# Free Advice: Give or Take



## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Need advice? Ask for it here. (I'm always giving out advice, so just ask me.)

Got advice? Share it. It doesn't matter whether anybody asked for it or not!!!


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

How do I stop the itching?


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Stop it with a scratching utensil.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

If you lift the toilet seat, replace it when finished.


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Speaking of toilet seats, I have a strange opinion about the etiquette of raising and lowering. I think it is wrong for ladies to expect men to put the seat down. It seems inefficient to me.


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

Don't buy Zicam rapid melts. They taste horrific.


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Strange you should say that. I just had one. I've used Zicam for years and it seems to prevent me from getting sick. I agree the taste is horrific, but I hate having a cold.


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

They were recommended to me by a friend, but I'm desperate. I've got about 40% of Walgreens in me right now.

Don't consume 40% of Walgreens. It terrorizes your stomach.


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Be careful about mixing medications.


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

I'm sure I've mixed something I shouldn't have by now.

The fever is gone, the aching is mostly gone, the cough I can tolerate, but I can't inhale through my nose at all, and it feels more like inflammation than congestion.


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Anybody got advice to stop snoring?


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

Try shooting him a few times.


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

He starts snoring before he really gets to sleep. And, I would never consider shooting him. We've been married almost 29 years.


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

I'd think that'd be all the more reason.

Have you tried breathe right strips? How about that new mouth piece?


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Oh YES! We've tried everything. Mostly, I can fall asleep even when he is snoring now.


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

Might be worth while to have a sleep study done. Has he seen an ENT specialist?


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Oh yes. Sleep study: he does not have sleep apnea, but he snores VERY LOUD.

NO $H1T!!!!


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

Wow. Maybe I should have gone to med school.


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Is that a request for advice?


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

No, it's my way of saying: screw engineering. Go to med school, and specialize in sleep studies.

Either that, or be a weatherman.


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

Is "screw engineering" like fastener design?


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

mary:) said:


> Is "screw engineering" like fastener design?


Where can I go to major in screw engineering?


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## maryannette (Feb 17, 2009)

I think it is a specialty of mechanical.

I have heard many "lines" about screws in engineering. Have you ever heard of a sex bolt?


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## Supe (Feb 17, 2009)

Not in any context that's appropriate.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

I lost 85 lbs and it made me stop snoring.


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## Dleg (Feb 17, 2009)

I have a terribly sore throat. No other symptoms, just a sore throat. I went to see a doctor and he said it wasn't strep, so I just have to deal with it.

I am leaving on a trip tomorrow and I really need to cut the pain down so I can drink beers tomorrow night at the resort bar with my colleagues.

What do you recommend?


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## mudpuppy (Feb 17, 2009)

I recommend using Nyquil. It rocks.


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## Dleg (Feb 17, 2009)

Yeah, but how will that react with the plans for beers at the beach bar?


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

If the rash is oozing its bad, or just when the ooze is yellow?


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## mudpuppy (Feb 17, 2009)

Dleg said:


> Yeah, but how will that react with the plans for beers at the beach bar?


It will make things even better! If you can stay awake. . .


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## Dleg (Feb 17, 2009)

Someone at my office recommended eating a clove of raw garlic.

Somehow I don't think that will go over well at the table-top meetings I will be leading the next two days.


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## frazil (Feb 17, 2009)

I got a crappy haircut because my usual hairdresser stopped working there and a total personality dud cut my hair instead. What do I do??


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## Dleg (Feb 17, 2009)

Go for the Sinead O'Connor look


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## mudpuppy (Feb 17, 2009)

The Sinead O'Connor look is HOT. :GotPics:


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

for who? that Mini-me guy?


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

Dleg said:


> I went to see a doctor and he said it wasn't strep


Damn, doctors are lazy these days. Mary's husband's sleep doctor said it isn't sleep apnea and your doctor says it isn't strep. Yet neither of them seem to have given you any hints as to what IT ACTUALLY IS!


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

It is a bad case of the menges


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

Ah shit guys, I don't wanna get the 'thrax!


