# How do snakes masturbate?



## Fudgey (Jun 1, 2007)

I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.


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## roadwreck (Jun 1, 2007)

Fudgey said:


> I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.


Ummm...

...fudgey, I don't think snakes are alone here. Aside from primates there aren't to many species in the animal kingdom that can get away with that act. I mean can you imagine trying to do the deed with a hoof? Yikes!

I guess dogs lick themselves, but I don't want to open that can of worms (I guess I already have).

Hooray for the opposable thumb!!


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## jfusilloPE (Jun 1, 2007)

Fudgey said:


> I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.


I have heard that reason that the tyranosauras rex was always so pissed off was because he had those short stubby arms and couldn't masterbater either


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## MA_PE (Jun 1, 2007)

Fudgey said:


> I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.


Why do you think they're wriggling/rubbling against everything in sight?


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## Dark Knight (Jun 1, 2007)

Fudgey said:


> I mean it has no arms and as far as I can tell it has no thingy either? Snakes have got to be the most horny of animals ever. I bet itching is also a pain for snakes. Runny noses proably not much fun either.


Well, that is a change. From smelly stories to masturbating stories. Keep it up Fudgemaster. Just when I thought Fudgey could not surprise me anymore....


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 1, 2007)

I think this article will point you in the right direction Fudger.


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## Hill William (Jun 1, 2007)

VTEnviro said:


> I think this article will point you in the right direction Fudger.



Spines or hooks for anchoring, wow.


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## FusionWhite (Jun 1, 2007)

If your penis had spines or hooks on it would you even WANT to masterbate?


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## Dark Knight (Jun 1, 2007)

"Only one is used at a time, and some evidence indicates males alternate use between copulations."

Don't know about you guys but I think it has to be great to be able to do that. They can alternate between them. Wao...that is cool. Can you imagine that?

He: "We are not done yet Honey. I still have another one that have not used tonight."

She: :bio:


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## GCracker (Jun 1, 2007)

:bio:

I think this thread is head for the hall of fame!


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 1, 2007)

Luis said:


> He: "We are not done yet Honey. I still have another one that have not used tonight."She: :bio:


Here's the thing. You've got two of just about everything else - arms, eyes, kidneys, etc. But only one...uh...fun part. Having two might be cool.


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## cement (Jun 1, 2007)

I don't know how your life works, but if I came at the old lady with that spiky looking thing, It would be :bio: X 2


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## DVINNY (Jun 1, 2007)

Aw hell, I'm married, I don't get to use the ONE enough, I'd really be pissed off all the time if I had TWO to take care of.


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## SuperAlpha (Jun 2, 2007)

my brother's dog "loves" his blanket.....twists it up into a ball and mounts it....several times per day...


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## MA_PE (Jun 2, 2007)

SuperAlpha said:


> my brother's dog "loves" his blanket.....twists it up into a ball and mounts it....several times per day...


you sound ticked off, doesn't he share? j/k


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 2, 2007)

Damn - MA bringing the pure pwnage!

B) :bio:


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## Dleg (Jun 3, 2007)

I hate to break it to you Fudgey, but it appears snakes just aren't smart enough to masturbate.







Here's a great little excerpt from Answers.com that will answer many of the other questions posed on this thread, such as how goats masturbate:



> Autoeroticism (masturbation)
> It appears that many animals, both male and female, masturbate, both when partners are available and otherwise.
> 
> For example, http://www.petplace.com comments in its guide on assessing potential breeding stock purchases: "Masturbation is a normal behavior in all stallions that does not reduce semen production or performance in the breeding shed, and thus the use of devices to prevent such behavior is strongly discouraged and can be harmful to the stallion." [5]Likewise the paper "Sexual Behavior - Current Topics in Applied Ethology and Clinical Methods" by Sue McDonnell of the Equine Behavior Laboratory, University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine states:
> ...


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 4, 2007)

Yeah, but aren't the hall of fame posts the ones that keep on getting the attention? Like the exam pencil thread.

If you limit access, it will slow it down. Maybe once the thread is pretty much dead anyway?

Another vote for the HoF is the infamous sandwich thread from pi:


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## redrum (Jun 4, 2007)

word


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## MA_PE (Jun 4, 2007)

VTEnviro said:


> Yeah, but aren't the hall of fame posts the ones that keep on getting the attention? Like the exam pencil thread.
> If you limit access, it will slow it down. Maybe once the thread is pretty much dead anyway?
> 
> Another vote for the HoF is the infamous sandwich thread from :"the other board":


I miss the power of being able to a thread deleted by posting the lunch menu. :asthanos:


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## Road Guy (Jun 5, 2007)

I cant even post that much at ppi, it comes up as a "shopping site" and our nazi websense limits us to 1 hour a month...


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 13, 2007)

Apparently, this is how a monkey...uh...spanks the monkey.

Wanking Monkey


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## NY-Computer-Engineer (Jul 3, 2018)

I really can't believe I was curious enough to venture into this thread hmy:


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