# wish JR's ex-wife goodbye



## cement (Feb 17, 2009)

suggestions for JR to use when sending off the soon-to-be EX mrs JR!


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## Road Guy (Feb 17, 2009)

Oh SHit!!!!!

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Dear Mrs.

Goodbye.

Jr.

PS: I would rather jerk off than f_ck you

oh snap!


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## cement (Feb 17, 2009)

a dead possum road pizza

is more appealing than you.

JR


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## rudy (Feb 18, 2009)

Dearest Ms. Ex-JR,

WTF are you doing? You are ruining the lives of hundreds, if not millions, of households across the U.S. Don't you see? Once JR is set free, nothing will prevent the women on this board from pursuing him. It is that small band around his finger, small as it may be, yet powerful enough, to restrain our loved ones from JR's magnetism.

For the love of humanity, help us,

Mr. rudy

:lmao:


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## klk (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear soon-to-be Ex Mrs JR,

I wish you all the best in your future relationships. They do say opposites attract . . . so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

JR


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## bigray76 (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Soon-to-be Ex Mrs. JR,

Why don't you go outside and play a game of hide and go f_ck yourself? Have a nice life, I know I will!

JR


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## cement (Feb 18, 2009)

hey my former friend,

how about a big steaming bowl of go f^ck yourself?


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Soon-to-be Ex Mrs. JR,

I hope you enjoyed the Cleveland Steamer.


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## Guest (Feb 18, 2009)

Awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would love to hear some more though!! 

JR


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Soon-to-be Ex Mrs. JR.

That was pretty awesome of me to eat spicy chilli and a greasy philly cheese steak before our final blumpkin huh?


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## FLBuff PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Ex JR,

Ballerina Girl, Commando Girl, Ipod Girl and Ms. Applebottoms send their regards!

JR


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## csb (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Ex-JR,

Sweet engineer loving is not easy to find. You may think it is, but it's not. We're a hot bunch, us math nerds.

Sincerely,

eb.com


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Ex JR,

I've arranged a date for you with a guy named Fudgey. He really likes spicy food. I think it would be best if you slept with him on the first date and had him spend the night.


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## FLBuff PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Now that is just wrong!


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## csb (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Ex-JR,

If you do decide you want some sweet engineer loving, I'm here for you.

Signed,

YKW


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## FLBuff PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Also wrong, and yet, both are oh so right!


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Ex-JR,

Got pics?

Sincerely,

Frecoder


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## csb (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Ex-JR,

Thank you for divorcing JR, so that I could learn of such colorful women in Florida.

csb


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## jmbeck (Feb 18, 2009)

Chucktown PE said:


> Dear Mrs. Ex-JR,
> Got pics?
> 
> Sincerely,
> ...


Classic...

I don't post much, but I must say :appl: .


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## jmbeck (Feb 18, 2009)

Not a letter so much, but a song I'd like to share. From _Use Your Illusion I_, which I hope all of you have.

_I tried so hard just to get through to you_

But your head's so far

from the remnants of truth

Was it just a come on in the dark

Was it meant to last long?

I think you've worn your welcome honey

I'll just see you along as I sing you this song

Time can pass slowly, and

things always change

Your day's been numbered

And you've read your last page

You was just a temporary lover

Honey you ain't the first

Lots of others came before you woman

Said but you been the worst

Said but you been the worst

So goodbye to you girl

So long, farewell

I can't hear you cryin'

Your jivin's been hell

So look for me walkin'

Down your street at night

I'll be in with another

Deep down inside

Deep down inside


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## FLBuff PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Truly excellent post by jmbeck.


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## rudy (Feb 18, 2009)

Wow! Such a song exists?


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## FLBuff PE (Feb 18, 2009)

You doubt the greatness of GNR?


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## csb (Feb 18, 2009)

I like that this thread caused someone to break out into song.

Dear Ex-Mrs. JR,

I hope you get watermelon bottom.

Cordially,

csb


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## FLBuff PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Ex Mrs. JR,

Miami was not far enough away to escape the smell emanating from between your legs. Good luck with that.

