# Would a centaur do this?



## Fudgey (Oct 2, 2007)

Here's what I'm wondering. Let's say a centaur (half man/half horse) does its business. Does it wipe itself off afterwards?

For one thing, it would have to reach pretty far, which I imagine could be more trouble than its worth. Come to think of it I don't even think it could all the way back to its horse butt with its man hands.

And besides, horses don't wipe up afterwards anyway crapping, so I bet the centaur would get some slack in that department.


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## Dleg (Oct 2, 2007)

:dunno:

Maybe the answer lies in the question of what a unicorn would do. The way I figure it, a unicorn horn would have approximately the same reach as a centaur's arm.

But now that I think about it, maybe the centaurs help each other out? I mean, they've obviously got a human-like brain, considering they have a human head, and therefore we should expect them to care simiarly about their personal hygiene. In other words, Fudgey, I don't think we should be giving centaurs any "slack" in the butt-wiping department.


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## Dleg (Oct 2, 2007)

Here's a conceptual drawing I made of how the unicorn method might (or might not) work:







View attachment 3389


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## Guest (Oct 2, 2007)

^^^ I am totally printing that and putting it up on my refrigerator door !! :laugh:


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## cement (Oct 2, 2007)

^^ you must be on a diet!


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## Dleg (Oct 3, 2007)

Gee, thanks! I take pride in my artistic abilities.


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## DVINNY (Oct 3, 2007)

Dleg,

you deserve an award for that. Great job, and didn't know you had such skillz


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## Dark Knight (Oct 3, 2007)

Hall Of Fame material??????


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## Hill William (Oct 3, 2007)

.


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## bigray76 (Oct 3, 2007)

BringItOn said:


> Hall Of Fame material??????


After seeing Dlegs sketch (which I have also sent to a number of my friends), I have to second that motion BIO!

-Ray


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 3, 2007)

DLeg, that looks like a 75% plan set. When can we expect the 95% version we can submit?


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## Guest (Oct 3, 2007)

Hall of Fame vote #3 here !!

JR


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## roadwreck (Oct 3, 2007)

Okay, next question. How does the unicorn clean his horn after this procedure?


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## Capt Worley PE (Oct 3, 2007)

Wipes it on the centaur's fur, duh!


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 3, 2007)

wouldn't that poke more holes in the centaur though?


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## bigray76 (Oct 3, 2007)

^^^Not if the unicorn only would move his head back, not forward, while wiping off the horn.

If he is lucky, he could get the centaur to spit on his horn to help clean it off, or the centaur could use his arms to wipe off the horn with a towel.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 3, 2007)

> or the centaur could use his arms to wipe off the horn with a towel.


WINNER! :multiplespotting:

Now this is HOF worthy.


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## Dleg (Oct 3, 2007)

If you couldn't see it DIAZWV, here's the original microsoft paint file.

VT - what the hell are you talking about 75%??? That there is a 100% final, approved for construction!

Edit: Holy shit! The bmp is 900 kb! WTF!!!!!! Mods - please feel free to delete and I will upload the jpeg, which is only 24 kb [SIZE=8pt](I deleted it myself - no point to having it on here).[/SIZE]


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## Dleg (Oct 3, 2007)

bigray76 said:


> or the centaur could use his arms to wipe off the horn with a towel.


Now, the question becomes "How does the unicorn wipe its own ass?"


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## Dleg (Oct 3, 2007)

Upon further reflection, I think I have answered my own question:

View attachment 2799


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## Dleg (Oct 4, 2007)

^^THAT is awesome! :lmao:


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## Dleg (Oct 4, 2007)

I'm not sure if I'll have much time to check in tomorrow, so I'll post the answer to the inevitable question of:

"So, now how does the hyrda clean the poop off her snake hair?"

(Or is she a Medusa? I can't remember. Thank God they didn't test us for ancient Greek mythology on the PE exam).

I believe this completes the trilogy.

View attachment 2800


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## frazil (Oct 4, 2007)

unbelievable... :Locolaugh: dleg, you have some mad skillz!!


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## bigray76 (Oct 4, 2007)

Dleg said:


> Now, the question becomes "How does the unicorn wipe its own ass?"


I was going to say that the centaur wiped the unicorn's ass after he cleaned off the horn.

Would you really want to decapitate medusa's head if the snakes were all covered in shit? You may want to wear gloves if that is your plan, right?


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 4, 2007)

Dleg said:


> Upon further reflection, I think I have answered my own question:


I don't buy this one DLeg. I gotta figure that the snake's on the hydra's head are your run of the mill garter snake. I bet they are probably some pretty pissed off venmous fuckers. If subjected to being used as TP for a unicorn, I'd imagine they'd bite it and poison it. As much as I'd wanna get shit off my appendages, it just ain't worth dying over.


