# Cubicle Etiquette



## csb (Oct 20, 2014)

It seems like we had something like this, but I can't find it. What are the rules for cubicle etiquette?

I'll start:

1. No e-cigarettes at your motherlovin' desk!


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## Road Guy (Oct 20, 2014)

2. No Batin


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## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 20, 2014)

Keep the perfume/cologne to a minimum.


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## NJmike PE (Oct 20, 2014)

It might taste like chicken, but it smells like !#$%


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## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 20, 2014)

Reheating fish in the office microwave is a fire-able offense.


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## matt267 PE (Oct 20, 2014)

Fart somewhere else.


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## Mike in Gastonia (Oct 20, 2014)

Cell phones on vibrate and no speaker calls!


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## Ramnares P.E. (Oct 20, 2014)

If you need music while you work you better have headphones...and even then I shouldn't hear the music blaring from said headphones.


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## Ship Wreck PE (Oct 20, 2014)

Trim nails at home


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## kevo_55 (Oct 21, 2014)

I don't care how quiet you are, do not sing at your desk!


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## NJmike PE (Oct 21, 2014)

This is probably a bad idea and will get you reported to HR.


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## Ramnares P.E. (Oct 21, 2014)

This should be fair play for any breaches of cubicle etiquette...


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## snickerd3 (Oct 21, 2014)

take personal calls outside...no one needs to hear about medical procedures you are planning or just had...or for family members either


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## goodal (Oct 21, 2014)

Ship Wreck PE said:


> Trim nails at home




This. I mean, why not bathe in your cubicle too? Gross.


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## Ramnares P.E. (Oct 21, 2014)

This is only acceptable for smoking hot coworkers...and don't we all know that NYC is still trying to ban supersized sodas?



NJmike PE said:


> This is probably a bad idea and will get you reported to HR.


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## Ramnares P.E. (Oct 21, 2014)

You'd be surprised how many times I've seen this on the subway in NYC. Not much worst than being attacked by a clipped nail while sitting/standing next to someone.



Ship Wreck PE said:


> Trim nails at home


This. I mean, why not bathe in your cubicle too? Gross.


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## ventilator (Oct 21, 2014)

If you are eating in your cube, I don't need to hear about it with smacking/slurping.


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## Road Guy (Oct 21, 2014)

I like to leave my office and go to the cube dwellers and complain about how quiet and hot it is in my office


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## NJmike PE (Oct 21, 2014)

Road Guy said:


> I like to leave my office and go to the cube dwellers and complain about how quiet and hot it is in my office


I do this when the survey field crew comes in from either a frigid day or a hotter than hell day. usually goes over well.


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## Supe (Oct 21, 2014)

My irate speaker phone calls were what landed me an office!


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## engineergurl (Oct 21, 2014)

what is the saying, the squeeky wheel gets the oil first?


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## knight1fox3 (Oct 21, 2014)

goodal said:


> Ship Wreck PE said:
> 
> 
> > Trim nails at home
> ...


I just can't fathom how some people think this is acceptable in the work-place. Yet I've encountered it at almost every place of employment. :dunno:


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## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 21, 2014)

Why are people grossed out about trimming nails? I don't do it, but have never been bothered by coworkers who did.

Then again, it's not uncommon in construction to have a nail break or split and need to be trimmed.


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## matt267 PE (Oct 22, 2014)

hahaha I can hear someone clipping their nails right now...

clip....clip....clip....


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## ALBin517 (Oct 22, 2014)

I am the last cube for Engineering, right next to Planning. They have a "no eating at your desk" rule but Engineering doesn't. So they frequently express their resentment when I eat at my desk but I'd rather upset them than not eat.


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## ALBin517 (Oct 22, 2014)

Dexman PE PMP said:


> Reheating fish in the office microwave is a fire-able offense.




Fish is pretty bad.

My last job was in a two-story building and the kitchen was upstairs adjacent Engineering. About once a month, a receptionist would come upstairs to microwave fish or burn a bag of micro-pop. It would stink up the whole floor for a couple days but they worked downstairs and didn't care.


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## Road Guy (Oct 22, 2014)

Yesterday someone nuked some cabbage. It's a close second and possible tie for microwaved fish smell


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## goodal (Oct 22, 2014)

cabbage and fish should be outlawed at work.


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## NJmike PE (Oct 22, 2014)

at least look busy to the rest of the farm. I recall a time when someone was blatantly surfing the web, texting, sending personal emails, coming in 30 minutes late and leaving early and doing anything else but work. She got away with it for years too. Also, should be noted that she was "not hot" so that didn't factor the tolerance level


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## snickerd3 (Oct 22, 2014)

take your damn scentsy home! the rest of us don't want to be smelling pumpkin spice or whatever your scent of the day selection is.


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## csb (Oct 22, 2014)

Dexman PE PMP said:


> Why are people grossed out about trimming nails? I don't do it, but have never been bothered by coworkers who did.
> 
> Then again, it's not uncommon in construction to have a nail break or split and need to be trimmed.