JR


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## jmbeck (Feb 18, 2009)

If you're easily offended capable of being offended, please don't click on the video below. Oh yeah, probably don't need to at work either.

I know exactly what I'm going to do.


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## cement (Feb 18, 2009)

that's pretty harsh! but funny.


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## FLBuff PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Inspired by jmbeck's musical post, I present the second track on the 'Goodbye, Ex Mrs. JR' CD.

Hope it Gives you Hell by The All American Rejects

[SIZE=8pt]_I wake up every evening_[/SIZE]

With a big smile on my face

And it never feels out of place

And you're still prob'ly workin'

At a 9-to-5 pace

I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

When you walk my way

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

Now where's your picket fence, love?

And where's that shiny car?

And did it ever get you far?

And you never seemed so tense, love

I've never seen you fall so hard

Do you know where you are?

And truth be told, I miss you

And truth be told, I'm lyin'

When you see my face

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

When you walk my way

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

If you find a man that's worth a damn

And treats you well

Then he's a fool; you're just as well

Hope it gives you hell

I hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself

"Where did I go wrong?"

But the list goes on and on

But truth be told, I miss you

And truth be told, I'm lyin'

When you see my face

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

When you walk my way

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

If you find a man that's worth a damn

And treats you well

Then he's a fool; you're just as well

Hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see

What you've done to me

You can take back your memories

They're no good to me

And here's all your lies

You can look me in the eyes

With the sad, sad look

That you wear so well

When you see my face

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

When you walk my way

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

When you find a man that's worth a damn

And treats you well

Then he's a fool; you're just as well

Hope it gives you hell

When you see my face

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

(Hope it gives you hell!)

When you walk my way

Hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

(Hope it gives you hell!)

When you hear this song and you sing along

But you never tell

(But you never tell!)

Then you're a fool; I'm just as well

Hope it gives you hell

(Hope it gives you hell!)

When you hear this song

I hope that it will give you hell

(Hope it gives you hell!)

You can sing along

I hope that it puts you through hell


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## cement (Feb 18, 2009)

where will she see JR's face, you tube porno?


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## csb (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Ex-Mrs. JR,

Your family sucks too.

Hard.

Not in the good way.


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## cement (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Soon-toBe-Ex Wife,

A dead armidillo has more sex appeal.

and a better personality.

JR


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## snickerd3 (Feb 18, 2009)

good bye insensitive [email protected]


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 18, 2009)

csb said:


> I like that this thread caused someone to break out into song.
> 
> Dear Ex-Mrs. JR,
> 
> ...



What is watermelon bottom?


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## roadwreck (Feb 18, 2009)

Chucktown PE said:


> What is watermelon bottom?


yes, inquiring minds want to know


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## rudy (Feb 18, 2009)

is that like cellulite? five


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## klk (Feb 18, 2009)

I imagine its worse than cellulite


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## rudy (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Ex-Wife,

Now you can pursue your dream of becoming a movie star. Why don't you give Fudge a call. He's holding a casting call for a new medical commericial. It will do wonders for your career.

JK


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## klk (Feb 18, 2009)

Dear Ex-Mrs JR,

You should learn from your parent's mistakes - be sure to use birth control.

JR


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## cement (Feb 19, 2009)

I just scraped something off my shoe

then I thought of you.


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

Dear Ex,

Only one request I make of you. Please do not hook up with Tmckeon -- the most perfect man in the world.

I would be jealous (NOT).

JR.


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## klk (Feb 19, 2009)

Dear ex-Mrs,

Do you smell dog poo? Oh wait, that's you.

JR


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

Why did Tigger smell? Because he was playing with Pooh. Oh wait, this belongs in a different thread.


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## klk (Feb 19, 2009)

Dear Ex-Mrs,

Every girl has a right to be ugly, but you abused that privilege.

JR


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## bigray76 (Feb 19, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Ex-JR,

You are not welcome in Jersey, so fuhgedaboutit. We don't want you messing up lives in our state either.

A friend of a friend of a friend of JR.


