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Greetings, fellow PE-nesses.

Did someone say wood?

The same one you see about your short man syndrome. I've been having a problem with stiffness in the morning. Is this something I should try to rub out myself, or should I get a professional to massage it until the stiffness goes away?

I've always been leery of people named Richard.

Guys, one day you're going to look back on this incident with fondness, as you're handing down your Fitbit to your grandchildren.  I can see it now:

But I can relate.

Too many dicks in Seattle.

Hey guys how do I play?

Fitbits really confuse me.  I've had one for a while, but sometimes it registers exercise when I haven't even been away from my computer.  The other night, in fact, I was working on my master degree and after I was finished, my fitbit registered over 10,000 steps, yet I hadn't left the computer...

*** math is all wrong. 69 should really be 15. Think about it: we're talking a 6 pressed up against a 9. That's 6+9, NOT 69. So in other words, 15.

I'd like to meet the headmaster of this school. From the article, it is apparent that even under these difficult circumstances, she didn't choke.

Thanks for all the support, folks. It really helps, because I've been kind of down most of the time, lately, and was in need of a good pick-me-up. I think it all started with the on-the-job accident I had recently. I can't remember if I told you all about that. Probably not - it takes me a...

Reagan was a ****.

I smell opportunity!

It's pretty tough to do my job from home. Don't get me wrong, I practice at home a lot. But to do the real thing, I really have to get into other spaces.

I know how to wipe. Do you like money?

Dude, with me it's the backyard that's getting out of hand. The guy who mows the front yard seems to do a pretty good job. But the backyard is like a jungle, and it's starting to stink...

Big

I don't know what it is with me, but I always seem to only hook up at the end of a long night of partying, almost always with someone that I am just dragged along and forced into being with. I have essentially no choice in the matter; it always seems like it's just up to the man upstairs, if...

Hola little buddy! I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday, again! You know I've only got one good eye, and it hasn't been on the calendar.... Well, actually, when we had the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit calendar, it was all over that thing. But I was always careful not to stick the months together.