manuel Alvarez, Jr.


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## civengPE (Aug 15, 2008)




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## DVINNY (Aug 15, 2008)

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.

3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

4. Empty the Recycle Bin.

5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack

Obama?'

6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'

7. Feel better?

GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi!


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## DVINNY (Aug 15, 2008)

civengPE said:


>


OWWWW!!!

I've been rolled!


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## Road Guy (Aug 26, 2008)

National Convention

Schedule of Events

7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING

7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson &amp; Al Sharpton

7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah

7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore

8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell

8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry

9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn

11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean

12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am NOMINATION OF Barack Hussein Obama- Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Obama

1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Hillary Clinton

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home


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## StructuralPoke (Aug 27, 2008)

from here http://politicalinquirer.com/2008/08/27/an...ssical-setting/


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## DVINNY (Aug 28, 2008)

A teacher in Penn Yan New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what a Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little RONNIE.

The teacher asked Little RONNIE why he has decided to be different...Again.

Little RONNIE says, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.'

The teacher says, 'Why aren't you an Obama fan?'

RONNIE says, 'Because I'm a Republican.'

The teacher asks why he's a Republican.

Little RONNIE answered, 'Well, my mom's a Republican and my dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican'

The teacher asks, 'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

With a big smile, Little RONNIE replies,

'That would make me an Obama fan '


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Aug 29, 2008)

Damn, I gotta round up the other liberals on this board and revive the McCain joke thread.


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## Dark Knight (Aug 29, 2008)

VTEnviro said:


> Damn, I gotta round up the other liberals on this board and revive the McCain joke thread.


I think you should or RG will have to change the name to McCain'sBoard.com

Maybe EB is a sample of how the country thinks. I have no clue.


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## Capt Worley PE (Aug 29, 2008)

I think engineers are generally more conservative than liberal.


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## chaosiscash (Aug 29, 2008)

Capt Worley PE said:


> I think engineers are generally more conservative than liberal.


I agree, at least from the economic conservative standpoint.


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## sehad (Aug 29, 2008)

I don't think it's that we're more conservative, it's just that we look at things and go "Now how is this going to screw everything up?".

You hear a lot more about Obama in the news that McCain these days so it's natrual that we will pick him apart more


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## C-Dog (Aug 29, 2008)

Here are some delawhere? jokes from David Letterman:



> Another installment of 'Get to Know Delaware.' (Voiceover: "In 1894, the Battle of Newcastle ended after General Thaddeus Rutledge signed the
> 
> Treaty of Edgemoor in Delaware. I just made that up, because I don't
> 
> know the first thing about Delaware. This has been *Get to Know Delaware





> "Historic tourist attractions, such as Independence Hall and the Franklin Institute, and breathtaking natural attractions, such as the Allegheny National Forest . . . . can be found in Pennsylvania, which is right next to Delaware. This has been 'Get To Know Delaware.'


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## cement (Aug 29, 2008)

it's flat, and it's in the way when you are going to Ocean City.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Aug 29, 2008)

What's this Delaware thing you are talking about?


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## DVINNY (Aug 29, 2008)

Dark Knight said:


> Maybe EB is a sample of how the country thinks. I have no clue.


http://news.aol.com/political-machine/straw-poll

^^ Go there to get an idea of how the rest of the country really thinks. (Not what the media feeds us)


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## jmbeck (Aug 29, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> http://news.aol.com/political-machine/straw-poll
> ^^ Go there to get an idea of how the rest of the country really thinks. (Not what the media feeds us)


Ummmm....

So you really think McCain will get ALL the electoral votes?


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## DVINNY (Aug 29, 2008)

^^^ Probably not, but its AOL, it's not some joke that I manipulated. So don't ask me, ask the 300,000 that have voted on it.


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## Dark Knight (Aug 29, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> ^^^ Probably not, but its AOL, it's not some joke that I manipulated. So don't ask me, ask the 300,000 that have voted on it.


Are you Republican DV? I cannot tell by your posts.


