"Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart"
Oh, a nice PG movie to watch with junior. Nope, wrong.
Kid is born with a frozen heart. Mother immediately abandons him in the middle of the night. Heart is replaced with a cuckoo clock. If the kid ever falls in love, the heart stops.
-Kid meets a girl. Ensuing musical number contains many adult references, and flowers grow out of the girl's ****s (she's +- 10 years old in the movie)
-Kid has a near heart-attack. Witch who takes care of him after mother abandons him gives him a "tune up", saves him. Witch is friend with a pair of prostitutes, one of whom has a wooden leg. Prostitutes give the kid new clothes they pulled off a dead guy after f'ing him to death (this is in the dialogue of this movie.)
-Bully is in love with same kid as a girl. Picks on the kid until kid's cuckoo clock staps the bully in the eye. Kid goes on the run.
-Kid rides train on the run, where for some unknown reason, Jack the Ripper appears and tries to stab him to death.
-Kid finds out the girl is in the circus, gives her the literal key to his heart.
-Bully shows back up, explains situation to girl, girl doesn't want to risk killing kid by making him fall in love, dejected kid goes home.
-Kid shows up at home, witch/family/friends all dead.
-Girl shows back up, chased after him with the key to his heart. Gives him key, he decides love is more important than life, kisses girl, dies.
Entire movie is filled with f*cked up musical numbers along the way. Movie is French, clearly all high as a f*cking kite when they wrote it.