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

My wife was hospitalized a couple of years ago with viral meningitis, and I told the Doc that she caught a CASE OF THE MENGEES, the doc looked at me like I had two heads....

you had to be there


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

I've had lots of those moments at meetings at work. People don't understand my humor, and I don't care enough to change it.


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

I'm with ya. and for some reason I find comfort in their dis-comfort.

Is that so wrong?


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

Yes, but it's a lot of fun. And as long as I'm having fun, I could give a shit less how everybody else feels.


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

yup.

I think that's what is so funny about the Seinfeld series. It puts people in those situations.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

Have any weightlifting advice since you look like Dr. Universe? I just started another round of Bigger, Faster, Stronger...but only the upper body version (can't do squats any more...back issue).


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

Yes, but do squats.

Seriously, even if you don't do squats, always train the legs. They are a huge body part, and training big body parts will cause your body to release natural growth hormone, and everything else will grow, bodyfat will drop, etc. etc.

I tell guys, if you want bigger arms, then train legs.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

DVINNY said:


> Yes, but do squats.
> 
> 
> Seriously, even if you don't do squats, always train the legs. They are a huge body part, and training big body parts will cause your body to release natural growth hormone, and everything else will grow, bodyfat will drop, etc. etc.


I do lunges and go balls out on the exercise bike, so I have very little body fat and lots of muscle tone on my legs. But since I lost all of the weight, my upper body looks like a deflated balloon. It's getting better after 5 weeks of lifting, but just wondered if there is anything I could be doing better.


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

As long as you are lifting, then you are breaking down the tissue to be rebuilt. After that, to rebuild you need calories, and nitrogen. The positive Nitrogen balance will come from Amino Acids which is broken down protein, so eat 25 grams of protein every 3 hours, and you'll grow. It's as easy as that.

Now eating 25 grams of protein every 3 hours is not the easy part, yet it is.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

DVINNY said:


> As long as you are lifting, then you are breaking down the tissue to be rebuilt. After that, to rebuild you need calories, and nitrogen. The positive Nitrogen balance will come from Amino Acids which is broken down protein, so eat 25 grams of protein every 3 hours, and you'll grow. It's as easy as that.
> Now eating 25 grams of protein every 3 hours is not the easy part, yet it is.


Hmmm...that seems counterproductive. I just want muscle tone, not to get huge (I just lost the weight, I don't want it back...even if it is in muscle form instead of fat). Is there any good sources of protein and nitrogen that doesn't have a lot of calories?


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

All good sources of protein do not have a lot of calories. Each gram of protein has 4 calories. So 25 grams would only be 100 calories, and every 3 hours would be 6-7 times a day. 600-700 calories is nothing. You need other food as well, but it's the 600-700 calories that will do the trick.

And if you're body looks like a deflated balloon, how do you propose to fix it without gaining anything?


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 17, 2009)

DVINNY said:


> And if you're body looks like a deflated balloon, how do you propose to fix it without gaining anything?


Tummy tuck? Effed if I know, but lots of crunches seems to be helping without adding bulk.

Alright, I'm outie 5000. Talk at y'all tomorrow morning.


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

See ya on the flip side


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## Dleg (Feb 17, 2009)

Toenails - do you cut them short, or keep them longer to prevent ingrowns?


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## DVINNY (Feb 17, 2009)

cut them short like an idiot. Have had to have 2 of them cut out at the Dr's before.


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## Dleg (Feb 18, 2009)

That's why I leave mine kind of long, but haven't you ever hurt your wife in bed with a careless slice of the big toenail?


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## maryannette (Feb 18, 2009)

Be true to yourself.

Be kind to everyone, even to those you don't like.

Be quiet sometimes, even when you have something to say.

Smile.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

^^ obviously #3 is hard for me at times.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

I cut my toenails short, and have had one ingrown nail...damn that thing hurt.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Some cow manure piles are higher than the front push bar on your go cart. make sure you can clear it before trying to scare someone that you're about to hit the pile.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

or you might get manure stuck up under that hangnail.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Never say no to a man pointing a pistol at you.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

or to a woman pointing a pair of 38s at you.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Don't fart in the shower.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Supe said:


> Don't fart in the shower.


