# Schoolyard songs



## Capt Worley PE (Jun 24, 2010)

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord

He was cruisin' down the alley in a pink and yellow Ford.

One hand was on the throttle, and the other on a bottle of

Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer!

Glory, Glory, what's it to ya?

Glory, Glory, what's it to ya?

Oh my President has a first name

it's j-i-m-m-y

oh my President has a second name

it's c-a-r-t-e-r

I like to curse him everyday

and if you ask me why I'll say

'cuz jimmy carter has a way

of ****** up the USA

Comet, it makes your mouth turn green

Comet, it tastes like Listerine,

Comet, it makes you vomit,

So buy some Comet and vomit today.

When you're driving down the road

and you gotta drop a load

Diarrhea, diarrhea!

When you're driving in your chevy

and you feel something heavy

Diarrhea, diarrhea!

Some people think it's funny

but it's really hot and runny

Diarrhea, diarrhea!

There's no pain, there's no strain,

just sit back and let it drain


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## benbo (Jun 24, 2010)

Not a song, but notable bathroom stall grafitti from middle school-

"Flush twice. It's a long way to the cafeteria."


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## Supe (Jun 24, 2010)

benbo said:


> Not a song, but notable bathroom stall grafitti from middle school-
> "Flush twice. It's a long way to the cafeteria."



Along those lines, "Here I sit, broken hearted. Came to poop but only farted."


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## snickerd3 (Jun 24, 2010)

Miss Mary Mac, Mac, Mac

All dressed in black, black, black.

With silver buttons, buttons, buttons

All down her back, back, back.

She asked her mother, mother, mother

For 50 cents, cents, cents.

To see the elephants, elephants, elephants

Jump over the fence, fence, fence.

They jumped so high, high, high

They reached the sky, sky, sky

They never came back, back, back

Till the 4th of July, July, July.


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## neabob (Jun 24, 2010)

On top of ol' Smoky, all covered with cheese

I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed

It rolled off the table and onto the floor

And then my poor meatball rolled right out the door


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## Sschell (Jun 24, 2010)

there once was a dude from Nantucket...


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## snickerd3 (Jun 24, 2010)

There are hand movements to go with the song.

Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut

Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut

Mc Donalds, Mc Donalds

Burger King, Wendy's and Taco bell


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## MA_PE (Jun 24, 2010)

neabob said:


> On top of ol' Smoky, all covered with cheeseI lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed
> 
> It rolled off the table and onto the floor
> 
> And then my poor meatball rolled right out the door


It rolled in a garden

and under a bush

and then my poor meatball

was nothing but mush

Oh the mush was as tasty

as tasty could be

and early next summer

it grew into a tree

The tree was all covered

with beautiful moss

it grew lovely meatballs

and tomato sauce.


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## MA_PE (Jun 24, 2010)

Eddie Spaghetti

with the meatball eyes

put him in the oven

and you get french fries


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## EM_PS (Jun 24, 2010)

Glory glory Hallelujah

teacher hit me with a ruler

I stood behind the door with a loaded 44

and teacher don't teach no more


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## Road Guy (Jun 24, 2010)

Boys go to college to get more knowledge

Girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider


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## Capt Worley PE (Jun 24, 2010)

My mommy makes counterfeit whiskey

my daddy makes counterfeit gin

my sister makes love for ten dollars

my god how the money rolls in!


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## Capt Worley PE (Jun 24, 2010)

Jack and Jill went up the hill

to have a little fun,

Stupid Jill forgot the pill,

and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

to fetch a pail of water

Jack got horny, Jill got corny

and now they have a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

to smoke some marijuana

Jack got high, unzipped his fly

and Jill said "Ooh, I wanna."


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## EM_PS (Jun 24, 2010)

Susie had a steamboat

the steamboat had a bell

susie went to heaven

the steamboat went to

Hello operator

please get me #9

and if you disconnect me

i'll kick you right

Behind the fridgerator

there was a piece of glass

when susie fell upon it

she almost broke her

Ask me no more questions

I'll tell you no more lies

da da da da...i forget the rest


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## snickerd3 (Jun 24, 2010)

EM_PS said:


> Susie had a steamboatthe steamboat had a bell
> 
> susie went to heaven
> 
> ...


the boys are in the bathroom

zipping up their flys

are in the city

and bees are in the park

susie and her boyfriend

are kissing in the dark

is like a movie

a movies like a show

a show is like a tv set

and that is all I know


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## Capt Worley PE (Jun 24, 2010)

Road Guy said:


> Boys go to college to get more knowledgeGirls go to Jupiter to get more stupider


I learned it:

Boys go to Mars to get some candy bars

Girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider


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## snickerd3 (Jun 24, 2010)

The Princess Pat,

Lived in a tree,

She sailed across,

The seven seas,

She sailed across,

The Channel Two,

And she took with her,

A Rigabamboo.