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## DVINNY (Aug 29, 2008)

^^ Just a TAD. LOL.


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## Dark Knight (Aug 29, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> ^^ Just a TAD. LOL.


I am glad you are not mad at me. You knew I was kidding...right?


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## cement (Aug 30, 2008)

we all have opinions. that's what makes this country great brotha!


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## DVINNY (Aug 30, 2008)

That's right ^^

And seriously DK, I've said it before, I can't be offended with this stuff, I don't take it THAT serious.

I just sometimes forget that others do, so _I'll apologize in advance for those that I accidentally offend._ (&lt;- disclaimer)


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## Enginnneeer (Aug 30, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> That's right ^^
> And seriously DK, I've said it before, I can't be offended with this stuff, I don't take it THAT serious.
> 
> I just sometimes forget that others do, so _I'll apologize in advance for those that I accidentally offend._ (&lt;- disclaimer)


and the thread heading is ------ 'just for fun ~ thick skin required'


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## Dark Knight (Aug 30, 2008)

Well,you guys and gals want to have some fun? Great...

Explain to me what are the fundamental ideology difference between Reps and Dems. I have heard a lot about lliberals and not so liberals, semi-socialists and americans 100%, the elephant and the donkey??????, etc.

But how are they different?


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## DVINNY (Aug 30, 2008)

^^ Question of the day right there DK. Anymore they aren't very different.

I will list the main reasons why I became a Republican.

1. I believe strongly in Pro-life. I have many reasons for doing so, as I'm sure there are those with life experiences that have them believe Pro-choice. (I don't want to debate it, I'm just stating)

2. I am very much in favor of small government. I firmly believe that our country and economy is better off when we have our own money in our pockets to spend. I don't think that some beaurocrat knows how to spend it better than I do. ($900 toilets seats is perfect example.)

3. I am a conservative plain and simple. I believe in family values, and that those family values have been under attack for a long time.

4. I am a christian, and even though both parties are extemely hippocritical, the Republican party still represents those values the closest.

However, the republican party platform has things in it that I don't really agree with, but its closest to my views.

1


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## DVINNY (Aug 30, 2008)

^^ Question of the day right there DK. Anymore they aren't very different.

I will list the main reasons why I became a Republican.

1. I believe strongly in Pro-life. I have many reasons for doing so, as I'm sure there are those with life experiences that have them believe Pro-choice. (I don't want to debate it, I'm just stating)

2. I am very much in favor of small government. I firmly believe that our country and economy is better off when we have our own money in our pockets to spend. I don't think that some beaurocrat knows how to spend it better than I do. ($900 toilets seats is perfect example.)

3. I am a conservative plain and simple. I believe in family values, and that those family values have been under attack for a long time.

4. I am a christian, and even though both parties are extemely hippocritical, the Republican party still represents those values the closest.

However, the republican party platform has things in it that I don't really agree with;

1. I hate smoking, cigarettes, etc. Republicans fight for big tobacco, I don't.

2. I'm tired of big oil. I want other sources of energy NOW.

3. They love tax cuts for the top 1%, and I see the theory behind that, but I want to see THE FAIR TAX implemented. It would really help even things out for the working families. check it out at http://www.fairtax.org/site/PageServer


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## Dark Knight (Aug 31, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> ^^ Question of the day right there DK. Anymore they aren't very different.
> I will list the main reasons why I became a Republican.
> 
> 1. I believe strongly in Pro-life. I have many reasons for doing so, as I'm sure there are those with life experiences that have them believe Pro-choice. (I don't want to debate it, I'm just stating)
> ...


Thanks DV. I do really appreciate you taking your time and explaining this to me. I was not into politics in Puerto Rico, I hated it, and have not made an effort to really understand politics in USA .

But that is going to change now and want to teach my kids, one of the is already old enough to vote, that they have to be aware of the political area since they are part of this country and are accountable for that.

But I want to be smart. I am not Rep, not Dem. I plan to vote for the best candidates or at least the ones with, in my limited understanding, have the best plataform.