1. The sound is awful. I don't care when I'm out in the field, because it's too loud and usually one nail. All ten sitting at a quiet desk is different.

2. I inherited a desk where the guy clipped his nails and KEPT them in the desk.


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## Road Guy (Oct 22, 2014)




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## engineergurl (Oct 22, 2014)

csb said:


> Dexman PE PMP said:
> 
> 
> > Why are people grossed out about trimming nails? I don't do it, but have never been bothered by coworkers who did.
> ...


I think I remember this story from somewhere for some reason


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## csb (Oct 22, 2014)

Were we playing Jeopardy and the category was "Nasty Ass Things"?


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## Ship Wreck PE (Oct 22, 2014)

They need to outlaw spring loaded staplers.


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## Supe (Oct 22, 2014)

snickerd3 said:


> take your damn scentsy home! the rest of us don't want to be smelling pumpkin spice or whatever your scent of the day selection is.






This. Pumpkin spice, lavender, whatever - they all make me dive for my inhaler.


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## Dark Knight (Oct 22, 2014)

Am surprised no one has mentioned a word about not farting in the cubicle...or maybe I did read too fast through the thread. These are the moments when we always counted on VT to say something.


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## snickerd3 (Oct 22, 2014)

you were reading too fast...but it always can use another mention about not doing that in your cube.


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## snickerd3 (Oct 22, 2014)

if you are coughing so hard you start to heave it is time to go home.


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## Supe (Oct 22, 2014)

I loved farting in my cube. It was the best way to keep visits from the casual coworker to a bare minimum.


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## Supe (Oct 22, 2014)

snickerd3 said:


> if you are coughing so hard you start to heave it is time to go home.




There's a woman at work we refer to as "one lung". We're pretty sure she has been fighting the plague.


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## Ramnares P.E. (Oct 22, 2014)

Plus farting covers up the scent of the pumpkin spice, lavender etc.


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## matt267 PE (Oct 22, 2014)

^this is true.


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## Supe (Oct 22, 2014)

Maybe I need to fart, nuke some fish, and start clipping my nails in my office. I think that may be the trifecta that keeps everyone out indefinitely.


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## MA_PE (Oct 22, 2014)

Supe said:


> Maybe I need to fart, nuke some fish, and start clipping my nails in my office. I think that may be the trifecta that keeps everyone out indefinitely.


the heck with....just vomit that'll keep 'em away.


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## NJmike PE (Oct 22, 2014)

Supe said:


> I loved farting in my cube. It was the best way to keep visits from the casual coworker to a bare minimum.


the only problem with farting in the cube is sometimes it becomes a shart. all hail fudgey


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## MetsFan (Oct 22, 2014)

One of the places I worked at outlawed microwave popcorn.

There was this one guy who I worked with a while back who was a close talker. He would come into my cube and bend over so his head was at my ear and say "what'cha doing?"


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## Wolverine (Oct 22, 2014)

DO NOT M#&amp;*^% F)#&amp;*%#^&amp;* TOUCH ME!

Any of youse guys touch my stuff... and I'll kill you.

Any of you ho-mos touch me... and I'll kill you.







Seriously though... I'm a dude. You're a dude. Don't touch me.


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## Road Guy (Oct 22, 2014)

I concur on the popcorn ban, nothing worse than cranking out work at 3 PM and some dipshit stinks up the entire office with popcorn..


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## FLBuff PE (Oct 22, 2014)

Wolverine said:


> DO NOT M#&amp;*^% F)#&amp;*%#^&amp;* TOUCH ME!
> 
> Any of youse guys touch my stuff... and I'll kill you.
> 
> ...


Settle down, Francis.


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## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 22, 2014)

I don't care if you smoke, just don't come into my cube immediately after burning one. Especially if you see food on my desk because I'm eating and you f*cking reek.


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## Road Guy (Oct 22, 2014)

Someone once stole my vodka out of my cube desk drawer


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## NJmike PE (Oct 22, 2014)

Road Guy said:


> Someone once stole my vodka out of my cube desk drawer


shit would get real


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## knight1fox3 (Oct 22, 2014)

snickerd3 said:


> if you are coughing so hard you start to heave it is time to go home.


LOL, there's a guy that sits not too far away that I think this about. Dude, maybe it's time to see a doctor.


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## goodal (Oct 22, 2014)

I must admit, i am eating a can of tuna now. Note that I didn't nuke it, so the smell is limited to my breath, but it does smell like cat food.


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## csb (Oct 22, 2014)

I find it easier to fart in a cube in the middle of the cube farm. If you fart in your office and someone walks in, it's pretty hard to blame that sucker on someone else.


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## Dexman PE PMP (Oct 22, 2014)

One must learn the art of cropdusting if they are to properly fart at work.


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## aog (Oct 31, 2014)

^ :Locolaugh:


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## NJmike PE (Nov 6, 2014)




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## knight1fox3 (Nov 6, 2014)

^ is that EG?


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## NJmike PE (Nov 6, 2014)

that or csb


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## engineergurl (Nov 6, 2014)

you guys have a very low opinion of CSB and myself considering how many poor looking pictures you ask that question of.