I'm curious as to why not.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

wilheldp_PE said:


> I'm curious as to why not.


The heat and humidity intensifies the odors and carries them up to your face. Depending on what you've eaten, results may be of Holocaust proportion.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Buy low, sell high, reap the windfall.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Supe said:


> The heat and humidity intensifies the odors and carries them up to your face. Depending on what you've eaten, results may be of Holocaust proportion.


Everybody likes their own flavor.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Never play soccer when you have an ingrown toenail.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

especially if there's manure under the nail


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Drink a can of soda, it has less sugar than Tropicana grapefruit or orange juice.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Don't piss into the wind.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Do an anti-rain dance to get rid of this shiteous Houston weather we've been having.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Why do some people seem to be cruel just for no good reason, other than cruelty.


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## tymr (Feb 18, 2009)

Would you rather be a big fish in a little pond or a little fish in a big pond? I used to think I wanted to be a little fish, but after experiencing the micro-management in both ponds, I think I'd rather be a little fish in a big pond. At least then the micro-management would be spread out to a larger population, thereby giving the impression there is less to deal with. However, with enough hard work and perseverance I could eventually become a big fish in a big or little pond, which brings me full circle because I don't know which pond I'd rather be in...I would just be a bigger fish. Any suggestions?


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Is God so powerful he can make a rock so big, He can't lift it?


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

If I build a replica of the Venusian death probe from The Six Million Dollar Man, should I replicate the silver or the black one?


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

MA_PE said:


> Is God so powerful he can make a rock so big, He can't lift it?


A rock no, a snowball yes.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

MA_PE said:


> Is God so powerful he can make a rock so big, He can't lift it?


No, but he can microwave a burrito so hot that he can't eat it.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

wilheldp_PE said:


> No, but he can microwave a burrito so hot that he can't eat it.


Or is it that he already knows how hot it is, what it tastes like, and what the diarrhea feels like, so he doesn't _have _to it?


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

But He'd eat it just because He could.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

and He knows that eating in not cheating.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Can he cheat? Or is it not cheating because he's the standard by which things are supposed to be done?


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Never eat a tuna fish sandwich that's been sitting on the picnic table for half a day.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Don't wait until day 4 to call the doctor.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large groups.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

You can't hide stuff from the IRS.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

wilheldp_PE said:


> Never underestimate the stupidity of people in large groups.


Never underestimate the stupidity of individuals for that matter.


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Natural stupidity will trump artificial intelligence every time.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Before yelling "King me!", make sure you're playing Checkers, not Chess.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Jello never goes quite where you intend when you toss it.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Don't drink until you're sloppy, drink until they're attractive.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Get out of my dreams. Get into my car.


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

A bad day fishing is better than a good day working.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

I just like looking at TX's avatar.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

There should be more avatars like TX's.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

there's always a big red one


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

MA_PE said:


> I just like looking at TX's avatar.






Capt Worley PE said:


> There should be more avatars like TX's.


That's why I haven't changed it yet. I'd have to find something just as good or y'all would never speak to me again...


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Google image search stuffed bikinis!


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

TXengrChickPE said:


> That's why I haven't changed it yet. I'd have to find something just as good or y'all would never speak to me again...


not true, but we appreciate your commitment to the cause.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Girls dressed as Catholic school girls may in fact BE Catholic school girls.


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

Capt Worley PE said:


> Google image search stuffed bikinis!


Let me google that for you!


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

I came back with this

Stuff bikini


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

Flyer_PE said:


> Natural stupidity will trump artificial intelligence every time.


^^ I may need to steal that as my signature


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

never sleep with anyone whose troubles are worse than your own


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

How boring would that be?


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

I dunno... I generally find that happy people have better sex than unhappy people


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Don't start laughing when you have a bad cough.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Farts do not have lumps


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Put down your can of Diet Dr. Pepper before reading comments on fart lumps.


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

or it comes out your nose.

Little Johnny Smith once passed an entire cheese sandwich through his nose.


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

TXengrChickPE said:


> Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't.