I know this thread meant to be funny, as well as the McCain thread, so if you think is best to create a new thread for this topic.... :bio: I think is a good idea.


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## DVINNY (Aug 31, 2008)

Dark Knight said:


> I am not Rep, not Dem. I plan to vote for the best candidates or at least the ones with, in my limited understanding, have the best plataform.


Good idea.



Dark Knight said:


> this thread meant to be funny,


Also agree, from now on Jokes only.


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## Enginnneeer (Sep 1, 2008)

Dark Knight said:


> I know this thread meant to be funny,


Sure new thread DK

One more serious note, encourage your kid to register to vote if not already.... there is a time window that closes before the election date... and if he is away at school he can vote early when home or have an absentee ballot sent before the deadline to his school address. No one will know who he votes for in the booth or by absentee, so no peer pressure there.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Sep 1, 2008)

> One more serious note, encourage your kid to register to vote if not already


Why am I getting this image in my head of the South Park episode where they vote for kindergarten class president?


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## DVINNY (Sep 2, 2008)

3 Kids Fishing

Barak Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water.

He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disneyland '

Barak said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on my special Senator's airplane.'

The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's shoes.'

Barak said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them!'

The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!'

Barak was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're disabled.

The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!'


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## DVINNY (Sep 3, 2008)

The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect wildlife in the US.







Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party... as they have apparently learned to simply sit and wait for the government to provide for their care and sustenance.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Sep 4, 2008)

I was in the Canadian Rockies a few years back and saw a very similar sight. We had walked passed a recently and sloppily vacated picnic table on a short trail to a lake. We saw the lake and started back, and saw a small black bear picking over the scraps at the table maybe 30' away. That was enough to get the adrenaline running and nearly require a trip to the suitcase for a new set of undies.

Then I was in Yellowstone last year and there was a crowd gathered watching a grizzly that was up in a tree. My wife decided to wander over right to the bottom of the tree where the bear is and stare up at it. This was the day before we got married mind you and I was really hoping she'd have all her limbs for the photos. Everyone else in our group followed suit. My sister in law and I were the only ones to hang back. I can see why they let her into Harvard.

Anyway, back on point...I generally vote Democratic but that won't stop me from posting a few snippets.

"I'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he wanted to cut Barack Obama's testicles off. And Jesse has been on several news programs the last couple of days, explaining what he meant by those comments. Do you need to explain that?" --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama's two daughters are very excited, because I guess Barack Obama promised the kids that after the election he's going to get them a dog. That's the thing, they're all excited, he's going to get them a dog after the election. And the good news -- Jesse Jackson has offered to neuter it, so I think that's terrific." --Jay Leno

"The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National Transportation Safety Board did an inspection on the plane, and you know what they found? The bolts on the plane were fine, but apparently Jesse Jackson had taken some of the nuts off." --Jay Leno


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## DVINNY (Sep 4, 2008)

Sadly this is no joke, but a real quote from O'Bama



> My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it. -- Barack Obama


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## Capt Worley PE (Sep 4, 2008)

If you add McCain's age to Obama's age, you get how many times Obama says 'uh' when answering a question.

Seriously, the dude can't speak off the cuff. He makes Bush look like a master orator.


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## DVINNY (Sep 4, 2008)

He can't REALLY answer questions off the cuff, but he is great at the spin.

For example:

when asked about whether or not he would favor the Fair Tax, Obama said "I think that it needs to be studied more"

He tries to make it sound like the Fair Tax plan needs more work, when the fact is, he doesn't know a damn thing about it.

he's good at that at least.


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## DVINNY (Sep 5, 2008)

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He lowered his altitude and spotted a woman fishing from a boat below.

He shouted to her, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'

The woman consulted her portable GPS and replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

The balloonist rolled his eyes and said, 'You must be a Republican!'

'I am,' replied the woman. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost.

Frankly, you're not much help to me.'

The woman smiled and responded, 'You must be a Democrat.'