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2009)

Totally lovin' the suggetions!!! :multiplespotting: :multiplespotting:

Any more? 

JR


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Did we ever find out what watermelon bottom is?


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## cement (Feb 19, 2009)

now watermellon top is a whole nother thing.


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 19, 2009)

cement said:


> now watermellon top is a whole nother thing.



That's true. Although I prefer grapefruits or cantaloupes. Watermelons are so big I wouldn't know what to do with them.


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## Dexman1349 (Feb 19, 2009)

Chucktown PE said:


> That's true. Although I prefer grapefruits or cantaloupes. Watermelons are so big I wouldn't know what to do with them.



I prefer Naval Oranges (not the "cutesy" smaller versions). Grapefruits are good to look at but have so much wasted surface area during harvest and anything bigger always seems to have long lost chambers somewhere underneath. I think the fruit should have full access to air and sunlight without needing to be lifted and/or flipped over and still be big enough to get a good grip on.

I always think there is something wrong when they are smaller than peaches when there is a watermelon in the basement.


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## csb (Feb 19, 2009)

I figured if "applebottom" refers to a rather robust booty, watermelon would be too much booty


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Dexman1349 said:


> I prefer Naval Oranges (not the "cutesy" smaller versions). Grapefruits are good to look at but have so much wasted surface area during harvest and anything bigger always seems to have long lost chambers somewhere underneath. I think the fruit should have full access to air and sunlight without needing to be lifted and/or flipped over and still be big enough to get a good grip on.
> I always think there is something wrong when they are smaller than peaches when there is a watermelon in the basement.



True. But by that rationale, grapefruits would be awesome if they were firm and perfectly hemispherical. Then they would have full access to air and sunlight. See Florida State girl thread. I would classify those as grapefruits.


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## snickerd3 (Feb 19, 2009)

Dear ex-mrs jr

Do don't complete me.

JR


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

csb said:


> I figured if "applebottom" refers to a rather robust booty, watermelon would be too much booty


ah, ye olde watermelon bottom. time to update wikipedia.


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## klk (Feb 19, 2009)

Dear Ex-mrs JR

Roses are red, violets are blue

I'm so glad to be rid of you!

JR


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## cement (Feb 19, 2009)

Yo Beyoch!

I think of you gone from my life, and I can't stop smiling!

JR


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

Dear Ex,

Nah Nah Naaah Naaah

Nah Nah Naaah Naaah

Hey Heyyyyy

Gooooddd byyyye

JR


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## cement (Feb 19, 2009)

here's one that will really put her in her place:

tell her to put an egg in her shoe and beat it!

I know, harsh


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

Michael Jackson style... four five


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## cement (Feb 19, 2009)

tell her she looks like michael jackson? oooh that's harsh.


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

like the zombies from thriller


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## cement (Feb 19, 2009)

that would be a good look for her! perhaps an improvement?


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

Dear Ex,

Great news! You've won a makeover from EB.com. Please contact cement. Let him know you want the Thriller special.

JR.


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## cement (Feb 19, 2009)

now where did I leave that belt sander?


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

maybe frazil can help you with the hair-makeover part of it


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## cement (Feb 19, 2009)

It's cool, I've got jumper cables


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

the new Ms. EX will be an electrifying woman.


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## cement (Feb 19, 2009)

you mean like an eel?


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## rudy (Feb 19, 2009)

yes. color and all. five.


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## klk (Feb 20, 2009)

Dear Ex,

I hope the plasma TV dies on you the day the divorce is final!

JR

PS: The warranty is up too!


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## roadwreck (Feb 20, 2009)

did we ever figure out what watermelon bottom was? Or was that a different thread. I'm so confused :wacko:


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## cement (Feb 20, 2009)

Dear EX

here is the TV you undeserving lump of tripe.

you will find it is perma stuck on the jerry springer channel. not that you would notice.

JR


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Dear Ex Mrs. JR,

Fudgey took the remote control for the TV to the bathroom with him.


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## snickerd3 (Feb 20, 2009)

Dear ex

Take a long walk off a short bridge


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Dear Ex,

I'm going to have "lunch" with our secretary today IN MY BEDROOM.