You shouldn't take advice on sex from the Pope. Unless you think the Holocaust never happened.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

because he consults with Dr. Ruth Westheimer


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Should I go left, right, or somewhere in between?


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

You can't go wrong if you go right.


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

why? Are they good at it?


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Never friend Chris Hansen on MySpace.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Why? is he a unicorn?


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Never friend Chris Hansen, because he's a unicorn.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

and don't play leap frog with him either


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## Supe (Feb 18, 2009)

Don't cop a feel on a cop.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Time spent wasted is not wasted time.


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## maryannette (Feb 18, 2009)

An underwater unicorn is a narwahl.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

and an apple with it's skin on the outside is called a pippin


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## frazil (Feb 18, 2009)

TXengrChickPE said:


> I dunno... I generally find that happy people have better sex than unhappy people


Are you doing a study?


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Has a study already been done?


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## mudpuppy (Feb 18, 2009)

I'll volunteer for that study.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Which category should you be put in?


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## mudpuppy (Feb 18, 2009)

I don't care, I can play either part!


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Is that because you practice a lot when you're alone?


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## mudpuppy (Feb 18, 2009)

:laugh: How did you guess that?


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

DVINNY said:


> Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.


Unbelievable...I was just about to post that.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

warped minds do think alike


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

DVINNY said:


> warped minds do think alike


Exactly what are you insinuating?


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

well, I'm not sayin', just sayin'


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

^ What would be wrong with that?


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

I'm not sure I would want a koala bear doing anything in my brain.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

well, the rainbow thing is the only thing that bothered me......

(not that there's anything wrong with that)


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## mudpuppy (Feb 18, 2009)

Don't fart in an elevator, even if you're by yourself. If you do, invariably the elevator will stop and a hot chick will get on.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

confusious say: Elevator smell berry different to midget


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

A buddy of mine was going to put a rainbow license plate on the front of his coworker's Miata. I'm not sure if it says more about the coworker or the car.


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## mudpuppy (Feb 18, 2009)

^Definitely the car. not the co-worker


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

I put a plate on a buddy of mine's truck once, it said: I LOVE GAY SEX

It was on his front bumper for 2 days


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

I had a room mate in college that had a Ford Ranger. He was going to put a bug guard on the front. He asked my other room mate what he thought of putting "Rompin' Ranger" on the bug screen. Even after telling him it would be :ghey: , the next time we saw the truck, there it was.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

Here is my pic I took of his truck, scanned it, emailed it to him. THat's how he found out. He bout went crazy.


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

^That's the beauty of states that don't have a front license plate. I'm stuck with a license plate bracket that says "If I were flying my plane, I'd be there by now."


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

he has been wanting to get me back for a while now over that one


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

That's classic. There was one of those rainbow magnets going around the parking lot at one of my old jobs. Whenever you left, you checked for the magnet, and if you had it, you moved it to somebody elses car.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

^^ I need to get one and start that at our place


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Don't go where the reindeer go....don't eat that yellow snow.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

yellow snow, or red snow


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

One of my fraternity brother's last name was Snow. He promised that he was going to name his first daughter Yellow...but when it came time, he pussed out.


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

I think Frank Zappa was singing about yellow snow.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

That would be hilarious for everyone except the girl


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Yeah, but there's nothing she can do about it until she's 18.


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

There was a family back home named Upgrave. Guy named his kids Phil and Doug. The family business was a funeral home.


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## DVINNY (Feb 18, 2009)

^ Oh now, come on? for real?


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

There was a basketball player at my college named Munchy Muskievalley. Methinks his parents were hippies.


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

DVINNY said:


> ^ Oh now, come on? for real?


On that one, I'm actually telling the truth. My sister went to high school with one of the brothers.


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## maryannette (Feb 18, 2009)

If your last name is "Steel", don't name your kid "Stainless".

My brother had a friend who DID.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Reminds me of Peerless Price. Dunno why...just does.


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## mudpuppy (Feb 18, 2009)

I bet DV would love having the last name Steel. Or SteelER.


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

When naming children, think about their initials. My university used initials + numbers for email addresses. A buddy of mine had the unfortunate ASS initials. Another had KKK.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

you know parents can't think of everything.


