# Dear Road Guy [advice thread - careers, love, relatives, you name it]



## Dleg (Mar 11, 2014)

Dear Road Guy,

My wife has a work problem. She recently got a new boss, who is an extreme micromanager, and sends her angry e-mails on a daily basis, for example asking her why she has assigned certain staff to a task, and scolding her for not giving credit to her during speaking events, etc. The problem is my wife is now threatening to quit, and this would not be a good thing for the family finances.

What advice would you give her?

-- Messed Up in the Marianas


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## Road Guy (Mar 11, 2014)

I believe in direct confrontation whenever possible. Have her wait until she gets the next micro managing email, when that happens, and this is important, print out the email. Once it has been printed out, write in red lipstick "I am working on it asshole!"

March down the hall into the boss's desk and slam it down on his desk and yell "Jerk" very loud me then turn and walk out the door,preferable slamming the door on the way out....


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## NJmike PE (Mar 11, 2014)

Don't forget to have her find a way to accuse him of sexual harassment


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## Dleg (Mar 11, 2014)

Road Guy said:


> I believe in direct confrontation whenever possible. Have her wait until she gets the next micro managing email, when that happens, and this is important, print out the email. Once it has been printed out, write in red lipstick "I am working on it asshole!"
> 
> March down the hall into the boss's desk and slam it down on his desk and yell "Jerk" very loud me then turn and walk out the door,preferable slamming the door on the way out....


Thank you Road Guy! I will pass this advice along, and let you know what happens!


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## csb (Mar 11, 2014)

Dear Road Guy,

A friend commutes over three hours a day to a crappy city job. He drives to his home in another state, which taxes his income. His wife works from home. He's reached the end of his rope. What advice should I give him?

Signed,

WhyLive in the PeoplesRepublic


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## Road Guy (Mar 13, 2014)

Back the fuck up! Are you mother fucking telling me that some dumb motherfucker drives 3 hours each day to mother fucking Boukder? Unless he is making god damn $200,000 a year he needs to find his self a god damned job where he lives. Or he needs to up and move closer to fucking boulder?

Shit you can live in weld county and it still look like fucking Wyoming!

Bitch ass probably don't know how to jive talk anyway....


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## Dleg (Mar 13, 2014)

Now THERE's some advice.


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## T_McK_PE (Mar 13, 2014)

Dear Road Guy,

I know a guy who was once a member of a message board, he got banned because of a personality disagreement with an administrator. What should I do?

Banned no longer in effect apparently in Orlando


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## Road Guy (Mar 13, 2014)

Tom

Go to Walgreens and buy either some icey hot, Bengay, etc...

Rub it all over your hands..

Go to the sears catalog and start jerking your self as fast as you can....

That should do it!

Asswipe----


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## csb (Jul 18, 2014)

Dear Road Guy,

Last year I got drunk in an epic fashion during our local rodeo. Now my friends want to do it again at my house. Is my liver recovered from last year?

Cowboy up,

csb


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## knight1fox3 (Jul 18, 2014)

opcorn:


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## Dexman PE PMP (Jul 18, 2014)

Your liver was bad, it should be punished.

BTW, make sure the batteries in the camera are charged...


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## knight1fox3 (Jul 18, 2014)

Dexman PE said:


> BTW, make sure the batteries in the camera are charged...


You know, for science...


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## Krakosky (Jul 18, 2014)

Do you still have your boot from Vegas?


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## MetsFan (Jul 18, 2014)

Krakosky said:


> Do you still have your boot from Vegas?




Krak! Good to see you, haven't really seen anybody else from our crew.


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## csb (Jul 18, 2014)

knight1fox3 said:


> Dexman PE said:
> 
> 
> > BTW, make sure the batteries in the camera are charged...
> ...


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## Krakosky (Jul 18, 2014)

MetsFan said:


> Krakosky said:
> 
> 
> > Do you still have your boot from Vegas?
> ...


Good to see that you're still around too.


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## Dexman PE PMP (Jul 18, 2014)

csb said:


> knight1fox3 said:
> 
> 
> > Dexman PE said:
> ...


I don't think you're capable of treating a cake in such a way.


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## Road Guy (Jul 18, 2014)

CSB,

I have been pondering this question most of the day, and I think you should get totally pants down bombed out of your mind at the rodeo (whatever that is). However I also say give your liver a break and do acid instead. If acid is not available, heroin will suffice as an alternate. This way you can enjoy yourself, not let your friends down, and also give your drinking organs a break.