'I am,' replied the balloonist. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' said the woman, 'You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.'


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## sehad (Sep 5, 2008)

^ :Locolaugh: :Locolaugh:


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## DVINNY (Sep 5, 2008)

Q. What is a conservative?

A. A liberal who finally grew up.


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## benbo (Sep 5, 2008)

What about Terry Moran from ABC. He said something to the effect -

"Sen. Obama is "the son of a black man from Kenya, and a white man from Kansas."

To again quote Mr. Moran, this "is a moment for the history books."

I'll say it is.

You can't make this stuff up.


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## DVINNY (Sep 10, 2008)

*Does any of this inspire you guys?*

"Democrat Barack Obama says he would delay rescinding President Bush's tax cuts on wealthy Americans if he becomes the next president and the economy is in a recession, suggesting such an increase would further hurt the economy." *—Associated Press **"So he's saying he wants to wait for any recession to pass, and then he'll hurt the economy?" —James Taranto *

"If you've got a gun in your house, I'm not taking it. Even if I want to take them away, I don't have the votes in Congress." *—Barack Obama, who thinks the only thing between him and your guns is a few votes *

Left-theology: "Let's not play games... You're absolutely right that John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith... uh, my Christian faith. Well, what I'm saying is that he hasn't suggested that I'm a Muslim... What I think is fair to say is that, coming out of the Republican camp, there have been efforts to suggest that perhaps I'm not who I say I am when it comes to my faith—something which I find deeply offensive, and that has been going on for a pretty long time." *—Barack Obama demonstrating that he's as confused about his religious faith as everybody else is*

On global warming: "Global warming is a serious problem. Uh, i-it's not just some tree hugger, you know, uhhh, sprout eatin' liberal thing. You know, the polar ice caps are melting. Temperatures are getting warmer in the oceans, and it could wreck [sic] havoc on our agriculture. It could increase insect-borne diseases." *—Barack uh, Obama*

On Iraq: "I think that the surge has succeeded in ways that nobody anticipated..._t succeeded beyond our wildest dreams." _*—commander in chief wannabe Barack Obama conceding he did not, in his "wildest dreams" expect to win in Iraq *

_
_

_
On taxes: "If I am sitting pretty, and you've got a waitress who is making minimum wage plus tips, and I can afford it and she can't—what's the big deal for me to say, 'I'm going to pay a little bit more.' That is neighborliness." _*—Barack Obama **Because taxes are JUST LIKE tipping the poor.*

_
_

_
_


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## Flyer_PE (Sep 10, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> On taxes: "If I am sitting pretty, and you've got a waitress who is making minimum wage plus tips, and I can afford it and she can't—what's the big deal for me to say, 'I'm going to pay a little bit more.' That is neighborliness." *—Barack Obama **Because taxes are JUST LIKE tipping the poor.*


If I see somebody that needs help, say an elderly neighbor that needs a lawn mowed or a ride to the doctor, and I provide that ride or mow that lawn, that's neighborly.

However, if I see that same neighbor in need of help and then proceed to go down the street with a gun and force somebody else to pay for the ride or the lawn care, that's socialism.


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## DVINNY (Sep 10, 2008)

Well said.


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## wilheldp_PE (Sep 10, 2008)

Flyer_PE said:


> However, if I see that same neighbor in need of help and then proceed to go down the street with a gun and force somebody else to pay for the ride or the lawn care, that's socialism.


How is this different than Bush holding a gun to my head and forcing me to pay tax dollars for education, transportation, and any number of other bureaucratic functions that could be more easily and cheaply handled by the private sector? We live under a socialist quasi-democracy as it is, but people only get worked up if somebody from the "opposite party" suggests that we descend further into socialism.


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## DVINNY (Sep 10, 2008)

As a republican, I can say that Bush spent WAY TOO MUCH money for my tastes.

Does that help?


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## Flyer_PE (Sep 10, 2008)

^^^There's no difference whatsoever. The nanny-state grows larger every year regardless of which party is in charge. The only thing that changes is the rate of expansion.