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## knight1fox3 (Nov 6, 2014)

engineergurl said:


> you guys have a very low opinion of CSB and myself considering how many poor looking pictures you ask that question of.


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## engineergurl (Nov 6, 2014)

i see a rectangle with a broken cartoon photo in it


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## knight1fox3 (Nov 6, 2014)

engineergurl said:


> i see a rectangle with a broken cartoon photo in it


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## engineergurl (Nov 6, 2014)

so is that what the original photo was, or are you claiming I am fibbing?


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## csb (Nov 6, 2014)

Same picture.

And I'll claim that f-you attitude.


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## engineergurl (Nov 6, 2014)

csb said:


> Same picture.
> 
> And I'll claim that f-you attitude.




I'm okay with the attitude, the facial expressions I would rather not


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## MA_PE (Nov 6, 2014)

csb said:


> Same picture.
> 
> And I'll claim that f-you attitude.


f'n right you will.


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## knight1fox3 (Nov 6, 2014)

I was referring to the attitude.


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## csb (Apr 3, 2015)

I was in a meeting last week where there were just four of us around a conference room table. A guy takes out his clippers and cuts ALL of his nails, letting all the clippings fall on the floor.

1. Still nasty

2. Not the time

3. Nor the place

4. I suppose if his DNA has to weave itself into the carpet there are worse ways for it to get there.


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## MA_PE (Apr 3, 2015)

during the meeting? that's just wrong.


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## csb (Apr 3, 2015)

During the meeting. Like the rest of us are actively talking about the issue at hand.


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## frazil (Apr 3, 2015)

dude! That's gross.


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## MA_PE (Apr 3, 2015)

WTF. I think I might report that to HR as a hostile, disruptive work environment. It's sad when you have to explicitly tell people about common courtesy.


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## csb (Apr 3, 2015)




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## csb (Apr 3, 2015)

Who did he expect was going to clean that up? That's the main thing that got me. Sure, we have cleaning crews, but they aren't there to PICK UP YOUR NASTY FINGERNAILS.

I feel sometimes at work we could use a hygiene course.


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## roadwreck (Apr 3, 2015)

On a certain level you almost have to admire the guy. I mean it takes a serious level of "I don't give a fuck" to do that in a meeting.


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## Dexman PE PMP (Apr 3, 2015)

And no fucks were given that day.


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## MA_PE (Apr 3, 2015)

so you're saying being the best at anything deserves admiration. and this is guy is the best at being a disgusting d-bag.



roadwreck said:


> On a certain level you almost have to admire the guy. I mean it takes a serious level of "I don't give a fuck" to do that in a meeting.


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## iwire (Apr 3, 2015)

no porn unless you shared


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## SNAPE/SMOTT PE (Apr 5, 2015)

How about not talking about the person sitting next to you...they aren't real walls!


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## SNAPE/SMOTT PE (Apr 5, 2015)

Office politics abound where I work.


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## Lumber Jim (Apr 5, 2015)

I'm not good at office politics...


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## iwire (Apr 6, 2015)

NJmike PE said:


> This is probably a bad idea and will get you reported to HR.


nice rack


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## P-E (Apr 6, 2015)

We're going to the open office layout. Some of the women are choosing to stand and work. Im assuming it is bad form to stare at their chest above my computer.


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## Ken PE 3.1 (Apr 6, 2015)

Perhaps


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## NJmike PE (Apr 6, 2015)

Depends. High heels and a mini skirt are a nice alternative.


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## MechE_in_PA_PE (Apr 6, 2015)

Road Guy said:


> I like to leave my office and go to the cube dwellers and complain about how quiet and hot it is in my office


Please tell me about how cold it is next to your window seat as well...


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## engineergurl (Jul 23, 2015)

I just walked by one of the older ladies plucking chin hairs in her cubicle, I somehow am not sure which is worse, fingernails or chin hair...


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## Ramnares P.E. (Jul 23, 2015)

engineergurl said:


> I just walked by one of the older ladies plucking chin hairs in her cubicle, I somehow am not sure which is worse, fingernails or chin hair...




At least it wasn't pubic...


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## csb (Jul 26, 2015)

Crap. I just realized I'm an older lady.


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## Road Guy (Jul 26, 2015)

Well make sure you get a phone with the big buttons in it....


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## csb (Jul 27, 2015)




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## Supe (Jul 27, 2015)




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## csb (Jul 27, 2015)

I like to think the "operator" button is just really "your kids" button.


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## MA_PE (Jul 27, 2015)

is that a phone or a Dr. Scholls insole pad?


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## Road Guy (Jul 27, 2015)

Operator! What's the number for 911?


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## kevo_55 (Jul 27, 2015)

What happens if you have more than one kid? Don't you need more than one button for that?


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## csb (Jul 27, 2015)

My experience is there's only one taxed with being the tech support kid.


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## Supe (May 31, 2016)

Sunday's Dilbert...

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-05-29


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## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 7, 2016)

New office has one of those "open" style cubicle layouts. Wasn't too bad, but like any typical first day I was too busy to really get a chance to get settled.


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