# I got another date!



## Fudgey (Jun 1, 2012)

After a couple years of striking out, the Fudgeman has himself another date lined up for this evening. I struck up a conversation while getting my car worked on with a lovely woman who works for an accounting firm. I went for it and asked her out, and to my surprise, she said yes!

We are going to some fancy new tapas place that opened up here recently. I'd be happy with pizza and beer, so it's trendy, so what the hell.

I've been putting in a lot of extra house lately, so I am going to take the day off. First thing I am going to do is shave everything from the waist down in case things get spicy tonight. I haven't had a date in a while, so the manscaping will take some time.

As some of the old timers here may remember, my last serious relationship was marred by one or two excretory indiscretions, so I need to find something for lunch that will really clean me out before tonight. You know, the classic pre-game dump! I would really prefer not to have any accidents around this gal. Any suggestions?

Also, what about flowers? Classy or pushy?

Any advice would be appreciated.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 1, 2012)

Fudgey - you're a fiend around the ladies.

As for lunch, I recommend a corn and Maalox smoothie.

Also, don't leave the house with a loaded weapon.


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## Krakosky (Jun 1, 2012)

I've read your other relationship thread and an looking forward to actually being around for this one. I'm an EB noob, but I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say welcome back! As for flowers, I recommend gerber daisies; they're beautiful and fun but not over the top. Good luck!


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## Dark Knight (Jun 1, 2012)

Fudge Master, I would suggest drinking 7UP, or anything with lemon to protect yourself against excretory(sic) events. Also, and very important, check out VT's last line advice. That is very important, specially if you have not fired the gun in a while.

And by the way, let me introduce you to Krak...

Krak - Fudgey

Fudgey - Krak

I think you too would make a heck of a couple.


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## Master slacker (Jun 1, 2012)

I don't think a Fudgey Krak would be too pleasant...

Anywho, drink mad amounts of coffee this morning to flush out ye olde conveyor belt o' poo. And fire off a few rounds before the date as mentioned already. Sucks having to execute the "poner" at dinner.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 1, 2012)

And no AC Slatering on the first date. If you have to go, use classic mode.

Fudgey - as a newly single guy with no prospects, I'm relying on living vicariously through you this summer. Make it happen!


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## Chucktown PE (Jun 1, 2012)

Welcome back Fudgemeister.

I would recommend that you eat a diet high in fiber today and take a laxative at around 2:00. Then at 6:00 you'll need to take two Immodium-AD. I think that will probably stop you up.

Good luck.


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## Chucktown PE (Jun 1, 2012)

And I second VT's comment, no exotic stuff when using the restroom for the first 12 months of this relationship. Go to the bathroom, do your business (facing forward), and get out.


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## Master slacker (Jun 1, 2012)

Speaking of poo, why don't animated avatars work anymore?


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 1, 2012)

I miss ODB and Squishles in topics like these.


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## engineergurl (Jun 1, 2012)

Welcome back Fudgeman... listen to the guys and do the opposite.

I miss Squish!


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## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 1, 2012)

Chipotle or Qdoba burrito with extra spicy salsa. Maybe add a spoonful of the corn salsa too.

Welcome back fudge man!


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## YMZ PE (Jun 1, 2012)

Welcome back Fudgey!

You can kill two birds with one stone and tweeze everything from the waist down instead of shaving. The pain will make you puke, and that should trigger some loosening action in a different part of the tummy. I tried this once, but couldn't stop sneezing. I don't know what it is with me and tweezers.


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## Supe (Jun 1, 2012)

A light lunch should help. I would recommend cuttlefish and asparagus.


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## YMZ PE (Jun 1, 2012)

^ Yeah, definitely not the vanilla pudding.


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## Kephart P.E. (Jun 1, 2012)

Keep it simple at dinner Fudgey, those tapas dishes can be very rich.


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## Krakosky (Jun 1, 2012)

Save the spice for in the bedroom!