A Rigabamboo,

Now what is that?

It's something made,

By the Princess Pat,

It's red and gold,

And purple too,

Thats why it's called,

A Rigabamboo.

Now Captain Jack,

Had a mighty fine crew,

He sailed across,

The Channel Two,

But his ship sank,

And yours will too,

If you don't take,

A Rigabamboo.

A Rigabamboo,

Now what is that?

It's something made,

By the Princess Pat,

It's red and gold,

And purple too,

Thats why it's called,

A Rigabamboo.


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## TouchDown (Jun 24, 2010)

Great green globs of

mutilated monkey meat

something something something something

grab a fork and let us eat...


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## TouchDown (Jun 24, 2010)

TouchDown said:


> Great green globs of mutilated monkey meat
> 
> something something something something
> 
> grab a fork and let us eat...


Had to look it up...

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

Mutilated monkey feet

Chopped up baby parakeet

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts

And me without my spoon


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## snickerd3 (Jun 24, 2010)

TouchDown said:


> TouchDown said:
> 
> 
> > Great green globs of mutilated monkey meat
> ...


how appepitizing


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## EM_PS (Jun 24, 2010)

one from my sister's day:

rooty toot toot, rooty toot toot

we are the girls from the institute

we don't smoke and we don't chew

and we don't go with the boys who do

our class won a bible - Do we have fun?

No!


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## neabob (Jun 24, 2010)

EM_PS said:


> Glory glory Hallelujahteacher hit me with a ruler
> 
> I stood behind the door with a loaded 44
> 
> and teacher don't teach no more



to begin:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school

We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule

We have planned to kill the principal tomorrow after school

Our truth goes marching on...

(man, did we really think something so brutal was funny?)


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## neabob (Jun 24, 2010)

TouchDown said:


> TouchDown said:
> 
> 
> > Great green globs of mutilated monkey meat
> ...


I always heard "mutilated monkey meat, little dirty birdie feet" instead of this version. interesting.


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## neabob (Jun 24, 2010)

there was the handclapping game:

hey hey my playmate, come out and play with me

and bring your dollies three

climb up my apple tree

slide down my rainbow

into my cellar door

and we'll be best friends

forevermore, more, more more more

love these!

hey hey my enemy, come out and fight with me

and bring your ogres three

climb up my poison tree

slide down my stickerbush

into my dungeon door

and we'll be enemies

forevermore, more, more more more


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## EM_PS (Jun 24, 2010)

:huh: where did you go to school, Sherwood Forest Elementary?


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## neabob (Jun 24, 2010)

EM_PS said:


> :huh: where did you go to school, Sherwood Forest Elementary?


meaning what, exactly?

I'm a girl. We sang more songs than boys did.


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## wilheldp_PE (Jun 24, 2010)

neabob said:


> EM_PS said:
> 
> 
> > Glory glory Hallelujahteacher hit me with a ruler
> ...


After Columbine, I think that singing these songs on the playground would be grounds for life in prison.


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## neabob (Jun 24, 2010)

wilheldp_PE said:


> After Columbine, I think that singing these songs on the playground would be grounds for life in prison.


I remember several other songs that I won't post here, precisely for that type of reason. and my cousins went to Columbine - safely, thank heavens.


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## benbo (Jun 24, 2010)

(pointing motions in parenthesis - it was mainly girls who did this)

Milk, milk; (point to each breast)

Lemonade; (point to crotch)

around the corner Fudge is made (point to butt)


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## Phalanx (Jun 25, 2010)

This land is my land.

It's not your land.

I got a shotgun.

You ain't got one.

If you don't get off,

I'll blow your head off.

This land is private property.

We used to sing this and several other violent songs, but never thought about acting them out. Then again, we used to jump out of swings, play bicycle tag in the street, and hop onto merry-go-rounds moving at light-speed. Maybe I wasn't sheltered enough to actually care about the songs.


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## csb (Jun 25, 2010)

I don't wanna throw up

But I already did

Made it to the toilet

But forgot to lift the lid


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## Supe (Jun 28, 2010)

Circle circle, dot dot, now I got my cootie shot.

Circle circle, square square, now I've got them everywhere!


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## Capt Worley PE (Jun 28, 2010)

The response for being told to shut up:

I don't shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up. And you go around the corner and lick it up.


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