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 18, 2009)

I know. It just had to be hard to be the black kid with the initials KKK.


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## MA_PE (Feb 18, 2009)

Yikes! I'll say. Did he ever play at the playground with little Adolf Hitler Callahan?


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## maryannette (Feb 19, 2009)

I know a man whose initials are HER.


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

A friend of mine named Tom has initials of TOM. His sister Pam has initials of PAM.


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## maryannette (Feb 19, 2009)

That's cool. It limits your choices, though.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

here's my advice,

Have a Good morning Mary!


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## roadwreck (Feb 19, 2009)

:sucks:


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

and so do you sir !!!


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## Dleg (Feb 19, 2009)

yeah, but sometimes the best advice is no advice.


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

It's better to remain silent and let them think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.


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## Dleg (Feb 19, 2009)

But sometimes any action is better than inaction.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

I dated a girl with the initials VDS...but I didn't get any from her.


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## Supe (Feb 19, 2009)

Don't trust that the hot water from our office tap is probably "cool enough by now."


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Rw: I advise you to post more in here.


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## Supe (Feb 19, 2009)

I advise everyone to post more in here.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

^ That sounds like sound advice


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## Supe (Feb 19, 2009)

Make sure your speaker phone is muted before you talk shit about the conference call you're on.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

^^Nice, or don't get caught playing musical chairs


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## Supe (Feb 19, 2009)

Never assume that the ASME boards would try to make something easy to understand.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Don't mess around with Jim.


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## roadwreck (Feb 19, 2009)

MA_PE said:


> Rw: I advise you to post more in here.


okay, what do you want me to say?


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

roadwreck said:


> okay, what do you want me to say?


Anything, as long as it's 5 words long.


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## roadwreck (Feb 19, 2009)

Anything, as long as it's 5 words long


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

roadwreck said:


> Anything, as long as it's 5 words long


Team 1 is the worst team EVAR!


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

ever ever ever ever ever


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

OK everybody it's Business Time.


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## Supe (Feb 19, 2009)

You can not be serious.


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heavne.


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## Supe (Feb 19, 2009)

But spin the bottle is definitely worse than 7 minutes in heaven.


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

When the frost in on the pumpkin

It's not the time for dickie dunkin'


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## Supe (Feb 19, 2009)

When you're sittin' in a Chevy and you feel somethin' heavy... diarrhea.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

what is binniss time? anyway


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## Supe (Feb 19, 2009)

The time to spam EB boards, and only that.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

I have a couple hours and nothing better to do.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

I always have something better to do, but ....


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

I'm aboot to go on a date. And this happens with less frequency than it does with Fudgey.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

^ Excellent news sir, remember to cough or burp loudly if you have to fart. It seems to work for Fudgey


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

You could just cut it loose and blame it on her. They LOVE that.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

That damn dog, geesh that stinks


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

I'm none of those things. But I am two things.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

Two three four or five things


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 19, 2009)

good luck on the date. remember to compliment her hair, clothes, or shoes... but not all three


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Where was all this sage advice back when I was dating?


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## mudpuppy (Feb 19, 2009)

wilheldp_PE said:


> I'm aboot to go on a date. And this happens with less frequency than it does with Fudgey.


Lucky bastard.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

Don't mention the hair, best to go with the shoes, unless they are some peter pan elf looking things, then go with the clothes.....

... tell her they'd look better off


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## mudpuppy (Feb 19, 2009)

Considering my track record I cannot give dating advice. Instead I warn you to never, under any circumstances, take a laxative and a sleeping aid at the same time.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

It's like having a RUNNY DREAM eh?


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## mudpuppy (Feb 19, 2009)

^EWWWWw, that's gross. Yuck yuk.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

I do try.

Or it's like having a Chocolate Nap


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## mudpuppy (Feb 19, 2009)

That doesn't sound very tasty at all.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

Or maybe a NESTLE NIGHTMARE


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## mudpuppy (Feb 19, 2009)

Oh my. Let's try something else: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

I'm schizophrenic, and so am I


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

a chocolate nap is better than a dirt nap


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

yeah, but both can be cleaned with a Wet Nap


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## mudpuppy (Feb 19, 2009)

Or a dirty nappy ho.


