# News Story



## DVINNY (Nov 3, 2010)

http://www.jacksonnewspapers.com/news/x127...-at-knife-point



> Fairplain, W.Va. — An unwanted sexual advance landed a Ripley woman in jail after she allegedly brandished a knife to get her “request” met.
> Jackson County Sheriff’s Deputy R. Mellinger responded to a possible domestic dispute at the I-77 Motor Inn near Fairplain last Friday. Upon arriving, Mellinger met Danny R. William, James A. Watson and Melissa L. Williams; Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn.
> 
> Mellinger stated he observed Melissa to be naked from the waist down, sitting in a living room chair, inside Danny’s apartment.
> ...


----------



## Sschell (Nov 3, 2010)

sounds like a class act!


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Nov 3, 2010)

> Danny stated that he declined the invitation, however, Watson agreed he would perform at her request. The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further.


For several reasons, this may be the funniest thing I ever read.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Nov 3, 2010)

> The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further.



uke:


----------



## DVINNY (Nov 3, 2010)

once again,

I'm proud to be from :wv:


----------



## DVINNY (Nov 3, 2010)




----------



## MA_PE (Nov 3, 2010)

sschell_PE said:


> sounds like a class act!


I know. Who would've expected such a thing from residents of the I-77 Motor Inn, Fairplain, :wv: ?


----------



## Supe (Nov 3, 2010)

I love how it was the ex that declined, but his buddy was all for a free meal.


----------



## benbo (Nov 3, 2010)

Supe said:


> I love how it was the ex that declined, but his buddy was all for a free meal.


Likely because the ex had already had a bad experience dining at that establishment.


----------



## DVINNY (Nov 3, 2010)

:whipping:

:rotflmao:


----------



## Sschell (Nov 3, 2010)

benbo said:


> Supe said:
> 
> 
> > I love how it was the ex that declined, but his buddy was all for a free meal.
> ...



uke: uke: uke:


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Nov 3, 2010)

sschell_PE said:


> benbo said:
> 
> 
> > Supe said:
> ...


Weird. That's what the guy ahead of you did.


----------



## FusionWhite (Nov 3, 2010)

Does the local PD have a website you can look up mugshots on? I would love to see what this "lady" looks like.


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Nov 3, 2010)

FusionWhite said:


> Does the local PD have a website you can look up mugshots on? I would love to see what this "lady" looks like.


I have a sneaking suspicion if you did look it up, you'd be sorry.


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Nov 3, 2010)

^Just follow your nose apparently.


----------



## FusionWhite (Nov 3, 2010)

Capt Worley PE said:


> FusionWhite said:
> 
> 
> > Does the local PD have a website you can look up mugshots on? I would love to see what this "lady" looks like.
> ...



You're probably right. Plus the Jackson County Sherrifs Department doesnt seem to have one o' them thar fancy inner-nets websites yet.


----------



## Dleg (Nov 4, 2010)

Capt Worley PE said:


> sschell_PE said:
> 
> 
> > benbo said:
> ...


See, this is exactly why I entered the term "Swanson Dinner" on Urban Dictionary. I knew that someday, it would be proven true (and useful!)


----------



## DVINNY (Nov 7, 2010)

FusionWhite said:


> Does the local PD have a website you can look up mugshots on? I would love to see what this "lady" looks like.


You ask, and you shall recieve






http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/west-v...d-police-report


----------



## Dleg (Nov 7, 2010)

I can smell her from here....


----------



## Supe (Nov 8, 2010)

I'd rather starve to death. Twice.


----------



## Master slacker (Nov 8, 2010)

who... the... fug... obliged... to... that???


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Nov 8, 2010)

DVINNY said:


> FusionWhite said:
> 
> 
> > Does the local PD have a website you can look up mugshots on? I would love to see what this "lady" looks like.
> ...


----------



## Ble_PE (Nov 8, 2010)

^Did you really have to quote DVINNY to post that? I had to see that hideousness again! uke:


----------



## MA_PE (Nov 8, 2010)

from the comments.



> “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your f'ing throat" - ??? uhhhhh, i'll take option B.


:lmao:


----------



## Chucktown PE (Nov 8, 2010)

I'll take the knife to the jugular for $400 Alex.


----------



## FusionWhite (Nov 8, 2010)

DVINNY said:


> FusionWhite said:
> 
> 
> > Does the local PD have a website you can look up mugshots on? I would love to see what this "lady" looks like.
> ...



My retinas.....they burn.


----------



## MA_PE (Nov 8, 2010)

for God's sake stop repeating that post.

I want to know where she got the $3k to post bail.


----------



## Supe (Nov 8, 2010)

I'm sure she sold her body for cold hard cash.


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Nov 8, 2010)

Supe said:


> I'm sure she sold her body for cold hard cash.


Only a rendering plant would be interested.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Nov 8, 2010)

Supe said:


> I'm sure she sold her body for cold hard cash.



I was thinking she might have volunteered for some sort of medical study. I'm sure there's a whole plethora of fungi and flesh eating bacteria that she's carrying and she'd be perfect for some sort of clinical trial.