Will Rogers- not an exact quote: No man is safe at any time when congress is in session.


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## Capt Worley PE (Sep 10, 2008)

Flyer_PE said:


> ^^^There's no difference whatsoever. The nanny-state grows larger every year regardless of which party is in charge. The only thing that changes is the rate of expansion.


That's the dang truth.


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## wilheldp_PE (Sep 10, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> As a republican, I can say that Bush spent WAY TOO MUCH money for my tastes.
> 
> Does that help?


It's a start, but identifying that there is a problem is only the beginning. The next step is doing something about it. Choosing between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich every year is only perpetuating the problem.


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## Road Guy (Sep 10, 2008)

_If elections changed anything they would make them illegal_


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Sep 12, 2008)

> Choosing between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich every year is only perpetuating the problem.


I loved that episode. I voted Turd Sandwich I might add.


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## DVINNY (Sep 12, 2008)

I bought a new GMC Sierra and returned to the dealer yesterday because

I couldn't get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Nelson," the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, "Ricky or

Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind"

replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say,

"Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said,

"Beatles," I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some Mexicans ran a red light and nearly creamed my new

truck, but I swerved in time to avoid them.

I yelled, "Ass Holes!"

Immediately the Iranian National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane

Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie

Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on

harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton

on sax and Ted Kennedy On Scotch.

Damn, I LOVE this truck!


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## DVINNY (Sep 16, 2008)

Once upon a time, on a farm in Virginia, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.

She called all of her neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'

'Not I,' said the cow.

'Not I,' said the duck.

'Not I,' said the pig.

'Not I,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.

'Not I,' said the duck..

'Out of my classification,' said the pig.

'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread.

'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.

'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.

'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said the pig.

'If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'

'Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.'

'But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen.

'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.'

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, 'I am grateful, for now I truly understand.'

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared... so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

EPILOGUE

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.

Hillary got $8 million for hers.

That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?


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## Enginnneeer (Sep 17, 2008)

^^^ 'Not I' said the cat... I grew up learning to read The Little Red Hen.


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## C-Dog (Sep 17, 2008)

wilheldp_PE said:


> How is this different than Bush holding a gun to my head and forcing me to pay tax dollars for education, transportation, and any number of other bureaucratic functions that could be more easily and cheaply handled by the private sector? We live under a socialist quasi-democracy as it is, but people only get worked up if somebody from the "opposite party" suggests that we descend further into socialism.


What strikes me of socialism is the [Republican led] government bailing out companies for bad business decisions. They always preach free markets and enterprise until the @#$% hits the fan, they there they are with a $100 billion to help out their chronies.

Also, the two presidents to grow record deficits have been republicans. I think they have lost the debate that they are fiscally minded.


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## EM_PS (Sep 17, 2008)

^ War / conflicts do that


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## FLBuff PE (Sep 17, 2008)

Funny...I thought we got out of the Great Depression during a war...


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## Capt Worley PE (Sep 17, 2008)

We did, with large deficits.


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## FLBuff PE (Sep 17, 2008)

Capt Worley PE said:


> We did, with large deficits.


You are correct, sir. I retract my statement. EM, I apologize for my snide remark.


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## Chucktown PE (Sep 17, 2008)

C-Dog said:


> What strikes me of socialism is the [Republican led] government bailing out companies for bad business decisions. They always preach free markets and enterprise until the @#$% hits the fan, they there they are with a $100 billion to help out their chronies.
> Also, the two presidents to grow record deficits have been republicans. I think they have lost the debate that they are fiscally minded.


Perhaps you need a history lesson. This whole mess started with Bill Clinton and his cronies. See the attached article. And let us not forget that a democrat controlled congress created Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Sallie Mae, Indy Mac, etc. The US taxpayer is on the hook for 3 to 4 trillion (with a T) dollars because of this malfeasance.