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## snickerd3 (Feb 20, 2009)

Dear Ex

Happiness is not being with you.


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## cement (Feb 20, 2009)

this thread really needs more outside participation. I mean how much crap can you give to one person?

wait a sec, maybe JR has a better perspective :16:


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## Chucktown PE (Feb 20, 2009)

How about anything you wish to say to any ex. We can't change the title of the thread but we can hopefully increase the post count.


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## snickerd3 (Feb 20, 2009)

thats basically the way the thread has been going anyways


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## Guest (Feb 20, 2009)

I will add my own at this point ...

Can't wait to say .. "so how's 40ish treating you? I have been finding mid-20s is MUCH better! 

JR


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## snickerd3 (Feb 20, 2009)

just wait until after the papers are signed so there is no backlash


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## csb (Feb 20, 2009)

jregieng said:


> I will add my own at this point ...
> Can't wait to say .. "so how's 40ish treating you? I have been finding mid-20s is MUCH better!
> 
> JR


Oh snap! That's harsh...and funny!


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## snickerd3 (Feb 20, 2009)

Good ridance to bag rubbage


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## FLBuff PE (Feb 27, 2009)

In light of recent events, DV and the A team should make some contributions to this thread...


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2009)

Well, the time has come ... Ex Mrs. JR has finally followed thru with her commitments, so as of Friday, we are no longer legally or financially tied together! :multiplespotting: :multiplespotting:

Interestingly, she sent me a few text messages that suggest she still thinks fondly of me and would like to retain a relationship and suggested something more in the future!! :suicide:

I need some help to say goodbye with this new twist .... any more suggestions anyone?

JR


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## snickerd3 (Aug 15, 2009)

jregieng said:


> Well, the time has come ... Ex Mrs. JR has finally followed thru with her commitments, so as of Friday, we are no longer legally or financially tied together! :multiplespotting: :multiplespotting:
> Interestingly, she sent me a few text messages that suggest she still thinks fondly of me and would like to retain a relationship and suggested something more in the future!! :suicide:
> 
> I need some help to say goodbye with this new twist .... any more suggestions anyone?
> ...


Why not depart with things on high note. Just a simple thanks but no thanks. You've moved on and up in the world and you just don't see a relationship being retained.


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## csb (Aug 15, 2009)

Dear Ex-Mrs. JR,

Don't call.

JR


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## EM_PS (Aug 15, 2009)

jregieng said:


> Well, the time has come ... Ex Mrs. JR has finally followed thru with her commitments, so as of Friday, we are no longer legally or financially tied together! :multiplespotting: :multiplespotting:


:bananapowerslide: Hearty Congrabulations compadre!



jregieng said:


> Interestingly, she sent me a few text messages that suggest she still thinks fondly of me and would like to retain a relationship and suggested something more in the future!! :suicide:


Ummm, no. . .. not interestingly

Dear Ex:

I've found someone half your age &amp; twice as hot!

Thanx, JR


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## Guest (Aug 15, 2009)

snickerd3 said:


> Why not depart with things on high note. Just a simple thanks but no thanks. You've moved on and up in the world and you just don't see a relationship being retained.


I suppose I could go the high road .... or not! :bandevil:

I just found it so incredible how full of herself she has become .. and now that things with her 'live-in' are decaying ... she is looking back towards the greener pastures. I don't think I can be polite at this juncture!



csb said:


> Dear Ex-Mrs. JR,
> Don't call.
> 
> JR


I have been looking into getting this set to my ring-in from her ....

:appl: :respect: :bowdown: :appl:

JR


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## ElCid03 (Aug 15, 2009)

Good luck with this next phase of your life.

:tribe:


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## Guest (Aug 16, 2009)

ElCid03 said:


> Good luck with this next phase of your life.
> :tribe:


Thanks!!! I am well on my way! 

JR


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## Dark Knight (Aug 16, 2009)

You guys, and gals, will never change. You are really :w00t:

It was :Locolaugh: :Locolaugh: though.


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