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## Chucktown PE (Jun 1, 2012)

Fudgey needs no help in that department. He likes to share what he eats with his lovers.


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## envirotex (Jun 1, 2012)

Krakosky said:


> I've read your other relationship thread and an looking forward to actually being around for this one. I'm an EB noob, but I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say welcome back! As for flowers, I recommend gerber daisies; they're beautiful and fun but not over the top. Good luck!


Gerbera daisies are my favorite.



YMZ PE said:


> Welcome back Fudgey!
> 
> You can kill two birds with one stone and tweeze everything from the waist down instead of shaving. The pain will make you puke, and that should trigger some loosening action in a different part of the tummy. I tried this once, but couldn't stop sneezing. I don't know what it is with me and tweezers.


Threading. Although, I can't imagine a brazilian would be all that pleasant with that technique.


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## Krakosky (Jun 1, 2012)

So what'd you decide on for lunch? And don't forget the gerber daisies! At least one.


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## blybrook PE (Jun 1, 2012)

Dark Knight said:


> ...
> 
> And by the way, let me introduce you to Krak...
> 
> ...


Fudgey vs Tank Ass.... That could be a battle in itself.

Convention Discussion material right there


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## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 1, 2012)

blybrook PE said:


> Dark Knight said:
> 
> 
> > ...
> ...


Potential HOF discussion right there.


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## Dark Knight (Jun 1, 2012)

Well, as it happens all the time I was misunderstood.

Krak and Fudgeman are two single young engineers with a heck of a sense of humor. That is the only reason I said they would make a heck of a couple. I have known Fudgey for a few years now and kind of know how he is. Krak (was going to call her Tanky) is more of a mystery to me but so far I like her. She is funny as heck. Those two seemed to be the one for the other. If only Fudgey can control his excretory issues....


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## Chucktown PE (Jun 1, 2012)

Fudgey wins the battle.

Fudgey could be employed to make chemical weapons from what I've read. I would hope no woman on earth is capable of what he is.


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## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 1, 2012)

I have yet to hear of a 5 gallon job-site bucket capable of handling fudgey...


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## blybrook PE (Jun 1, 2012)

He probably needs those 6 gallon mega buckets


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## Chucktown PE (Jun 1, 2012)

He needs a 55 gallon drum.


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## engineergurl (Jun 1, 2012)

I actually thought of Fudgey this weekend, my husband and I were discussing the "endless wipe"


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## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 1, 2012)

^^^As opposed to the ghost poo


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## engineergurl (Jun 1, 2012)

ooo, that is one I haven't heard of...

Edit: never mind...


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## blybrook PE (Jun 1, 2012)

Fudgey does have good stories; this encounter will probably be yet another


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## Dexman PE PMP (Jun 1, 2012)

A ghost poo is where you feel one come out and hear it splash down, but when you get up the bowl is empty and the TP comes up clean.


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## blybrook PE (Jun 1, 2012)

Ah, the mysterious ghost poo... Would rather have one of those than the endless wipe


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## Master slacker (Jun 1, 2012)

I've always known the "endless wipes" as Sharpie sh*ts. Just keeping passing that TP over a Sharpie and it'll eventually run out of ink.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 2, 2012)

Come on Fudgey, we want to hear how it went.


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## YMZ PE (Jun 2, 2012)

^ +1


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2012)

Wow Fudgey,

I can't believe you haven't found the right girl yet! I mean, I remember a few of your more memorable dates but you haven't found a keeper yet?

I also want to hear more about this date! I think I am going to need some tips ... I suspect I will be back in the dating pool soon myself. :bananalama:


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## Krakosky (Jun 2, 2012)

^ come join us, the water's just fine.


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2012)

^^^ Well, I have one toe in the water .... I just need some tips and advice for how to woo the ladies. Despite Fudgey's lack of gastrointestinal fortitude, he still seems to do farily well with the opposite sex. I am just looking for help in getting started. All advice is welcome.