That being said, I believe all of the financial firms that made these risky loans, bought the credit derivatives precipitated by the risky loans, or insured the risky loans, should be allowed to fail. Make no mistake about it; this would result in a depression. However, I would hope that this depression would make people wake up to the fact that it is our government meddling in the free market, not the free market that is causing the pain. Once the federal government’s meddling has forced these firms to close, they’ll have no one else to extort and manipulate, hopefully leading to a classical liberal intellectual revolution.


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## Wolverine (Sep 27, 2008)

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama ." The Marine replied, "Sir, Mr. Obama is not President and doesn't reside here." The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama".

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is not President and doesn't reside here." The man thanked him and again walked away..

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I've told you already several times that Mr. Obama is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don 't you understand?"

The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!"

The marine saluted and said, "Sir, Yes Sir. See you again tomorrow."


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## frazil (Sep 28, 2008)

I guess this could be under Obama or McCain jokes...

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Did he cross it with a hare? Did he cross it with a bear? Did he check if the road was hot? I kinda doubt it, I think not! Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told. Just one more thing I have to say, it's been bugging me to this very day. If the Chicken is a she, why do we keep saying HE?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Inter net Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra#@x&amp;^(C%..........reboot

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


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## DVINNY (Sep 28, 2008)

Love Colonel Sanders.


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## Dark Knight (Sep 29, 2008)

That was a good and deep read Fraz.....thanks for the laugh. I did need it.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 3, 2008)

Straight fron theonion.com



> COLUMBIA, SC—In a nationally televised speech Friday, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama altered his vision of a unified America to exclude Dayton, OH loser Nate Walsh.
> According to Obama, the 32-year-old Walsh, who has lived with his parents intermittently since receiving his associate's degree in 2001 and still does not have a credit card in his own name, no longer figures into the senator's long-term plan of rallying Americans from all walks of life around a common, higher purpose.
> 
> "People of South Carolina, people of the world, this is our time, this is our moment," Obama said before 72,000 supporters at the University of South Carolina's Williams-Brice Stadium. "That is, unless you live in apartment 3L at 1254 Holden St., you watched Money Train on TBS last night at 3 a.m., and your name is Nate Walsh."
> ...


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## DVINNY (Oct 3, 2008)

Barack Obama has put out an ad that simple minded John McCain cannot use a computer.

I have heard through the grapevine that Harvard educated Barack Obama cannot land a jet plane on an aircraft carrier at night..... hehehehehe


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 3, 2008)

My wife is a post-doc there and unless she's secretly doing stealth ops and the mouse experiment stuff is just a coverup, she can't either.

But I've got a friend who can. :true: Makes the drainage system I'm laying out today seem kind of mundane.


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## DVINNY (Oct 14, 2008)

[No message]


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## EM_PS (Oct 14, 2008)

Obama gets served by Sponge Bob &amp; Patrick - priceless


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## DVINNY (Oct 18, 2008)

although the Obama supporters call this racist ^^^, I can't help it. I think its funny.

Cause if they make a political cartoon charachter of Obama, it would look just like Curious George.


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## DVINNY (Oct 18, 2008)

so outta fairness


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## DVINNY (Oct 18, 2008)

But the top one is offensive, the bottom two are funny.

go figure.


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## Casey (Oct 18, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> Barack Obama has put out an ad that simple minded John McCain cannot use a computer.


Is this the one?


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## DVINNY (Oct 18, 2008)

^^^ oh dear.

charley everywhere!!! bravo delta niner


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## FLBuff PE (Oct 19, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> although the Obama supporters call this racist ^^^, I can't help it. I think its funny.
> 
> Cause if they make a political cartoon charachter of Obama, it would look just like Curious George.


To let you know that I play fair, I laughed out loud at this.


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## Dleg (Oct 19, 2008)

I think it's funny, too. And I can see how that could cuse a knee-jerk "racism!" reaction. Which is too bad, because it is pretty accurate in many other ways.


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## Casey (Oct 20, 2008)

DVINNY said:


>


Did the republicans ban this picture? Because it obviously shows that if you vote Democrat (i.e. Obama) you will get more bananas. And we just can't have that.