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## frazil (Oct 4, 2007)




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## Guest (Oct 4, 2007)

^^^ Awesome !!! lusone: :Locolaugh: :Locolaugh:

JR


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## roadwreck (Oct 4, 2007)

VTEnviro said:


> I don't buy this one DLeg. I gotta figure that the snake's on the hydra's head are your run of the mill garter snake. I bet they are probably some pretty pissed off venmous fuckers. If subjected to being used as TP for a unicorn, I'd imagine they'd bite it and poison it. As much as I'd wanna get shit off my appendages, it just ain't worth dying over.


Ah, but if we learned anything from Harry Potter and the Scourer's (or Philosopher's if you are in Europe) Stone, it was that unicorn blood was magical and could keep you alive even if you were an inch from death. So one could reasonably presume that venom from a snake would not travel through the bloodstream of a unicorn, and thus the "Hydra-head toilet paper" would be feasible.

(Do I win nerd of the day honors for whipping out the Harry Potter reference?)


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## Slugger926 (Oct 4, 2007)

Why not have T-shirts created at CafePress?


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## Guest (Oct 4, 2007)

roadwreck said:


> (Do I win nerd of the day honors for whipping out the Harry Potter reference?)


Winner !!!!!!!!!! :multiplespotting: :multiplespotting:

JR


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## RatBlaster (Oct 4, 2007)

Centaurs are mythical creatures. Mythical creatures don't poop.


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## bigray76 (Oct 4, 2007)

RatBlaster said:


> Centaurs are mythical creatures. Mythical creatures don't poop.



To quote a wise man, a wastewater treatment plant tech, I met once on a college field trip:

"As long as people eat, people shit"

If a centaur ate what I would assume is a high fiber diet, mythical or not, he would eventually need to shit - unless his digestive system was such that there was no waste from the digestion process.... which I guess could be possible if we are dealing with a mythical creature.

Interesting point there RatBlaster.


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## roadwreck (Oct 4, 2007)

jregieng said:


> Winner !!!!!!!!!! :multiplespotting: :multiplespotting:
> JR


Funny thing is, I just realized that the character in Harry Potter that informs us that unicorn blood can save you 'even if you are an inch from death' was Firenze the centaur, providing further evidence that centaurs are well aware of the unicorns immunity to snake venom, and all but proving the Hydra-head toilet paper theory. 



> Centaurs are mythical creatures. Mythical creatures don't poop.





> "As long as people eat, people shit"


Perhaps mythical creatures don't eat and as such do not poop.

Such an assumption is preposterous however as if this were the case then this topic would be totally ludicrous, and why would people as intelligent as a message board full of engineers waste time discussing something totally implausible?


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## Fudgey (Oct 4, 2007)

allow Fudgey to present the following tale



> Ella and the PottyWhen Ella was a little unicorn her mommy did everything for her. Like all little babies, she was helpless. She needed her mother's milk to grow and she needed her mommy to tuck her into bed. She needed her mommy to change her diapers and give her baths. She needed her daddy to carry her places and to play with her.
> 
> Then Ella started to grow. She got bigger and stronger and smarter everyday. By the time she was one she could walk and talk. She could giggle and play games. Now she could move around the house by herself and find all sorts of things to do. She still needed her mommy to give her food and change her diaper and sing songs with her and tuck her into bed. But she could decide what to eat from her plate and when she was full. She did notice that sometimes her diaper was wet or smelly and her bottom got sore if Mommy or Daddy didn't change it. Most of the time she didn't think about her pee or poop too much.
> 
> ...


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## cement (Oct 4, 2007)

shouldn't you be studying dude?


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## FusionWhite (Oct 4, 2007)

I cant believe I read all that. I feel very......dirty


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## Dleg (Oct 4, 2007)

That was creepy. But I suppose it serves as proof that unicorns do, in fact, eat and crap.

But the rest of this thread is awesome. It's taken on a life of its own.

My favorite line so far:



bigray76 said:


> If a centaur ate what I would assume is a high fiber diet...


Good assumption!


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 5, 2007)

> and why would people as intelligent as a message board full of engineers waste time discussing something totally implausible?


Otherwise we'd be sitting in our office designing something totally implausible.


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## roadwreck (Oct 5, 2007)

VTEnviro said:


> Otherwise we'd be sitting in our office cubicles designing something totally implausible.


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## Capt Worley PE (Oct 5, 2007)

VTEnviro said:


> Otherwise we'd be sitting in our office designing something totally implausible.


Or designing something with foolish amounts of horsepower...

&lt;finishes BOV placement for a quad turbo flat twelve&gt;


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## bigray76 (Oct 5, 2007)

VTEnviro said:


> Otherwise we'd be sitting in our office designing something totally implausible.


...or actually doing some real work instead of posting here!