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## RIP - VTEnviro (Jun 2, 2012)

Krakosky said:


> ^ come join us, the water's just fine.


Don't tempt Fudgey, he may be thinking of 'dropping the kids off' at the pool with that sort of talk.


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## pbrme (Jun 4, 2012)

Date update? Let me guess, it ended like $h!t?


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## Chucktown PE (Jun 4, 2012)

jregieng said:


> ^^^ Well, I have one toe in the water .... I just need some tips and advice for how to woo the ladies. Despite Fudgey's lack of gastrointestinal fortitude, he still seems to do farily well with the opposite sex. I am just looking for help in getting started. All advice is welcome.


What happened with the Mrs.? EB.com seems to be a matrimonial nightmare these days. I might go on another hiatus.


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## ElCid03 (Jun 15, 2012)

Chucktown PE said:


> jregieng said:
> 
> 
> > ^^^ Well, I have one toe in the water .... I just need some tips and advice for how to woo the ladies. Despite Fudgey's lack of gastrointestinal fortitude, he still seems to do farily well with the opposite sex. I am just looking for help in getting started. All advice is welcome.
> ...


It's like all hell broke loose in the marriage department since I last logged in. We need something to cleanse the shakra of this site.


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## Guest (Jun 15, 2012)

Chucktown PE said:


> What happened with the Mrs.? EB.com seems to be a matrimonial nightmare these days. I might go on another hiatus.


Wow - sorry I missed your question!

Mrs. JR and I are separated - she moved back to Florida and I am still living/working in Michigan. I can't point to one thing that went wrong - I don't think I gave that relationship enough time to mature to see how some of our interactions might play out. I wouldn't say there is a whole lot of drama or anything. Sometimes even two well-intentioned people cannot make a marriage work.



ElCid03 said:


> It's like all hell broke loose in the marriage department since I last logged in. We need something to cleanse the shakra of this site.


Well, if I may offer one of the hallmarks of things gone wrong. Mrs. JR complained that I spent too much time at work/with work.

While I don't disagree that I was working AT LEAST 50 hrs/week on any given week, my travel schedule never kept me away from home for more than a few days and I was always home on the weekends even if working from home. When I pointed this out to Mrs. JR and asked her, "what would have happened if I was still in the service and deploying like many of our friends and family? They don't get the benefit of dictating when/how long their spouse is gone with work."

Her response: I didn't marry someone in the servce.

I can say a lot more about this exchange ... but I think you get where it was headed ...


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## ElCid03 (Jun 24, 2012)

So any word on how the big date went? Was Beano involved?


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## Krakosky (Jun 25, 2012)

He's still on the toilet.


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## YMZ PE (Jun 25, 2012)

"If you experience an AC Slatering session that lasts longer than 4 hours, call your doctor."


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## Dark Knight (Jun 25, 2012)

It was probably a shitty date.


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## Guest (Jun 27, 2012)

Maybe he wasn't able to get his shit together fast enough for the next date?


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## Fudgey (Jul 6, 2012)

Nothing to report, had a couple of dates, there was no spark. Sorry guys.


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## roadwreck (Jul 6, 2012)

Fudgey said:


> Nothing to report, had a couple of dates, there was no spark. Sorry guys.


Thank God there was no spark! With all the flatulence a spark might have ignited the room.


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## envirotex (Jul 6, 2012)

Fudgey said:


> Nothing to report, had a couple of dates, there was no spark. Sorry guys.


Sorry. Next time maybe it will be the new potential Mrs. Fudgey.


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## wellsronald18 (Aug 21, 2012)

First of all Good luck to you! Give her white flower it is the symbol of Innocence and purity which will tell her that you are worthy for her.


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## YMZ PE (Aug 21, 2012)

^^ Best. reply. EVER.


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## maryannette (Mar 28, 2014)

Classic Fudgey!


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## knight1fox3 (Mar 28, 2014)

LOL


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