Have Fun,

RG


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## csb (Jul 18, 2014)

Thanks, RG!


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## knight1fox3 (Jul 18, 2014)

That cake video was funny as hell...


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## YMZ PE (Jul 21, 2014)

csb said:


> knight1fox3 said:
> 
> 
> > Dexman PE said:
> ...




I've watched this GIF more times than I care to admit.


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## Lumber Jim (Aug 5, 2014)

Dear Road Guy,

I need some advice.

I'm supposed to spend an entire week at the lake for vacation in the near future (a once a year event) but am nervous that I may be tempted to look at my phone and will likely see 150 unread emails. I will have a choice at that point:

A. Ignore them and count on there being even more when I return on the following Monday.

B. Answer them and count on getting replies to my answers plus more by the following Monday.

C. Don't look in the first place, but chance missing an "emergency" and have the result waiting for me when I return on the following Monday.

D.??

I'm really hoping you have an Option D.

Sincerely,

Door's Always Open Engineer


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## csb (Aug 5, 2014)

Are you the only one who can transplant the kidney? No? C.


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## engineergurl (Aug 5, 2014)

unless men in suits show up with papers and haul you off in a car, it's not that important, ignore it all and enjoy yourself...


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## Road Guy (Aug 5, 2014)

Woa. Are u the F'n Road Guy?


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## iwire (Aug 6, 2014)

NJmike PE said:


> Don't forget to have her find a way to accuse him of sexual harassment


Either that or dress up seductively and seduced the boss  Show some cleavage!


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## matt267 PE (Aug 6, 2014)

^ :wtlw:

:B


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## Road Guy (Aug 6, 2014)

LJ

Back wen I ran an engineering department for a county of a million people I would get 150 emails a DAY... You deserve a vacation but your work also provides a means for you to go on vacation.... Take your phone with you and glance through, but no more than once a day.. And don't reply unless it truly is a crisis.... It's also nice to know what is waiting for you in return... You just have to have the mental discipline to not get sucked into every email... Treat the emails like Facebook... Scroll down quickly and don't comment unless you see something really good ( like the stuff I post

RG


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## Lumber Jim (Aug 6, 2014)

Thanks RG!

I knew at least YOU would take it seriously... 

Turns out, (as of yesterday evening) I will likely need to be on a conference call in the middle of vacation week so I'll be working for at least a couple of hours. However, since it will not be a video conference, I will have no regret enjoying a few CABs in view of the beach while everyone else is sitting around a stuffy conference table.


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## csb (Aug 6, 2014)

Road Guy said:


> Woa. Are u the F'n Road Guy?




According to eb.com legend, perhaps. I'm also potentially Fudgey, which doesn't bode well for Mrs. Road Guy.


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## NJmike PE (Aug 6, 2014)

Dear Road Guy,

So I'm a salary employee, have been for almost a year now since getting my license. I don't get any OT for time past 40 hrs per week. Last week and this week we've had a serious deadline for two submissions by the end of this week so I've been working 10-12 hours days everyday except Sunday. I was told that I would be compensated for my time but I don't know what to expect. Obviously if I'm given a bonus check for $200 I'm gonna be insulted but what is realistic to expect given that I'm probably going to have about 35 hours OT in order to make the deadline?


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## Road Guy (Aug 7, 2014)

NJ,

Unfortunately this is common in our profession. Success comes before work, only in the dictionary. What others before you have done in the past is to smile and be appreciative of the work, be eager to put in the extra hours (so long as it is not a every week thing), however keep a record of the OT you have worked and compare that to the bonus that will hopefully be handed out at the end of the year. Hopefully it wil be factored in and you will be pleased. If it isnt then you need to maybe look elsewhere. I would caution against making a large scene out of extra week of work if this is a rare occurence, if this happens once a month then by all means go make the scene.. RG kept a cot at his office for a few years back in the early 00's when we had more work than we could do...

Focus on doing the work and then fame and fortune will be certain to follow..

RG


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## YMZ PE (Aug 7, 2014)

Where are the f* bombs? "I would caution against making a large scene"? Did RG's account get hacked into?!


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## knight1fox3 (Aug 7, 2014)

NJ, I seriously would be searching/interviewing for new positions like no other right now. While they continue to "make promises" to compensate you, there's no guarantee nor is there anyway to determine what the value will actually be. With an "Ace" in your back pocket, you'll much more leverage to make some demands/requests. Take me word for it.