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

DVINNY said:


> what is binniss time? anyway



courtsey of Fraz

http://engineerboards.com/index.php?s=&amp;amp...t&amp;p=6703355


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

very nice, leave it to Fraz


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

That killed me, I had to play it for my wife.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

I had to take a shower


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## mudpuppy (Feb 19, 2009)

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

I have a 1:1 scale map of the US


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

To have a good time, you must have a good watch


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

where there's smoke there's fire


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

Red on the head, FIRE in the hole


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

snow on the roof but a fire in the fireplace


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## mudpuppy (Feb 19, 2009)

DVINNY said:


> Red on the head, FIRE in the hole


I've never heard that one. Nice!


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Back from the date. I think she likes me, but I'm not so sure I like her.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

I think it is very true


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## mudpuppy (Feb 19, 2009)

MA_PE said:


> snow on the roof but a fire in the fireplace


Once again, eww, yuck yuk.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

If the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

Milk on the lips, but Fudge on the brownstar


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Tulips on your organ is better than crabs on your piano


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

That is very true, but I don't have a piano


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

there you go. She should have taken golf lessons instead


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Obviously you're not a golfer.


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## DVINNY (Feb 19, 2009)

Yup, those F'in Lessons didn't pay off


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

I guess we don't know that now do we?


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

I know everything...just ask me.


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

Does the deer have any dough?


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

What deer? You have to be more specific.


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

yeah. two bucks

(Three stooges)


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

I don't like the Three Stooges.


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## MA_PE (Feb 19, 2009)

to each his own. Ironically I really don't care much for the other slapstick of that era (e.g. Marx Brothers, Laurel and Hardy, etc.) but I think the Stooges are a riot.


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## DVINNY (Feb 20, 2009)

The Stooges are the greatest


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

I haven't watched the Three Stooges since I was in grade school. It used to be them and Heckle and Jeckle in the morning before I went to school.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

I was more of a cartoon person.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Is it wrong to have the hots for a cartoon character?


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

No....Jessica Rabbit, Josey and the Pussycats, Lois Griffin, etc. All hot.


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Capt Worley PE said:


> Is it wrong to have the hots for a cartoon character?


It is if the cartoon character is Bugs Bunny in drag.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

I always thought Gadget from Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers was cute too...you know...for a cartoon chipmunk.


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

Or the Princess and Foxy Love from Drawn Together.


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## MA_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Anne Margrock (guest appearance on the Flintstones) wa hot!

Let's not forget Daphne on Scooby Doo.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

There is a whole porn fetish based on cartoon animals. I think that's equally as disturbing as plushies.


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

And you know the e-surance lady is a freak in the sack.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

wilheldp_PE said:


> No....Jessica Rabbit, *Josey and the Pussycats*, Lois Griffin, etc. All hot.






MA_PE said:


> Anne Margrock (guest appearance on the Flintstones) wa hot!Let's not forget* Daphne* on Scooby Doo.


Josie and Daphne were the specific characters.

Cherry Poptart and Trixie from Speed racer were hawt too.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

That Smurfette was one hot piece o' ass.


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

Aeon Flux could be added to the list.

Jillian from Family Guy, Brian's ex-girlfriend.


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## MA_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Tinkerbell was made for one thing only....


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Supe said:


> Jillian from Family Guy, Brian's ex-girlfriend.


Oh yeah...forgot about her. Hawt.


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

Maude Flanders, Lurleen Lumpkin, and I forget the name of Homer's co-worker at the power plant for that one episode.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Dragonball Z had some weird shizzit going down...


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

There was another cartoon hottie named Faye from Cowboy Bebop.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Aeon Flux was a little on the scary side...


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 20, 2009)

MA_PE said:


> Tinkerbell was made for one thing only....


Wasn't her mouth too small for that?


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## Flyer_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Capt Worley PE said:


> Aeon Flux was a little on the scary side...


I'm not sure if I would define that one as scary or just plain weird.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

She definitely was weird as well.