----------



## wilheldp_PE (Nov 8, 2010)

MA_PE said:


> for God's sake stop repeating that post.


What post?

This one?



DVINNY said:


> You ask, and you shall recieve


----------



## Dark Knight (Nov 8, 2010)

uke:


----------



## frazil (Nov 8, 2010)

Dleg said:


> I can smell her from here....


:lmao:

this thread is awful and hilarious at the same time.


----------



## Dark Knight (Nov 8, 2010)

frazil said:


> Dleg said:
> 
> 
> > I can smell her from here....
> ...


Huh? Where is VT?


----------



## FusionWhite (Nov 8, 2010)

I would like to point out again that this all started in West Virginia. Let the mocking resume!


----------



## RIP - VTEnviro (Nov 8, 2010)

frazil said:


> Dleg said:
> 
> 
> > I can smell her from here....
> ...


Just like a donkey show!








Dark Knight said:


> Huh? Where is VT?


There's a vacancy open for president of my fan club DK.


----------



## MA_PE (Nov 8, 2010)

wilheldp_PE said:


> MA_PE said:
> 
> 
> > for God's sake stop repeating that post.
> ...


yes. that would be the one.


----------



## Sschell (Nov 8, 2010)

> It was at this point Melissa allegedly produced a lock-back folding knife, pointed it at Danny and stated, "somebody is going to [perform a sexual act on me] or I'm going to cut your [expletive] throat."


OK... I'm ready!


----------



## Sschell (Nov 8, 2010)

Now I just feel underprepared.


----------



## DVINNY (Nov 8, 2010)

FusionWhite said:


> I would like to point out again that this all started in West Virginia. Let the mocking resume!


^ says the guy from Kentucky

:screwloose:


----------



## wilheldp_PE (Nov 8, 2010)

DVINNY said:


> FusionWhite said:
> 
> 
> > I would like to point out again that this all started in West Virginia. Let the mocking resume!
> ...


Yeah, FW...don't make fun of the only state that makes us look good by comparison. Well, I guess Mississippi is a strong contender for that title too.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Nov 8, 2010)

I was talking to a fellow South Carolinian a few months ago at an oyster roast, he's from Columbia, SC and started talking about how great Charleston, SC is. His final comment was "Charleston is great, it's the only thing that makes us better than Mississippi."


----------



## FusionWhite (Nov 8, 2010)

wilheldp_PE said:


> DVINNY said:
> 
> 
> > FusionWhite said:
> ...



Im convinced that if we split off Kentucky east of Lexington and merged it into West Virginia our standing on just about every statistic would sky rocket.


----------



## DVINNY (Nov 8, 2010)

We say the same thing about the south-western part of our state. If we could lob it off and send it to Kentucky (it's a perfect fit), we'd be a TOP 10.


----------



## FusionWhite (Nov 8, 2010)

DVINNY said:


> We say the same thing about the south-western part of our state. If we could lob it off and send it to Kentucky (it's a perfect fit), we'd be a TOP 10.


We'll compromise: Western W.V. + Eastern Kentucky = West Virtucky.


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Nov 8, 2010)

Chucktown PE said:


> I was talking to a fellow South Carolinian a few months ago at an oyster roast, he's from Columbia, SC and started talking about how great Charleston, SC is. His final comment was "Charleston is great, it's the only thing that makes us better than Mississippi."


I think I'm the only person in the state that absolutely hates Charleston. If it fell into the ocean, I wouldn't really care. Too expensive, too snobby, and too packed together for me.


----------



## Chucktown PE (Nov 8, 2010)

Capt Worley PE said:


> Chucktown PE said:
> 
> 
> > I was talking to a fellow South Carolinian a few months ago at an oyster roast, he's from Columbia, SC and started talking about how great Charleston, SC is. His final comment was "Charleston is great, it's the only thing that makes us better than Mississippi."
> ...



If you're south of Broad all of those qualities apply. I'm no blue blood though.


----------



## DVINNY (Nov 8, 2010)

Very good illustration of West Virtucky.

the above U.S. poverty map pretty much speaks for itself as to the issue


----------



## wilheldp_PE (Nov 8, 2010)

FusionWhite said:


> Im convinced that if we split off Kentucky east of Lexington and merged it into West Virginia our standing on just about every statistic would sky rocket.


If you took Louisville (Jefferson County), and all adjacent counties, and allowed them to secede from Kentucky, the GDP of the rest of the state would probably drop about 90%.


----------



## Master slacker (Nov 8, 2010)

Next page please.


----------



## Master slacker (Nov 8, 2010)

We're engineers, right? We like equations, right? Well... here ya go!




+



= uke:


----------



## Chucktown PE (Nov 8, 2010)

DVINNY said:


> FusionWhite said:
> 
> 
> > Does the local PD have a website you can look up mugshots on? I would love to see what this "lady" looks like.
> ...



Did you not want to have to look at this lovely lady any longer?


----------