Sorry for hijacking advice.


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## csb (Aug 7, 2014)

Road Guy said:


> . RG kept a cot at his office for a few years back in the early 00's when we had more work than we could do...




AWWW YEAAHHHH mmm hmmm


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## akwooly (Aug 7, 2014)

knight1fox3 said:


> NJ, I seriously would be searching/interviewing for new positions like no other right now.  While they continue to "make promises" to compensate you, there's no guarantee nor is there anyway to determine what the value will actually be.  With an "Ace" in your back pocket, you'll much more leverage to make some demands/requests.  Take me word for it.
> 
> Sorry for hijacking advice.


i tried to get him to come to AK.


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## Road Guy (Aug 7, 2014)

we also had a sauna in the basement :asthanos:


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## Wolverine (Aug 25, 2014)

Dear Road Guy;

I need some advice. See, my buddy asked me last week if I wanted to meet his girlfriends friend (GF &amp; GFF). Sure I sez, but the details didn't work out that day. But then Friday night, the buddy &amp; GF showed up where I was and hung out for a bit. Turns out the GF took a little secret video of me being me and forwarded it to GFF, and now GFF is ready to let me through the first round of screening.

All I knew about her was that she had a unique first name and a unique job - that's all I knew. Thirty Google seconds later, I've got her last name, age, profile, college stats, 5K race pace, hobbies, interests, and a picture.

Stalker Level: EXPERT.

Is this creepy? I really don't think I can help it if I have mad stalking skillz. What does Roadguy say?


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## Supe (Aug 25, 2014)

Wolverine said:


> Dear Road Guy;
> 
> I need some advice. See, my buddy asked me last week if I wanted to meet his girlfriends friend (GF &amp; GFF). Sure I sez, but the details didn't work out that day. But then Friday night, the buddy &amp; GF showed up where I was and hung out for a bit. Turns out the GF took a little secret video of me being me and forwarded it to GFF, and now GFF is ready to let me through* her vagina*.
> 
> ...


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## Road Guy (Aug 25, 2014)

Dear W,

I get this same question a lot on my talk show and no you're not a stalker, especially in this day and age.

I would need to refer you to a YouTube video that a man presented where the traits of women were plotted on XY axis based on level of hotness and level of mother fucking crazy.

Assuming she was the appropriate level of hotness and crazy then your perceived stalking like this is acceptable because a lot of bitches like To hide how fucking crazy they are.

RG


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## Sapper PE LS (Aug 26, 2014)

To The Honorable and Venerable Road Guy,

It is with great clarity of conscious that I must presume to pressure you for the details of your observations on the following matter within which I find myself mired. Having recently become more active in the noble sport of off road vehicle operation over thoroughly uneven and rugged terrain, it has become forthright apparent that the quality of shock absorbing technology and vulcanized rubber shodding on my stallion is lacking and untenable. Therefore, I beseeched upon the tiresmith and implored of him the weight in currency that one should need to balance the difference between fine knobby treaded thirty four inch diameter rolling stock and hydro impact attenuated stability. But alas, the cost is excessively high and I am left with but one option, and that is to enter violently a local vaulted stronghold under the cover of darkness and dressed in oil black clothing including a mask, take the contents of the vault and quickly make off in a non-descript sedan. This seems alarmingly dangerous and perhaps a bit unethical, but I do believe I have outlined sufficient justification in the body of this text and now I seek your sage advice on how to proceed.

Signed,

Feloniously Tempted


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## cement (Aug 26, 2014)

Who let the surveyor in?


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## Wolverine (Aug 27, 2014)

Dear Road Guy;

So now I have a ... gathering? get together? group date?... er, "meetup",... with Buddy, GF, and GFF at a local sports bar for team trivia.

What is the protocol for paying at the end of the night? Do I:

A) Pay for myself only

B) Pay for myself and the GFF

C) Make like a magnanimous gentleman and pay for everybody just to avoid the hassle (and hopefully impress the GFF enough to make it through the second round of screening.)

What to do?


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## Krakosky (Aug 27, 2014)

B


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## Supe (Aug 27, 2014)

A. No gold diggers.


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## mudpuppy (Aug 27, 2014)

That's really tricky. Some women find B to be chauvinistic. Others think it's sweet. Kinda have to get a feel for which way she swings. But I'll defer to whatever the all-knowing RG says.