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## MA_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

TXengrChickPE said:


> Wasn't her mouth too small for that?


you forget...she was magic.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Yes, yes she is. And she has a dirty mind.


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 20, 2009)

Capt Worley PE said:


> Yes, yes she is. And she has a dirty mind.


Ok, I'm lost. Whose mind are you talking about?


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

I always was a fan of petite women, but I think Tinkerbell is just a second degree manslaughter charge waiting to happen.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

You can't forget Ms. Cartman...and you know she puts out.


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

wilheldp_PE said:


> You can't forget Ms. Cartman...and you know she puts out.


Puts out? Hell, she was on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

TXengrChickPE said:


> Ok, I'm lost. Whose mind are you talking about?


Tinkerbell's. She has a filthy little mind.


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

wilheldp_PE said:


> You can't forget Ms. Cartman...and you know she puts out.


Or how about the teacher that was having an affair with Ike?

"Nicccce"


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Older Pebbles was pretty hot, too.


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 20, 2009)

Capt Worley PE said:


> Tinkerbell's. She has a filthy little mind.


rlyflag:

care to expand on that?


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

Well, she does live in the same place that Michael Jackson named his house. The implications of that alone have got to work against her considerably.


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## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

She's more of a wood's nymph than a fairy. Nuff said.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

No beer and no TV makes Homer something something...

Go crazy?

DON'T MIND IF I DO!


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

Daaaavid Letterman!

All this tonight an more on 60 Minutes!

Ahhhhhhh!


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Ceiling waffles are sacralicious.

five.


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

According to the bottle, you can experience more at drpepper.com


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Never drink the last swallow.


----------



## TXengrChickPE (Feb 20, 2009)

Yum... I need some Diet Dr. Pepper.


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

The machine over there has really old cans of it.


----------



## TXengrChickPE (Feb 20, 2009)

Our machine only has Diet Coke


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

I need some Code Red.


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

I'd kill for some Mountain Dew original


----------



## TXengrChickPE (Feb 20, 2009)

Mountain Dew does BAD things to me


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Like what? I'm kinda curious.


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

It puts on some leathers...


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## TXengrChickPE (Feb 20, 2009)

You are what you eat


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

You eat other people - giggity.


----------



## TXengrChickPE (Feb 20, 2009)

No, you eat OUT other people


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

Ziiiing!

I wish thats what she said.


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.


----------



## Flyer_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Flying Motto: I'd rather be down here wishing I was up there than up there wishing I was down here.


----------



## TXengrChickPE (Feb 20, 2009)

Flyer_PE said:


> Flying Motto: I'd rather be down here wishing I was up there than up there wishing I was down here.


That's good. I like it.


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## MA_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Capt Worley PE said:


> She's more of a wood's nymph than a fairy. Nuff said.


:Locolaugh: :Locolaugh:

excellent! sometimes it's worth it to go back and read the posts.


----------



## Flyer_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

There are actually some pretty cool posts buried in the post pad threads.


----------



## Capt Worley PE (Feb 20, 2009)

But you'll waste a lot of time trying to find them...


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

I doubt there's anyone dumb enough to try to find anything meaningful in these threads.


----------



## Flyer_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

That just it. Some neat stuff that will never see the light of day again.


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.


----------



## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Put the lotion in the effin' basket!


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

I need to stop sitting with my legs crossed (figure 4 style, I can't physically cross them girly style). My foot constantly falls asleep.


----------



## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

Supe said:


> I need to stop sitting with my legs crossed


Why? Do you have a reason?


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

wilheldp_PE said:


> Why? Do you have a reason?


Its just comfortable at first. I have a corner desk, so I put my right foot on my left leg, and prop my knee up where the desk curves at the 90. After a few minutes, it falls asleep and hurts like hell.


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## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

This is a six word post.


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

Spam a lama ding dong.


----------



## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

This is a six word post.


----------



## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

Spam a lama ding dong.


----------



## wilheldp_PE (Feb 20, 2009)

This is a six word post.


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## Supe (Feb 20, 2009)

Never play engineering survivor with spam.


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