October 2019 15k SPAM Thread

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What should I ask for, for Christmas? I know both my wife and my mom will want to get me something. However, all I really want is a big pile of money, which isn't going to go over well, in either case. Any bright ideas?
I asked for a massage certificate from Boyfriend. And a vintage copy of the White Mountain Guide from my family (plus some practical stuff since I HATE getting random **** I didnt ask for or dont need)

 
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