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## Road Guy (Aug 27, 2014)

Dear Sapper,

It is with great fucking regret that I reply to your situation in this manner.. Having been in the situation you are in, it fucking irritated me to no avail to receive those god damned 4-wheel parts magazines full of shit them motherfuckers know we can't afford... I mean who the fuck can afford to put a $10,000 lift on a jeep? Don't get me wrong, they sure as shit look sweet......

I can just offer that you can do a shit load of off roading with a 3" lift and 33's....

Fuckin Regretfully your,

RG


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## Krakosky (Aug 28, 2014)

Dear Road Guy,

I recently moved across the country from the arctic to the Equator. I was lucky enough to have my relocation paid for by my employer. Or so I thought. Several items were damaged during transport and several boxes and a vacuum never arrived. Now, the items were not very valuable but some cannot be replaced (photo album of baby pics etc). The cost of the lost items alone is a couple thousand dollars. The moving company assigned a case worker and every time I inquire about my lost items they say they are "still looking". How can I light a fire under their ass?

Sincerely,

Krak


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## NJmike PE (Aug 28, 2014)

Dear RG,

So tomorrow is Mrs NJ's birthday. I wasn't gonna go crazy, I got her a gift card to her favorite salon and was gonna make her a nice meal for dinner and get her a cake to celebrate with the kiddos. Mentally, I had this planned for a while and expected that the weekend was going to be a continuation of the celebration. Then I find out that Mrs. NJ wants to make her own cake because she wants to do it with the kiddos. No biggie. Still have the dinner and gift tomorrow, my family on Saturday and hers on Sunday. Then I find out that Monday we are also seeing them (inlaws) to a town wide fair. Now I just get a text from my weasel in-laws informing me that my BIL will be getting out of work at 1300 tomorrow and asking if I could do the same so that I could join them for pizza and cake. First, I have a job that requires me to WORK. Second, didn't it ever dawn on them that maybe I wanted to do something with/for her on her birthday??? At this point, at the 11th hour it feels like my entire plan for her birthday has been ruined. In fact, I'm half expecting to find out that they gave her the same exact gift that I/we (kiddos) will be giving her, leaving me to feel completely worthless.

So I ask, am I making too much of this? Should I just let it go, knowing that this is the shit that they do? Do I just let her have her birthday and run the risk of seeming like I didn't plan anything?

Sincerely,

Disgruntled NJ


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## Road Guy (Aug 28, 2014)

Dear K,

Moving fucking sucks.

I'm assuming you've already aggressively called several times using colorful metaphors such as fuck, motherfucker, cunt bitch, etc.

On the phone I would be a dickhead however I would also mail them a official letter attached to an invoice for the goods that are lost or broken.

I would make the payment terms on the invoice 30 days and then state after that interest shall apply at 5%.

On the letter you write add a cc to a Fictional attorney with the Esq. title I would prefer you use a Jewish name to maybe let them know you are serious about this.

Good luck and see the first sentence of this reply if you are still confused.

RG


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## Road Guy (Aug 28, 2014)

Dear NJ,

I apologize for taking so long to reply however you need to nip this in the fucking butt right now.

I would reply via text and state that you already have plans and you can't get off work and for them to mind their own fucking business.

I also want to offer my standard reply to in law issues which is to threaten to withhold access to grandkids over the holidays.

Good luck working all that out and tell them to go fuck themselves.

RG


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## NJmike PE (Aug 28, 2014)

Spot on dude. Spot on. I really felt the same way and actually already handled some of it that way. The problem is they don't see themselves as being wrong. They see me as the ass just causing trouble in their family.


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## blybrook PE (Aug 28, 2014)

NJ, Not to step on RG's toes, but my advice is to get the biggest damn jar of KY possible and present it to them for their birthday with a note that says "This should help you get your head up there further, now go fuck yourself".

Good luck!


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## Road Guy (Aug 28, 2014)

That is an acceptable answer.


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## NJmike PE (Aug 28, 2014)

Wooly was right. Moving to Alaska would have fixed this too


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## csb (Aug 29, 2014)

Dear RG,

My car needs a new engine after only 80,000 miles. How should I word my communications to Ford?

Still biking it,

csb


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## P-E (Feb 23, 2019)

Dear Road Guy,

My favorite local brewery changed all their original beers to cater to the masses.  Now they taste sweeter and kinda chalky.  Should I just learn to like it or find a new brewery?

Bitter in MA


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## Road Guy (Feb 24, 2019)

Beer time should be happy time - if they don’t have something you like then move on...


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