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## roadwreck (Oct 20, 2008)

awe son of a bitch! Yea the Curious George/Obama thing may be funny, but if you happen to be sitting at your desk scrolling down this page as someone of African American decent walks into your office right as you scroll past that picture you kind of get a dirty look. Thanks guys. If nobody hears from me for the rest of the afternoon it's b/c I've been dragged off by the human resources department and lashed with a bamboo cane.


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## Dleg (Oct 20, 2008)

^^ :lmao:

(sorry!)


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## DVINNY (Oct 20, 2008)

Casey said:


> Did the republicans ban this picture? Because it obviously shows that if you vote Democrat (i.e. Obama) you will get more bananas. And we just can't have that.


well, actually Bananas stand for the amount of taxes to be taken from you. :smileyballs:


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## Dleg (Oct 20, 2008)

I'm not sure if this belongs unde Obama jokes or McCain jokes, so I'll just post it in here:



> From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada –
> The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
> 
> "Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. 'I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,' said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
> ...


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## DVINNY (Oct 20, 2008)

^^^ That is great.

I think it equally bashes both sides. It makes the conservatives sound like a bunch of gun-totin' amish, and the liberals like a bunch of homo-sissies.......

well.....

LOL


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## mudpuppy (Oct 21, 2008)

One I heard at work the other day:

If he is elected it would be an Obama-nation.


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## DVINNY (Oct 21, 2008)

I figured I'd put this in Obama jokes since it was said by his JOKE pick of a VP



> "It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy." -- Joe Biden


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## Capt Worley PE (Oct 22, 2008)

Isn't EVERY crisis generated in one form or another?


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## Road Guy (Oct 28, 2008)

I did a test of share the wealth…..

Yesterday on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read “Vote Obama, I need the money.” I laughed.

Once in the restaurant my server had on a “Obama 08″ tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference–just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need–the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I’ve decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved the money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.


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## Supe (Oct 28, 2008)

Road Guy said:


> I did a test of share the wealth…..
> Yesterday on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read “Vote Obama, I need the money.” I laughed.
> 
> Once in the restaurant my server had on a “Obama 08″ tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference–just imagine the coincidence.
> ...


This has got to be one of the single greatest things I have ever read on the internet. I applaud you, sir.


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## DVINNY (Oct 28, 2008)

Except at least 10 of my buddies have emailed me this week with the exact same story as RoadGuy's. LOL.

Still great though.


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## Chucktown PE (Oct 28, 2008)

I'll do you one better. Just print these little cards up and leave them as tips. I did it on Friday, Monday, and will do it again today. The only catch is that you have to give someone the money. So I have been giving it to the guy who plays the saxaphone outside my office window.

I have to give credit to Neal Boortz for this. I got it off of his blog.


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## Road Guy (Oct 28, 2008)

yes I should have inferred that I copied and pasted that from an email


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## Supe (Oct 28, 2008)

Applause just the same, because I hadn't read that one yet!


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## Dleg (Oct 29, 2008)

Chucktown PE said:


> I'll do you one better. Just print these little cards up and leave them as tips. I did it on Friday, Monday, and will do it again today. The only catch is that you have to give someone the money. So I have been giving it to the guy who plays the saxaphone outside my office window.
> 
> 
> I have to give credit to Neal Boortz for this. I got it off of his blog.


That's awesome. Only one catch - would you mind posting your picture, and that of Neal Boortz? I want to make sure I am not in a restaurant with either of you when the staff decide to pay you back by "spreading the health."

Better avoid the special sauce.


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## Chucktown PE (Oct 29, 2008)

Dleg said:


> That's awesome. Only one catch - would you mind posting your picture, and that of Neal Boortz? I want to make sure I am not in a restaurant with either of you when the staff decide to pay you back by "spreading the health."
> Better avoid the special sauce.