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## roadwreck (Oct 5, 2007)

bigray76 said:


> ...or actually doing some real work instead of posting here!


oh don't be ridiculous.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 5, 2007)

Our CAD guy took the day off today, so I am doing some drafting for a site plan we want to submit next week. I am laying in existing utility lines based on old as builts right now. I forgot how tedious and mundane this shit gets.


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## Dleg (Oct 5, 2007)

I suggest you take a break and provide us with a diagram of how a unicorn would clean the poop and blood off its horn.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 6, 2007)

^ Site clean up plan?


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## FusionWhite (Oct 8, 2007)

Dleg said:


> I suggest you take a break and provide us with a diagram of how a unicorn would clean the poop and blood off its horn.


The centaur wipes off the horn with a jackalope.


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## DVINNY (Oct 8, 2007)

FusionWhite said:


> The centaur wipes off the horn with a jackalope.


^^^ Nice twist


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 8, 2007)

I honestly thought they were real until the first time I visited the Rockies. :true:


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## Guest (Oct 9, 2007)

Ooohhhh ...




and





JR


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Oct 9, 2007)

:bowdown:

ZOMG!!


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## Guest (Nov 9, 2007)

Wow .. someone is trying to upstage Dleg ...






JR


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## testee (Nov 9, 2007)

Whoa! just wait till PE-ness getsa load of that!!


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Nov 10, 2007)

jregieng said:


> Wow .. someone is trying to upstage Dleg ...
> 
> 
> JR


Why isn't this in the HOF yet?


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## Sschell (Jan 11, 2010)

bump


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jan 11, 2010)

Did you take a dump on a centaur today or something?


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## Sschell (Jan 11, 2010)

no.... I just thought I'd lend the guy a hand...


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## wilheldp_PE (Jan 11, 2010)

Wow...this one was before my time. Priceless.


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## MA_PE (Jan 11, 2010)

would a centaur wear a snuggie out in public?


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## Supe (Jan 11, 2010)

MA_PE said:


> would a centaur wear a snuggie out in public?



I don't see why not. Given the large backside, it's the ideal garb.


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## snickerd3 (May 13, 2010)

i can't see hte dleg original anymore but I just had to bump for some comic relief today


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## Chucktown PE (May 13, 2010)

Dleg hasn't incorporated a centaur into his story yet. I bet that's coming soon.


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## FLBuff PE (May 13, 2010)

DV is a unicorn in the story...


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## Chucktown PE (May 13, 2010)

come on man, get your chef's hat out of your a$$. a unicorn and a centaur are not the same thing.


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## FLBuff PE (May 13, 2010)

Chucktown PE said:


> come on man, get your chef's hat out of your a$$. a unicorn and a centaur are not the same thing.


Go back and read the thread. A centaur teams with a unicorn, using the unicorn's horn to wipe his ass.


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## Chucktown PE (May 13, 2010)

FLBuff PE said:


> Chucktown PE said:
> 
> 
> > come on man, get your chef's hat out of your a$$. a unicorn and a centaur are not the same thing.
> ...


I understand that in Fudgey's mind this was the scenario up for consideration.

What I said, was that Dleg hasn't incorporated a centaur into his story....yet. While DV is a unicorn, unicorns are not centaurs. So my original statement is correct.


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## FLBuff PE (May 13, 2010)

Chucktown PE said:


> FLBuff PE said:
> 
> 
> > Chucktown PE said:
> ...


And I was just trying to put it out there that when Dleg introduces the centaur, I think I know how DV will fit intothe story.


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## Chucktown PE (May 13, 2010)

FLBuff PE said:


> Chucktown PE said:
> 
> 
> > FLBuff PE said:
> ...


Gotcha. Sorry for the confusion. And sorry that DV is going to be wiping a centaur's ass. That seems beneath him.


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## Sschell (May 13, 2010)

FLBuff PE said:


> I think I know how DV will *fit into* the story.


LOLOLOLOPLOLOLLLOLOLOLOOOLOLLOLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Dleg (May 13, 2010)

No comment. But, I updated my original post so you can see the image now.


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## dastuff (May 14, 2010)

Awesome.. This was the precursor to the "charlie goes to candy mountain" video series i'm sure.


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## Capt Worley PE (Apr 25, 2013)




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## Dexman PE PMP (May 23, 2013)

What about reverse centaur?


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## Sapper PE LS (Jan 4, 2015)

I'm worried our newest members haven't read this thread yet.


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## csb (Jan 9, 2015)




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## Lumber Jim (Jan 9, 2015)

Supe said:


> QUOTE (MA_PE @ Jan 11 2010, 12:57 PM) &lt;{POST_SNAPBACK}&gt;would a centaur wear a snuggie out in public?I don't see why not. Given the large backside, it's the ideal garb.


Yoga pants.


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