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I Got 999 First World Problems

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My housekeeper crashed the Land Rover while taking it in for detailing.

Now she's going to be out of work while her femur heals. Who will clean the house?

By clean the house, do you mean mop up the blood from her body after you killed her for crashing your car?

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My scantron machine is too slow

@tj_PE can pick the tickets up for you.  @csb thinks you're the same person anyway.

I have a dozen fit-bits I just bought on ebay from Clemson, SC and no one wants them. Sent from my SM-G920P using Tapatalk

Damn, now Hockey looks like the season will not happen due to another lock-out.

I KNOW!!!!! They need to figure it out soon, or else I wont get my usualy christmas present of Hawks/Blues tickets this year.

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Howard, my next door neighbor, won't keep his jumbo jet off my airport.

Maybe your ATC is seeking out his jumbo jet.

That or TSA has slacked off and there's a major hole in the security procedures.

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