Ahh, little grasshopper. I am one step ahead of you. 1. Tipping is always done after the eating. 2. I don't plan on visiting the same restaurant twice within a short amount of time. 3. If I do, I generally order takeout with an alias. 4. My hypothesis is that since the server sees this after I have already walked out the door, there is probably little face recognition. 5. I always check my food for anything remotely resembling special sauce. 6. I NEVER ORDER ANYTHING WITH MAYONAISE.

What a tangled web I weave.


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## Road Guy (Oct 30, 2008)

:unitedstates:


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## roadwreck (Oct 30, 2008)

Chucktown PE said:


> Ahh, little grasshopper. I am one step ahead of you. 1. Tipping is always done after the eating. 2. I don't plan on visiting the same restaurant twice within a short amount of time. 3. If I do, I generally order takeout with an alias. 4. My hypothesis is that since the server sees this after I have already walked out the door, there is probably little face recognition. 5. I always check my food for anything remotely resembling special sauce. 6. I NEVER ORDER ANYTHING WITH MAYONAISE.
> What a tangled web I weave.


I realize this is a joke, but a word of caution to anyone who does want to try it out for fun. Servers remember customers that don't leave tips. My wife worked in an upscale restaurant when in college. She has a terrible memory (if I asked her right now what we had for dinner last night I doubt she would know the answer), but to this day she can recall the name of a customer that left zero tip. This has to be almost ten years ago now. It actually cost her money b/c she had to 'tip-out' at the end of the night, so even though she didn't get a tip she still had to tip-out on the value of the bill. Servers remember this. So if you try this trick *NEVER* go back.

P.S. - Shad Gregory Moss owes my wife money.


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## chaosiscash (Oct 30, 2008)

Shad? He was named after a minnow? Sounds like his parents owe him some money.

Agree on the no tip thing. My wife worked as a server in college as well. They remember EVERYTHING.


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## DVINNY (Oct 30, 2008)

roadwreck said:


> P.S. - Shad Gregory Moss owes my wife money.


With a name like SHAD, I'd bet the tip he owes that he ain't straight. He has issues.

Now the name SeHAD is TOTALLY DIFFERENT (for the record)


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## BluSkyy (Oct 30, 2008)

is he a well known rapper? http://www.hollywood.com/celebrity/Shad_Gregory_Moss/1123746


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## Capt Worley PE (Oct 30, 2008)

I bet Shad G. Moss wears popped collars.


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## DVINNY (Oct 30, 2008)

and is NOT awesome


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## roadwreck (Oct 30, 2008)

BluSkyy said:


> is he a well known rapper? http://www.hollywood.com/celebrity/Shad_Gregory_Moss/1123746


Well known? That's debatable. Rapper? Yes.


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## Capt Worley PE (Oct 30, 2008)

DVINNY said:


> and is NOT awesome


Not even mediocre.


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## FLBuff PE (Oct 30, 2008)

He's the real Slim Shaddy


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## Dleg (Oct 30, 2008)

Yeah, but he's a libertarian rebel, and proud of it!


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Nov 1, 2008)

I only stiffed a server once. We were at a comedy club and I ran out of cash. Between drinks and food the bill was $50 and I left $1 tip. The waitresses bitched at us the whole way out. Oh well, the show was funny as hell.


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## ktulu (Nov 7, 2008)

the new bumper sticker.


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## Road Guy (Nov 18, 2008)

After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Osama is still alive', Barrack Hussein Obama has now been telling everyone he will capture Osama Bin Laden when elected."

So, Osama himself decided to send Barrack Hussein Obama a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:

370H-SSV-0773H

Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Howard Dean.

Dean and the DNC and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to Joe Biden.

Joe Biden could not solve so it was sent to the FBI and the CIA.

Eventually they asked John McCain and his Staff to look at it.

And within a minute McCain's Staff e-mailed Obama with this reply: 'Tell Obama he's holding the message upside down'.


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## Dleg (Nov 18, 2008)

yuk yuk yuk...


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## DVINNY (Nov 18, 2008)

^^ I'm using it. I like it.


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